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My First Con Kiss

July 25th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 47 Comments

kiss1

I have now kissed Darth Vader. In public, before God and everybody.

Before you ask, I’ll just say it: He’s a gentle, beautiful man. He smelled of summer lavender blossoming in the fields of Givenchy. His helmet flaps, so delicate, his control panel, so powerful. Moments after this was taken, I swooned. Didn’t think I even knew how to swoon, but swoon I did.

He’s an angel, my friends, and nothing like the churl portrayed by that oily bitch Hayden Christensen.

Tags: Comic Con · Events · In the Media · Kevin · RiffTrax · RiffTrax Live! · Riffer Blogs

47 responses so far ↓

  • 1 The Professor on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:07 am

    Looks like you got to cop a feel too, you scamp!

  • 2 Ninjew on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:12 am

    Eww.

    Dude, you *do* realize that he was makin’ it with Jar-Jar before he met you.

  • 3 ZB on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:19 am

    Kevin Copafeel!

  • 4 Smuttynose on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:24 am

    I dunno, Darth looks a bit disinterested. Is he just Coy? Aloof? Unaware? Distracted? Blind?

  • 5 Anthony on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:24 am

    Nothing has ever made it with Jar Jar. Jar Jar couldn’t even make it with himself.

    Also, Hayden Christensen should be forced to legally change his name to Oily Bitch.

  • 6 Adam on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:30 am

    When you kiss Darth Vader, you’re kissing everyone Darth Vader has ever kissed.

  • 7 Bill Corbett on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:52 am

    Shy.

  • 8 Casey on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:54 am

    I am sure his breathing pattern was interesting (and very audible) at that moment.

  • 9 Barry on Jul 25, 2008 at 7:13 am

    Careful, there, Murphy. I hear the Emperor is a jealous bastard.

  • 10 Mr. Slick on Jul 25, 2008 at 7:13 am

    Being Palpatine’s bitch he’s used to this kind of treatment.

  • 11 Mr. Slick on Jul 25, 2008 at 7:14 am

    Control, control Kevin! You must learn control!!

  • 12 Courtney on Jul 25, 2008 at 8:23 am

    Yours is a forbidden love.

  • 13 Houndstooth Mind on Jul 25, 2008 at 8:47 am

    I wonder what other sci fi villains Kevin will be kissing. I’ll just have to stay tuned and see!

  • 14 Hugh on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:11 am

    *stands outside Comic-Con*

    *raises boombox in the air*

    *plays “Tainted Love”*

  • 15 Ben on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:21 am

    Did Darth warn you about the tongue?

  • 16 Smuttynose on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:32 am

    I’m still not sure… Brooding? Nauseous? Constipated? Dead?

  • 17 Nanobots on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:34 am

    Well, he’s probably thinking “I used to be kissing Natalie Portman — and this is how far I’ve fallen”

    In fact, I think that’s what caused the “NOOOOO!” scream at the end of Episode III. He used the Dark Side to see this moment in his own future.

  • 18 SDCC: Kevin The Slutt « deep ape on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:34 am

    [...] [via the Riffblog] [...]

  • 19 Onil on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:34 am

    I had my picture taken next to a Stormtrooper. He stood a respectful distance away from me.

    My step-daughter took a picture with him 5 seconds later and man did he ever quick change gears. She totally got felt up, he was like a freaking leech with her.

  • 20 karen on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:42 am

    must be a lonely life, being a storm trooper and a mis understood evil villan. but then all villans are “misunderstood”. :)

    hrm, i wonder if this is how all fanboys be @ comic con ventions. always wanted to go, dressed as a super hot anime girl but the i had a feeling there would be too many immature nerdy boys there. meh. not worth the price when i got me own nerdy boy for about the price of what I would pay to go to the con, plus gifts, etc. :)

  • 21 R.A. Roth on Jul 25, 2008 at 10:02 am

    All right, Kevin. Palming the Vade monsters Endorian moon.

    I hate myself.

    Randy

  • 22 Jerk on Jul 25, 2008 at 10:29 am

    NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  • 23 Doktor Sleepless on Jul 25, 2008 at 10:51 am

    I’m still waiting to meet this penguin that’s on the rifftrax homepage that’s been telling me he’s going to see me at the con these past few days. What’s up with that guys? Ole bait and switch going on there or something?

    *Keeps eye on you*

  • 24 Charlie W on Jul 25, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    I hope it’s a happy wedding.

  • 25 MSTJedi on Jul 25, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    Somehow, I’d have no problem with kissing Amidala.

  • 26 justhesh on Jul 25, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    That’s just swell, Kevin. Now he’s got to Endust his shell all over again!

  • 27 Tim on Jul 25, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Oh…and here I was thinking that that probably was Hayden Christensen.

    He’s not reduced to appearing at conventions in Vader-garb to make ends meet yet?

  • 28 meg on Jul 25, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    love is love is love.

  • 29 Brian O. on Jul 25, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    He’s giving in to Kevin’s dark side.

  • 30 James Shearhart on Jul 25, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Best. Picture. Ever.

  • 31 Ninjew on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    Actually, Kevin is just fantasizing again.

    Some paparazzi snapped a picture of him blowing up his “Inflatable Darth Vader Love Doll”, and now he’s trying to spin a tale of his own before The National Enquirer gets it to press.

  • 32 Anthony on Jul 25, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    Whatever Kevin says should be considered near truth, like a doctor of the church. …Somehow I imagine this will offend some more than calling ‘X individual is GOD!’

  • 33 SecretIdentityCrisis on Jul 25, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    “I find your lack of discretion disturbing.”

  • 34 Geena on Jul 25, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    “He’s an angel, my friends, and nothing like the churl portrayed by that oily bitch Hayden Christensen.”

    If I had been drinking milk when I read this line, I would be DEAD NOW.

  • 35 justhesh on Jul 25, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    That’s not always such a good thing, Anthony. Remember what happened to the Church of the Bomb…

  • 36 Gary Glover on Jul 25, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    When I was at the autograph session, Kevin did not kiss any of us like that. Oh, a small peck on the cheek, but it makes me think the $20 I paid to TorgosPizza was a bit extravagant.

    What? The autograph session was free? Damn, I’m a sap.

  • 37 Thom_Serveaux on Jul 26, 2008 at 10:15 am

    not to go too far afeild but in checking the cross-reference to the post on the ‘deep ape’ fansite, I came across this gem from messers Joel and Jim Hodgeson: The ‘Jolly Filter”

    http://deepape.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/watch-joel-hodgsons-jollyfilter/

  • 38 Thom_Serveaux on Jul 26, 2008 at 10:15 am

    not to go too far afield but in checking the cross-reference to the post on the ‘deep ape’ fansite, I came across this gem from messers Joel and Jim Hodgeson: The ‘Jolly Filter”

    http://deepape.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/watch-joel-hodgsons-jollyfilter/

  • 39 Thom_Serveaux on Jul 26, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Tried twice, with no luck, let’s see if it shows this time, I apologize in advance if it eventually double, or triple posts…

    …Not to go too far afield but in checking the cross-reference to the post on the ‘deep ape’ fansite, I came across this gem from messers Joel and Jim Hodgeson: The ‘Jolly Filter”

    http://deepape.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/watch-joel-hodgsons-jollyfilter/

  • 40 Anthony on Jul 27, 2008 at 2:23 am

    Amidala is so wooden if you had a snog with her you should fear splinters.

  • 41 Ninjew on Jul 27, 2008 at 10:36 am

    You think that’s bad, Kevin still hasn’t returned any of my calls since we had that little “rendezvous” all those years ago.

    “Love ‘em and leave ‘em” Kevin.

    Too bad Darth will have to learn the hard way…

  • 42 evilash on Jul 27, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    This is like porn for some SciFi geeks.

  • 43 A Person Who's Greatly Disturbed on Jul 27, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    Oh Gosh – imagine what the CHILDREN would turn out like. O_o

  • 44 Shnurbarb on Jul 27, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    You know Kevin,

    Once you kiss a Sith, there is no one else you will want to kiss with!!

  • 45 Stacia on Jul 28, 2008 at 12:58 am

    Rifftrax/Star Wars crossover slashfic arriving to the Internet in 3… 2…

  • 46 KitesAreFun on Aug 9, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    Hmm. Either Kevin Murphy’s storehouse of cultural references is even more staggeringly comprehensive than we already knew – and that’s really saying something – or he just made a malapropism that only someone who’s simultaneously an MST geek AND an art geek AND a clothing geek (scary combination) would catch:

    Givenchy was the French couturier whose graceful, minimalist designs made him a favorite of Audrey Hepburn and Jackie O before his descent into whoring his name out to 70’s excesses like bed linens and a special edition 1976 Lincoln Continental Mark IV.

    Giverny, the place where Monet lived and painted, would be the place with sun-drenched fields of lavender.

    :-)

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