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July 30th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 35 Comments

“Bad Song of the Week” has been away for several, on summer vacation from bleeding ears. We now bring it back as my bad-savvy niece Laurel (and now several of you) continue to supply us with what’s the worst of the latest and the latest of the worst. This week:

RAY J (Featuring Yung Berg) SEXY CAN I



In which the timeless question is asked: “Sexy, Can I?” to which the timeless answer is “No, Creepy, you can’t, and if you try, I’m pulling out my pepper spray.” In the video a young man with a very nice baseball cap and his friend wax rhapsodic over the way that a woman moves her body, and ask, politely, if they can do all manner of filthy things to her. “Sexy Can I” has almost everything a bad song needs – cars, jewelry, women with preternaturally large butt cheeks and plenty of bling. The only thing keeping this from being a Kid Rock song is the presence of melody and the absence of a dwarf.

If you have a nominee for Bad Song of the Week, let us have it! Submit it in the comments area here. We only ask that your song be commercially available and not jammed with obscenities.

Tags: Bad Music · In the Media · RiffTrax · Riffer Blogs · Trends · music · video

35 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Ariel on Jul 30, 2008 at 8:53 am

    I have to say that “when i grow up” by the PCD is pretty damned awful…

  • 2 Courtney on Jul 30, 2008 at 9:03 am

    Oh THAT’S why you wrote that on the signing table. I thought you’d suffered a small stroke.

  • 3 Conor Lastowka on Jul 30, 2008 at 9:27 am

    I have a few questions for the artiste:

    -Can we call him Ray?

    -Can we call him J?

    -Can we call him Ray J?

  • 4 Neb on Jul 30, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Please do.

  • 5 Neb on Jul 30, 2008 at 9:37 am

    Well, people (artists?) like this have certainly removed all doubt as to what drives most segments of the pop music business anymore. Metaphor? Symbolism? Simile? Too complicated; just belt out, “It’s all about casual sex! Let’s have sex immediately! Up with promiscuity!” as artlessly and crudely as possible, with clear illustrations for the hearing impaired.

    Yeah. What’s love got to do with it, indeed.

  • 6 Conor Lastowka on Jul 30, 2008 at 9:40 am

    I’d also like to nominate Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long”

    Features Malibu resident Kid Rock sporting a Tigers had and “Made in Detroit” jacket.

    By sampling “Sweet home alabama” AND “werewolves of London”, it employs the technique used in “juno” and “I am Legend” of having characters sit around listening to music, substituting music you already like for actually doing anything in the song.

    Features an actor playing the 19 year old version of Kid Rock.

    Features the lyric “And we were trying different things/And we were smokin’ funny things”.

    Features a girl in a confederate flag bikini.

  • 7 Smuttynose on Jul 30, 2008 at 10:14 am

    I’m a-runnin’ out RIGHT NOW to duct tape a stripper pole into my bass boat!

  • 8 Tv Miller on Jul 30, 2008 at 10:49 am

    Made popular by the upcoming Pineapple Express, this real dbag by whoever she is which is all right since I have not a clue what she is saying:

  • 9 Bill Corbett on Jul 30, 2008 at 10:52 am

    I believe I wrote that on the signing table, in re: Kevin. “Sexy, Can He?”

    Because while I love Kevin, I’m not sure he can Sexy. I’m just not sure. Perhaps he can Sexy, and prove me wrong, but I’ll go on record as saying “Kevin Murphy probably can’t Sexy.”

    (Though he IS sexy. That’s quite different, you see.)

  • 10 Kevin Murphy on Jul 30, 2008 at 11:37 am

    All true, but ya doesn’t have ta call him Johnson.

  • 11 Charlie W on Jul 30, 2008 at 11:49 am

    Sexy can I WHAT?! Explain this to me. How does an “artist” such as this get a music video when the song is all chorus. It makes no sense. Popular music these days makes me want to drill a hole in my head so the screams can escape.

  • 12 karen on Jul 30, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    um, he dont speak proper english and he with a bunch of (probably) ho’s. and no the chocolate kind, though they be chocolate looking!

    I prefer chris brown better. :) gots to remove the thug imagery.

    oh. my EYES!!!!

  • 13 Ben on Jul 30, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    Lyrics by Yoda.

  • 14 Ben on Jul 30, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    BTW I nominate Pierce Brosnan singing in “Mamma Mia”. Try this link:

    Talk about a license to kill…

  • 15 Courtney on Jul 30, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    This whole “Sexy, Can ___” is throwing me into a punctuational crisis. It seems wrong and I don’t know why and I don’t want to think about it too much.

    I will say this, it reminds me of a Lifetime movie title. “Sexy, Can I Sleep With Danger?” starring Tori Spelling.

  • 16 TeeJay on Jul 30, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    I’m with you Courtney.

    I mean, for Pete’s sake, I was reaching for my AP Style Guide.

    That’s how distraught I was.

  • 17 Cornjob on Jul 30, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    Can I just step in here for a moment and add my vomit to the ever increasing vomit pile? The twenty seconds I spent listening to that has definitely been the worst part of my day, and this day wasn’t going all that well anyway.

  • 18 RemmieBarrow on Jul 30, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    So this is what hip-hop has become; just a platform for rich young d-bags to proclaim that they are richer and more well of than everyone else. Well, I say “NO MORE, IT IS TIME TO THIN THE HERD!!”

  • 19 Ariel on Jul 30, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    “Hooked on a feeling” as sung by David Hasselhoff!

  • 20 mathey on Jul 30, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    So, do people now measure how great a song is by how much of it is edited out for general consumption? Because I swear, aside from the repetitive beat box and chorus, you’re left with a lot of “your —–” and “my —–” and even “—- —- —– —- —– —”. Can you dance to “— —-?”

  • 21 Ambitiously Stupid on Jul 30, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    Warning includes the phrase “Rascal Faltin’ all night”

  • 22 Courtney on Jul 30, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    I decided to hate myself and look up the lyrics to this song and it contains this line:

    “Sexy can I visit you at work
    While you slidin’ down the pole…”

    So she’s a fireman then. And here I thought she was a stripper.

  • 23 dave-0 on Jul 30, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    does it have to be an american pop song? this one’s commercially availible, but its a Brazillian pop song…

    its El Mundo “Chacarron Macarron”

  • 24 Onil on Jul 30, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    You can call him anything you want as long as you don’t call him late for supper.

  • 25 Heather on Jul 30, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    Why did Congress feel that it was a good idea to pass legislation mandating that every music video made after 2002 had to look like a photo shoot for Hot Chicks with Douchebags?

  • 26 Shadoestar on Jul 30, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    I nominate Girlicious’ “Like Me.”

  • 27 Enron Hubbard on Jul 30, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    At first I thought that this was a “What’s Up Tiger Lily?” type situation, but after clicking on several versions, I see that it is painfully legitimate.
    It’s even funnier the second time when one isn’t trying to figure out what the hell is going on!

  • 28 Enron Hubbard on Jul 30, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    Upon further reflection, I’m fairly certain this was on the long lost album:
    Larry Fischer’s South American Wonderments

  • 29 MVP on Jul 30, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    My mom taught me better English than that – shouldn’t it be “Sexy MAY I?”

  • 30 dave-0 on Jul 30, 2008 at 7:27 pm

    yes, one could assume its simply a siezure set to music with girls dancing in bikinis…

  • 31 trumpysmagicsnout on Jul 31, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Dunno if you’ve already discovered the wonders of The Chemical Brothers’ Salmon Dance but if not here it is:

    I apologise.

  • 32 Courtney on Jul 31, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    This is late, but I have a late submission!

    “You remind me of my Jeep.”

  • 33 Tom on Aug 1, 2008 at 5:45 am

    Happens what this is when Yoda hip-hop writes.

  • 34 Nathan on Aug 1, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    I nominate the cover of “Venus” in the razor commercial at the end of that video. Make the hurting stop!

  • 35 BSnPapproved on Aug 8, 2008 at 10:04 am

    A little old, perhaps, but how about anything by Jan Terri?