Best answer = free Rifftrax of your choice.
50 words or fewer, please. Otherwise my attention span, which is… um… what did you say?
****
UPDATE: As usual, I neglected to give a deadline. Let’s say Tuesday August 5 (a.k.a. “tomorrow”) at 11:59:59.5 EST. I think that will be…the…uh…hey, where’s the dog?
191 responses so far ↓
1 mikeB on Aug 3, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Because
2 Hugh on Aug 3, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Because the disembodied head of Estelle Getty needs her Steve Buscemi film collection with her at all times. Do not question this.
3 Courtney on Aug 3, 2008 at 4:44 pm
For the lulz!
Of course, these “lulz” are a secret network of spies funded by the Russian mob. They have access to PIN numbers, passwords, personal secret information, and our lolcats.
Next time you do something for the lulz, know who you’re working for. Commie.
4 Avy on Aug 3, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Because we love you!
… um, no. It depends on the question. It could be “Why is there a sign saying ‘why?’ on the side of a road?”, “Why are you taking a picture of me?”, or even “Why did the chicken cross this road?”
… in other words, I’m not even going to try.
5 KW on Aug 3, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Why not?
6 MikeP on Aug 3, 2008 at 4:51 pm
WHY is worth 12 points.
7 Heather on Aug 3, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Because Mommy hasn’t yet figured out how to quantum tunnel her way directly to Grammy’s house yet, dear, that’s why. Now stop asking so many silly questions or I’ll leave you at the Lakeland Zen Center in Kenosha and they’ll really give you an answer to think about.
8 Heather on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Also… worst Burma-Shave ad EVER.
9 Tr33limbz on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I work hard every day. I already love you, and I’ll love you even more. I’ll also promise to eat bacon while watching.
10 Rob T Firefly on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Plastics.
11 Houndstooth Mind on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:20 pm
It’s like you’ve been listening to conversations between me and my little one!
12 Melman on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Stop asking questions and eat your mechanically generated green substance #14.
13 AWD! on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Because the best answer will win you a free Rifftrax of your choice.
14 Hez on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Because “Wii” was already trademarked.
15 Tom in AZ on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Because I’ve been to Why, Arizona. Seriously, I have.
16 Libby on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Yours is not to ask why.
Yours is to do or die.
17 ms. chii on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:27 pm
because the aliens want to take over the world! MWHAAH!!!!
18 Ron on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:30 pm
42
19 Mitch on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Such a timeless and complicated question. Are we ready for the answer? Would knowing alter our very being?
I think we all know, on some untapped level of the psyche, it’s because he was busy. Why else would anyone choose Daniel Craig over William Shatner to play Bond?
20 Adam on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Because Stone Cold said so!
21 Melman on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Zee.
22 Mitch on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I don’t know why I wrote my email wrong in my previous post. I must be tired.
23 Groovy Monster on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:39 pm
That’s what she said!
Ohh! Zing! So burned, man.
24 Junker on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Why Vandalism? Quite frankly I blame the schools, and communism. And B.A. Baracus, but only in part.
25 Geena on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Because we missed the exits for How, When, What and Where.
26 Adrienne on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:59 pm
To get to the other side.
27 ZachDaniel on Aug 3, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Yours is not to reason why; yours is but to do and die.
And by “die” I of course mean, to kindly do whatever makes you happy.
28 Chris on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Because it is not your decision anymore, the decision belongs to the world…and the world simply asks WHY in return.
A vicious Cycle indeed!
29 RoninFox on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:16 pm
To impress the chicks, the same reason for anything that exists anywhere.
30 Junker on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:21 pm
“WHY ask useless questions? How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky? Who is John Galt?”
31 Lord Bob on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Because we don’t really have anything better to do.
32 God on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:28 pm
π
33 Danni on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers?
34 Jamie on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Because of quantum.
35 scratch on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:37 pm
because the world of comics is a frightening and confusing one. It is a place full of size small t-shirts, overweight men named Trent and pitiful hopes of female coupling.
36 doggans on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Why? I don’t know, he’s on third, and I don’t give a darn!
37 KnightsPast on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:47 pm
…did I just spend 3 hours trying to think of something witty to post to earn a $4 Rifftrack. That’s like… a buck 33 an hour.
38 Blue Raja on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:48 pm
To quote the all-wise Mask during one of his many fits of cartoonish hysteria:
“Because I GOTTA!”
39 Danni on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Because it’s there.
40 Marty (Gromit) on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Well if you don’t know I ain’t gonna tell ya
From now on it’s up to you fella
Words don’t count at a time like this
41 camcat on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I’m the Mom, that’s why!
42 MST3Kelly on Aug 3, 2008 at 6:59 pm
For the KICKS!
43 mtraeg on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Because….bitches ain’t shit.
44 Onil on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Because Mommy and Daddy don’t love each any more and it’s all your fault.
45 Scooter on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:16 pm
emm see eh?
someone took my answer of Why not?
46 Chris D. on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Because God made the stars to shine and the ivy twine.
47 Jim on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:28 pm
That’s ALWAYS why.
48 Jim on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:29 pm
er.
Hm.
THIS is ALWAYS why.
49 Meredith on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Because otherwise they’re going to get to the spaceship before we do. I don’t know why you’re complaining, you didn’t even like that turtle.
50 OmegaRowsdower on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:52 pm
As no one has taken it, I will use the BEST ANSWER as stated above
“free RiffTrax of your choice.”
I also color in the silliest answers in multiple choice questions, to assert my independence….
I’m my own person….
51 Joel on Aug 3, 2008 at 7:58 pm
OMG, WTF, LOL, BYE
52 To_Servo_Man on Aug 3, 2008 at 8:04 pm
ZEE
53 Ninjew on Aug 3, 2008 at 8:11 pm
I’m not going to tell you. Part of life is striving to answer this puzzling question.
Life is not supposed to be that easy.
If I gave you the answer, then you’d find the rest of your life to be boring, meaningless, and without purpose.
No, I won’t give you the answer – because I want you to be a better person. I want you to strive for higher goals. I want you to reach for your true potential.
But I won’t give you the answer, mainly because it’s fun to watch you suffer.
54 Enron Hubbard on Aug 3, 2008 at 8:13 pm
“Why?”
“What?”
“Why?”
“Why *what*?”
“Rifftrax.”
“Rifftrax?”
“Rifftrax.”
“What’s that?”
“Rifftrax.”
“WHAT?”
Drugs are Like That.
55 High Off Pixels on Aug 3, 2008 at 8:19 pm
because we like you.
M-O-U-S-E.
56 mummifiedstalin on Aug 3, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Because I ask vacuously.
57 Rob McMonigal on Aug 3, 2008 at 8:27 pm
“I agree, son, but somehow Tor Johnson just kept getting work.”
58 Ariel on Aug 3, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Question: Why?
Answer:
Because I was nineteen and jacked up on hormone and religion and I thought it was what GOD wanted. And when it was bad which was always I thought it was a test. And because at twenty one I was already old and tired.
59 Chuck on Aug 3, 2008 at 8:56 pm
http://flickr.com/photos/tangentialism/507605836/
60 Mr. Slick on Aug 3, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Because you touch yourself at night and make baby Jesus cry!
61 justhesh on Aug 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Why is not a question of life, but rather an assertion of it. Because if we lose our ability to wonder, then we lose our ability to become.
62 Why? on Aug 3, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Why.
63 Nathan on Aug 3, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
64 And last but not least... on Aug 3, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Do or do not. There is no why.
65 Anthony on Aug 3, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Because I said so and I’m big, so what I say goes. Your why is irrelevant and you’ll keep your tweedy toffee-nosed little mouth shut, you whining gobshite feeb, or I’m going to shove my foot so far up your ass if I wiggle my toes you’ll sneeze.
66 Shamalama on Aug 3, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Because you see, “w” and “h” didn’t want “y” to have it all.
But, “Y” still got more than “c”, who lost it’s word entirely to “s” and “e”.
So “y” teamed up with “o” to make it all better together with “you”!
67 Russ Rogers on Aug 3, 2008 at 10:12 pm
“Why?”
This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I’ll never tread
These are the dreams I’ll dream instead
This is the joy that’s seldom spread
These are the tears…
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel?
‘Cause I don’t think you know how I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
You don’t know what I feel
It’s over 50 words. But then if it won, I would have to give the “Choice of RiffTrax” to Annie Lennox. And I don’t have her phone number. Is she on Facebook?
68 Heather on Aug 3, 2008 at 10:15 pm
God’s original answer to Job was really harsh!
69 This Is F.U.N. on Aug 3, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Because of the gulf between our idealism and our human nature, because of our greed, because of our joy at seeing others humiliated and because of our desire to be the most attractive mate.
Er…the question was “WHY do all revolutionary social systems fail, WHY is the economy floundering, WHY do people watch reality television and WHY do we buy so much stuff we don’t need? Right?
70 suzanne on Aug 3, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Because I really, really really want Alaska to win.
71 Insert Coin(s) to Continue on Aug 3, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Because Spider-Man 1 and 2 did so well. It was inevitable.
72 Dan Coulter on Aug 4, 2008 at 12:19 am
Because little Timmy wished so very very hard.
73 SPC Aguayo in Iraq on Aug 4, 2008 at 1:04 am
forty-two
74 gamera on Aug 4, 2008 at 2:31 am
Because I don’t know if there’s room in my ass for another potato.
75 Desiree Fawn on Aug 4, 2008 at 2:58 am
Because I’m pregnant & that means I ALWAYS get my way.
76 Tim on Aug 4, 2008 at 3:56 am
Oh, those silly road workers. They left the ‘e’ out of whey.
77 Smuttynose on Aug 4, 2008 at 4:10 am
For the love of all that is is holy…
78 Ben on Aug 4, 2008 at 4:23 am
“The left fielder’s name”
“Why.”
(tip of the hat to Abbott and Costello)
79 Ben on Aug 4, 2008 at 4:25 am
WHY!!?? ASK WHY AGAIN! ASK WHY AGAIN, MOTHERF***ER! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!”
Samuel L. Jackson (who is also tired of these motherf***ing whys on this motherf***ing plane)
80 Fifty "percent" Krieger on Aug 4, 2008 at 5:44 am
KRIEGER.
81 Matthew Manard on Aug 4, 2008 at 5:52 am
Simply this… ahem…
“Sexy can I”
Thank you [bows]
82 Michael on Aug 4, 2008 at 6:01 am
“No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious.” — George Bernard Shaw.
83 Tom on Aug 4, 2008 at 6:03 am
Looking for something? Why, it’s right here.
84 wakachiwaka on Aug 4, 2008 at 6:03 am
Um tut sut.
85 Casey on Aug 4, 2008 at 6:09 am
We
Hate
You
86 Mr. Alexander on Aug 4, 2008 at 6:15 am
Just turn around, Mister Corbett. TURN AROUND. If you keeping driving into Why (Population: 1500, Vertebrate Population: 41), you’re going to see things best left unseen. If you value your life and sanity, I suggest you put the car in reverse, ignore the sucker-marks on the highway, and go back.
87 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Aug 4, 2008 at 6:50 am
Scene: Two men in bowler hats persistently push a large box that continually slides back to the bottom of an exterior stairway.
Mr. Laurel: Ollie, where are we taking this?
Mr. Hardy: I told you already, Stanley. To the man upstairs.
Mr. Laurel: To who?
Mr. Hardy: Not to who, Stanley, to whom.
Mr. Laurel: Okay, to Mr. Whom.
Mr. Hardy: Not Mr. Whom, just whom.
Mr. Laurel: So what’s in the box.
Mr. Hardy: I have absolutely no idea.
Mr. Laurel: Aren’t you curious, Ollie?
Mr. Hardy: Yes, but our job is simply to carry this burden for the man upstairs no matter how much we struggle.
Mr. Laurel: But why, Ollie?
Mr. Hardy: He will tell us when we get to the top. You’ll just have to wait, Stanley.
Mr. Laurel: But why, Ollie?
Mr. Hardy: Just look heavenward, Stanley, and you’ll see WHY.
[Enter Photo]
88 Michael on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:29 am
The town of Why is in Arizona, the Copper State.
The atomic number of copper is 29, a prime number.
On February 13th, 1912, there was a prime number of US States – the last time that this could be said. The next day, Arizona was admitted to the Union.
If you add the digits of 02/13/1912 together you get 19, which is a prime number. It is also a happy number.
The image above of the sign for Why is 313×383 pixels.
313 and 383 are also happy prime numbers.
That’s why.
89 Courtney on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:33 am
If the question is “sexy, can I?” and Bill’s response to that is “why?” then I TOTALLY change my answer.
90 Brian T on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:48 am
…are you continuing to abuse Erik’s worktime, Mr. Corbett.
91 Brian T on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:49 am
…did I forget to use a question mark in my submission?
92 Bairman on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:58 am
I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat.
93 Vicky on Aug 4, 2008 at 8:09 am
Because I wanted to add more entries to make the decision harder.
94 Walter on Aug 4, 2008 at 8:24 am
why |(h)wī|
interrogative adverb
for what reason or purpose : why did he do it?
• [with negative ] used to make or agree to a suggestion : why don’t I give you a lift?
95 yanni576 on Aug 4, 2008 at 8:40 am
because W is the 23 letter of the alphabet, H is 8 and Y is 25. 25 – 8 = 7 + 23 = 30. Three letters in ‘why,’ so 30/3=10. 25 – 23 = 2 + 8 = 10. 10 + 10 + 3 = 23!!! 23!!!
96 Kevin Murphy on Aug 4, 2008 at 8:55 am
Salad?
97 chrismartindeed on Aug 4, 2008 at 8:58 am
Because someone will cryptically reply “Why not?”
And then, before you can say ‘nanosecond’, we’ll be smack dab in the middle of a fourth Matrix installment.
Starring Keanu Reeves, the only A-list actor made from 100% recycled paper.
98 BEMaven on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:00 am
Hey, Murphy! No cutting to the front of the line!
99 Adam on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:03 am
Tony, we all know you’re upset about the divorce, but every time you do this the town has to pay for a whole new sign.
I’m sorry, but I can’t cover for you anymore. Please, from now on just write what’s on the work order.
100 Adam on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:05 am
Tony, we all know you’re upset about the divorce, but every time you do this the town has to pay for a whole new sign.
I’m sorry, but I can’t cover for you anymore. Please, from now on just write what’s on the work order.
(Apologies if this is double-posted, I’m having a little internet weirdness…)
101 Kat on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:16 am
Why?
Why!
Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick get off my back! Every time you have to question me and second guess me. Can’t you just once trust that I know what I’m doing?! Can’t you have just a little faith?! Holy Crap, the question should be “Why are you such a beating?!”
Nothing is good enough for you, is it?
It has to be all about you. You. You. You.
What about me?
What about my needs?
*sniff* don’t you love me anymore?
102 Overactor on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:33 am
The question “Why” Has been plaguing us since time began. Why are we here? Why are we different then animals? Why is Paris Hilton still famous? Why is she wearing that? However, No matter what the question is, There is always the universal answer to all of them.
Why? Because.
103 BEMaven on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:33 am
Because the town council received a grant from the National Endowment For The Arts.
Prior to that, the town was known as Whuh.
104 Nanobots on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:37 am
Answer #1: Another sign-maker whose soul has been smothered with ennui.
Answer #2: An unsuccessful campaign to get all of us to drive less.
Answer #3: An advertising campaign for a new video game. Not as successful at getting attention as the electronic light boards in Boston, but then, these guys didn’t get arrested either.
105 Shawn on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:39 am
Why? Because the sign commands it. You want to risk upsetting that thing – it’s stern at best, I don’t want to get it upset – you go right ahead.
106 Botchinator on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:43 am
Didn’t think i’d actually see this response, good show.
107 Botchinator on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:45 am
The thing is i cannot do things as well with my left hand and my right hand was full of cheerios. On top of that what business is it of yours?
108 Nanobots on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:55 am
Answer #4: A question often asked by viewers of “Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier” — although for different reasons than the filmmaker original intended.
Answer #5: Billy Joel said not to ask that (Glass Houses), and the Eagles said they couldn’t tell us either (The Long Run).
Answer #6: The rare original cover art for the Beatles “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?”
109 mathey on Aug 4, 2008 at 10:00 am
If this were a ’60s science fiction TV show, the internet would get stuck in an endless feedback loop and explode in a hail of sparks. That would also make Bill Corbett Patrick McGoohan or William Shatner (safe bet who he’d pick).
110 R.A. Roth on Aug 4, 2008 at 10:14 am
There’s no sun up in the sky
Stormy weather
Since my gal and I ain’t together
Keeps rainin’ all the time
Randy
111 ShutterBun on Aug 4, 2008 at 10:51 am
Fish.
112 Steve-O on Aug 4, 2008 at 10:58 am
I think you’re missing the point. There’s no question mark here. This is a statement, not a query.
So you want to know why? This, right here, is Why. This lonely patch of twilit sky and sun-blasted hillside is the universal answer to Man’s feeble scrabblings for understanding.
Next time your kids pester you with an endless series of “Why?”s, take them out here and leave them for a few hours. They won’t ask again.
113 Kyle on Aug 4, 2008 at 11:16 am
Answer #1: “The unusual name of the town comes from the fact that the two major highways, State Routes 85 and 86, originally intersected in a Y-intersection. At the time of its naming, Arizona law required all city names to have at least three letters, so the town’s founders named the town “Why” as opposed to simply calling it ‘Y.’” What? Too literal?
Answer #2: RON PAUL ‘08!!1!!1!!!!
114 Kyle on Aug 4, 2008 at 11:18 am
Should probably say that that’s quoted from Wiki (and they’re always right!).
And the second answer is quoted from almost every website ever.
115 Scooter on Aug 4, 2008 at 11:18 am
“Why? Because it’s science that’s why.”
some scientist in the field of mad
116 WaffleTron on Aug 4, 2008 at 11:38 am
Because if we all went on the zombie rollercoaster, a rollercoaster filled with zombies, surely at least one of us would come off a zombie. The next thing you know, you’re seeing claymation skeletons dancing and 2 giant rabbits over the horizon playing fisticuffs. Eventually those 2 rabbits would fall to pieces and you’d have to jump and weave to avoid being crushed by them, ultimately you’d be chased through an oversaturated jungle by tiny ducklings in viking helmets. When you look to turn around at the ducks, it hits you- YOU’RE one of the ducks.
That is why, Bill. That is why.
117 Heather on Aug 4, 2008 at 11:58 am
Gah. Too many “yet”s. Yeti? Or is ‘yet’ in the 3rd declension? Anyway, revised:
Because Mommy hasn’t yet figured out how to quantum tunnel her way directly to Grammy’s house, dear, that’s why. Now stop asking so many silly questions or I’ll leave you at the Lakeland Zen Center in Kenosha and they’ll really give you an answer to think about.
118 WaffleTron on Aug 4, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Basically, you see, if 9 dogs are in a pie, and the pie = society, we’re all in for one big top of a circus. Who’s with me? Not I. You know why? Cuz I’m not a duck. I’m not a bee. No, nay rather. It’s an impossibility for man to engage in such hand to carrot combat. Not on this planet. Not in you’re lifetime. Maybe in outer space.
In a rocketship, anything is possible. Did you know about the binoculars? They watch you from a far. But I watch them so really, meow meow meow meow.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed. It’s a conspiracy. STOP THEM! HALT. Now, begin. Wild Winter Weather. WWW. World Wide Web. Walt Disney World. WDW… MDM. MGM. Do you see clearly? When is the Jell-O kingdom going to crumble?
What if all the Exit signs of the world are a trap? You never thought about that before until me. Don’t think outside the box, friends, think INSIDE the INSIDE OUT BOX. Join me. We are the world. 6 was scared of 7, not for eating 9, but for the many death threats he sent 6.
If you connect all the dots on a leopard, it spells the secret code. if a dalmation and a dingo make a dalmingo, then wheres the butter in your hot air balloon? not popping. NOT POPPING!!!
buckle my shoe if you want the clue.
Did you ever stop to think WE were the dinosaurs? WE were the comet. To think, all this time, we killed ourselves millions of years ago and we didn’t even know it. Thats what scares ME most. WE. ME. WE. ME. It is impossible to swim upside down: FACT.
If you stacked every leaf ontop of eachother, you could reach the sun.
I invented the modern day face.
Sheep count humans jumping over fences before they go to sleep. There are people living behind your TV. I was born a freak of nature: My head where my feet should be and my feet where my head should be. DONT LOOK AT ME.
Unicycling is easy when you have pocket rooster. Gymnasium Lou sits at the top of the thunder cloud. Watching. Always watching.
119 WaffleTron on Aug 4, 2008 at 12:11 pm
It’s a LOT more than 50 words, Bill, and I’m sorry that I did not meet the rules of the game, but there was NO way I could have possibly shortened that more than I already had to. That is the actual reason why.
120 Danni on Aug 4, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Whoa. Did anyone else just see that or am I imagining things?
121 wakachiwaka on Aug 4, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Q: Why?
A: Yes.
122 StanleyBeagle on Aug 4, 2008 at 1:18 pm
because my reuters RSS feed just told me that changing lug nuts is not a war crime.
i’m sorry, i know i shouldn’t laugh at the news, but…
123 Natureboy (Ken) on Aug 4, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I think it is important to know where that sign is located. The sign is right on top on the Hollywood Walk of Fame star of Adam Sandler.
Need I say more?
124 Cy on Aug 4, 2008 at 1:26 pm
The battery from Yucca Flast has run down.
125 Edgewriter on Aug 4, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Because if Harry didn’t wear that thick scarf around his neck, Hagrid’s beard might leave an awful rash.
126 RemmieBarrow on Aug 4, 2008 at 1:57 pm
But then, Why not why?
127 RemmieBarrow on Aug 4, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I guess the same can be said about The Mummy 1 & 2, if you were so inclined.
128 Andy McGaffigan on Aug 4, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Because history repeats itself – try and you’ll succeed.
Never doubt that you’re the one and you can have your dream. You’re the best around. Nothings ever gonna keep you down.
129 Rob III on Aug 4, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Because Lucas wants us to hate Star Wars as much as he apparently does.
130 Scooter on Aug 4, 2008 at 2:24 pm
who has yogurt?
131 RemmieBarrow on Aug 4, 2008 at 2:26 pm
WHY SO SERIOUS??!
132 Barry on Aug 4, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Bill: Why?
Me: Well, um…. you see, Bill… it’s… (coughs nervously) It’s like, um… when a man robot and a woman robot… um… (blushes) love each other verrrry much… er… um… Oh, go ask your mother!
133 Kevin Murphy on Aug 4, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Um… Salad?
134 Courtney on Aug 4, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I just don’t know if I trust this. I feel this is all a build up to a Bud Dry commercial.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFSe_oO3Sa8
135 OmegaRowsdower on Aug 4, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Or… Soup??
136 Pak-Man on Aug 4, 2008 at 3:28 pm
If the answer to this question, no matter what it is referring to is “Because of Bacon” then whatever is being asked about is completely justified.
So to recap:
Because of Bacon!
137 Darkchashy on Aug 4, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Why? Because I want to redecorate, you know, a couple throw pillows, a T.V. News Reporter. whaddya think?
138 Spookette on Aug 4, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Because we can.
139 Tv Miller on Aug 4, 2008 at 4:16 pm
The Beatles fondly answered this with incessant repetitions to a 4/4 timed beat in 1967 so oblige yourself by turning around, kissing your child, embracing your wife and stop esoterically whining and get back to work so us slobs have a pitiable reason why. I had to sit through The Mummy 3 yesterday and I have since been incontinent.
Oh, and to not grease any palms… http://www.thedesignblog.org/entry/wake-n-bacon-alarm-clock-for-a-delicious-sound/
140 AWD! on Aug 4, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I’m sorry Bill, but your question must be in the form of an answer.
141 Libby G on Aug 4, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Rowsdower.
142 dignan on Aug 4, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Not a bad impression of Michael Corleone’s wife who blows up. Not a GREAT impression, mind you, but not a bad one.
143 Houndstooth Mind on Aug 4, 2008 at 5:15 pm
I have always thought in the back of my mind cheese and onions!
144 dignan on Aug 4, 2008 at 5:18 pm
It’s good to know that people with dyslexia can still find jobs in the highway sign painting industry.
145 gojikranz on Aug 4, 2008 at 5:34 pm
because there is alreay 126 responses and you were to lazy to read em all so you scrolled all the way down here and randomely pointed at this one. not to mention free rifftrax.
146 wakachiwaka on Aug 4, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Do I have to spell it out?
147 Mike on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I tried to come up with something witty but you know what, I failed. I could not match the shear wit of your writing, Bill.
Nevertheless, I would like a free rifftrax, please, sir.
148 mrbasehart on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I see three masturbating otters.
This really is the worst rorshach test I’ve ever seen.
149 Dallas on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Well, I already had the pants.
150 YoohooRiffer on Aug 4, 2008 at 7:37 pm
This is off topic and for that I apologize but I merely wanted to post this somewhere you would read it Bill.
I think you should write a book. I know there are plays out there that you have written but I would love a book of your thoughts on various subjects similar to a certain Mike Nelson’s Mind Over Matters book I know of. I doubt this is the first time you’ve heard this request, but you are quite a funny man and I would pay good money to read a book of your wisdom. Even a 400 page love letter to bacon and Joey Pants would be amazing. Just something to think about, Mr. Corbett.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled quest for universal truth.
151 Enron Hubbard on Aug 4, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Before you buy that 400 page Paean to Bacon (tentatively titled “Bacon. Oh, What You Do to Me”),
I have to tell you that I bought the following Bill Corbett book, “A Simple Guide to Digital Photography” and I didn’t laugh *once*!
http://www.amazon.com/Simple-Guide-Digital-Photography-Levels/dp/0817458905/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217909561&sr=1-2
What? *Different* Bill Corbett? Boy is my face red!
152 FP on Aug 4, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Why?
Because future generations will consider us, the 21st-century remnants of the American lower middle class, as priveleged royalty – that is, they would if they could read, knew any history at all, and weren’t busy murdering their children to eat.
153 camcat on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Why, it gives me time to contemplate the meanong of LIFF and keeps my mechanic in expensive suits and his kids in Ivy League colleges. But it seemed like a great idea at the time. No more raunchy sex in a moving vehicle, I s’pose.
154 Wes on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Because we need a reminder of what people so often fail to ask. Children have it right when they keep asking, looking for the whole story. As adults, all too often we take the easy, incomplete answer or we give up. Worse, we make things up to stop children asking.
155 Nathan on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:55 pm
And if Absolute Zero has taught us anything, it is that science is never wrong!
156 Nathan on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:57 pm
win.
157 Nathan on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:57 pm
epic win!
158 Nathan on Aug 4, 2008 at 9:59 pm
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five.
159 Bob Dobbs on Aug 4, 2008 at 10:46 pm
No reason. None that you need concern yourself with, anyway. For, you see, in mere moments the lava will burn through the chains that suspend you, and you will be sent plummeting to your doom in the heart of this volcano. Consider yourself blessed that will not live to see the world I will create tonight, a world of — Wait! What’s this!? How did you–? Seize him, minions! No, the machine! Why must you vex me so? WHYYYYYYY!?
160 James McKinney on Aug 4, 2008 at 11:12 pm
This is the sign on I-35: Exit 216 for Moose Lake, Minnesota.
(i.e. Why in the hell would anyone go to Moose Lake, Minnesota?)
161 Tim on Aug 5, 2008 at 3:28 am
Why Ask Why?
Drink Bud Dry.
162 Fifty "percent" Krieger on Aug 5, 2008 at 4:31 am
Vandalism.
163 Smuttynose on Aug 5, 2008 at 5:00 am
Can’t answer, eating bacon.
164 Trish on Aug 5, 2008 at 7:18 am
The number 42.
165 Dames Like Her on Aug 5, 2008 at 8:19 am
a no chicken?
166 Meat Trademark on Aug 5, 2008 at 8:23 am
Who wants to know?!
167 why on Aug 5, 2008 at 8:48 am
why?
168 Tork_110 on Aug 5, 2008 at 9:49 am
Because the priest, the rabbi, and the third guy were thirsty.
169 G-Force on Aug 5, 2008 at 9:55 am
Because I AM KIROOOOOOOOK! Also because I enjoy munching on biscotti… But mainly because I AM KIROOOK!
170 Michelle on Aug 5, 2008 at 9:57 am
Because the squirrel named Nathanial “Teeths-A-Plenty” Hawthorne is staring at me.
171 Nanobots on Aug 5, 2008 at 9:59 am
Only if the salad includes bacon-bits.
172 Nanobots on Aug 5, 2008 at 10:05 am
Heh. Early episodes of Hee-Haw also used to do spoofs of those Burma-shave ads.
… of course, that gives you an idea of how long ago those Burma-shave ads were run!
173 Nanobots on Aug 5, 2008 at 10:13 am
Really, the best answer would be if someone took pictures of a bunch of other of these green highway signs, and strung the pictures together to form some sentence, the way those ads did.
But it’d have to be someone who has a lot more time to run-around and take pictures than I do!
174 Jim on Aug 5, 2008 at 10:30 am
Because pictures of Brangelina’s twins are here!!!!
175 Marie on Aug 5, 2008 at 10:44 am
The question is, “How do you f*** with a GPS?” Alex. Now, I’ll take “Bacon” for a thousand.
176 Anthony on Aug 5, 2008 at 10:54 am
Augustine, Aquinas, and others might well place the reasoning as the will of the Prime Mover. That’s a decent why. He’s also quite big.
177 R.A. Roth on Aug 5, 2008 at 11:29 am
is bacon so delicious? Because it’s bacon.
Randy
178 euphoriafish on Aug 5, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Only Dr. Sam Beckett knows the identity of the man who killed Laura Palmer. This fall on NBC, David Lynch presents a tale of suspense, intrigue, science and spirituality. Ziggy says there is a 98.333333 chance you won’t miss it.
179 seanf on Aug 5, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Because I’m like the wind, baby. Nobody gets me.
180 Hotbox F. Mellonhead on Aug 5, 2008 at 1:23 pm
‘cuz
181 seanf on Aug 5, 2008 at 1:25 pm
And I should mention that I’ve already copyrighted this phrase with the United States Trademark office. Which means I now own it. Which means that anyone who has EVER used it has to pay me approximately 187 kajillion dollars.
Murphy, I take all forms of payment except Diners’ Club and McDonalds’ gift certificates.
182 Scarlett on Aug 5, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Why? Because it’s all about you.
That’s right, we all stand in some sort of frozen reality waiting for you to come in so we can reanimate again. Our every thought, feeling and word is in fact a testament that you are the sum total of life. Looking at you right now, I realize that every moment of my life was but a prelude to this one magical, destiny shaping moment….
Oh, go google or Wikipedia it like you do everything else as you begin to ask yourself why you continue to torture yourself when we both know I’m just going to mock and ridicule you like I do every time you ask me things like this…
183 Darkchashy on Aug 5, 2008 at 4:56 pm
respect
184 Natureboy (Ken) on Aug 6, 2008 at 5:24 am
Why? For a free Rifftrax, stupid!
185 Geena on Aug 6, 2008 at 11:14 am
You leave Eric Stoltz alone!
186 Geena on Aug 6, 2008 at 11:20 am
But only sometimes.
187 Geena on Aug 6, 2008 at 11:21 am
Because all the other axes had better agents.
188 RoninFox on Aug 6, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Why ask why? Drink Bud Dry?
Okay I said it, where’s my free beer?
189 Nathan on Aug 6, 2008 at 11:03 pm
I called it. That gives me a wee bit of pleasure in my still-shamed-from-losing eyes.
…That’s right, my eyes can feel pleasure…. Shut up…
190 Heather on Aug 7, 2008 at 5:28 pm
This one made me laugh out loud. Bravo!
191 lalpexcewix on Dec 19, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Thanks the author!