The RiffTrax Blog header image 1

Money for nothing, Sexman for free

August 11th, 2008 by Conor Lastowka · 27 Comments

It’s been six months since I made the business deal of a lifetime, snatching up the domain name to document the ongoing genius of everyone’s favorite vulgar Canadian pre-teen.  My motives were based on more than just admiration for the man though.  I had a google adsense account with $82 in it from my days of having a personal blog that I needed to get up to $100 before they would send me a check.  I figured that hitching my wagon to the inevitable meteoric rise of The Sexman would be a good way to eventually see that money.

It’s going about as well as expected.  Since the website lauched in the beginning of February, the clicks have poured in, netting me a cold hard, $7.55 (more than a dollar per month!)  The man himself linked to it on his youtube page, calling it “his official website”, not stopping to question: A) how this website sprung up to catalogue his videos or B) who on earth would create such a site.  Sending him messages on youtube received no response.

Traffic hit an all time high last Wednesday, with the announcement that Pruane2 was finally getting braces. 185 people flocked to the site. Come and see me in March 2009 people.  Drinks will be on me and my $100 check.

Tags: Memes · RiffTrax · silly

27 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Andy McGaffigan on Aug 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    i’m not sure if you’ve seen this, but the sexman is now selling t-shirts, which were hand-stitched in the bowels of hell.

  • 2 Onil on Aug 11, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    I’m in the market for a good ass shirt.

    Thanks, Sexman!

  • 3 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 11, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    Why, oh why did I EVER click on that kid’s link. The abbreviated bowl cut! The zits! The black marble staring eyes! Most of all- that whiny, nasal, self-righteous snorkel adolescent VOICE has doused my poor neurons with teenage vitriol, and I shall never be the same. I blame myself.
    And I say a silent prayer of thanks that the technology that brings this creature into my home was nonexistent during my whiny, nasal, self-righteous adolescent days. The thought of any other sentient being bearing witness to this epoch of my life is intolerable.
    Of course, now I am a whiny old crank, and someone is- reading this-

  • 4 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 11, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    I take it all back. This kid is hilarious. The tour of his house sold me. Why “Father John”? Does his dad forget his name, or beat the kid with a metal rod unless he says “Father John” in full?
    I love how he mentions that the “famous” cross has been moved since its cinematic appearance. And how the VCR is “very very” old as if it were a Victrola.
    But my favorite has to be “East Coast, bitches!”
    I would give up a week’s medication to watch this kid get jiggy to Big E Smalls. The check is in the mail, Conor.

    I weep for the future…

  • 5 MST3Kelly on Aug 11, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    that’s who this kid reminds me of. Darby Crash.

  • 6 Conor Lastowka on Aug 11, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    I highly recommend Sexman Vs. Sexinator. Like his hero, Biggie, he foresees his own death:

  • 7 Conor Lastowka on Aug 11, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    I think that may be some opportunistic jerk taking advantage of his popularity to make a quick buck. The nerve!

  • 8 Stacia on Aug 11, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    And me, I’m just jealous that someone clicked on your Adsense links. I think I got 1 whole click in the many months ads were on my blog. Who knew the secret to making big bucks was to have soulless eyes and pretend to be 54 years old.

  • 9 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 11, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    Dear Conor:

    real talk homes.


  • 10 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 11, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    oops! forgot this-


  • 11 Onil on Aug 11, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    Is it wrong for me to hope The Sexman also has a five year plan of his own?

  • 12 MST3Kelly on Aug 11, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    and Darby did write a song called ‘Sexboy.’


  • 13 Kyle on Aug 11, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    Why did I just watch five of his videos? Please, someone tell me, before I have to check myself into an asylum.

  • 14 Queen Shadowrama on Aug 11, 2008 at 11:20 pm

    I watched like ten of them, so I’m far more disturbed than you. But hey, we should totally be roomies at the asylum! :-)

  • 15 Kleenex on Aug 12, 2008 at 4:12 am

    The Sexman is the Andy Rooney of his generation. I must admit I laughed my ass off at the braces video.

  • 16 suzanne on Aug 12, 2008 at 7:15 am

    I take back all the things I said about you, Conor. You are clearly not a lazy ass. You are just really, really mental.

  • 17 Kleenex on Aug 12, 2008 at 8:45 am

    We need this kid as a guest riffer! Make it happen, Connor!

  • 18 LemSlaw on Aug 12, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    He is almost a self-facilitating media node.

  • 19 Kyle on Aug 12, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    Yay! We can stay up all night watching MST3K!

  • 20 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 13, 2008 at 11:35 am

    Now that I am hooked on this kid’s brand of media heroin, I checked to see his latest offering. It is a touching life lesson called “A Crow” in which John- I mean, “Day-ahhdd”- find a wounded crow and take it to a wooded area across the street from their home.
    The poor bird. This is just what you want in your face when you are ill: a whiny pre-teen with a video camera. “Hehh-lo. Ya sick!? I hope he doesn’t have AIDS.”
    This kid is a naturally occuring Gollum.
    (Pardon me for posting so much: but I figure hey, Conor makes some scratch every time I watch this nasal nightmare child.)

  • 21 Conor Lastowka on Aug 13, 2008 at 11:45 am

    The highlight of “A Crow” was the shot of the garbage can in their garage.

  • 22 MST3Kelly on Aug 13, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    and the poignant shot of the many, many empty beer cans in the sink.
    almost as effective as the baby carriage rolling down the stairs in ‘The Battleship Potemkin.’

  • 23 Onil on Aug 13, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    oh my god! The latex gloves, the rubber jacket smock thingie, the close proximity to the woods…Sexman’s Daaaaaaaaaad is a serial killer!

  • 24 MST3Kelly on Aug 13, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    I think we are talking about the same thing. I’m sorry, Conor; I just can’t think straight after watching this latest masterpiece. My mind is boggled the way it was after I sat through “Un Chien Andalou” for the first time at 10 years old.
    good art has a way of doing that…

  • 25 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 13, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Father John’s steely stoicism also hints at a hidden, body-disposing sociopathic side.
    Of course, he does have to live with his video-camera toting child. They don’t make Ritalin strong enough for this kid.

    (I hope Conor just made more money!)

  • 26 Dorky09 on Feb 12, 2009 at 5:24 am

    meteroic rise…? sorry man, you got your astronomy wrong. meteors always FALL, they don’t rise. basically, they are just stones from outer space.

  • 27 蟻力神 on Jul 4, 2011 at 1:09 am