…or just masterbNEVERMIND.
(Ahem.) I am pleased and also terrified to announce that myself, Kevin Murphy, and Mike Nelson have now formed a rock-n-roll supergroup along with Ted Nugent.* Introducing the RiffTones:
The RiffTones! I guess!
As you can see from the picture, the excitement of this new endeavor has driven me mad.
Now here’s an interesting and subtly-amusing anecdote about the origin of our group’s name. Imagine me with a knowing, wry smile, saying this:
- “We needed a name, really quickly. So I typed that.”
Why did we need a band name in such haste? Because, ladies and gentlemen, we are now MASTERS OF SONG FU.
(…or potential, though not proven, masters? Not sure that works yet.)
In any case, we (ahem) RiffTones will be getting crushed by competing with such song giants as Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm, actual professional touring musicians. Good God, what have we done?!?!
We’ll be given song challenges by Ken Plume, the evil genius at Quick Stop Entertainment, and very little time to produce these “songs.” It’s like Top Chef, in a sense, though producing nourishment for the soul…. Or on the flip side, poision for that very same soul. (And while Ken Plume is a very beautiful man, even he’s not as easy on the eyes as Padma.)
“You’ll never make it on Tin Pan Alley, Grasshopper. You call that a freakin’ chorus?“
So check in frequently, and enjoy a nice big serving of Schadenfreude… on us!
(* Left the group right away when a Tule Elk wandered by, necessitating an immediate bow-hunt.)
***
MIKE ADDS: My prediction? Pain.
51 responses so far ↓
1 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 13, 2008 at 11:49 am
Like anything else touched by you titan conquerors of media, this too shall turn to gold.
Seriously, you are all good singers. Especially Kevin. And the more outlets for your talents, the better. I await with bated breath (cleaning ears with Q-tip in anticipation.)
2 Kyle on Aug 13, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Wow. I must be psychic. I posted in a previous blog entry how I had a dream about the three of you doing videos of songs.
3 Tim on Aug 13, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Were you guys trained in the art of Song Fu by Laurence Fishburne, while collectively hooked up via brain link to a virtual world?
‘Cause I was.
4 Natureboy (Ken) on Aug 13, 2008 at 12:51 pm
You guys should have a jam with The Rock Bottom Remainders. (who ever can figure out who consists of that band will receive a cardboard cookie).
5 Smuttynose on Aug 13, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Dave Barry, um… others…
6 Smuttynose on Aug 13, 2008 at 12:58 pm
STOLEN FROM THE INTERNET: Greil Marcus, ringer Josh Kelly, Robert Fulghum; Roy Blount, Jr., Barbara Kingsolver, Dave Marsh (no longer with the band), ringer Jerry Peterson, Stephen King, Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson, Joel Selvin, Matt Groening, Tad Bartimus, Amy Tan, Kathi Goldmark
7 norgavue on Aug 13, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Well it’s a good thing you all are getting into singing. We already know the three of you can DANCE!!!!!!!
8 Danni on Aug 13, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I thought Dave Barry’s old band was Federal Duck?
9 Onil on Aug 13, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Sweet! A good old fashioned smash or trash. Good luck, Rifftones!
10 Natureboy (Ken) on Aug 13, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Very good,
The other two I can remember are Stephen King and Ridley Pearson.
11 Natureboy (Ken) on Aug 13, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Smuttynose, even though you used a search engine, you win the cardboard cookie.
I havve actually heard them play and they are not too bad.
12 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 13, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Um- Zero Mostel? Elmo Lincoln? Helen Twelvetrees? Ben Turpin? Yakima Canutt?
13 MST3Kelly on Aug 13, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Will Shatter? Geza X? Penelope Houston? Sally Mutant? Jah Wobble? Feargal Sharkey? Tomata DuPlenty?
14 TeeJay on Aug 13, 2008 at 2:22 pm
When’s the new CD coming out?
Will we be able to rent you for parties?
I imagine a perfectly harmonized rendition of “Happy Birthday to you” while you shower the honored one with Cheetohs.
I don’t know why… hmmmm
15 Courtney on Aug 13, 2008 at 3:32 pm
You guys are going to be on Nashville Star next season right?
16 Charlie W on Aug 13, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Can’t wait for the album. I hope you guys guest feature Disembodio in a song, I hear he can really belt out Aretha Franklin songs.
17 Lord Bob on Aug 13, 2008 at 3:56 pm
You know, “Crow T. and the Rifftones” would have a nice sort-of 50s jive band aura about it.
18 OmegaRowsdower on Aug 13, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Wow, the first Iron… song… Chef…
Ingredient is the Moon…
I’ve got nothing…
Good Luck
19 zoidberg on Aug 13, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Just remember to BEEEEEEEEE NATURAL!
20 Avy on Aug 13, 2008 at 6:20 pm
That’s immediately what I thought of when I read this. xD Do you think you can predict the winner? O.O”
21 Avy on Aug 13, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Mmm… cheetos.
22 Krunchy on Aug 13, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I actually SAW the Rock Bottom Remainders LIVE, the night Cheers was airing it’s final episode. Steven King got on the microphone and said “I’m glad to see soooo many smart people that know how to program their F@#%in VCR’s!!”
Only thing scarier than reading a Steven King book is being in a room with a bunch of Steven King FANS!!
23 Erik @ RiffTrax on Aug 13, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Yes, but what does this have to do with the RiffTrax Ringtones, aka RiffTones?
http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftones
(Maybe I should make the URL “ringtones” …)
24 MikeP on Aug 13, 2008 at 6:51 pm
At least you didn’t name yourselves something totally juvenile and lacking in dignity. Like “Rumpleforeskin and the Erect Members”.
25 Casey on Aug 13, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Looks like a Fruit of the Loom T-shirt ad.
26 wakachiwaka on Aug 13, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Kilgore Trout?
27 Ian on Aug 13, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Rocking has commenced.. Rifftones FTW.
“Morrisey and the Boatniks” with special guest star Michael Finestein.
28 Heather on Aug 13, 2008 at 7:57 pm
I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that the song will somehow turn into a paean to the “Moons Over My Hammy” breakfast plate at Denny’s.
29 Kyle on Aug 13, 2008 at 8:03 pm
I think I’ll be trying to predict the lotto numbers first.
30 Spookette on Aug 13, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Good luck, guys! I can’t wait to hear the first song.
31 Mr. Slick on Aug 13, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Hey wasn’t Kevin in a band before?
http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/johyowza/
32 suzanne on Aug 13, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Here’s a double-challenge, if you double-dog dare: Take whatever theme Song Fu throws at you, and incorporate a state quarter reference.
You’ll soon learn how I feel.
33 Droogi on Aug 13, 2008 at 11:19 pm
My god, please tell me you’re kidding.
Talk about splitting loyalties! This is just cruel. I’ve been a fan of you three for over ten years now, but Jonny C. is a sexy nerdy god of thunder!
No matter who I vote for, I fail at least one of my heroes.
34 Queen Bee on Aug 14, 2008 at 5:34 am
Wheeeeee! This is *almost* enough to tear me away from live Olympics coverage of team handball quarter-finals.
35 Olympics Crack UPDATE « Blonde Champagne on Aug 14, 2008 at 6:19 am
[...] in the realm of combat by the masters for enormous stakes on a global stage, the gentlemen of Mystery Science Theater 3000/RIfftrax, including my total BFF’s Mike Nelson [...]
36 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Aug 14, 2008 at 7:17 am
Hey guys,
Why not the Mid-RiffTones? What a perfect name for those middling middle-aged middle management midsize driving Middle Earth loving Mid-Westerners who make up your fan base.
37 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Aug 14, 2008 at 7:23 am
Kudos Invisible Cracker Mom for your fantastic film buffery! Particularly in citing Yak, the granddaddy of all stuntmen.
38 TeeJay on Aug 14, 2008 at 7:43 am
I was thinking a Federation Starfleet symbol in the left corner of the shirt…
39 OmegaRowsdower on Aug 14, 2008 at 12:33 pm
or the Silma-RiffTones
40 OmegaRowsdower on Aug 14, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Conversely, I will stick close to the trunk and guess it will be a song about mooning someone….
41 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 14, 2008 at 1:05 pm
(blushing) I thank you Sir!
42 Invisible Cracker Mom on Aug 14, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Would that name not encourage their fans to wear t-shirts with the band’s name exposing their pallid mid-life paunchy tummies?
You know- this could be lots of fun. Mid-LifeRiff-a-palooza? Middle-Mass? Mass of Mushy Middles?
what were we talking about?
43 NavarezElectro on Aug 14, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Or “Sophisti-f@$k and the Revlon Spam Queens.”
44 NavarezElectro on Aug 14, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The concession stands at their concerts would sell veggie burgers studded with beta-blockers, calcium fortified estrogen shots, 3-D psychedelic reading glasses. You could have your mosh-pit strained muscles massaged with soothing herbal unguents. Lo-cal smoothies, laced with the finest fruit vodkas, would be quaffed.
Dude, I’m so there.
45 OmegaRowsdower on Aug 14, 2008 at 2:47 pm
And Still it makes more sense than the Silmarillion
46 MST3Kelly on Aug 14, 2008 at 3:05 pm
how about ‘The Riffinators’? ‘The Family Riff’? ‘The Riff-Tastics’? ‘Riff-topia’? albums produced in ‘Riff-ola’ sound. hear them from your quad-speakers for the fantastic ‘Riff-O-Rama’ experience. see their music at your local theater in ‘Riff-O-Round’ sound.
ok ok I’m going now
47 Laughing Sal on Aug 15, 2008 at 3:27 am
and Percy Dovetonsils
48 Blue Raja on Aug 15, 2008 at 7:59 am
Aw c’mon, you could’ve at least done “The Riffingtons”!
Or at the VERY least “Rock ‘N Roll Martians.”
49 JohnBoze on Aug 19, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Ah, so when you came to see Paul & Storm with Jonathan Coulton on the first of May you were actually performing recon duties???
50 Mike, Bill, and Kevin show off their Song Fu « deep ape on Sep 4, 2008 at 12:35 am
[...] couple of weeks ago, Bill announced that he, Mike, and Kevin would be participating in Quick Stop Entertainment’s annual [...]
51 Recent Links Tagged With "masters" - JabberTags on Oct 11, 2008 at 6:04 pm
[...] public links >> masters Are we… MASTERS OF SONG FU?! Saved by caq on Fri 10-10-2008 Wealth Masters International and Carbon Copy Pro Saved by [...]