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September 9th, 2008 by · 13 Comments


As I’m sure many of you often do, I was browsing the wikipedia entry for my high school today.  Probably about four years ago, my friend Greg Harrell-Edge and I decided to exploit this new Wikipedia thing and add ourselves to the “notable alumni” section.  (Note: The section includes the screenwriter of Ben Affleck’s “Reindeer Games” and the kid that George Allen referred to as “Macaca.”)  To keep it free of bias, I added Greg, who had recently been deemed “The Laziest Man in America” by Jimmy Kimmel Live, and he added me, as “The Creator of National High Five Day.”  I believe the goal was to see who would be removed first by the svelte, tanned wikipedia gatekeepers, therein sealing forever the others claim as the “more notable.”

We had a good run of several years on the list, but looking at it today, I noticed we were gone.  The talk page confirms that this deletion too place over a year ago, when my newest enemy Vamoom so eloquently stated:

This section is, in my opinion, full of not-so-notable alumni. Anyone can become notable for whatever reason. The notable alumni section should highlight the strengths of the school in academics and related areas. For example, neither Greg Harrell-Edge (deemed the “Laziest Man In America” by the TV show Jimmy Kimmel Live) nor Conor Lastowka (founder of National High Five Day) should be there. Neither is well heard of and neither has a significant accomplishment. I am sure there are others, but these are just examples. 

Rarely does one have his notability questioned in such a damning manner.  At a time like this, one has two options: A.)  Tuck your tail between your legs and retreat from the public eye.  Or B.)  Launch a high profile campaign to affirm my notability so I get back on the list and Greg doesn’t.  Any canon law experts with experience navigating the the minutiae of Wikipedia rules and regulations is welcome to assist my cause on the Discussion page.

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