We’ve gone off track here at the RiffTrax blog. What was meant to be a repository for up-to-the-minute information on bacon has been distressingly bacon-free as of late. I blame myself*. I bring a peace offering: Bacon Flavored Vodka.
The quasar created by CERN should just now be gnawing its way through the core of the earth, giving us two weeks to live. I have already hugged my children and told my wife I love her (a couple weeks ago, I think) so I intend to spend my remaining hours on earth drinking bacon flavored vodka and clicking around on Pruane2forever.com.
*By “myself” I mean of course, “Kevin”.
**UPDATE**
Some have questioned my claim** that CERN’s quasar is a vastly more exciting version of Galactus, but what those people*** fail to take into account is that I was born in Batavia, Illinois and spent and few years near Fermilab SO I THINK I KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT EARTH DEVOURING QUASARS THAN YOU DO, OKAY MR. AND MRS. BETTY LOU EXPERT??!!****
**”some” meaning “a vast corp of leading scientists”
***”people” meaning, again, “Kevin”
****”Mr. and Mrs. Betty Lou Expert” meaning “Gary Cole”.
22 responses so far ↓
1 Olcas on Sep 10, 2008 at 10:31 am
Ah, nothing like immenient death to make you want to get totally wasted on bacony goodness.
And yes, curse you Kevin!
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2 Ariel on Sep 10, 2008 at 10:38 am
I love bacon, but I must admit to loving lemon more. I think I’ll go out on limoncello…
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3 Ariel on Sep 10, 2008 at 10:45 am
mmm. Bacon Bloody Mary…
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4 Conor Lastowka on Sep 10, 2008 at 10:53 am
If anyone is interested in the closest thing I’ve had to approximating a Bacon Beer, I recommend “The J” from the Hollister Brewing company:
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/16048/?view=beerfly&ba=barleywinefiend
Dark and a smokey flavor, with no fat filtering necessary!
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5 Smuttynose on Sep 10, 2008 at 11:00 am
What’s with this guy’s eyes? And is that Beef Jerkey sticking out of the glass?
And I think my particles are accelerating right now… no wait, it’s gas.
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Reply from Smuttynose on September 10, 2008:
Answers-
1) the eyes are a result from living in Massachusetts. I know. I lived there too. I can see REALLY WELL at night.
2) Slim Jim. Yup.
6 MST3Kelly on Sep 10, 2008 at 11:09 am
I am in awe at the wonderful simplicity of the bottle’s graphics. Appalacian fire-water should be so frilly.
If this fellow’s composed, content expression is the result of consuming this product, well- send me 10 gallons.
just kidding- he looks like a result of mingling the DNA from Charles Manson, Jello Biafra, and Conway Twitty.
I do like the Slim Jim; usually I take my bacon vodka Bloody Mary with a sprinkling of hot, scrambled egg, and a dusting of shredded cheddar cheese.
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7 Kevin Murphy on Sep 10, 2008 at 11:13 am
Well I suppose I should be less obscure in my … HEY!
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8 Courtney on Sep 10, 2008 at 11:14 am
I think every drink should have a Slim Jim garnish. Yes, I’m talking to you, the Malibu and pineapple I plan on having in about there hours.
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9 Charlie W on Sep 10, 2008 at 11:19 am
Now all we need is some bread and hotdog flavored oranges so we can make a pigs in a blanket screwdrivers.
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10 Casey on Sep 10, 2008 at 11:35 am
HA! I can see some poor dope in the morning…. awaking with a headache… a familiar smell fills his nostrils…
“Good Morning, sleepy head. Come to the table your BACON is getting cold.”
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11 andrew t on Sep 10, 2008 at 12:06 pm
And here’s the perfect way to top off your bacon vodka-based cocktail - dip the rim of the glass in Bacon Salt.
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12 RemmieBarrow on Sep 10, 2008 at 1:53 pm
If you guys are going back to basics, are you going back to the state quarter contest you were doing a while back?
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Reply from Queen Shadowrama on September 10, 2008:
I was just about to mention this, but you beat me to it! I mean, if we’re gonna all be dead in two weeks, it would be nice to have that little loose end tied up.
Reply from Conor Lastowka on September 10, 2008:
You make a good point. Let’s dust that thing off.
Reply from Smuttynose on September 11, 2008:
All those posts from suzanne, and now Conor says let’s get back to it? Somehow, it seems cruel…
Reply from Danni on September 11, 2008:
I was just thinking the same thing…
13 Mr. Slick on Sep 10, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Leave it to the British to get us all killed.
Well as we Irish say, Drink Up! and what better way but with the great taste of bacon to ease your transition into the afterlife.
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Reply from Tim on September 10, 2008:
I thought that was supposed to read, “As we Irish say, ‘(unintelligible slurring)’!” Right?
Reply from Mr. Slick on September 11, 2008:
Well sure if I was sober I could wite like that
14 Ben on Sep 11, 2008 at 4:35 am
Sounds perfect for Jethro Bodine as a “Double Naught” agent: “Bacon vodka martini…shaken, not stirred.” Cue the toothless, shoeless Bond girl…oh wait, Denise Richards was already in a Bond movie…
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15 Spookette on Sep 11, 2008 at 5:57 am
Bacon-flavored vodka? Well, now I’ve seen everything.
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