The RiffTrax Blog header image 1

Joey Pants Birthday Contest winner announced!

September 21st, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 13 Comments


It’s been a fantastic Joey Pants Birthday Week here at the Corbett household! We exchanged Joey Pants presents, danced around our Joey Pants tree, drank, feasted, cried a little for days of Joey Pants gone by, and sang many a song of… Joey Pants. (And one about Tony Danza, but that didn’t go over well AT ALL. Wow, man.)

I hope your Joey Pants Celebration Week was as joyous as ours, and I’m happy to announce that the winner of our Joey Pants Birthday Contest is (to quote KITT):


…for this rhymed paean to Our Hero:

“Joey pants after completing the mile; four minutes once again.
Joey acts. Nobody greater. Hearts soar. Men weep. Awards certain.
Joey garners some firewood. The orphans will be warm tonight.
Joey fights for liberty, and gives the terrorists a fright.
Joey cooks a meal; new recipe; the flavour’s heaven sent.
Joey would win but doesn’t want to stand for President.
Joey takes to bed ten beautiful women. Needs sixteen more.
Joey trousers corporate money, and gives it to the poor.
Joey counters corruption, crime, race hatred and the credit mess.
Joey Pants each day wakes up, basking in his splendidness.”

But “HEY!” * you say. “That didn’t use the requisite five Joey Pants movie titles, as the very rules specifically specificed!”

Ah, but here is where our friend Michael truly picked up his points for style. Please click this link he provided:


Well done, Michael! You may claim the free Rifftrax of your choice by emailing erik(at)RIFFTRAX.COM. Subject line (must be EXACT, to the tiniest bit of punctuation and spacing!): “Celebrating Joey Pants is more important than anything or anyone, OK Erik?…Contest.”

Now let’s keep Joey Pants’ birthday in our hearts, all year ’round!


(* You might actually have said “COW!” Just speculation on my part.)

Tags: RiffTrax

13 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Avy on Sep 21, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    O_O That cleverness far exceeds my -32 IQ. >_>”

    Well deserved, Michael! :D Enjoy your RiffTrax!!!

  • 2 Charlie W on Sep 21, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    congrats Michael. You’ve more than earned that free Rifftrax.

  • 3 Ninjew on Sep 21, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    Dude, you deserve at least TWO free RiffTrax for all that cleverness and style.

  • 4 RemmieBarrow on Sep 21, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    One quick question, Bill. What flavor of cake is that (besides the plastic flavor from those little plastic toys imbedded in that cake) Or, is the cake just a lie?

  • 5 Bill Corbett on Sep 21, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    The flavor of the cake: Essence of Superhero.

    (Any theories on what the Hulk is doing, there?)

  • 6 ms. chii on Sep 21, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    dude. awesomeness for cleverness! I would have never seen that coming……

    Showing off his strength despite being a freakishly strong green man?

    plus it matches the cake coloring. hah!

  • 7 Michael on Sep 22, 2008 at 12:42 am

    Excellent. Thanks Bill! On the back of this success, I’ve just been commissioned by the Joey Pants Foundation to write an epic poem shaped like Joey’s face. Keep an eye on the bookshops in January.

  • 8 Fifty "Percent" Kreiger on Sep 22, 2008 at 4:37 am

    No cake for me, Spidey put his personal cherries on top!

  • 9 Onil on Sep 22, 2008 at 10:04 am

    Re: Any theories on what the Hulk is doing, there?

    The Hulk is about to make a snowman made of yummy sweet icing.

  • 10 Nanobots on Sep 22, 2008 at 11:56 am

    I’m glad I didn’t try to compete on this contest. I never would have had a chance against that entry. Not even honorable mention…

  • 11 Nanobots on Sep 22, 2008 at 11:57 am

    He’s thanking the god of Pants that he owns the kind of pants which expand 1200% when he goes into Hulk mode.

  • 12 Barry on Sep 22, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    I was wondering why I suddenly exclaimed, “COW!” today. I wasn’t even surfing the Intertubes at the time.

  • 13 Brian O. on Sep 23, 2008 at 9:06 pm

    And Joey Pants bless us, one and all.