It’s been a fantastic Joey Pants Birthday Week here at the Corbett household! We exchanged Joey Pants presents, danced around our Joey Pants tree, drank, feasted, cried a little for days of Joey Pants gone by, and sang many a song of… Joey Pants. (And one about Tony Danza, but that didn’t go over well AT ALL. Wow, man.)
…for this rhymed paean to Our Hero:
“Joey pants after completing the mile; four minutes once again.
Joey acts. Nobody greater. Hearts soar. Men weep. Awards certain.
Joey garners some firewood. The orphans will be warm tonight.
Joey fights for liberty, and gives the terrorists a fright.
Joey cooks a meal; new recipe; the flavour’s heaven sent.
Joey would win but doesn’t want to stand for President.
Joey takes to bed ten beautiful women. Needs sixteen more.
Joey trousers corporate money, and gives it to the poor.
Joey counters corruption, crime, race hatred and the credit mess.
Joey Pants each day wakes up, basking in his splendidness.”
But “HEY!” * you say. “That didn’t use the requisite five Joey Pants movie titles, as the very rules specifically specificed!”
Ah, but here is where our friend Michael truly picked up his points for style. Please click this link he provided:
Well done, Michael! You may claim the free Rifftrax of your choice by emailing erik(at)RIFFTRAX.COM. Subject line (must be EXACT, to the tiniest bit of punctuation and spacing!): “Celebrating Joey Pants is more important than anything or anyone, OK Erik?…Contest.”
Now let’s keep Joey Pants’ birthday in our hearts, all year ’round!
(* You might actually have said “COW!” Just speculation on my part.)