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“I WILL eat your hand, Mommy.”

September 22nd, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 31 Comments

Remember the Old Days, when little kids were all intense-looking homicidal maniacs?

creepy little girl

Now you may say it was a bad thing that kids were all intense-looking homicidal maniacs Back Then. But how do you think we beat the damned Russians?!?!

*****

UPDATE: In comments below, Katie M. reminds us where we’ve seen this little girl before:


The BAD SEED Trailer
by NilbogLAND

Tags: RiffTrax

31 responses so far ↓

  • 1 karen on Sep 22, 2008 at 9:10 am

    perject for mr. james lileks. very skeery kid. looks like she hasnt eaten for DAYS.

  • 2 Glyn on Sep 22, 2008 at 9:26 am

    Didn’t this kid grow up to star in “Satan’s Cheerleaders” with our old friend John Ireland?

  • 3 Clint on Sep 22, 2008 at 9:38 am

    Fresh squirrel guts on white bread?? Mom, I love you!!

  • 4 Bob M. on Sep 22, 2008 at 9:39 am

    It is true, we won the cold war with cold, creepy jelly oogling. It’s a fact. I looked it up on the Wikipaedia thing.

    Oh, and that’s not bread, it’s actually .5-inch thick slabs of CELLOPHANE. And it is not jelly but the ground up remains of our enemies, mixed with some lovely seasonal, artisinal Rhine Valley goat cheese, safron, and smoked sea salt from Japan.

    Enriched, indeed!

  • 5 Smuttynose on Sep 22, 2008 at 9:52 am

    Actually you have to wonder about what was going through the mind of the artist who painted this.

  • 6 Katie M. on Sep 22, 2008 at 9:54 am

    Shoot, I thought that was screenshot from “The Bad Seed”…

  • 7 Darth Chimay on Sep 22, 2008 at 10:04 am

    That’s not jam. That is the blood of a thousand dead pinko commie hippies! Zod bless America!

  • 8 Onil on Sep 22, 2008 at 10:14 am

    She’s Claudia from Interview With the Vampire. Check out the glass of blood next to the sammich.

  • 9 James Shearhart on Sep 22, 2008 at 11:22 am

    Anytime someone grouses about television rotting the brains of Today’s Youth, just show them this picture – *this* is what the Children of Yesteryear were like before they were getting their heads irradiated by Howdy Doody in glorious black-and-white….

    Technology is your Friend. Questionable jam sammiches made by a well-manicured Thing are not….

  • 10 ERINBOTELHO on Sep 22, 2008 at 11:55 am

    Yum Mommy! Make sure you put lots and lots of blood jam on there!

  • 11 ERINBOTELHO on Sep 22, 2008 at 11:59 am

    BTW, “The Bad Seed” is one of coolest movies ever made!!!! RAWK ON homicidal maniacs!!!

  • 12 RemmieBarrow on Sep 22, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    Creepy children are the backbone of our country.

  • 13 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Sep 22, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    Bill,
    Better dead than Red with the better spread for bread!

  • 14 Rob T Firefly on Sep 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    Another delightful painting by Norman Rockbad.

  • 15 Butterbeard on Sep 22, 2008 at 2:32 pm

    It would be better with some specialty bread.

  • 16 MST3Kelly on Sep 22, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    and if you don’t spread the right flavor of jam on her fresh white bread, this little girl’s eyes begin to glow and make you- hurt- yourself—

  • 17 MST3Kelly on Sep 22, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    and if you don’t spread the right flavor of jam on her fresh white bread, this little girl’s eyes begin to glow and make you- hurt- yourself—

  • 18 MST3Kelly on Sep 22, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    oh no- she knows I told- really I didn’t mean- I-

  • 19 Hugh on Sep 22, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    “Rockhell,” isn’t it?

  • 20 Auntie Maim on Sep 23, 2008 at 5:28 am

    Kelly? Kelly??? Kelly… NO!! PUT THAT–NOOOOOOOoooo…

  • 21 MST3Kelly on Sep 23, 2008 at 6:23 am

    wha happa? oh thank god the kid’s gone. huh. the walls are spattered with red stuff. oh, yeah, the jam. it- it is jam— isn’t it?

    [scream]

  • 22 NavarezElectro on Sep 23, 2008 at 6:27 am

    And here is a picture of our little blonde girl’s friends…

    http://www.aintitcool.com/image/PDVD_019.jpg

  • 23 Invisible Cracker Mom on Sep 23, 2008 at 6:37 am

    [chomp chew crinkle crinkle]

    Oh- I shoulda taken the wrapper off first-

  • 24 Smuttynose on Sep 23, 2008 at 7:42 am

    What you have there then, is a specialty bread.

  • 25 Mystok on Sep 23, 2008 at 8:28 am

    And she grew up to be governor of Alaska. I know, it was a cheap shot, but no one else was doing it.

  • 26 Mr. Slick on Sep 23, 2008 at 9:08 am

    Gollum mommy Gollum!

  • 27 Nanobots on Sep 23, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Not much of a surprise that these were the kids who grew up and liked Alice Cooper…

    Didn’t he have a famous song, “I love the Bread”?

  • 28 BEMaven on Sep 23, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    Well, it serves Mom right if she feeds her little girl a bread whose key ingredient is Cellophane.

    Takes me back to the days when my school lunch consisted of bologna between two slices of construction paper.

  • 29 chrismartindeed on Sep 23, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    I would guess a heady dose of brown heroin.

  • 30 Ben on Sep 24, 2008 at 6:39 am

    Yum…dead hitchhiker marrow makes for good spreadin’ on bread.

  • 31 Libby on Sep 26, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    I know they warned you not to reveal it, but what is the harrowing climax?