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Song Fu – This time to teh death1…

September 26th, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 20 Comments

…Or if you prefer “To the Death!” (I certainly prefer it as it is, you know, correct.)songfu 1 2 3

As far as this Song Fu competition is concerned, we must – MUST – defeat, destroy, humiliate, annihilate, dessicate, husk, and then grind our opponents into a fine powder, refine them and use them as a filler for livestock feed, or as a cheap alternative to nitrogen sources for soil fortification! MUST, do you hear me!?* You can do your part to help us turn them into livestock feed by going here and voting for us! It doesn’t matter whether we’re better, or they’re better – that’s all quibbling: the point is, vote for us and the price of livestock feed will (temporarily) go down.

*Actually, we’re very fond of our competition and think they’re very talented and funny.**

**We keep them off guard by alternating between threats, hostility and praise. They don’t know whether to #$*& or wind their wristwatches.

Tags: RiffTrax

20 responses so far ↓

  • 1 justhesh on Sep 26, 2008 at 10:57 pm

    Perfect, Mike. You guys captured the essence perfectly! Great job yet again.

    Did you hear that Jason Morris tune? Surprisingly fantastic instrunmentation coming from the challenger side of the fight.

  • 2 Karen Han on Sep 26, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    as if there was a doubt they would WIN!!!

  • 3 Robyn on Sep 26, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    Actually, I prefer “To the pain!”

  • 4 justhesh on Sep 27, 2008 at 12:54 am

    I just noticed the part of the title that reads, “teh death1…”

    No matter which you prefer, the acknowledgment of its existence (even for the purpose of mockery) means you’re fully one of us internet weirdo nerds.

    Give the misses my condolences.

  • 5 Yanni on Sep 27, 2008 at 4:47 am

    You’ve got my vote! The RiffTones ‘08!

  • 6 doggans on Sep 27, 2008 at 5:53 am

    So, you know how a bunch of us have been begging for an East Coast Plan 9 live show?

    Could we combine that with a live RiffTones concert? Because that would be awesome.

  • 7 James Shearhart on Sep 27, 2008 at 5:58 am


    Must needs a video. Like Kevin frolicking inna field of daisies. Stripped to the waist. In slow-mo. And over-exposure sunlight making lens flairs in his hair. ‘Cause love, love pads the film.

    I am not mad.

  • 8 Edgewriter on Sep 27, 2008 at 7:56 am

    Well Gall-durn, that was High-larious. You-uns are them Song-fu masters.

  • 9 Tv Miller on Sep 27, 2008 at 7:57 am

    This one was without question several times better than P&S. I dare say the previous one I betrayed the Rifftones but I feel much better this week. Now let me leather up here by saying…yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaa!!! Get my spoons!

  • 10 Kyle from Maine on Sep 27, 2008 at 8:01 am

    You get my vote just for mentioning Portland, ME. And the rest of the song is good too. :)

  • 11 mathey on Sep 27, 2008 at 9:12 am

    Paul Schrader tells a story about writing “Taxi Driver” where some creepy loner in the Travis Bickle vein appeared one day to ask how he’d known so much about him.

    You’ll be horrified to find that I almost felt the same way after listening to the ballad you guys put together. Luckily, my D&D dice are kept in a Ziploc bag, not a leather one. That’d just be ridiculous.

  • 12 Spookette on Sep 27, 2008 at 11:02 am

    That’s….that’s beautiful.

  • 13 Kevin Murphy on Sep 27, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    That’s really a nice thought… would you excuse me for a second?
    (backs away slowly, leaves room; sound of car door slamming, tires squealing).

  • 14 Ryan on Sep 27, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    Awesome song! Very funny and well sung. I loved the jabs at what you must see a lot of at Comic Con (I’m suprised that didn’t make it in the lyrics).

    Oh, an $@&* you, Todd.

  • 15 Queen Shadowrama on Sep 27, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Best one yet guys. I gotta say, it was really nice to hear Mike take center stage in this one for a bit!

    You’re wiping the floor with your opponents right now. You’ll have your livestock feed in no time!

  • 16 TeeJay on Sep 27, 2008 at 4:38 pm


    When is the CD coming out? :-)

  • 17 Carolyn on Sep 27, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    We have two MN contestants in this competition. Run @ The Dog and the RiffTones. You both are awesome!

  • 18 Nanobots on Sep 28, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Rifftone fans are going to be sad once this Song Fu competition is over. I think any future 3-riffer rifftrax should include a movie-related theme song from the Rifftones.

  • 19 Eeliza on Sep 28, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    Okay, can’t listen to these at work. The clerk on the other side of the window is leaning in trying to determine why I have my head down on the desk and am silently laughing/crying/drooling just a little bit. “His mom’s friends won’t play bridge there anymore”…BRILLIANT!!

  • 20 Erik at RiffTrax on Oct 4, 2008 at 11:29 pm

    THIS JUST IN: The RiffTones are winners on the Masters side of the SONG FU contest!!!!