In the grand tradition of this diary asking “Why?,” I pose another timely philosophical question:
Best answer = free Rifftrax of your choice.
50 words or fewer, please. Mention Kid Rock at your own peril.
Deadline: Saturday, October 11 at 11:59:59 EST.
Godspeed.
140 responses so far ↓
1 Charlie W on Oct 8, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Thousand Islands or Honey Death?
2 Julia on Oct 8, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Answer: http://brightkite.com/objects/041cc7fce526822bfd9e177737e1956cc66ed27c
3 Matt F on Oct 8, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Salad? Well, maybe.
Only if it has bacon.
Bacon, sweet bacon.
4 Dr. Puppykicker on Oct 8, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Q: Salad?
A: Salad!
5 Overactor on Oct 8, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Q: Salad?
A: no, thanks. I’m on a diet!
6 fan_of_homer on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:01 pm
On my plate, I see 1lb of ham, 2 lbs of turkey, 2 cups of shredded cheese, 3 boiled eggs, sour cream and salsa. But wait, there are 2 pieces of lettuce and 3 croutons.
Salad?
Let’s ask Joey Pants
7 Heather on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Dammit, she won already!
8 RemmieBarrow on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:13 pm
As in Teddy Salad, the master of disguise super spy from the Monty Python episode “Mr. Nuetron”?
9 Michael Corley on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:13 pm
“Caesar made the salad!”
“Didn’t we stab Caesar?”
“Yes, I believe we did.”
“Quite a lot, actually.”
“Still, great salad!”
10 Erichw5 on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Well if you can’t tell it’s salad i can’t help you.
11 YeahItsPolitical GetOverIt on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:33 pm
“Salad?! Ha!! I don’t think so! And save your semantics for the semantics party! I’m so dang tired of hearing, ‘There’s a fine line between lettuce and salad.’ Either you bring me a clutch of croutons, some cucumber, and a nice cherry tomato or so help me…”
“Yes Senator McCain.”
12 Scooter on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:37 pm
no, soup. (for you!)
I’m surprised no one has said that already.
13 Heather on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:40 pm
No, no, NO! Didn’t you pay attention in finishing school at all?! THAT’S your salad fork, THAT’S your tuning fork, and THAT’S Grand Forks, North Dakota.
THIS is your Runcible Spoon. There are many like it, but this one is yours.
14 Enron Hubbard on Oct 8, 2008 at 5:51 pm
-Salad?
-Salad *what*?
-Sal ‘ad a right nice ‘oliday in Blackpool!
Signed,
Darryl Chickens
(Author of “I’ll Have a Twist: The Story of Chubby Checker’s Rise from Street Urchin to Novelty Record Superstar)
15 OmegaRowsdower on Oct 8, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Because Cows are already beating us in Methane production, a BIG salad and a couple glasses of milk and we’ll be back on the winning team
16 Ninjew on Oct 8, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Salad?
A vegetable. Green and leafy.
Kid Rock?
A music star. Muscular and beefy.
How to choose? I must decide!
The benefits of both, be weighed.
A party with salad could cleanse my colon,
But a party with Kid Rock could get me laid…
17 Blue Raja on Oct 8, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Uh……yes…….”salad” to you too, sir!
18 Onil on Oct 8, 2008 at 6:53 pm
The Music Executive to Kid Rock right before the contract was signed: It ain’t gonna toss itself.
19 Nanobots on Oct 8, 2008 at 6:57 pm
“In the year of our lord”, for those who worship the god Sal.
20 The Expatriate on Oct 8, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Q: Salad?
A: I want to punch a horse in the face.
21 Dallas on Oct 8, 2008 at 7:20 pm
No.
22 SomeGuyRiffs on Oct 8, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Only with Bacon Bits.
23 Nanobots on Oct 8, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Sorry about the mixup. It was supposed to say “Sad, Al?”
24 To_Servo_Man on Oct 8, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Soup!
25 Karen Han on Oct 8, 2008 at 7:55 pm
is it still a salad if you have bacon bits, and kid rock eating the salad overloaded so much that all the salad parts are no where to be seen?
26 Anthony on Oct 8, 2008 at 8:17 pm
The salad must consist of:
Two parts lettuce
Two whole sliced fresh tomatoes
Enough bacon bits (real bacon, not imitation) to gag a mule deer
Two whole sliced chicken breasts, or, alternatively, steak
Drown the whole sad bastard in as much dressing as I can get onto it
If it cannot meet these requirements, then, no. No salad. In fact, I’m going to be pissed that some one would presume I would want their inferior salad. They probably add in all kinds of extra vegetables. Screw them! I want lettuce and tomato, then meat. Salad is less of a salad then. Hell, you throw in some croutons and cheese, BAM, that son of a bitch is just a disassembled, but delicious, sammich. I know I’m probably over 50 words, but winning isn’t important, it’s enlightenment about what salad can be (bad ass disassembled sandwich), versus what it all too often is (glorified rabbit food).
Oh, and if there’s choice of soup, Italian wedding soup, cress soup, or brocolli soup, lots of cheese.
27 wakachiwaka on Oct 8, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Why, yes, don’t mind if I do.
28 Jennifer Corley on Oct 8, 2008 at 8:37 pm
That’s no salad, that’s my mother-in-law!
29 Kyle from Maine on Oct 8, 2008 at 8:41 pm
S’ a lad?
No, s’ a gal.
*groan*
30 CompassRosie on Oct 8, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Nah, thanks, I’m tryin’ to quit.
Funny. I also use that line for unwanted sexual advances.
31 Nanobots on Oct 8, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Take my salad — please!
32 Mr. Slick on Oct 8, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Because someone somewhere demanded it!
Because some studio thought they could make a buck!
The sequel no one asked for to “Earth Vs Soup!” is… “Salad?”
written and soundtrack by Robert James Ritchie A.K.A Kid Rock.
Rated- DB (Don’t Bother)
33 Suzanne on Oct 8, 2008 at 10:20 pm
No, honey, that’s just Iowa.
34 Elmyra Duff on Oct 8, 2008 at 10:23 pm
I’m sorry Bill, but your side dish must be in the form of an answer.
35 Butterbeard on Oct 8, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Senator, I served with Salad: I knew Salad; Salad was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Salad.
36 Vic Arpeggio on Oct 8, 2008 at 11:18 pm
That would be a misspelling of “Slaad,” a type of fearsome creature found in the esteemed tome “The Monster Manual,” published by one E. Gary Gygax and used as reference material for 14 year old boys with polyhedral dice everywhere.
37 Anthony on Oct 8, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Heeey, I’m 23, damn it. And it’s still an awesome reference material. I’ve had the same character since I was 10, but the transitions to new editions are always a pain. I’m pretty sure 4th edition was created to give me a headache.
38 Brian O. on Oct 8, 2008 at 11:49 pm
I propose a Star Wars/Salad quote competition! For example:
That’s not a moon, that’s a salad!
You came in that salad? You’re braver than I salad.
Hmmm… It needs a little work.
39 Anthony on Oct 8, 2008 at 11:54 pm
The premise sounds fun, but, yeah, needs a bit of work.
“I hate the salad,” maybe?
40 Melman on Oct 9, 2008 at 2:59 am
I have a bad salad about this.
41 Hannah on Oct 9, 2008 at 4:38 am
You can’t win. But there are other options besides salad.
42 Hannah on Oct 9, 2008 at 4:41 am
Indeed, I have fond memories of my salad days (when I was green in judgment).
43 Yanni on Oct 9, 2008 at 4:47 am
Salad? As in lettuces, radishes, cucumber?
44 jenner on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:00 am
Toss?
45 Triangle O. Daver on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:28 am
Obi-Wan: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn’t allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did.
Luke: What is it?
Obi-Wan: Your father’s salad. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times… before the Empire.
46 Triangle O. Daver on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:31 am
This is really pretty fun.
Obi-Wan: Mos Eisley spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and salad. We must be cautious.
47 Smuttynose on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:32 am
No, just an intense feeling of ennui.
48 Smuttynose on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:33 am
Jar Jar Me so salad!
49 Fnord on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:57 am
Salad?
I hardly knew her!
50 Ben on Oct 9, 2008 at 6:16 am
Ah, welcome to the American Bistro. Our entree today is the $700 billion dollar bailout package. For dessert, we have the presidential candidate menu featuring either a turd Tiramisu or a crap cheesecake.
How would you start off?
Salad?
51 mooshakes on Oct 9, 2008 at 6:17 am
C-3PO: It’s against my programming to impersonate a salad.
52 Courtney on Oct 9, 2008 at 6:20 am
So Donnie Most and a salad are buddy cops on the lam for a crime they didn’t commit when…
Oh that’s a different thing. Dammit.
53 blablover5 on Oct 9, 2008 at 6:25 am
Salad? (the lost poem by John Donne)
Salad be not proud, though some have called thee
Healthy and tasty, for, though art not so
For those, who live off thy tasteless lettuce
Come to lust in their dream for a piece of flesh.
54 Walter on Oct 9, 2008 at 6:37 am
I find your lack of salad disturbing.
55 Walter on Oct 9, 2008 at 6:38 am
Salad? I barely know her!
56 MStrange on Oct 9, 2008 at 6:57 am
It’s shorthand for the full phrase, “Salad, won’t you?”
(Kids these days with their lolcats and shorthand phrases and hula hoops and poodle skirts…)
57 MStrange on Oct 9, 2008 at 6:58 am
PS: I thought the Star Wars thing was much more clever.
58 Smuttynose on Oct 9, 2008 at 7:17 am
Bring me a salad and the wookie.
59 Mystok on Oct 9, 2008 at 7:17 am
Salad? Salad? Where fore art thou Salad? Are thy with the forks and knives or with the croutons and dressing?
60 AWD! on Oct 9, 2008 at 7:40 am
Screw that, BACON!
61 dave-0 on Oct 9, 2008 at 7:56 am
salad? no thanks, I’ll have a beer
62 Edgewriter on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:08 am
This is always the queston my wife asks when we sit at the restaraunt. But I always reply “no” and go for an entree, preferrably one heavily buttered.
After the meal, bloated and lethargic, I usually turn to her and say “You know, I would have been okay with just bread and Salad.”
63 Enron Hubbard on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:10 am
If this is a Salad ship, where are the croutons!
64 WILDbore on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:20 am
Salad? : first one must know the history of Salad. It all began with a young French priest; Jean-Baptiste de la Salle. He experimented with mixing vegetables and/or fruits looking for flavors that melded well together. Of course this was all before he began teaching. But fast foreward 50 yrs, it begomes a popular side dish in many french cuisines and thus was named for its creator Salle-Lad (because he was young when he first made one) soon, it became popular to order a Salad, which became the slang form of Salle-lad. And now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
65 seanf on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:20 am
Dude (err, Dudess, I guess). You just stole my exact post. Right down to the “Oh, that’s a different thing, dammit” line. I don’t know how you did it, but I imagine it has something to do with a radical and dangerous advancement in nanotechnology. In any event, you crossed a line here, and not even Donnie Most will save you from the wrath of my lawyers.
So Salad, Bill? No. LAWSUIT.
66 seanf on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:23 am
And just to clarify, you stole my post WHILE IT WAS STILL IN MY BRAIN!!! I know this may pose a bit of problem for the lawsuit, but that’s what we have runaway juries for.
67 Heather on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:29 am
“Your salad is your weakness.”
“Your faith in your soup is yours!”
“Victims of the Almighty Salad, his Excellency hopes you will dine honorably, but if any of you wish to beg for an appetizer, the great Jabba the Chef will not listen to your pleas.”
68 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:32 am
Not as effective as the earlier “Got Milk?” ad campaign.
69 mooshakes on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:33 am
Lando Calrissian: Accelerate to attack speed, try and draw their fire away from the salad!
70 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:37 am
Anakin to Padmé:
“Salad? I hate salad! Especially if there’s any sand in it!”
71 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:39 am
“Salad” — a word unknown to Jabba the Hutt.
72 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:42 am
Witness the Power of this Fully Operational Death Salad.
73 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:50 am
Lando Calrissian:
I’ve just made a deal that’ll keep the Salad out of here forever…
Or for that matter, the titles of the first trilogy:
Episode IV: A new crouton
Episode V: The Salad Strikes Back
Episode VI: Return of the Bacon-Bits
74 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:00 am
Star Wars? How about “Salad Wars”? I think we could make a franchise out of it!
Darth Vadar: Luke, I am your salad!
Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!
75 Adam on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:02 am
Yes, I’m Teddy Salad. Give me another meatball, and I’ll tell you where Mr. Neutron is.
76 PUN-ISHMENT on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:03 am
Salad’s response: “Leaf me alone!”
77 kt on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:06 am
I saw Harry Potter do that on Broadway over the weekend.
78 Adam on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:26 am
Damn, I was sort of beaten. OK, I’m taking another shot at it:
Salad?
Whither salad? (Wither, salad?)
I would find my solace in your crisp freshness.
To be as a wandering child
exploring your sylvan splendor:
the carrot-orange, the tomato-red, and the green…the green…
The green?
Yes. Always the Green.
As fork parts the lips to dance with the tongue,
So I would part your verdant fronds of Romaine,
my footsteps crunching under the brown gravel of your bacon bits
(Oh, sodium! Ah, Elysium!)
And should a milky rain of dressing descend
from that most heavenly and hidden of Valleys
I would search out no shelter
but stand in your center,
drinking the creamiest of drinks.
dreaming the tangiest of dreams.
79 Adam on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:33 am
I noticed I got beat on this one, so I took a second stab at it. then the browser ate it, so I had to recreate from memory:
Salad?
Whither, salad? (Wither, salad?)
I would find my solace in your crisp freshness:
To be as a wandering child
lost, wide-eyed in the carrot-orange, the tomato-red
and the green…the green…
The green?
Yes. Always the Green.
As fork parts lips to dance with the tongue,
So I would part your verdant Romaine fronds,
my footsteps crunching the brown gravel of your bacon bits.
(Oh, sodium! Ah, Elysium!)
And should a milky rain of dressing descend
from that most heavenly and hidden of Valleys
I would seek no shelter,
but stand in your center
drinking the creamiest of drinks.
dreaming the tangiest of dreams.
80 Adam on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:34 am
I apologize if this shows up three times, but the browser seems to keep eating it every time I post it, so I’m trying one more time:
“Salad?”
Whither, salad? (Wither, salad?)
I would find my solace in your crisp freshness:
To be as a wandering child
lost, wide-eyed in the carrot-orange, the tomato-red
and the green…the green…
The green?
Yes. Always the Green.
As fork parts lips to dance with the tongue,
So I would part your verdant Romaine fronds,
my footsteps crunching the brown gravel of your bacon bits.
(Oh, sodium! Ah, Elysium!)
And should a milky rain of dressing descend
from that most heavenly and hidden of Valleys
I would seek no shelter,
but stand in your center
drinking the creamiest of drinks.
dreaming the tangiest of dreams.
81 mooshakes on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:44 am
Princess Leia Organa: This is some rescue! You came in here and you didn’t have a salad for getting out?
82 paul on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:03 am
Self-proclaimed culinary elitist, I can wax confidently–and with a certain Je ne sais quoi–about salad.
Salad is short for Satan’s Lad. Combining the seed of Kid Rock with egg from Pam Anderson and fusing them together in disharmony creates a fate worse than Beelzebub’s son: Denise Richards
83 Teaser on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:05 am
Salad?…Yes Please….Uh Waiter,didn’t you used to be the famous singer Kid Rock?
84 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:06 am
Never mind Kid Rock, go with Metallica for an answer to “salad?”:
http://www.chow.com/stories/11340
“10 Ways to Eat More Bacon”
85 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:11 am
Salad? Mine is the little sprig of parsley sitting between the two Baconators.
86 Smuttynose on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:12 am
“Yessssss, let go of your salad. It will make you stronger….”
87 Adam on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:17 am
Salad?
Whither, salad? (Wither, salad?)
I would find my solace in your crisp freshness:
To be as a wandering child
lost, wide-eyed in the carrot-orange, the tomato-red
and the green…the green…
The green?
Yes. Always the Green.
As fork parts lips to dance with the tongue,
So I would part your verdant Romaine fronds,
my footsteps crunching the brown gravel of your bacon bits.
(Oh, sodium! Ah, Elysium!)
And should a milky rain of dressing descend
from that most heavenly and hidden of Valleys
I would seek no shelter,
but stand in your center
drinking the creamiest of drinks.
dreaming the tangiest of dreams.
88 Ben on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:47 am
I actually was thinking that as I was reading down this page…
89 MST3Kelly on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:49 am
we’re gonna need a bigger bowl.
90 MST3Kelly on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:50 am
‘Salad! I thought I detected your foul stench when I was brought on board.’
91 Ben on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:51 am
I think it should be allowed to abbreviate “fore art” as we do “can not” to “can’t”
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “far’t”.
92 Ben on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:53 am
I’m tired of this motherf***ing salad on this motherf***ing plane.
93 Dames Like Her on Oct 9, 2008 at 10:55 am
“You will be thrown into the deadly Bowl of Salad, and you will have to eat it, for a thousand years…”
94 Adam on Oct 9, 2008 at 11:02 am
Shouldn’t that be “plate”?
95 NavarezElectro on Oct 9, 2008 at 11:06 am
Ben Kenobi: “Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn’t allow it.”
Luke: “What is it?”
Ben: “Your father’s Salad Shooter. Not as clumsy or as random as a chef’s knife. An elegant tool, for a more elegant era. Before the dark times. Before- Bacon.”
96 NavarezElectro on Oct 9, 2008 at 11:10 am
Sorry, Triangle O. Daver. I should’ve read the whole column first!
97 Mr. Slick on Oct 9, 2008 at 11:17 am
“Luke, there is… another… salad!”
98 Ben on Oct 9, 2008 at 11:25 am
Actually, it might be “seat tray”, but I tried to capture the brooding emotion.
99 Smuttynose on Oct 9, 2008 at 11:34 am
(Marlon Brando, in a ripped shirt, looks upward towards the second floor balcony)
SAAALLLLAAAAD!!!!!
100 Smuttynose on Oct 9, 2008 at 11:36 am
I know what your thinking. Did he put in 6 croutons or only 5? Ya know, in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. And seeing how this is a Caseser Salad, the most pungent salad in the world and could blow your tongue clean off.. you gotta ask yourself one question… do I fell hungry. Well do ya, punk?
101 MST3Kelly on Oct 9, 2008 at 11:58 am
I gots to know…
102 Triangle O. Daver on Oct 9, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Don’t sweat it, Navarez. I’ve got plenty more.
Queen Amidala: You’re a slave?
Anakin: I’m a salad and my name is Anakin.
103 gojikranz on Oct 9, 2008 at 12:42 pm
yes i know.
104 Invisible Cracker Mom on Oct 9, 2008 at 12:53 pm
“He doesn’t like salad.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t like salad, either.”
105 NavarezElectro on Oct 9, 2008 at 12:56 pm
“Kid, I’ve flown from one side of this restaurant to the other. I’ve seen a lot of strange food. But I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s one all-inclusive “bar” where you can make the ultimate salad. There’s no mystical spit-guard protecting MY lunch.”
106 Karen Han on Oct 9, 2008 at 12:58 pm
do not want salad!!! or …perhaps a bigger prize? GC from rifftrax.
107 Yanni on Oct 9, 2008 at 1:01 pm
“I have need for you on the master’s Salad Barge.”
108 Yanni on Oct 9, 2008 at 1:03 pm
“Oh, they’ve encased him in salad. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.”
109 Yanni on Oct 9, 2008 at 1:08 pm
“The Jedi are relentless; if they are not all destroyed, it will be salad without end.”
110 Enron Hubbard on Oct 9, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I have always depended on the kindness of salads.
111 Triangle O. Daver on Oct 9, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Yanni, your “they’ve encased him in salad” has got to be the funniest one so far. Great job.
112 Triangle O. Daver on Oct 9, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Luke: [as he is preparing to head to his X-Wing, he sees Han solo with packs of lettuce and getting ready to leave] So. You got your salad and you’re just leaving, then?
Han Solo: That’s right, yeah. Got some old debts I gotta pay off with this stuff.
113 Spookette on Oct 9, 2008 at 2:00 pm
“Salad? We ain’t got no salad! We don’t need no salad! I don’t have to show you any stinking salad!”
114 Enron Hubbard on Oct 9, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I can’t abide those Salads. Disgusting creatures!
115 Alexandra Lynn on Oct 9, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Q: Salad?
A: An Atrocity!
,
Q: Salad?
A: 42
, or
Q: Salad?
A: 25
116 Invisible Cracker Mom on Oct 9, 2008 at 2:24 pm
You come in here and sprinkle the place with croutons, and you squirt ranch dressing around, and lo and behold, this place is full of romaine and you are the Queen of Salad…
117 RemmieBarrow on Oct 9, 2008 at 4:22 pm
How about BACON AND CHEESE? (Perfect in a salad or by themselves, don’t you think?)
118 Guin on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Question: Salad?
Answer: Bacon’s Car
119 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:53 pm
[blazing salads]
“Salads? We don’t need no stinkin’ salads!”
120 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Hmm, not sure how that ended up a a “reply” to the previous entry…
121 ShutterBun on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Professor Don Music: “Yes, Kermit! Exactly the word I was looking for! Just listen to this:
‘Yankee Doodle stayed at home, just to sing a ballad,
Mixed fat spaghetti and mayonaise, and called it macaroni salad!’
It’s perfect!”
122 ShutterBun on Oct 9, 2008 at 5:59 pm
…and thus, the Senior Wences act was born.
123 Nanobots on Oct 9, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Raiders of the Lost Meal
“There’s a big salad in the plane, Jock”
“I hate salads, Jock, I hate ‘em”
“Salads. Why’d it have to be salads?”
“Asparagus — very dangerous. You go first!”
124 Brian O. on Oct 9, 2008 at 9:56 pm
What hath I wrought?
Ohwell…
And now witness the power of this fully armed and operational salad!
125 Brian O. on Oct 10, 2008 at 6:28 am
Of course, how could I forget:
Don’t worry Chewie, you’ll be with your family in time for Salad Day!
126 Tim on Oct 10, 2008 at 7:01 am
A salad object is in the states of matter characterized by resistance to deformation and changes of volume. Oh wait, that is a solid object
127 Invisible Cracker Mom on Oct 10, 2008 at 7:27 am
Huh. Is that the stuff under the bacon?
128 finalmonkey on Oct 10, 2008 at 10:54 am
Because if we don’t control the leaf population they will one day rise up and consume us all
129 Ra-chan on Oct 10, 2008 at 11:49 am
I want a salad
But instead I got haiku
That’s not a question!
130 Ninjew on Oct 10, 2008 at 11:58 am
Hmm… Just a tad over the 50 word limit.
131 Olcas on Oct 10, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Salad?
Salad?
Who the f%&£ is Salad?
Ah, Smokie and Gompie…
132 Eeliza on Oct 10, 2008 at 4:30 pm
If I were in space, no one could hear me making salad.
133 Enron Hubbard on Oct 10, 2008 at 4:49 pm
“Hmm… Just a tad over the 50 word limit.”
Damn, Ninjew, you’re practically President Elect and you’re gonna begrudge Adam his shot at a free Rifftrax?
And you thought our *last* president made some gaffes!
134 Enron Hubbard on Oct 10, 2008 at 5:02 pm
-You admire it.
-I admire it’s salad. It’s sense of survival, unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality
135 Brian O. on Oct 10, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Salad’s not here, man.
136 Keith H on Oct 10, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Nooo, I am your doctor, this here on my desk is ’salad’, but I don’t think it’d want to talk with you right now.
137 Amanda on Oct 11, 2008 at 12:51 pm
If even YOU are not sure what you’re making and selling to people, it may be time to seek a different kiosk cart business.
138 Jerrod on Oct 11, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Salad? No, I said “Sallah.” Bring me John Rhys-Davies!
139 G-Force on Oct 11, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Will you love me then? WILL YOU???
140 Ben on Oct 14, 2008 at 4:29 pm
S is for all the ways I season you
A is for all the ways I ate you
L is for all the ways I love you
A is for all the ways I ate you again
D is for all the ways I dress you
Ballad of the Serial Killer who ate his victims with a salad.
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