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McConaughey Regional Final!

October 21st, 2008 by Conor Lastowka · 11 Comments



Take off your shirt, and kill the old red Rooster, it’s time for the McConaughey region Final!  Follow all the action here.

alabama.gif vs hawaii.gif

For the final round of this oft-misspelled region, I finally got around to looking up the history behind the Hawaii quarter.  The man shown here towering over the Hawaiian islands is King Kamehameha I, who was most famous for comically stammering his own name whenever he saw an attractive lady, a behavior still practiced to this day on the mainland.  Needless to say, he would have remained silent in the presence of Helen Keller.  The King’s landmark social policy was a piece of legislation which guaranteed citizens protection during times of war and was called…”The Law of the Splintered Paddle.”  I firmly believe that society would be in much better shape as a whole if the Law of the Splintered Paddle still ruled the land.  In fact, a whole series of Laws of the Splintered Paddle.  Or, maybe we could just always refer to “laws” as “Laws of the Splintered Paddle”.  “Sir, your blood alcohol level is point one four, you are in violation of Law of the Splintered Paddle #413-b.  Put your pants on and come with me.”


Hawaii – Most Awesome State Quarter McConaughey Regional Winner 

 Three teams are placed in the final four, only one to go! View the complete bracket up til now right here.


Tags: RiffTrax · bracketology · currency · state quarters

11 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Smuttynose on Oct 21, 2008 at 9:55 am

    Who misspelled Monongahela?

  • 2 Auntie Maim on Oct 21, 2008 at 10:55 am

    Wait…what did Alabama do wrong? How could Helen get this far and just be tossed to the side with nary a reason. I’ve lived in Alabama, and let me tell you, Sir…I haven’t the foggiest idea how she got on that quarter.

  • 3 Krud on Oct 21, 2008 at 10:58 am

    My pulse is racing from the tension. Or is that the burrito from lunch?

  • 4 Auntie Maim on Oct 21, 2008 at 11:42 am

    Holy cow! I mean, Pig! Y’all gotta check out!

    Two words: BACON TUXEDO

  • 5 RemmieBarrow on Oct 21, 2008 at 11:51 am

    If it is the burrito, your pulse is probably pretty rapid. Probably alot more than if it was just tension.

  • 6 Melman on Oct 21, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    I just know it’s gonna be down to Alaska vs Hawaii, and I honestly don’t know who’s gonna win.

  • 7 Karen Han on Oct 21, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    anything to do with mr. mcconaughey im in! that and keanu reeves of course!

  • 8 Tv Miller on Oct 21, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Went to Vegas, did not see a betting sheet, was upset, kicked out. Met a guy on the street near a “club” and he said I could bet on these finals, so I laid up a few quids on Wis over Hawaii and Palin over whoever to end with Palin (Alaska) taking the cup.

    He then preceded to agree with me, run away and I haven’t heard from him since.

  • 9 Rowsdower on Oct 23, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    I knowthe whole guy with a spear vs. giant bear has a very ‘The Edge’ quality. The only question is who’s has the spear Alec Baldwin or Sir Anthony? If Hopkins has the lance it’s no contest.

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