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Welcome to Climax.

November 21st, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 51 Comments

800px Climax MinnesotaClimax, Minnesota, In Polk County on the North Dakota Border (not far from Cummings), was founded on August 18th, 1897 at a time when opportunity, poverty and the hope of having something of one’s own would drive adventurous people to such places.  0148 1 230 400Popular legend says the town was named for a brand of chewing tobacco, Climax Cut Plug, “The Grand Old Chew,” a favorite of baseball players at the time. But local historians rush to say that the brand simply led the founders to the power of the word itself, a word inspiring and uplifting.

darkcccIt’s a pleasant enough place, with a population of roughly 243, and home of the Sand Hill Settlement Historical Society.  The community golf course, Bentwood, has fast greens and $12 greens fees on weekdays.  So if you ever find yourself on the way to Grand Forks from the Twin Cities,  be sure to visit.

I will now open the floor to your overt and filthy innuendos.

Tags: Geography · RiffTrax · Riffer Blogs · Walleye · baseball

51 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Courtney on Nov 21, 2008 at 7:11 am

    I will refrain from any innuendos as I am a lady. A classy one who holds tiny lacy umbrellas as she drinks her tea with pinkies up. But I will say that the phrase “Climax Cut Plug” hurts me in bad places.

  • 2 Dames Like Her on Nov 21, 2008 at 7:12 am

    Shouldn’t it be called “Anti-Climax”?

  • 3 D.J. on Nov 21, 2008 at 7:15 am

    Courtney: Luckily, there are creams for such places.

  • 4 Melman on Nov 21, 2008 at 7:16 am

    In the story I’m writing, the final confrontation will now take place in a town called “Climax” and if anyone questions it I’ll just say “But it’s a real place!”

  • 5 smallerdemon on Nov 21, 2008 at 7:27 am

    “Climax Plug” sounds like some sort of code for “Cock Blocker”.

    “Stop climax pluggin’ me here, Gary!”

  • 6 Courtney on Nov 21, 2008 at 7:39 am

    Maybe it’s named for the 80s band Klymaxx and their beloved hit song “I Miss You” but the town just wasn’t “urban” enough to adopt the uber-80s spelling.

  • 7 mrbasehart on Nov 21, 2008 at 8:03 am

    Sorry Kevin, you haven’t really sold me exactly on why I should come to Climax.

  • 8 blablover5 on Nov 21, 2008 at 8:10 am

    Climax, MN should really meet up with Cumming county Nebraska.

    I bet they’d get along swimmingly.

  • 9 mrbasehart on Nov 21, 2008 at 8:14 am

    Their town slogan should be: “Climax! Where YOU end your journey.”

  • 10 mrbasehart on Nov 21, 2008 at 8:15 am

    (With hopefully more than one person, but no more than two, ’cause that’s dirty)

  • 11 Laughing Sal on Nov 21, 2008 at 8:26 am

    I’d say I really loved my visit to Climax, but I’d be faking it.

  • 12 Bigglesworth on Nov 21, 2008 at 9:24 am

    Sooooooo which came first, the Climax Plug or Bentwood?

  • 13 Chris D. on Nov 21, 2008 at 9:32 am

    Climax has nothin’ on Big Bone Lick in Kentucky!

  • 14 Enron Hubbard on Nov 21, 2008 at 9:34 am

    Henny Youngman:
    -How do you get to Climax, MN?
    -Practice, practice, practice.

    Woody Allen:
    -Climax, MN is so dirty.
    -It is if you’re doing it right.

    Signed,
    There are no stop signs in Climax, MN

  • 15 James Shearhart on Nov 21, 2008 at 9:39 am

    Because I haven’t had me coffee yet, I shall poach from Wikipedia:
    “The town briefly made national news in 2004 when school superintendent Shirley Moger refused to allow students to wear shirts bearing the town motto, “Climax – More than just a feeling.”, which may be to the reference to an orgasm. The motto was picked following a contest. Some runner-ups in that contest were “No End to Climax,” “Cling to the Culmination: Climax Forever” and “Bring a Friend to Climax.”"
    That oughta hold ‘em….

  • 16 Bob Loblaw on Nov 21, 2008 at 9:57 am

    A friend from Minnesota used to regale us with tales of Climax and its neighboring town Fertile. Apparently, one time the paper ran the headline “Fertile Man Dies in Climax.”

  • 17 Gamera on Nov 21, 2008 at 10:06 am

    Can you get to Climax via Dildo?

  • 18 Brian O. on Nov 21, 2008 at 10:20 am

    I’d rather live in Climax Minnesota, than Blueballs Tennesee.

  • 19 Laughing Sal on Nov 21, 2008 at 10:43 am

    I’ve heard tell that journey is a painful one.

  • 20 Rob T Firefly on Nov 21, 2008 at 10:53 am

    I hope to get to Climax, MN by way of Intercourse, PA.

  • 21 Tim Pawlenty on Nov 21, 2008 at 11:56 am

    Minnesota has the best town names. I see Fertile has already been mentioned. (It is only 30 miles or so from Climax.) Be sure not to forget Embarrass, Nimrod, and Pillager.

  • 22 Bill Corbett on Nov 21, 2008 at 11:58 am

    (Re your title:)

    That’s what SHE said!

    (”SHE” = the current mayor of Climax, MN., 67-year old accountant Mrs. Lucille Swoboda.*)

    (* with whom I’m having a torrid affair)

  • 23 MonkeyCheezPants on Nov 21, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    20 comments in and nobody has mentioned “The Grand Old Chew”? You people know nothing about how to get to Climax.

  • 24 Brian O. on Nov 21, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    Oh, and I know it’s off topic, but Mike and the gang absolutely NEED to know about this:

    What’s better than a turducken (a turkey stuffed with a chicken that’s been stuffed with a duck)? A Turbaconducken (Turducken wrapped in delicious BACON!)!

    http://bacontoday.com/turbaconducken-turducken-wrapped-in-bacon/

  • 25 Hugh on Nov 21, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    Climax is for lovers?

  • 26 Ben on Nov 21, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    Great. Now all I can hear in my mind is the sound of someone from Minnesota having an orgasm. “Oh, crap. Oh, crap.”

  • 27 Ninjew on Nov 21, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    After years being in Blue Ball, PA. – perhaps it’s about time I reached Climax…

  • 28 Rowsdower on Nov 21, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    Extra points for using it in a sentence

  • 29 Barry on Nov 21, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    Sorry about that. I’ll try to keep it down.

  • 30 Erik @ RiffTrax on Nov 21, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Let’s keep this going and get the comments up to 69! Woo! Spring Break!

  • 31 RemmieBarrow on Nov 21, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    Yeah, I would rather get all my shots first before going to either place.

  • 32 Brian O. on Nov 22, 2008 at 12:39 am

    Hmmm, wait, the turbaconducken is kinda orgasmic, so I guess it is on topic, especially if eaten in Climax MN.

  • 33 Darth Groucho on Nov 22, 2008 at 1:27 am

    It’s hard to say this without waggeling eyebrows and smoking a cigar, but I think there must be a Climax in every state.
    Mighigan has one, as well as Bad Axe, Hell, Purgatory, Jugville, Kalamazoo, Podunk, and Slapneck. We have North Branch which is East of West Branch and begs the question “Where’s South branch?”

  • 34 Beatnik Samurai on Nov 22, 2008 at 5:49 am

    I believe Climax is actually in Poke County.

  • 35 NavarezElectro on Nov 22, 2008 at 8:04 am

    We took some pictures of the native girls of Climax, but they weren’t developed, so we’re going back in a few months.

  • 36 Rob III on Nov 22, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    I heard Sting once drove up and stayed the whole day.

  • 37 secretidentitycrisis on Nov 22, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    The mayor of Climax should sue every book and movie ever made!

    Except for The Happening. It wouldn’t qualify.

  • 38 Hootie -Blowfish on Nov 22, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    Is this thread done, yet?

  • 39 MonkeyCheezPants on Nov 23, 2008 at 8:46 pm

    I’m hoping that it will be the continuing story of Neal Stephensons’s brilliantly named character “Hiro Protagonist”.

  • 40 Geena on Dec 1, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    We have a town here in Georgia called Cumming. Ungrammatical porn spelling FTW!

  • 41 Kyle Morgan on Apr 8, 2009 at 8:53 am

    We actually have two climaxes in Pennsylvania. You could go from Intercourse, PA to Climax, PA twice in the same journey! Of course, you’ve got to know the way.

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