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When corporate tools try to make music.

November 24th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 32 Comments

Exhibit One:

“And we’ve got Bank One… on the run
What’s in your wallet, it’s not Capital One
It’s us, so which card are you
Integrations never had a spirit so good”

Exhibit Two:

“You had always a deep strong belief
When you said test your work be probative
If your ad dear friend doesn’t sell
Then it’s far from being creative”

Well… I’m entering a monastery now. Thanks folks, it’s been fun.

Other posts by Bill Corbett

Tags: RiffTrax

32 responses so far ↓

  • 1 codaofchoice on Nov 24, 2008 at 7:09 am

    I want to type a witty comment here but I am too mortified.

    [Reply to this]

  • 2 Kim on Nov 24, 2008 at 7:25 am

    Bill I recommend the Carthusians…they’re known for their silence.

    [Reply to this]

    Reply from Anthony on November 24, 2008:

    Carmelites are cooler.

  • 3 Hugh on Nov 24, 2008 at 7:44 am

    I’m well-acquainted with the first video, but the second… I think I’m going to cry. I’m not even kidding. My eyes really want to do something right now. It’s either “cry” or “explode.” I can’t tell which, and I wouldn’t mind either.

    [Reply to this]

    Reply from Bill Corbett on November 24, 2008:

    Yeah, the first has been around a while. David Cross even covered that “song.”

  • 4 Tv Miller on Nov 24, 2008 at 7:48 am

    I’m waiting for the Prince release about the new Prilosec OTC, Seal on 3M’s new triple sided tape and Bruce Springsteen on Motel6’s ‘Keeping the Light On’ tour.

    [Reply to this]

  • 5 NanoRiffite on Nov 24, 2008 at 7:49 am

    “Then you knew how to make an ad, work of art while you were making, all of us to say the truth”

    I’m not sure I can parse that, but I think they’re trying to suggest that “advertising” has something to do with “saying the truth”. I submit this is a video from some other planet.

    [Reply to this]

  • 6 Tom on Nov 24, 2008 at 8:32 am

    But that was…I mean it was…Oh God the burning…

    [Reply to this]

  • 7 gettingideas on Nov 24, 2008 at 8:38 am

    I propose a new contest - one in which Rifftrax fans sing the praises of our dear leaders Bill, Kevin, and Mike (extra points for including Conor?) - sort of like our own video song fu.

    I must admit that it will be difficult to top lyrics like this:
    “You had always a deep strong belief
    when you said test your work be probative.”

    [Reply to this]

  • 8 SomeGuyRiffs on Nov 24, 2008 at 8:51 am

    It’s perfectly acceptable for corporations to manage employee enthusiasm by empowering them with rhythmic platitudes.

    *This comment brought to you by McDisneysoft.

    [Reply to this]

  • 9 Gamera on Nov 24, 2008 at 9:00 am

    NO

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  • 10 SomeGuyRiffs on Nov 24, 2008 at 9:14 am

    I would rather let a tarantula lay eggs in my ear than listen to that again.

    [Reply to this]

  • 11 Beatnik Samurai on Nov 24, 2008 at 9:29 am

    I’ve said many and beautiful things. Where’s my cheesy corporate serenade? Dammit.

    [Reply to this]

  • 12 James Shearhart on Nov 24, 2008 at 9:54 am

    Bill is just testing the waters for the possible response to a jingl-y RiffTrax commercial to be played during the Super Bowl. Not on the same channel as the Super Bowl, of course.

    Heh heh, yes, of course I stole that joke from Futurama. Shut up.

    [Reply to this]

  • 13 Dames Like Her on Nov 24, 2008 at 10:18 am

    Bill, you owe me a new keyboard. Mine is now clogged with an unnamed, upper-digestive tract substance.

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  • 14 NavarezElectro on Nov 24, 2008 at 10:30 am

    All I want to feel is the gratifying thud of my fists, deep into the bank tool’s cubicle gut, accompanied by the sound of Hollywood Meat Slammers.

    As for the second video, I will now engage in my Two Minutes Hate.
    Though I finally understand: for I love the Adman.

    [Reply to this]

    Reply from Spooky Chick on November 24, 2008:

    I think you meant “THE Adman”.

    There’s a difference.

  • 15 Ben on Nov 24, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Elvis has burned down the building.

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  • 16 RM on Nov 24, 2008 at 11:30 am

    http://video.aol.com/video-detail/we-built-this-starbucks/3180075894

    [Reply to this]

  • 17 RemmieBarrow on Nov 24, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Oh man, and I thought the economic situation we are in right now was bad enough…THIS IS JUST GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE!

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  • 18 WILDbore on Nov 24, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    #1. If this is what bankers were doing, no wonder they needed bail outs…and its funny to see bono with his hair short, and the edge is really starting to show his age…
    #2. im speechless…”amateur effort” doesnt begin to describe it. it sounds like Maurice Chevalier and Renee Fleming in an arguement about who loves Ogilvy more

    [Reply to this]

  • 19 Joe Lawler on Nov 24, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    Bill, this isn’t related, but you need to try this:

    http://bacontoday.com/turbaconducken-turducken-wrapped-in-bacon/

    [Reply to this]

  • 20 Smiley on Nov 24, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Wow. This brings brown-nosing to a whole new level.

    [Reply to this]

  • 21 Clint on Nov 24, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    I work in hospitality AV, and my job is to help corporate airheads make these things a reality.

    Rifftrax, can I please have a job?

    [Reply to this]

  • 22 Darth Chimay on Nov 24, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    You should hear the song at a company a friend of mine works for…

    Deutschland, Deutschland über alles,
    Über alles in der Welt,
    Wenn es stets zu Schutz und Trutze
    Brüderlich zusammenhält.
    Von der Maas bis an die Memel,
    Von der Etsch bis an den Belt.
    Deutschland, Deutschland über alles,
    Über alles in der Welt.

    Die Fahne hoch! Die Reihen fest geschlossen!
    SA marschiert mit ruhig festem Schritt.
    Kameraden, die Rotfront und Reaktion erschossen,
    Marschieren im Geist in unseren Reihen mit.

    They have to wear these really strange uniforms also… and walk funny…

    [Reply to this]

  • 23 Dames Like Her on Nov 25, 2008 at 4:20 am

    Is the CEO a guy named “Mr. Hilter”?

    [Reply to this]

    Reply from Darth Chimay on November 25, 2008:

    Haha… no, but I can see why you’d think that. No, his name was Goebbels.

  • 24 Nick Fechter on Nov 25, 2008 at 8:51 am

    (Bono sits down to eat a relaxing dinner with his wife after going through a busy day as a rockstar, then suddenly he feels a sharp pain in his heart and falls out of his chair.)

    Ali Hewson: Dear God Bono! What’s wrong!? Are you hurt!?

    Bono: I….felt a disturbance…..as if two fat idiots sang a beautiful song…..and ruined it utterly.

    [Reply to this]

  • 25 guy on Nov 25, 2008 at 10:01 am

    the hadron collider rap seems to go with this too.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j50ZssEojtM

    [Reply to this]

    Reply from Nick Fechter on November 25, 2008:

    Speaking of rap-related videos, I just found the perfect example of how screwed America’s economy is:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWhzs7VLibE

    If this doesn’t accuratley describe the current crisis, then I don’t know what does.

  • 26 R.A. Roth on Nov 26, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    I’d rather eat a Waldorf salad.

    Randy

    [Reply to this]

    Reply from Nick Fechter on November 27, 2008:

    I’d rather make a Waldorf salad for those guys and make Bono feed it to them.

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