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A Truckload of Respite, Anyone?

November 26th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 99 Comments

James Bond

I’m preparing this weekend to see the latest Bond film, Quantum of Solace, at my local googleplex.*  And I’m a little concerned that I may not take away from it any measurable quantity of comfort which would aid me in a time of duress.  However, I’m certain that there are other Quantities of other Entities that I might bring home from the experience:

  • A Modicum of Heartburn
  •  A Shipping Container of Mirth
  • A Portion of Befuddlement
  • A Mote of Chagrin

Of course I need your help, and invite you to submit your own Measurable Amounts of Physical, Mental and/or Emotive States.  The most interesting Amount of Something will receive a free Rifftrax.

*I didn’t go during opening week because I never go to anything during opening week; I am not a performing monkey.

Tags: Creepitometry · Events · In the Media · Kevin · RiffTrax · Riffer Blogs · Rogenomics · Trends

99 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Ken Plume on Nov 26, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    A Smidgen of Bitterness

  • 2 Enron Hubbard on Nov 26, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    A Schtickel of Schadenfreude

  • 3 Ninjew on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    A Gross of Disappointment.

  • 4 Ninjew on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    A Case of Mental Anguish

  • 5 Chris D. on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    A Morsel of Credence?

  • 6 Ninjew on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    A Fathom of Hope

  • 7 Ninjew on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    A Magnitude of Pain

  • 8 Ninjew on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    An Ounce of Self Respect

  • 9 Tv Miller on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    A slighted plinth of perplexity.

    A lowly muted precursor.

    An ain’t brothered Olivia Newton John.

  • 10 Tv Miller on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    A goaded periphery inquiry…is Bond wearing a Mickey Mouse watch?!

  • 11 Heather on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    A Metric Assload of Homework (from my engineering undergrad years)

    An Angstrom of Angst

    A Curie of Cured Holiday Meats

    A Siemens of… ahem. Er. Nevermind.

    A Henry of Regard

  • 12 secretidentitycrisis on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    A Volume of Enchantment?

    A Bucket of Despair?

    A handful of arousal?

  • 13 euphoriafish on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    A spark of euphoria!

  • 14 euphoriafish on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    A whiff of success!

  • 15 euphoriafish on Nov 26, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    A dearth of diversion!

  • 16 NanoRiffite on Nov 26, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    A stone of murder. (stone -> the english measure of weight)

    A thimble of thanks. (or possibly “thanksbacon”)

    A barrel of bi-polar.

    A light-year of lethergy.

    An Atomic-Mass-Unit of joy.

    A StarWarsEpisode1 of exasperation.

  • 17 Laura on Nov 26, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    A pint of I Haven’t Seen It yet
    with
    A pound of I Really Don’t Want To See It
    with
    Another pound of It’s A Sequel And Bond Sequels Are Never Fun

  • 18 R.A. Roth on Nov 26, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    A Dollop of Polyps

    A Dash of Moustache

    An Angstrom of Ang Lee

    A Four-Ounce Portion of Abortion

    A Tiny Slice of Three-Blind Mice

    Randy

  • 19 Michael T Bradley on Nov 26, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    A British Thermal Unit of l’esprit d’escalair …
    A scintilla of sin-titillation…
    A dropping of the doldrums…
    A pride of pride…

  • 20 Cibernetico 2 on Nov 26, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    a dram of diarrhea

    a hogshead of rage

    a furlong of tenacity

    a rood of randiness

  • 21 Racer™ on Nov 26, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    A Nanoacre of Kleptomania

    A Microfortnight of Narcissism

    A Nibble of Psychosurgery

    A Galactic Year of Stigmata

    Skål!

  • 22 euphoriafish on Nov 26, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    A caliber of incontinence.

  • 23 Hugh on Nov 26, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    A bushel of sepulchritude.

  • 24 RoninFox on Nov 26, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    An AU* of malaise

    *astronomical unit

  • 25 Grorx on Nov 26, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    A Swayze of Pain (It don’t hurt!)

  • 26 allmydemos on Nov 26, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    A Boat of Fail.

  • 27 NanoRiffite on Nov 26, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    An envelope of ennui

  • 28 Ninjew on Nov 26, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    And of course, what this movie really is:

    A Gross In Dignity

  • 29 Dames Like Her on Nov 26, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    Attempted in the old school Bond parlance:

    One Metric Ton of Mayhem
    A Bale of Bullets
    The Dalton of Dames
    ThunderBushel
    A Tithing of Trauma
    GoldColon [filmed in El Salvadore]
    Milliards of Murder
    Dr. Noy [who kills by sound]

  • 30 Dames Like Her on Nov 26, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    Apologies- I meant “El Salvador.” I’ll take a saros of spelling classes.

  • 31 norgavue on Nov 26, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    A smidge of smug

  • 32 Junker on Nov 26, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    Say what you like about the new bond movie, but you’ve gotta admire Ian Flemming’s handiwork. The modern thriller authors that match his penmenship are few and far between.

    ‘You’re not married, but I think it’s the same with all relationships between a man and a woman. They can survive anything so long as some kind of basic humanity exists between the two people. When all kindness has gone, when one person obviously and sincerly doesn’t care if the other is alive or dead, then it’s just no good…Incurable disease, blindness, disaster-all these can be overcome. But never the death of common humanity in one of the partners. I’ve thought about this and I’ve invented a rather high-sounding title for this basic factor in human relations. I have called it the Law of the Quantum of Solace.’

    Oh, and a Polmus of Perplexity

  • 33 Bill Corbett on Nov 26, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    A Pantload of Pulchritude.

    (Not entering contest. Keep your nasty Rifftraxes, Hobbitses.)

  • 34 Eddie the Colton on Nov 26, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    A Knapsack of Nebulosity.

  • 35 Setsuled on Nov 26, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    A Skillet of Peas

    A Ryo of Repose

    A Cave of Echoes

    A Grain of Rice (irrelevant you say? You have much to learn)

  • 36 OmegaRowsdower on Nov 26, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    This one blows Casino Royale outta the water IMO

  • 37 OmegaRowsdower on Nov 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    I’ll contribute a hallowed-out-turtle shell of pessimistic optimism

  • 38 BWJ on Nov 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    I finally understood the title today, after having 24-cubes of difficulty saying it out for weeks. It had been giving me flocks of questions about how they could pick a name with with yards of unpronouncability, but now I think it has donkeysful of silent emotion. Still hard to pronounce. At least there should be a murder of ka-booms.

    Thanks for the fun! You guys have been bringing me hectares of ha-has since I discovered MST3K a single-serving pudding cup of decades ago!

  • 39 Heather on Nov 26, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    A Mole of Malaise

    A Skein of Sleep

    A Lumen of Love (so you can shine it!)

    A Priori of Baseless Assertion

    A Posteriori of Anal-retentiveness

  • 40 Scarlett on Nov 26, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    A Ream of Pretentiousness

    A League of Laziness

    A Magnum of Misanthropy

    A Bale of Dysfunction

  • 41 Bryan McGuckin on Nov 26, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    A Satchel of Sarcasm

  • 42 euphoriafish on Nov 26, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    A Pouch Full of Penis Envy

  • 43 euphoriafish on Nov 26, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    An Ion of Ineptitude

  • 44 euphoriafish on Nov 26, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    A Particle of Paranoia

  • 45 Michael T Bradley on Nov 27, 2008 at 12:25 am

    In the spirit of the town of Climax ….

    A unit of desire
    A wad of ecstasy
    A package of lust
    A Hey-O! of Hey-O!

  • 46 Barry on Nov 27, 2008 at 12:27 am

    A Quantity of Something

    A Quandary of Conundrums

    A Quashing of Motions

    Slap Hardbody

    Big McLargehuge

  • 47 gojira86 on Nov 27, 2008 at 1:07 am

    A Rem of Wrath

    A Joule of Jolly

    A Rick of Repugnance

  • 48 gojira86 on Nov 27, 2008 at 1:09 am

    No its his secret bow tie that double as his flotation device in the event of a crash. It also makes a mean martini.

  • 49 Gurdygroan on Nov 27, 2008 at 1:10 am

    You should at least get
    A Couple Hours of Sleep.

  • 50 G-Force on Nov 27, 2008 at 1:26 am

    A Cornucopia of brow sweat.

    or

    A shuttle craft full of suckery (in regards to the new Star Trek trailer that is with the Bond flick…)

  • 51 euphoriafish on Nov 27, 2008 at 2:13 am

    A Tidbit of Taphophobia

  • 52 karen on Nov 27, 2008 at 3:30 am

    im rather disappointed the movie industry has come out with mostly crap. nothing terribly good im dying to see (Aside from madagascar and maybe hancock)

    poo. even james bond is a dying branch! and he’s signed on for two movies. oh the horror. make it more like casino royale please…..

  • 53 Melman on Nov 27, 2008 at 4:23 am

    A gaggle of Gilbert Gottfried.

  • 54 Jon Staats on Nov 27, 2008 at 5:48 am

    a Five Dollar Footlong?

  • 55 Nick Fechter on Nov 27, 2008 at 6:42 am

    A Proverbial Powder-Keg of Pasty Pain-in-the-Asses?

  • 56 Nick Fechter on Nov 27, 2008 at 7:23 am

    I completely agree, which is why I’m looking forward to reading Kevin’s new book “Why Hollywood Sucks”

  • 57 Nick Fechter on Nov 27, 2008 at 7:39 am

    Especially with the absence of Bond women in the opening sequences….

  • 58 gettingideas on Nov 27, 2008 at 8:18 am

    My vote is for a hogshead of rage! Brilliant!

  • 59 TVGM on Nov 27, 2008 at 8:22 am

    A Volume of Turkeys

  • 60 Ninjew on Nov 27, 2008 at 8:27 am

    A Can of Whoop-Ass

  • 61 Arvenis on Nov 27, 2008 at 8:32 am

    A Scosh of Ennui

  • 62 Lucie on Nov 27, 2008 at 9:29 am

    A smidgen of succour

  • 63 RifftraxIsForever on Nov 27, 2008 at 9:34 am

    A Tall Coffee of Regret

    A Grande-Size Latte of Annoyance

    AND A HUGE, Gigantic:

    Venti-Size Hot Chocolate of Daniel Craig Smugness

  • 64 Thomas on Nov 27, 2008 at 10:52 am

    A drachma of disillusionment.

  • 65 Kyle S on Nov 27, 2008 at 11:27 am

    A Preparation of H

  • 66 euphoriafish on Nov 27, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    An Ohm of Apathy

  • 67 WILDbore on Nov 27, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    a stadium of funky

    a league of sassafras

    an orthodoron of triskaidekaphobia

    a parasang of post-haste

    a minute-of-march of chimps throwing feces

    a days journey of nilla wafers

    a garden of poison arrow frogs

    a profane mina of mock turtle soup

  • 68 Nick Fechter on Nov 27, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    By the way who drew that picture of Daniel Craig that you posted on this blog Kevin? His face looks like one of the melting clocks from Salvador Dali’s painting.

  • 69 NanoRiffite on Nov 27, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    A shaker of solitude

    A taste of relief

    A caret of superiority

    An ounce of regret

    A memento of identity

    A peck of psychosis

  • 70 NanoRiffite on Nov 27, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    What picture of Daniel Craig? That’s what Kevin looks like after he’s shaved, and if someone has invited him to a Britney Spears concert.

  • 71 Nick Fechter on Nov 27, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    BA-ZING!!! :P

  • 72 Nick Fechter on Nov 27, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    A Testament of Tubular-Boobular?

  • 73 Patrick on Nov 27, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    A monad of Weltschmertz

  • 74 KzinistZerg on Nov 27, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    Oh, my, god, I just read a book on this. It’s called “An exaltation of larks.”

    By the way, the author of that book declared that the best word for these was “terms of venery” after the old hunting numbers (like a brace of ducks).

    Some of them are legitimate, some are entertaining.

    From the book:

    A wince of dentists
    A smack of jellyfish

    From Wikipedia:

    A blast of strumpets
    A bond of secret agents
    A destruction of cats
    A drunken ship of cobblers
    A knob of toads
    A kindle of kittens
    An ostentation of peacocks
    A pandemonium of pandas
    A sault of lions
    A span of oxen
    A streak of tigers
    A wunch of bankers

    Does anyone else think a term of venery should be the next book title in the Song of Ice and Fire series?

    “A Dance of Dragons, A Smack of Jellyfish…”

  • 75 MonkeyCheezPants on Nov 27, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    I believe it was on this very site that I used the term “clutch of penises.” Does it still count if I’m plagiarizing myself?

  • 76 Gamera on Nov 27, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    A tall glass of cool

  • 77 Scooter on Nov 27, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    a margin of error?

  • 78 Laughing Sal on Nov 28, 2008 at 1:47 am

    An infinity of “I don’t think so”
    A pallet load of pretense
    A bucket of baccarat
    A conundrum of cliches
    A landfill of largesse
    A colossal clutch of CG
    An unendurable ending

  • 79 euphoriafish on Nov 28, 2008 at 4:38 am

    An apron full of bestiality:

    http://www.nakedaprons.com/gr21755.html

  • 80 Brian O. on Nov 28, 2008 at 5:47 am

    A Smidgen of Indignation?
    A Pinch of Annoyance?
    A Snickerdoodle of Rage?

  • 81 Bob on Nov 28, 2008 at 11:33 am

    A chaldron of depravity
    A barleycorn of tedium

  • 82 Ivan on Nov 28, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    A Quarter-pounder of Sausage

  • 83 Rowsdower on Nov 28, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    A Rainbow of Pain!

  • 84 Nick Fechter on Nov 28, 2008 at 6:09 pm

    A Hellish Helping of Hubris!?

  • 85 Rev Chris on Nov 28, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    thimble of suicidal contemplation

    gaggle of regret

    vacation’s-worth of adultery

    trunk of contentment

    jar of masons

    satellite of love

    bladder of fun

  • 86 Nick Fechter on Nov 29, 2008 at 10:40 am

    A Cacophony of Roger Moores choking on the belly-button piercing of a belly-dancer?

  • 87 June on Nov 30, 2008 at 5:47 am

    Like most bad-lookin’ movies… I’ll see it when they riff it!! :)

  • 88 cms on Dec 9, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    empty fried chicken bucket of lament
    (i suppose it wouldn’t be empty)
    fried chicken bucket of lament…and chicken
    maybe some hotwings…of sorrow

  • 89 cms on Dec 9, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    a flock of confusion

    a murder of antagonism
    (does that count)

  • 90 CinSpark on Feb 23, 2009 at 8:13 am

    A buttload of stinginess
    A swallow of beseech
    A tad of Do-Good-ery
    A pocketbook of ne’er-do-well

  • 91 CinSpark on Feb 23, 2009 at 8:23 am

    Ooh did anyone do a

    A Plathora of exorbitance?

    Cause if I keep listing stuff that will apply.

    A smattering of malevolence
    A Smidegen of buggery

  • 92 CinSpark on Feb 24, 2009 at 7:51 am

    To apologize for the recycling of the word Smidgeon (a fine fine word) as well as the typo involved in the repetition of the word, I humbly submit for your approval…

    A Totebag of id

    A Snort of Subterfuge

    The whole Kit and Cabootal of Pith
    and

    An Amalgam of Skepticism

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    To apologize for the recycling of the word Smidgeon (a fine fine word) as well as the typo involved in the repetition of the word, I humbly submit for your approval…
    http://www.okkanpo.com/Product/203.html

  • 94 アニメ 抱き枕 on Apr 12, 2011 at 12:19 am

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    アニメ 抱き枕:http://www.cheaptojp.com/category-47-b0.html

  • 95 RMT on Apr 12, 2011 at 12:20 am

    To apologize for the recycling of the word Smidgeon (a fine fine word) as well as the typo involved in the repetition of the word, I humbly submit for your approval…
    RMT:http://www.rmtking.jp

  • 96 RMT on Apr 12, 2011 at 12:24 am

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    FF11 RMT:http://www.rmtking.jp/ff11.html

  • 97 アニメ 抱き枕 on Apr 12, 2011 at 12:24 am

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