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For Mike and Bridget.

December 21st, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 32 Comments

In the spirit of the season, and knowing that this is a very meaningful song to you both, especially when translated into Portuguese…. I give you this gift.

Tags: RiffTrax

32 responses so far ↓

  • 1 ZB on Dec 21, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    I think this thing needs its own Special Edition Riff. Just play it on a loop for an hour and a half. I’d pay good money for some of that action.

  • 2 Mike Nelson on Dec 21, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    Bill, Bridget and I thank you. Next time I see you (I’ll try to arrange it at the grocery store) I’ll steal behind you in the frozen foods, touch you on the sleeve and thank you personally.

  • 3 Bill Corbett on Dec 21, 2008 at 5:22 pm


    I might laugh, I might scream, I might cry, I might hit you. Or any combination of the above. But in advance, I thank you for touching me on the sleeve.


  • 4 chrismartindeed on Dec 21, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    Hey! We pay you guys to talk through movies… not to touch each other.

    Do that stuff outside with the smokers.

  • 5 Nick Fechter on Dec 21, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    Since your dedicating videos to people Bill, I going to dedicate this heart-warming video to you, Mike, Kevin, and the rest of the rifftrax community:

    Merry Christmas to you all! :)

  • 6 Ryan on Dec 21, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    Well, it’s better than the clay from last year.

  • 7 Laura on Dec 21, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    Awww such a touching song.
    I give you this-

  • 8 Kim on Dec 22, 2008 at 12:56 am

    Ahh thats so sweet…in a Bill Corbett kinda way.

  • 9 BEMaven on Dec 22, 2008 at 4:25 am

    Mike, I know the best place to touch Bill.

    Er, geographically I mean. Not the other sort of…

    (Where the hell is the Undo in this blog?)

  • 10 Onil on Dec 22, 2008 at 4:57 am

    Gah! My wife absolutely loves this song. And I find that the only real retaliation whenever I have to be subjected to its “charms” is with a heaping healthy dose of The Christmas Shoes. I can’t even start with a preparatory strike of Paul McCartney’s Wonderful Christmastime. The only thing that can match it cheesy line for cheesy line is this:

  • 11 Kevin Murphy on Dec 22, 2008 at 7:23 am

    Mike, Bridget, I’d be careful. I was buying Twizzlers and a wheel of Brie at the Pink Dot on Sunset when Bill snuck up on me in the cracker aisle and grabbed my left sweatsock.

    Worse, he wouldn’t let go. I tried to get away but ended up dragging Bill through the checkout. I even bought an umbrella off the impulse rack and beat him with it, quite fiercely, but he just balled up like Shia LeBoeuf. And he was singing the words to this song, even though it was July.

    So a word to the wise. Next time you’re at Ralph’s, watch your back. And Merry Christmas.


  • 12 Nick Fechter on Dec 22, 2008 at 7:38 am

    That’s why my family shops at walmart, the homeless people there are much more gentle.

  • 13 michael on Dec 22, 2008 at 7:46 am

    “Internet, LOL, Internet”

    That was pretty sweet.

    Can you beat this, though?

  • 14 Trelvix on Dec 22, 2008 at 8:22 am

    You’ve got to push the Q-Tip in pretty far to clean this one out of the brain.

  • 15 Ben on Dec 22, 2008 at 8:47 am

    Touching people on the sleeve in the grocery store…yep, that’s how I got started…

    Inmate 74652

  • 16 Laura on Dec 22, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Yes I can!

    And for the hell of it

  • 17 Lyndsey on Dec 22, 2008 at 10:51 am

    DAMN YOU! After watching .05 seconds of this video last night, I woke up with this song in my head.

    This has got to be one of the most nauseating songs ever made.

  • 18 Nick Fechter on Dec 22, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Wow, I’m so touched that my childish antics started a youtube war on rifftrax.

    And when we really think about it, isn’t that what christmas is all about?

  • 19 Robyn on Dec 22, 2008 at 11:42 am

    Yes, thank you! I got about 1 second in, realized what it was I was listening to, and proceeded to scream and cry.

    Actually, after hearing “Christmas Shoes” a time or two on the radio early in the month, I wondered how long it would be before Christmas until I was aurally assaulted by this meaningless song. I mean, they meet in the grocery store, hang out in the parking lot, get drunk, and then nothing happens! She leaves, it rains, end of song. It’s the “My Dinner With Andre” of Christmas songs! It’s too much like real life, and Christmas is not about real life – it’s about delving so far into fantasy and holiday TV specials that you don’t recognize the crapfest your real life is!

    LOL… it’s fun to get in old-fashioned rants over meaningless stuff. Merry Christmas, Riffclowns, and a very happy 2009!

  • 20 Nick Fechter on Dec 22, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    ………I like cookies :P

  • 21 Remmie Barrow on Dec 22, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    I usually hear this song during this time of year. When I first hear it during this season, I tend to feel all sentimental and special…after that, I tend to feel around for a hammer to pound that song out of my head….IT’S AN EARWORM, MAN!!!!!

  • 22 jennifer on Dec 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    I needed a laugh today, and this did it. This, combined with the image of Bill sneaking up on people in stores, touching their sleeves. So thanks. :P

  • 23 Yoggie on Dec 22, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    Ready for a Twilight Zone moment… I was listening to the radio yesterday (12/21) evening driving down the road to the grocery store and that song came on. What is freaky is that the road in the video looks just like the one I was on.

  • 24 Janet on Dec 22, 2008 at 11:15 pm

    I was 14 years old when that song came out. I heard it everywhere throughout 1981. I was so happy that 1982 arrived, but was flooded by all the sappy songs that came in to replace Fogelbergs’. But the Fogelberg song replaced this nightmare, . I heard this one all the way up and down Interstate-5 in California throughout the 70’s when going to my grandparents house in the Bay Area. It was a 3 hour trip with the Lite FM! 3 hours of sheer torture!!!

  • 25 Ben on Dec 23, 2008 at 7:42 am

    You are most welcome. Glad to be of service. Merry Christmas.

  • 26 michael on Dec 23, 2008 at 8:27 am

    This video is what happens when you give your freshmen English class some sappy assignment and tell them to “be creative” with their presentation.


  • 27 Lucie on Dec 24, 2008 at 8:53 am

    I just wanted to say this is the first time I have heard this song and I really didn’t think it was serious – it’s the best song about getting groceries bagged I have ever heard. Anyhoo, thanks for bringing that frightening swirly imovie-esque horror into my life! Happy Christmas to all at Rifftrax :-) xx

  • 28 NanoRiffite on Dec 24, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Seems to me we could make a contest of “Same Old Riff Sign”. Some sample lines:

    Mike met an old riffer in the grocery store, the snow was
    falling christmas eve. He snuck up behind the riffer, and touched him on the sleeve.

    Bill went slug to them, and Bridget spilled her purse, and
    they laughed until they cried. Just for a moment Mike was
    back at school, and felt that old familar pain.

    The audience was heavenly, but watching the movies was hell.

  • 29 NanoRiffite on Dec 24, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    I’ll note that as Dan is signing “the years had been a friend to her, and her eyes were still as blue”, the video is showing a woman with BROWN EYES.

  • 30 NanoRiffite on Dec 24, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    (yeah, that idea needs a lot of work, but I was supposed to leave for home about five minutes ago…)

  • 31 NanoRiffite on Dec 26, 2008 at 11:17 am

    (Mike’s “old familiar pain” would have been from Bill slugging him… This implies Mike touched a lot of shirt sleeves in high school)