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All this, plus one of the best Moff Tarkins, ever!

December 27th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 69 Comments

Before that artsy fartsy music-boy John Williams came along, and RUINED THE PURITY OF IT:

(P.S.: Wooteeny!)

Tags: RiffTrax

69 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Remmie Barrow on Dec 27, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Hey…take it easy on John Williams!!…At least he is not as bad as that creepy man Danny Elfman!

  • 2 Remmie Barrow on Dec 27, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    AND I mean it!!!!…Have you ever seen Danny Elfman…He looks like one of the Children of the Corn!!!

  • 3 Merleon_C on Dec 27, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    I was disappointed at the obvious lack of alien beings from a thousand different worlds. I mean one tuskan raider and a jawa? They’re from the same freakin’ planet!

  • 4 Nick Fechter on Dec 27, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Wow, its weird watching a Star Wars movie without the thunderous “Bum-Bum-Bum-Buuuum-Buuuuuuum-bum-bum-bum-BUUUUUUUUM-buuuum-bum-bum-bum-BUUUUUUUUM-buuum-bum-bum-bum-Buuuuuuum!”

    That’s also what I like to sing when I walk through allies that are crowded with homeless people.

    Wooteeny! 8(

  • 5 Nick Fechter on Dec 27, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Which makes me reliefed that Chris Griffin killed him in the Family Guy Star Wars Special.

  • 6 wbwolf on Dec 27, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    Yeah, but it could still been Laserblast…

  • 7 Rob on Dec 27, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    It seems like the trailers can make almost any movie look good these days. Apparently, the exact opposite was true in the ’70s.

  • 8 Ninjew on Dec 27, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Hey, complain all you want about John Williams.

    At this THIS film is certified Jar-Jar FREE!

  • 9 Mr. Slick on Dec 27, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Where was the constant whining?! If Luke isn’t whining then it doesn’t feel like Star Wars to me!

  • 10 RoninFox on Dec 27, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    At least until Lucas re-edits it again in 2012.

  • 11 RoninFox on Dec 27, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    But I don’t WANNA hear Luke whine!!!

    Hope that helped.

  • 12 Simes on Dec 27, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    His Moff Tarkin was the grandest of all.

  • 13 RoninFox on Dec 27, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    This makes me want to look at my old bootleg dvds (retired from normal use once they finally put the non SE versions on DVD) to look at the trailers that got stuck on them, including the one for the first re-release and the original trailers for ESB and ROTJ with Mark Hamil disguising his voice to narrate them. Maybe that’s what got him started on the road to voice acting?

  • 14 Rob T Firefly on Dec 27, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    Somewhere, the guy who write the one soft violin chord they used for this is scratching out a new jingle for Hardee’s and wondering why he is still alive while John Williams is chilling out in his mansion, eating corn flakes from a diamond-encrusted bowl in order to be on top form for the latest round of hunting shanghaied humans for sport on his private island.

  • 15 Nick Fechter on Dec 27, 2008 at 7:54 pm

    <:O! You don’t mean!?…..

    Mike: STOP THAT!!!

  • 16 Kyle from Maine on Dec 27, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    They didn’t care too much about the trailer enticing audiences, did they?

  • 17 Brian O. on Dec 27, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    It could have been better with more BACON.

  • 18 Mario "Asteroid" Panighetti on Dec 27, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    An official riff of one of the most popular sci-fi films of all time, likely beloved by the vast majority of the community including myself, and thought by all to be off-limits for riffing?

    I fully endorse this plan.

  • 19 Mr. Slick on Dec 27, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    Ah thank you that did. Wanna go get some power converters?

  • 20 BEMaven on Dec 28, 2008 at 1:52 am

    Just try imagining it with a Bobby McFerrin soundtrack.

    I can’t because I’m wearing a medical patch.

  • 21 Ben on Dec 28, 2008 at 8:14 am

    Looking at that, it actually amazes you that Star Wars didn’t completely bomb back in 1977…

  • 22 Steve R. on Dec 28, 2008 at 8:36 am

    What do you mean? I think it looks great I mean its:

    1) An adventure unlike anything on our planet: (I love those kinds of adventures)

    2) The story of a boy, a girl, and a universe: (eg, the best type of story)

    3) A big, sprawling space saga of rebellion AND romance: (Not only does it have rebellion, it also has romance-though said romance is actually between brother and sister)

    4) A spectacle, lightyears ahead of its time: (Now who honestly couldn’t use a good spectacle, let alone one that’s lightyears ahead of its time?)

    5) An epic of heroes…and villains…and aliens from a thousand worlds: (I’ll take the heroes and the villains, but please keep Jar-Jar for yourself)

    6) A billion years in the making…STAR WARS: (Well, they say its been in the making for a billion years, so it has to be good, right?)

  • 23 Ariel on Dec 28, 2008 at 9:23 am

    Has everyone been baconized yet? The gods demand it!

  • 24 Music-chan on Dec 28, 2008 at 11:00 am

    I actually found the comments on the youtube site to be hilarious. Most of them were “that trailor sux” Oh man, internet, you sure do know how to amuse me.

  • 25 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 28, 2008 at 11:27 am

    Hey, you got Tarkin in my Moff!

  • 26 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 28, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Especially considering that, nostalgia aside, it’s as flawed, if not more so, than the oft-derided prequels.

    This, coming from someone who has watched all six movies back-to-back in one sitting.

  • 27 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 28, 2008 at 11:33 am


  • 28 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 28, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Wow, embedding is hard:

  • 29 michael on Dec 28, 2008 at 11:44 am

    So is this where St. George got the idea for the scrolling opening text? That took waaaay too long for Star Wars to finally appear.

  • 30 Eddie Colton on Dec 28, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    Remember when they made this trailer into a movie?

  • 31 Ben on Dec 28, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    If Lucas had had the guts to do these movies in order, would ANYBODY have watched anymore of these movies after “The Phantom Menace” unleashed the animated tragedy known as Jar Jar Binks?

    Honestly, I don’t see anything in your list that wasn’t already done in Star Trek or even Space:1999.

  • 32 Ben on Dec 28, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    That being said, I did go to the first showing of Star Wars at a movie theater in Reno, Nevada in 1977. 5 minutes into the movie, the film broke and there was a near riot. The movies did entertain me, but then again I also enjoyed shows like “Quark” and “Battlestar Galactica” and movies like “Galaxina”.

    There’s no accounting for taste when you are young.

  • 33 Nick Fechter on Dec 28, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    I don’t know why people hate Jar-Jar so much, I kinda’ like him……but maybe that’s because I saw Phantom Menace when I was eight.

  • 34 Scarlett on Dec 28, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    Or it could have been Space Mutiny. That was a particularly spectacular abuse of a cheap keyboard.

    Come to think of it, sounds like the same composer. And the cheap keyboard as well.

  • 35 Scarlett on Dec 28, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    Anyone else bothered by the line “a boy, a girl and a universe” that is immediately followed by that close-up of the needle on the torture droid?

  • 36 Steve R. on Dec 28, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    Hey, I liked Jar-Jar back then to! HOWEVER, have you watched the film recently? I found myself wanting to go back and time and smack the 5-year-old me in the back of the head!

    And by the way, had Lucas made the films in order, they wouldn’t have gotten to Episode 2 because of Jar-Jar!

  • 37 Brian O. on Dec 28, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    Oh, and I know it’s off topic, but if Kevin Murphy could verify something for me, like the man said in Dirty Harry, “I gots to know!”:

    About the “Stop her, she’s got my keyboard!” riff Kevin made in episode 312, Gamera Vs Guiron: Wasn’t that from the underrated Whoopie Goldberg movie “Jumping Jack Flash”?

    From the last act of the film, where Whoopie is scrambling through the office looking for a computer so she can send vital information to save the US secret agent, right?

    My rusty memory seems to recall that line being in that scene.

    If I’m right, what do I win? I couldn’t find a single reference to it on Google, and the Satellite News summary calls it “The most obscure reference ever”.

    Yes, I DO have a lot of time on my hands.

  • 38 Malithion on Dec 28, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    A billion years in the making . . . and they create a trailer with some of the worst editing I’ve ever seen.

  • 39 MSTJon on Dec 28, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    I’m not KWM, but I’ve got some helpful info. According to the ACEG, it’s actually something to to the tune of “Stop her, she’s got Mike’s keyboard.” At one point in his like a young Mike Nelson had a girl steal his keyboard. The reference was to that, something only six or so people on this planet would get. Makes you wonder how many more riffs only made sense to the writer’s immediate family.

  • 40 RoninFox on Dec 28, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    You got your Moff on my Tarkin!

    It’s Grand!

  • 41 chrismartindeed on Dec 29, 2008 at 2:28 am

    Now, there’s a interesting concept: take a short trailer and stretch it into a full length film.

    It might account for more than half the movies starring Tom Cruise.

  • 42 Brian O. on Dec 29, 2008 at 2:30 am

    Awwwww, dangit. I’m sure that line was in Jumping Jack Flash as well.

  • 43 Nick Fechter on Dec 29, 2008 at 7:21 am

    Okay okay, this trailer may not be as spectacular as other Star Wars trailers, but Star Wars doesn’t deserve to be compared to Space Mutiny…..actually nothing deserves to be compared to a movie that was so cheap that it stole space scenes from Battle Star Galactica and put them in the movie.

  • 44 Brian O. on Dec 29, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Old Moff Tarkin had a Death Star, E I E I O
    And on that Death Star he had a Princess, E I E I O
    With a peeow peeow here, a peeow peeow there, here a peeow there a peeow everywhere a peeow peeow.

    Old Moff Tarkin had a Death Star, E I E I OooOoooOo.

  • 45 Scarlett on Dec 29, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    Oh no, just comparing the music only. Space Mutiny as a movie is just a particularly spectacular abuse..of pretty much everything.

    On a side note, didn’t Lucas sue Battlestar Galactica for stealing from Star Wars? Which makes a nice little note of continuity, I guess.

  • 46 karen on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    hrm. I had a feeling this was coming when they picked up #1-3. and when mr. lucas made 1-3, all of nerdom shouted “woe is me! why do you ruin the purity of the most awesome movie ever!!!!!”

    mr. lucas’ response: “b/c I have a bajillion dollars and I will do whatever the hell I want, regardless of the fans”

    good thing chad vader came out on the internet!


  • 47 Brooke on Dec 30, 2008 at 7:48 am

    8? 5? i am so old.

  • 48 Brian O. on Dec 31, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    Of course, it could have been Robot Holocaust as well, for shamelessly ripping off Laserblast’s soundtrack.

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