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The Contest Contest CONTEST!

December 29th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 165 Comments

today is haiku day 1

Finally following up on The Contest Contest, here is the Contest spawned by the Contest Contest. (…OK, now that word just sounds weird.) There were some great entries, some pure batsh*t madness, and various combinations of the preceding.

The winner is our bluntly-monikered friend Kris for this entry:

    Kris on Dec 16, 2008 at 8:30 am

    Two words for you:

    Rifftrax Haiku. Example.

    I love the water.
    I don’t like sand, so coarse, dry.
    George nods, continues.

Though I like the haiku-like spareness of Kris’ contest instructions AND his/her name, let me elaborate just a bit:

1) The haiku must be related to a Rifftrax.

2) Must be in the English haiku form, which is: “a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.”

3) Write entries in comments below.

4) Deadline: 1/5/2009, 11:59 PM.

(Kris, please claim the free Riffrax of your choice by emailing the lovely, leggy Erik: ERIK AT RIFFTRAX DOT COM.)

*****

Cartoon above courtesy of TOOTHPASTE FOR DINNER. Gracias.

Tags: RiffTrax

165 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Carl on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:53 am

    Funny.. The “No Comments” notice is 17 syllables:

    There are no comments
    yet…Kick things off by filling
    out the form below.

  • 2 Carl on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:58 am

    Alright, here it is:

    D.R.M. Free Riffs.
    Always support satire
    Pay for stolen trax

  • 3 Joe Barlow on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:59 am

    This space ship is big
    Where is that stupid kitty?
    Fine. Alien food.

  • 4 unsupervised on Dec 29, 2008 at 9:00 am

    Oh no! Not the bees!
    Not the bees! AAAAH! MY EYES! AAAUUGHHH!
    OH, THEY’RE IN MY EYES!

  • 5 Bill Corbett on Dec 29, 2008 at 9:29 am

    CROSSROADS, right?

  • 6 Jody L. on Dec 29, 2008 at 9:57 am

    Visiting Santa
    In his swinging split level
    With his robot elves

  • 7 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:07 am

    DisembAudio.
    Beacon. Guide. Keeps us in sync.
    Singing? Please. Just… Don’t.

  • 8 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:11 am

    Wind. Blowing. Death comes.
    Why you eye my lemon drink?
    Two hours – wasted.

  • 9 Matt on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:27 am

    Cavemen can fly jets
    John Travolta is not gay
    A free test, you say?

  • 10 C-Nug on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:34 am

    Awesome State Quarter,
    I am so glad it’s over.
    My life feels shorter.

  • 11 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:35 am

    OMG! Funny!
    Why didn’t I think of that?
    I hope you win! (NOT!)

  • 12 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:37 am

    Seriously though,
    I laughed so hard, my side aches!
    Your last line? PERFECT!

  • 13 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:39 am

    MST is dead.
    Some movies have it coming.
    Thus, RiffTrax was born!

  • 14 Charlie W on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:39 am

    although I disagree that haiku should be 5, 7, 5 here goes:

    bring out the sweeps men
    is that a sweep there is a
    sweep definitely

  • 15 Matt on Dec 29, 2008 at 11:04 am

    She stares into space
    I don a bear suit and punch
    Women in the face

  • 16 Chris on Dec 29, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Comic Book Movies
    They hurt and make you sad… BUT,
    There’s always Bacon

  • 17 Krud on Dec 29, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Rifftrax helped me watch
    The Star Wars Christmas Special
    Without going blind!

  • 18 Hugh on Dec 29, 2008 at 11:22 am

    Swayze is disturbed
    Ben Gazzara’s such a dick
    His hair, unphased

    (Can you enter more than once?)

  • 19 Nick Fechter on Dec 29, 2008 at 11:48 am

    Here’s mine:

    Crow dreams of Tom
    Wearing a nurse’s costume
    Hmm….secret lovers?

  • 20 Bill Corbett on Dec 29, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    “(Can you enter more than once?)”

    Sure. Just eat what you take.

  • 21 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    Starship Dave. (Meet Dave)
    Bill Corbett’s blockbuster film.
    Future RiffTrax? Hmmmmm…….

  • 22 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    “Add To Cart”? Yes, Please!
    Download, then get DVD.
    Sync’d RiffTrax? Priceless.

  • 23 justhesh on Dec 29, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Riff raff, street rat, I
    Riffing gang, rather tasty
    Mike’s head? Entirely cheese.

  • 24 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    Hobbits. Wind. SPARTA!
    Shatner. Beowulf. Life Day!
    Drugs are like that, too!

  • 25 NavarezElectro on Dec 29, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    Captain Spaulding comes,
    Native girls developing
    In a month. Then, photos.

  • 26 Dames Like Her on Dec 29, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    Giant face, shaved bear,
    and that writer from New York
    give us happy time.

  • 27 Ian the Stone on Dec 29, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Meaningless action scenes,
    so goes podrace and quidditch,
    only an hour left.

  • 28 Nick Fechter on Dec 29, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    8(

  • 29 Stacia on Dec 29, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    Tony Madroni’s
    little sore killed his baby
    Now he knows for sure.

  • 30 Ian the Stone on Dec 29, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Crebain from Dunland!
    yells the effeminate elf,
    in needless panic.

  • 31 Dames Like Her on Dec 29, 2008 at 1:40 pm

    [Oops! entry was not
    related to a Rifftrax
    next time, read all rules.]

    Clueless boy and girl
    Anita Bryant chatters
    give me some drugs, now.

  • 32 NavarezElectro on Dec 29, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    I didn’t read the rules- A.D.D. Sorry. How about-

    Evil false chimp faces
    Bicycle safety film turns
    into steaming hell.

  • 33 Matt B on Dec 29, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Hands in dino-dung
    Quirky math-man should talk less
    UNIX will save us!

  • 34 Nick Fechter on Dec 29, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    I know it doesn’t qualify, but I just felt like throwing it out there….

  • 35 Ninjew on Dec 29, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    How to win contest?
    Try complimenting the judge.
    BILL CORBETT IS GOD!!!!

  • 36 Katie M. on Dec 29, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Am I high or was
    There already a haiku
    Contest on this blog?

    Fin.

  • 37 Rowsdower on Dec 29, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    To be more manly.
    Get Leather Battle Panties.
    Run in slow motion.

    Thank You.

  • 38 Tony on Dec 29, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    Bacon Bacon, Mmm
    Fifty-Three Pounds of It, yes.
    Bacon Bacon, Ahhh

  • 39 camcat on Dec 29, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    Alone in the dark
    small screen flickers–robots mock.
    It’s like having friends.

  • 40 penumbra on Dec 29, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    Zak Snyder knows that

    Thermopylae is Latin

    For ’sweaty hotpants’.

  • 41 Dames Like Her on Dec 29, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    Very nice.

  • 42 Vicky on Dec 29, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Mala and Chewy
    Son: Lumpy. Father: Itchy.
    No wonder he leaves.

  • 43 penumbra on Dec 29, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    Well-oiled manburgers

    Soldiers of Laconia

    Body hair your foe

  • 44 chrismartindeed on Dec 29, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    (This entry will probably net me zilch.

    And I’ll be ticketed for trespassing on intellectual property.

    But Christmas is over and I don’t care.)

    Turning Japanese.
    Think I’m turning Japanese.
    I really think so.

  • 45 Mesila on Dec 29, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    What will happen Next?
    “…Won’t be seeing THAT again.”
    What will happen Next?

  • 46 MattNielsen on Dec 29, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    Here are two for now:

    Mike, Bill and Kevin
    The Riffing-Gods from Heaven
    Please don’t riff “Se7en”

    No movie is safe.
    Batman & Robin. Dark Knight.
    Beware: the RiffTrax.

  • 47 Mesila on Dec 29, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    I really, REALLY relate to this one.

    After a 10 year relationship went south a couple years ago I was living alone in the winter and deeply funked in the way only getting left behind after loving someone for 25% of your life span will cause. I started collecting MST3K .avi files and the things entertained me so damned much it WAS like having friends. I know that sounds pathetic in a way but it wasn’t. I wasn’t ready to have real friends around me, yet. I felt like all that bad emo crud would infect them if they got too near me. I was in bad shape.

    But out of these I was able to manufacture something like an emotion-blocking neurotransmitter. It would do things even my favourite standby drugs would not do. It’s really corny and Reader’s Digesty to say it, but I guess laughter really can be the best medicine sometimes.

    I’m doing much better now, in part thanks to discovering Rifftrax. It’s like, oh wow, it’s not over after all! And now there’s Cinematic Titanic too. It’s as if MST3K divided like an amoeba and became two of itself!

  • 48 Mesila on Dec 29, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    Sidenote tacked on to this Rifftrax Haiku:

    Though its referent is the “Next” Rifftrax, this is also a subtle resonation with “Memento”. Moreover it’s also a line Weird Al dropped in “Jurassic Park”, at the first appearance of its ubiquitous paleontolophile lunchbox logo. So with one haiku I’ve referenced 3 Rifftrax.

  • 49 MattNielsen on Dec 29, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    I’m trying to pace myself. Here are two more in honor of Life Day:

    Crazy acid-trip
    The singing Life Day lady
    Muppet-puke on head

    Friend, Boba is bad
    Even though he calls you friend
    He is not your friend!

  • 50 Nick Fechter on Dec 29, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Um….oooooooooookay :I

  • 51 Barry on Dec 29, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Double cheeseburger
    With four big strips of bacon
    I can has it now?

  • 52 MSTJon on Dec 29, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    Skipped to the end so any similarities are coincidence (and possibly brilliance)

    Mike, Kevin and Bill
    Make all films enjoyable
    Will riff for bacon.

  • 53 Ian the Stone on Dec 29, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    Crow was my favorite,
    More adolescent and wry,
    He gave life meaning.

  • 54 Hayden Olson on Dec 29, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    I came for the riffs
    I come back for the blogging
    I still buy the riffs

  • 55 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    Bacon, bacon, bay…
    …con, bacon, bacon, bacon,
    bacon, bacon… ham?

  • 56 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    I know it doesn’t meet the RT-related criteria, but the Kids in the Hall pointed out this is a haiku:

    Ninety nine bottles
    of beer on the wall, ninety
    nine bottles of beer.

  • 57 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    Shia LeBouef means
    God’s Gift, the Beef – truer words
    were never spoken.

  • 58 deldobuss on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Dude, Bro, Man. Monster!
    The Girl? Run, Run, Breathe, Oh Crap!
    Is this the Blair Witch again?

    Haiku, I hate you.

  • 59 deldobuss on Dec 29, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    Ok, here is my shot at another one:

    Echolocation
    My only super power
    (and a fleck of Ben)

  • 60 Darth_Groucho on Dec 29, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    ->Reply from Mesila on December 29, 2008:

    ->I really, REALLY relate to this one.

    Should we start a support group or something?
    Just after the end of mst3k I found myself fleeing a disastrous 8 year relationship with nothing more than what few possessions I could cram into the back of a ford ranger and retreating to my home town broken and ashamed. I lived a summer in a dilapidated motor home in my parents back yard trying to put the pieces back together. I had an old tv and vcr and one salvaged mst vhs tape with “Revenge of the Creature”, “Future war”, and “The Blood Waters of Dr. Z”. I must have watched it a thousand times. It was one of the few things that made me laugh for months. I reentered college under the pretense to finishing my degree and secretly downloaded mst avi files after class until I had them all. I got the entire IT staff into it after a few weeks.
    To this day I credit that tape with saving my sense of humor.

  • 61 Ian the Stone on Dec 29, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    The lurching Torgo,
    forever a memento,
    to great movies past.

  • 62 Mr. Slick on Dec 29, 2008 at 9:58 pm

    Rifftrax versus the
    Cinematic Titanic.
    Winners are the fans!

  • 63 To_Servo_Man on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    Have not posted in
    a long time but who am I
    to resist contests?

  • 64 Darth_Groucho on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    Come down to Harrison Ford!
    The F-150’s are on sale!
    Free balloons for the kids!

  • 65 Darth_Groucho on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    I know there are two many syllables.

  • 66 devo on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    My stomach, it heaves
    When I hear those three small words
    Digital sex cake

  • 67 BEMaven on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    Maverick too short
    To operate jet controls.
    Sits on Goose’s lap.

  • 68 Darth_Groucho on Dec 29, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    Dark Knight Riftrax, woo.
    Who are the real jokers here?
    Mike, Bill, and Kevin.

  • 69 Darth_Groucho on Dec 29, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    “GET OFFA MY PLANE!”
    “WHERE ARE THEY?” “THIS IS SPARTA!”
    “GIMME BACK MY SON!”

  • 70 Kleenex on Dec 29, 2008 at 11:29 pm

    Here are a couple

    Eying lemon drink?
    I will rant at killer plants
    Through a speaking tube

    What? What’s a baby?
    Questions answered by questions
    Yes, drugs are like that

  • 71 Kleenex on Dec 29, 2008 at 11:43 pm

    Harvey Koreman lives
    Painted four-armed transvestite
    Pounding Bantha rump

  • 72 MattNielsen on Dec 30, 2008 at 12:25 am

    Meet Octavius:
    Well-adjusted family?
    Disaster strikes soon!

    Geeks at computers
    Creating the space battles
    Think of them: Sweaty!

    What is my war cry?
    Shout something original:
    My name! “BEOWULF!”

  • 73 Giordano on Dec 30, 2008 at 1:38 am

    Scene from recent film
    Even RiffTrax couldn’t save:
    Refrigerator.

  • 74 Giordano on Dec 30, 2008 at 1:51 am

    Elder wookiee gets
    Serviced by virtual whore
    from Art Carney. Wait…

  • 75 G-Force on Dec 30, 2008 at 2:39 am

    Majestic Bonesaw
    “What are you doing up there?”
    He asks ’cause he cares

  • 76 Ninjew on Dec 30, 2008 at 6:01 am

    Evil Spider-Man
    Who can possibly save us?
    “BONESAW is ready!”

  • 77 Yoggie on Dec 30, 2008 at 6:13 am

    Riftrax chocolate,
    Melts in hand and in brain pan.
    Funny mess for all.

  • 78 Yoggie on Dec 30, 2008 at 6:23 am

    Read the instruction wrong, it is supposed to mention A Riftrax not Riftrax.

    Dark Knight and Joker.
    Batman needs a throat lozenge.
    No one understands.

  • 79 Nick Fechter on Dec 30, 2008 at 8:00 am

    Umm……uuuuh……hmmm……….

  • 80 Brooke on Dec 30, 2008 at 8:00 am

    so is the next contest to pick a winner of this one for you Bill? You’ve taken delegating to a whole new level. And all you had to do was repeat ‘Contest’ several times! Nicely done sir.

  • 81 Kleenex on Dec 30, 2008 at 8:07 am

    I call this one ‘The Waambulance’

    Dark Knight great movie
    I will make an angry post
    On the Internet

  • 82 Kyle S on Dec 30, 2008 at 8:24 am

    Traveled to Nilbog
    Drank green milk with the locals
    Now I am a tree

  • 83 Conor Lastowka on Dec 30, 2008 at 8:53 am

    So is:

    I know it doesn’t
    meet the RT-related
    criteria but

  • 84 RoninFox on Dec 30, 2008 at 10:32 am

    Stolen plots and themes
    Malkovitch weeps for the lost
    E-Ragon sequel

  • 85 RoninFox on Dec 30, 2008 at 10:33 am

    Challenge is answered
    Opponents quake fearfully
    BONESAW IS READY!

  • 86 Mr. Alexander on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:05 am

    Mutant Chimp Children:
    The Fractured Fairy Tale Guy
    Killed Them One By One

  • 87 Mr. Alexander on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:07 am

    Be careful, that was the theme of my RiffTrax Anagram Challenge entry, and it got me nuthin’.

  • 88 NanoRiffite on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:22 am

    Films to remember
    Absurd plots, crazy action
    Fun riffs make many friends.

    – = – = – = – = -

    Chimps with crazy names
    One got fat, nine died so young
    Answer: Wear more hats!

  • 89 NanoRiffite on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:25 am

    We could do a whole series where the last line is “Drugs are like that, too!”

  • 90 NanoRiffite on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:36 am

    Like your toys. Babies.
    Hooked. What? Who? Fun Spins. Dizzy.
    Shorts are like that, too!

  • 91 Mr. Alexander on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:38 am

    Muppets can’t resist
    the Pied Piper-like appeal
    of a mannish crone.

  • 92 NanoRiffite on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:44 am

    Jon tells. Laurie cheats.
    Robby’s ennui. George – Packers!
    Mirrors speak, Clowns gone.

  • 93 Mr. Alexander on Dec 30, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    Queen Victoria
    stuffed crumpets into my face
    at the convention.

    (Obscure, I know.)

  • 94 Walter on Dec 30, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    This Rifftrax contest
    I know that I won’t win it
    Why do I enter?

  • 95 RoninFox on Dec 30, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Want to play a game
    Wake up in filthy bathroom
    Shear off your ankle

  • 96 Racer™ on Dec 30, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    Mike, Kevin, Bill, Dis
    Ineffable enigma
    Your existence is
    ——
    To the Rifftrax crew
    See you guys in the new year
    Stay safe and with cheer

    Skål and Happy New Year!!!

  • 97 Mr. Slick on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:06 pm

    Oh I know I won’t win I’m just glad there is soo many riffs out there to choose from.

    Thanks Mike, Bill, & Kevin for making the worse christmas season of my life bearable.

  • 98 Mr. Slick on Dec 30, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    Rifftrax has next year
    Whining Wars! It’s Anakin
    versus Luke Skywuss!

  • 99 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:09 am

    Contest Contest leads
    to Contest Contest Contest.
    Proliferation.

  • 100 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:12 am

    Need inspiration?
    web.mit.edu
    /people/jync/spam/

    Pink meat poetry
    Not Rifftrax related but
    Spam-Ku will move you.

    (Don’t say the dots, spell out “mit” and “edu” – the non-poetic URL is http://web.mit.edu/people/jync/spam/ for your clicking joy.)

  • 101 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:14 am

    Hope.

  • 102 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:21 am

    The Terrible Truth:
    Why Doesn’t Cathy Eat Breakfast?
    The Trouble with Women.

  • 103 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:24 am

    Insomnia and
    Haiku contest; Damn you, Bill!
    More insomnia.

  • 104 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:27 am

    So, the next contest:
    Pick out winner of this one.
    Bill, nicely done.

  • 105 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:28 am

    Sir.

    (Last syllable of last line)

  • 106 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:34 am

    Should I buy Star Wars
    RiffTrax or should I wait and
    see if I win this?

  • 107 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:37 am

    Michael J. Nelson.
    Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy,
    Conor Lastowka.

  • 108 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:38 am

    How to win contest?
    Quantity of my entries;
    Lottery method.

  • 109 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:38 am

    Really, I’m stopping.
    This is the last one… at least
    until tomorrow.

  • 110 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:39 am

    Okay, just one more
    No! Seriously, must stop
    haiku obsession.

  • 111 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:48 am

    This was a triumph.
    I’m making a note here: huge
    success. (Bill’s earworm.)

  • 112 Top-Hatted Spider Dog on Dec 31, 2008 at 7:44 am

    I will watch him sleep
    Oh god No Bill show some dignity
    resolve to eat less burritos

  • 113 NanoRiffite on Dec 31, 2008 at 8:21 am

    For a haiku, you’re supposed to count syllables (not words).

  • 114 MonkeyCheezPants on Dec 31, 2008 at 9:32 am

    I’m so sick of you and RULES!

  • 115 Raistlan on Dec 31, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    You already have one on the Cocktail page guys:

    http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee83/Raistlan_CE/rifftraxhaiku.jpg

    Pain will not hurt you
    if you add these to your cart:
    Point Break and Top Gun

  • 116 Splunge on Dec 31, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJ-5Mg_12zo

  • 117 Geena on Dec 31, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    for RiffTrax posters
    just put Kevin in a dress
    pure comedy gold

  • 118 Geena on Dec 31, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    buy more RiffTrax, you
    in tough economic times
    four bucks? a bargain!

  • 119 DCD on Dec 31, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    Michael J. Nelson
    I’m go me to levy town
    You need anything?

  • 120 DCD on Dec 31, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    Also:

    Run run run run run
    Go go go go go go go
    HOW DID IT GET BURNED?!

  • 121 Gamera on Jan 1, 2009 at 7:31 am

    Lord of the Doughnuts
    and Crabby McMuffin Head
    both sniffed Gorgo’s A

  • 122 derrek J. Thompson on Jan 1, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    I think it’s out of
    sync with the movie so you
    better pause it now

  • 123 derrek J. Thompson on Jan 1, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    So many movies
    so little cash for buying
    rifftrax so wich one

  • 124 DCD on Jan 1, 2009 at 7:03 pm

    We’ve got trouble here
    Right here in River City
    Get me Spider Man!

  • 125 DCD on Jan 1, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Surreptitiously
    I buy Shia’s Eagle Eye.
    Now I need but wait…

  • 126 DCD on Jan 1, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    Well, Shaia…

  • 127 Geena on Jan 1, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    sucking up to judge?
    brown lipstick not attractive
    smite him, Bill Corbett!

  • 128 Geena on Jan 1, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    Go here:

    http://community.livejournal.com/scifhaiku/

    We could use some fresh blood.

  • 129 Geena on Jan 1, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    my burning question:
    why WON’T Cathy eat breakfast?
    help, Dairy Council!

    endless milk shots, then
    “Stop Projector and Discuss”
    thanks. that’s a BIG help.

  • 130 Mr. Slick on Jan 1, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    Driving in L.A. has prompted me to write the Rifftrax Haiku in the form of vanity license plates!

    D S M B D I O = DisembAudio
    S D C M C C N = San Diego Comic Con
    M K B L K V N = Mike, Bill, & Kevin

  • 131 NanoRiffite on Jan 1, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    Many riff contests,
    Entries that I am pleased with
    But then I go and ruin it in the last line

    – - -

    Many riff contests,
    Entries that start off so well
    But end too soon

  • 132 NanoRiffite on Jan 1, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    Plan 9. Belas, Three.
    Tor Rampage, toss gun on floor.
    Invader ship explodes.

  • 133 NanoRiffite on Jan 1, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    Great. screwed up for real when switching what I wanted for the last line. Supposed to be:
    – - –

    Plan 9. Belas, Three.
    Tor Rampage, toss gun on floor.
    Invaders in flames.

  • 134 James Piggott on Jan 1, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    Go, go, go, go, go
    Shai, Keanu, and Ben
    Whoa dude, Whoa dude, Whoa

  • 135 Geena on Jan 1, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    RiffTrax boys should get
    some hazardous duty pay
    watched The Happening

  • 136 James Piggott on Jan 1, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    Shai = Shia or Shai-ah or Shaia or however the hell you spell Shigh-ha Laboof’s name.

  • 137 Geena on Jan 1, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    blah to your XBox
    RiffTrax gift certificates
    want under my tree

  • 138 Mr. Alexander on Jan 2, 2009 at 8:16 am

    A Swedish giant
    Stop waving that gun around!
    Poor old Legosi…

  • 139 Mr. Alexander on Jan 2, 2009 at 8:20 am

    That Nilbog lady
    Don’t need magic to look hot
    Just brush your damn teeth!

  • 140 DCD on Jan 2, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    Tonigt’s undercard:
    Bonesaw versus Beowulf.
    Main Event: Bale/Freeze.

  • 141 Splunge on Jan 2, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    WHERE ARE THEY?!?! he screams
    in his throat cancery voice,
    the lame Batman voice.

  • 142 NanoRiffite on Jan 2, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Holiday Special.
    All Three Prequel Episodes.
    New Hope. Laughs for All.

  • 143 NanoRiffite on Jan 2, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    James Kirk, Right or Wrong?
    McCoy, Good Health Practices?
    Spock will, Know for Sure!

  • 144 NanoRiffite on Jan 2, 2009 at 10:34 pm

    That could be flipped, too:

    Right or wrong? James Kirk!
    Good Health Practices? McCoy!
    Know for Sure? Ask Spock!

  • 145 MonkeyCheezPants on Jan 2, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    Bruce Wayne is famous
    and could be recognized by
    voice; thus, the Bat-Growl.

  • 146 MonkeyCheezPants on Jan 2, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    It’s S, H, I, A;
    for the longest time, I thought
    it was said Shee-Uh.

  • 147 DCD on Jan 3, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    Everybody
    A Year At The Movies rules.
    Buy now. Sequel please?

  • 148 RoninFox on Jan 3, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    But why for Lucius?
    Mister Fox knows his secret,
    He’s no idiot.

  • 149 Mr. Alexander on Jan 3, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Perhaps the bat-mask
    Constricts Bruce Wayne’s trachea
    Steep price of disguise

  • 150 Curtis on Jan 3, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    Quidditch… hours of brooms.
    Flying balls, green lawn, dead kids.
    Someone kick Dobby.

  • 151 euphoriafish on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    Women: castrating.
    Our hero: phallic symbol!
    Not the bees! My eyes!

  • 152 euphoriafish on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    For Johnny Ramone,
    Nick Cage sacrificed what’s left
    of his dignity.

  • 153 euphoriafish on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    Alternate entry:

    Man as bear hits girl
    Viva the patriarchy!
    Wait– was Beech female??? O_O

  • 154 euphoriafish on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    Drugs are too like these:
    Party clowns, cookie jars, and
    things that are not drugs.

  • 155 euphoriafish on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    Which one is this about? I haven’t seen it and therefore miss the joke…

  • 156 DCD on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    What I want for free:
    A world without Schumacher,
    Some RiffTrax downloads.

  • 157 DCD on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    My priorities
    Account for my love of laughs
    But recall nipples

  • 158 Denis on Jan 5, 2009 at 12:47 am

    MST fades now
    New glorious chapter come
    RiffTrax needs more Joel

    Not that I don’t love Mike and all >.>

  • 159 Casey on Jan 5, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    The result of one night’s lack of sleep. All apologies to real poets:

    Of RiffTrax haiku
    Here then I have not a few
    Some irrelevant

    Lady Gaga gags,
    Hurts Kevin’s musical ears
    Melismatic drone

    “Eye my lemon drink?”
    Pusillanimous puss said.
    Torgo no get joke.

    Now D R M free
    RiffTrax gets no boing-boing love
    And death to Schnappi!

    Conor ate his bacon
    But beaned by Trevor Hoffman
    Cried out “wahoowa.”

    Riffing the Dark Knight
    May soon cause its fans to fight
    Against RiffTrax jokers

    Rowing to Finland,
    Spam-eating Vikings in tow,
    Where is the Sampo?

    This contest haiku
    Regurgitated RiffTrax
    Has run quite askew

    My RiffTrax haiku
    While floating through the ether
    Signify nothing

  • 160 Katy on Jan 5, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    Well, it’s not midnight here yet…

    I got suckered in
    Watched Terminator II
    She’s not my mom, Todd!

  • 161 Katy on Jan 5, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    Oops. I forgot a sylable. It must me all of the knives AND stabbing objects.

    I got suckered in
    And watched Terminator II
    She’s not my mom, Todd!

  • 162 Benjamin on Jan 5, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    Three Ninjas kicked back
    I have forgotten the plot
    Let’s Murderlize ‘em!

  • 163 leanne on Jan 5, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    exceed weight limit
    now alone taking the stairs
    they just let me go…

  • 164 leanne on Jan 5, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    now i am ugly
    radioactivity
    why are friends still hot?