I’ll get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of February, 2009, I, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon.
Why? Because bacon is nature’s finest and most nourishing food. Also, because several doubters on the RiffTrax staff had the unmitigated gall to insult bacon by making the […]

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The news I received today that the infamous “Snuggie” blanket has sold over 4 Million units since its launch in August blew my mind.  The inventors and investors of this laughable infomercial product are no doubt quite wealthy for the first time ever, while the rest of us are left to wonder: How could that […]

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Keeping with the theme of our Live Show short tomorrow night, OVERCOMING FEAR, we want to know what you fear.
We’ll read a few of your fears tomorrow night after we finish the live riff. Not many, mind you, since time is short and we fear staying on camera too long, thus risking […]

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Yes, this is Mark Gormley’s work, but do not ignore the fine contribution of Tommy Robinetti.

Gormley reaches Tiny Timian vocal heights and offers Hasselhoffian video effects. Enjoy!
And watch this space for a shocking meat related announcement coming very soon.

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No?
Well, perhaps a knitted digestive system will be more to your liking:

And if that still doesn’t do the trick for you, at least in terms of knitted items, please visit Why Would You Knit That? They can help you (assuming your needs are knitting-based).

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The RiffTrax Blog would like to extend a hearty “Congratulations” to pruane2forever, who today celebrated one year on youtube.
 

Those of you with an official RiffTrax Calendar have been counting down the days, since it is featured, but it almost snuck past me. It’s been a grand journey with the Sexman, who amassed over six […]

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Here’s a relaxing song which I require my children to watch right before bedtime. (It is never, ever negotiable.)
Before you sleep tonight, return briefly to a time of innocence; of carefree play; of shouting, strangely emphatic young Asian men; of playground swings that refuse to obey physics.
Sweet dreams…

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I’m not a huge fan of trappist-style brown ale, but something made me want to pick up this particular brand from the liquor store.
Perhaps… the label? Which depicts a hideous giant bird-man sitting on a throne, wearing a cauldron on his head while stuffing a tiny naked man into his beak? A tiny […]

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Inspired by this intrepid fellow who set out to determine once and for all how many A’s are in Kirk’s legendary “KHAAAAAN”, I wanted to determine the proper amount of A’s to linger on when calling out for Braaaaaains.  The results may astound you!

Braaaaaaaaaaains, Braaaaaains, and Braaaaaaaains (11, 6 and 8 ) come in one […]

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A high bar, yes… but I think Conor cleared it.
Item ONE.
Item TWO.

DANIEL SCHORR enjoys NPR’s Animal Collective listening party.

(possibly ironic, possibly meaningless juxtaposition courtesy of our friend HEATHER)

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Though my family and friends back home may be partaking in the inauguration festivities, they will miss out on the true way the event should be watched: on Hulu with a “Sponsored by Paul Blart: Mall Cop” tag onscreen at all times.

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So last night I had a thoroughly coherent, almost boring dream that included the following line-up:

Richie Sambora

Heather Locklear, so far, so good…

…And Eddie Van Halen. Okay, I see where you’re going with this, unconscious mind. But then…

Pat Harrington, Jr.??!!
What, I ask you, the hell?

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Does this Benny Hillifier prove that anything can be made funny by speeding it up and playing “Yakety Sax?” Or does it just speed up your desire to run off and live in a cave?
Please experiment, and let us know the results in comments below.

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If you happen to live in or near Minnesota (brrrrrr!) — I wrote a little one-act play for a project produced by Commedia Beauregard, of KLINGON CHRISTMAS CAROL fame, that’s opening tomorrow night.

“Commedia Beauregard has teamed up with the Museum of Bad Art to take six works of art from their permanent collection and translate […]

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