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Okay, NOW What the Hell?!

January 6th, 2009 by · 48 Comments

Man.  I turn my back from the mass media for one minute and another startling conspiracy surfaces.  Why am I the one who has to unmask the real identity of prolific, brilliant, half-mad author Neil Gaiman?


Why didn’t anyone else see this coming?  Why am I the only one to realize that Neil is actually groaning, tortured, half-mad folk-rock poet Leonard Cohen, who maintains his astonishing youth and beauty by feasting on the pineal glands of innocent women?!  I mean come on, even the microphone is the same!! Jeez, I feel like Rowdy Roddy Piper here!

Back me up here people, tell me I’m not the one on crazy pills.  I mean 2009 is s’posed to be this big huge Year of Change, so help me unmask a few of these things, okay?!


Tags: People Kevin Doesn't Resemble · Poliitics · RiffTrax · Shocking Conspiracies Only Kevin Sees · Trends