The holiday season is fast receding into the distance, so my timing is WAY off with this… but if think you’ve seen every possible version of A CHRISTMAS CAROL, it’s probably because you have no honor.
COMMEDIA BEAUREGARD, a Twin Cities theater company that I’m doing a project with these days, started a local cult hit two years ago with A KLINGON CHRISTMAS CAROL.
Below is a local news piece from the 2007 production, complete with requisite baffled talking-head woman.
A KLINGON HAMLET is in the works, followed by the full KLINGON NEIL SIMON SERIES. See Felix and Oscar battle to the death over the Pigeon sisters!
(* “Your mother has a smooth forehead.” Yep, I went there.)
29 responses so far ↓
1 Mario "Asteroid" Panighetti on Jan 11, 2009 at 10:54 am
“German caveman”?! Sir, you have challenged the honor of a Klingon! Prepare for a bat’leth duel!
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2 Casey on Jan 11, 2009 at 11:05 am
Simply heartwarming… I can imagine that at the end when Tiny Croktock says “Rocht oona Sheh Qua” there isn’t a dry eye in the house.
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3 James Shearhart on Jan 11, 2009 at 11:40 am
So boiled in their own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through the heart is now considered an excellent way to die now?
Also, wouldn’t a Klingon Scrooge be considered a wiener for being intimidated by ghosts?
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Reply from Remmie Barrow on January 11, 2009:
Yes, I do believe he would be considered a wiener.
Reply from Nick Fechter on January 11, 2009:
Would he be considered an Oscar Meyer wiener? Would that be what he truely wants to be-e-e?
Reply from James Shearhart on January 11, 2009:
I was gonna say “pussy”, but this is a family show. Also, I don’t know how to say it in Klingon. I have a life, ya see….
4 Tv Miller on Jan 11, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I hear the Klingon Sound of Music is to be played on the radio in case of an alien invasion.
Did tickets sell out on the Klingon Die Fledermaus.
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5 MonkeyCheezPants on Jan 11, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Oh, those sci-fi nerds are so goofy. What’s next, a christmas special that’s two hours of Wookies grunting at each other, masturbating, and listening to the music of Jefferson Starship and Bea Arthur?
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6 Nick Fechter on Jan 11, 2009 at 1:37 pm
YES! First the new movie and now this!
Ladies and Gents, Star Trek is back!
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Reply from Casey on January 11, 2009:
hooray.
Reply from Remmie Barrow on January 14, 2009:
Yeah..Hooray…I guess…I mean, This new movie could triumphantly resurrect the franchise out of the pit of suckitude that the last couple of films and TV series has dragged it down to…Then again, it may just trip over its own feet…All I am saying is do not get overwelmed by the hype.
7 chrismartindeed on Jan 11, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Unless you’re tired of living, don’t ever tell a Klingon child there’s no such thing as the Easter Targ.
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8 Laura on Jan 11, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Speaking of nerds…. Nerd rage from many over this-
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=-dVNtRmv_Jk&feature=channel_page
WOW IS DA DEVIL! GAMES ARE DA DEVIL! HARRY POTTER IS DA DEVIL! Hissssssss….
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Reply from Nick Fechter on January 12, 2009:
Wouldn’t it be funny to find out that he plays WoW himself, and by the looks of him he probably does….
9 BEMaven on Jan 12, 2009 at 5:24 am
I certainly hope this puts to rest those nasty rumors about Bill Corbett being a closet Romulan.
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Reply from Bill Corbett on January 12, 2009:
THANK you.
10 Spaghetti and Steriods on Jan 12, 2009 at 5:37 am
“I’m all for the new tradition”
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Reply from Fifty "percent" Kreiger on January 12, 2009:
bacon http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/7dabf82357/bacond-from-kevin-bacon
Reply from Nick Fechter on January 12, 2009:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_xTKzJfULw
11 blablover5 on Jan 12, 2009 at 7:15 am
I would only believe these are truly Klingons if there’s a final battle of Scrooge, the Newphew, and Ghost of Christmas Present vs Cratchett, Ghost of Christmas Future and Tiny Tim where everyone dies in spectacular sprays of red food dye.
The final twist is that the Ghost of Christmas Past is really Kirk from the future.
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12 Mr. Alexander on Jan 12, 2009 at 10:36 am
My issue with Klingons, and all Star Trek aliens in general, is that the only thing that sets them apart from humans is some manner of North-of-the-eyebrows lumpiness. So, if the janitor of the Enterprise accidentally splashed himself while cleaning out a deep-fryer, would he be mistaken for the Romulan ambassador in a hilarious comedy of errors? If Kirk’s emo secretary’s piercings garner a bloated infection, is she going to have diplomatic immunity to play Hologram Solitaire during working hours? The only alien I saw with the decency to look like one was a man under a blanket that was supposed to be a giant amoeba.
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Reply from Nick Fechter on January 12, 2009:
Do you want to look like an alien on Star Trek? Then just have somebody punch you in the face and your good to go!
Reply from Mr. Alexander on January 12, 2009:
This also works in the vice versa: if you’re in public looking like an alien on Star Trek, someone is likely to punch you in the face.
13 R.A. Roth on Jan 12, 2009 at 12:18 pm
I look forward to the Klingon version of Gigi. Then again, I look forward to being beaten with ball peen hammers and pelted with hard candy. I’m a man of simple Ni-cha!
Randy
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14 karen on Jan 12, 2009 at 6:46 pm
this be a sign of a devoted star trek klingon fans. do they talk in klingon too? oy!
sorry but star wars and indiana jones are wayyyyy cooler.
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15 TJ Prostitute on Jan 12, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Star Wars and Indiana Jones were way cooler, before the recent godawful additions to those franchises, nevertheless there’s hope yet that we could see a stage version of one of those shameful, shameful movies: the phantom menace of the opera, complete with pipe organ solo during dramatic CGI-free hovercraft race….or maybe not
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Reply from Nick Fechter on January 13, 2009:
I think there’s a way to keep a great franchise from growing stale:
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP MAKING SEQUELS! I SWEAR TO GOD IF THEY MAKE AN INDY MOVIE STARRING SHIA LEBOUF I’M GOING TO GO @#$%-NUTS CRAZY!
Reply from awfulgoodmovies on January 13, 2009:
Mutt Jones and the Secret of the Incas 2012
Scene 1:
Sallah: “Mutt you must enter the temple and…”
Mutt Jones:”What? No way dude! Place is all grodie and stuff”
Sallah:”Hmmm….well…. there are pretty girls in the temple and…”
Mutt Jones:”Babes!? Are they hotties? Do I look alright? How’s my breath?”
Reply from awfulgoodmovies on January 13, 2009:
Scene 21:
Sallah:”Mutt you must turn the medallion 3/4 of the w…”
Mutt Jones:”Sorry dude, but no way! That thing is out of my reach…”
Sallah:”You must climb the statue and walk alon…”
Mutt Jones:”You’re freakin’ crazy if you think I’m climbing that! No way Jose!”
Sallah:”Hmmmm…There is a beautiful women at the top of the statue and…”
5 seconds later…..
Mutt Jones:”Okay, I made it to the top….But I don’t see any women!?!?….”
Sallah:”Well……While you are up there…Why don’t you turn the medallion 3/4 of a…”
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