Bacon Stupidity

January 31st, 2009 by Mike Nelson · 307 Comments

I’ll get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of February, 2009, I, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon.

Why? Because bacon is nature’s finest and most nourishing food. Also, because several doubters on the RiffTrax staff had the unmitigated gall to insult bacon by making the outrageous claim that, as good as it is, no one could eat very much of it and live. I can and will. Therefore I will spend the month proving it.

And I invite any and all of you to join me in my quest. If you do, I’ll certainly share your stories and blog posts.

Now for the fine print: “Bacon” shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words “American bacon”. No “Canadian bacon”, which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No “tofacon” or any such horror. Just bacon.

No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature’s finest bacon, all by its dignified self.

I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as “healthy”. This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.

I will post as often as is practical and include pictures of my bacons (if you have any favorites and want to send them my way, please do. The photo is of my first batch, Jimmy Dean, but I have on order a nice slab of Nieman’s Ranch and some Nueske’s as well. And tomorrow I’ll make a trip to Tip Top Meats in Carlsbad for some of their fine in-house bacon.) You will just have to take my word that I will not cheat. As it is, I am a fairly committed carnivore and haven’t the slightest doubt that I can do it without difficulty, but I can understand if you’re dubious about my success. Rest assured that I would never sully the good name of bacon by cheating.

February is bacon stupidity month! Join me!

*****

BILL adds: Let’s make it interesting, Nelson. Care to wager on whether or not you’ll make it through the month?

The stakes are: five lbs. of bacon. Do you accept?

P.S.

” The photo is of my first batch, Jimmy Dean”

Questions:

1) You’ve had a series of batches?

2) You’ve named them?

**Mike replies**

I accept your wager! Eating another five pounds of bacon will be like taking a victory lap at the end of the Tour de France. Only just slightly greasier.

As to your questions.

1) Dozens, yes. (Industrial accidents)

2) No, the donors did, and I tried to honor their wishes.

**Conor suggests**

In case the bacon supply runs low, this guy has a suggestion for a quick preparation method:

307 responses so far ↓

1 Setsuled on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:17 pm

“February is bacon stupidity month! Join me!”

I suspect your wife might suddenly be dreading Valentine’s Day.

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Reply from Thunda on February 2, 2009:
You are a fucking dumbass, youre going to have a fucking heart attack.

Reply from Rai on February 4, 2009:
You’re a retard.If you got nothing good to say,just plaster that hole below your nose,which babbles nothing but nonsense,and makes you dribble food down your clothes.

By the way,I’ll try to give some bacon..I only use specific brands..yea I’m retarded.

Reply from Nidonemo on February 4, 2009:
Please reconsider, a diet consisting of nothing but bacon would be disastrous to your health. A diet should be balanced, meats, dairy, fruit, everything in moderation. I’d hate to read about yet another death that could easily have been prevented.

Reply from Darth on February 5, 2009:
Eating only bacon will cause you to suffer from malnutrition.
Bacon is great, but as with ANYTHING having NOTHING BUT bacon is seriously bad for your health.
If nothing can discourage you, please, for your own sake, GRILL the bacon instead of FRYING it.

Reply from Rob on February 5, 2009:
5 minutes!!!!
You owe me 5 very valuable minutes I have just sat here reading and trying to work out why someone would bother not just to perform this weird experiment but then to have the arrogance to waste other peoples time by documenting it.
Well thank you very much indeed, believe me everyone wishes you the best of luck.

Reply from IC on February 5, 2009:
Oh Shut the Fuck up u Pussiez, He already Made up hiz Mind….

If u Don’t like it Then Close the Fuckin Browser and Move on….

Cryin About Losing 5 Minutez of your Life iz a Domino effect, u Simply Repeated other Shit said like a Fuckin Parrot….

Reply from Birv on February 5, 2009:
Bacon is the candy of meat. Congrats on your delicious choice.

Reply from Lauren C. on February 5, 2009:
http://208.116.9.205/10/content/15790/21.jpg

Reply from Sarah Perez on February 7, 2009:
no way, i bet he’ll lose weight– it’s like atkins but extreme. plus he’ll get sick of bacon after awhile and only eat enough to kill the hunger pains.

Reply from NotRequired on February 8, 2009:
Well… If you have to go,what a way to go…

Reply from Synova on February 8, 2009:
Sarah just said exactly what I was going to say.

I bet he loses a *lot* of weight, just because he gets so sick of bacon he won’t eat that much of it.

Plus… doing this for a month isn’t going to cause malnutrition or a heart attack.

Reply from RobotJohn on February 13, 2009:
Hey Mike,

As someone who knew a guy who claimed he knew another guy who was a cardiologist, I say good luck! Bacon is a filling and nutritious part of any balanced breakfast/lunch/dinner and is especially delicious during these winter months when us humans need a quick pick-me-up in between hibernation cycles, trekking through Antarctica or just chilling at Aunt Martha’s place and watching her many and varied slideshows. Enjoy the rich, buttery taste of bacon!

Your friend from the American Bacon Cartel.

Reply from Katrina on March 24, 2009:
Dude! i actually saw the bacon guy and a news crew at Tip Tops right in front of me in line! After i made my purchase i came out of the store and yelled “Vive la Bacon!” You are AWESOME!!!!
2 Chad on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:21 pm

February 16th, 2009 will be a sad, sad day. Anyone good at writing eulogies?

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Reply from Mike Nelson on January 31, 2009:
Alas, I am very confident, and slightly humbled as a similar wager was made and successfully completed for a full year back in 1930. Explorer Vilhjalmur Stefansson ate nothing but fatty meat for a whole year without the slightest ill effect. And then there are, you know, the Inuit, some of whom still eat nothing but seal fat all winter long. And as long as they don’t get eaten by polar bears, they’re fine.

Reply from Dean on February 3, 2009:
Um… Mike? That Vilhjalmur Stefansson guy?

He’s dead. Expired. Shuffled off this mortal coil (insert rest of Monty Python Dead Parrot skit here).

Your fatty meat diet doesn’t look so good now, does it?

Reply from slarrow on February 3, 2009:
Ah, but Wikipedia tells us that Vilhjalmur Stefansson died in 1962, aged 82. He thus lived past his year of fatty meat diet for another 32 years.

Clearly, Mike, you must beware 2041!

Reply from Felix Hummel on February 5, 2009:
But Vilhjálmur Stefánsson ate a lot of fish during the experiment, too. Don’t forget that.
I doubt that anyone can kill himself by eating just beacon for a month, because I don’t think anyone has the willpower to stay away from other foods after a week. But maybe if he allready had some training, he can make it with a lot of fruit juice. Not for the vitamins, just for preventing himself from throwing up.
3 Rubicon on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:23 pm

Godspeed on your journey. Whilst I am well known for my love of bacon, you are aspiring to heights of which I have never dared to dream.

And while I admire your moxie, I am reminded of the time I saw Dave Thomas from Wendy’s speak. He opened by introducing his cardiologist, who traveled with him at all times (seriously). You may want to consider some sort of medical supervision, or at least carry a video camera so we can all see the final gin-and-bacon-splattered ending on YouTube.

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Reply from Rubicon on January 31, 2009:
Wow, on viewing the post all of the content-driven ads on the right of the page seem ominous and sordid. Yoder’s Canned Bacon? Really? And private label Danish foods?

Reply from rebisaz on January 31, 2009:
Not to mention “Boccalone Tasty Salted Pig Parts for the salami lover.” I’ve got nowhere to go with that.

Reply from dt on February 3, 2009:
I met dave thomas several times as a kid. My dad worked for wendys HQ in Columbus Ohio. I was amazed that every main break room area had a full on soda fountain… just like at the real wendys. The amount of sugar in those super fat employees must have been staggering. I’d be much more concerned if this guy had decided to eat only sugar for a month.
4 Ross on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:26 pm

I know this wouldn’t be considered part of the contest but I think you should make it any ways Mike.
http://www.bbqaddicts.com/bacon-explosion.html

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Reply from joel on February 2, 2009:
DO IT… ITS AWESOME!
5 Houndstooth Mind on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:38 pm

I think he’ll make it a week on the outside. I vote you make an online food diary on livestrong.com so we can all monitor your bacon oddesy!

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6 Barry on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:40 pm

So, Mike…

Can I have your stereo?

You know… once you won’t be needing it anymore?

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7 rebisaz on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:40 pm

That’s insane.

If you could subsist on just the beer, wine, martinis and water, that would be really impressive!

Have fun!

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Reply from jenifersf on January 31, 2009:
Is not insane! Martinis have olives or onions or some other vegetation involved.

I’m pretty sure I ate nothing but bacon for a week once.

Reply from rebisaz on January 31, 2009:
Ah HA! Cunning, sneaking onions and olives in like that, Nelson!

Reply from Dean on February 3, 2009:
Why, that makes them practically a salad!
8 Remmie Barrow on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:48 pm

So, is this some kind of experiment to see what would happen if you eat only one kind of food for a month…to see what happens to your body after eating bacon for a month.

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9 NanoRiffite on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:50 pm

I can (easily) imagine including bacon in every meal, but eating nothing but bacon seems like a risky idea. And given the luck the rifftrax servers have been having lately, I’m not sure you want to be rolling the dice on a high-risk idea.

On the other hand, at least you picked February to do it. If you limit yourself to just two or three slices per day, you could even confound the experts and end up much thinner at the end of the month of just-bacon.

I suggest you consider doing a few more exercises this month, too.

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10 NanoRiffite on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Somehow I can hear the voice of Bridget, as she reads this entry and says “Yeah, like I’m going to let that happen!“

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11 Matt on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:58 pm

Is this some sort of cry for help? Seriously somebody should alert the authorities, we’ve got a jumper….

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Reply from Matt on January 31, 2009:
In the meantime though Im going to enjoy this delicious bacon sandwh……oh, maybe you’re on to something….

Reply from randommanthefirst on February 1, 2009:
If this is suicide, it’s the most delicious, crispy suicide ever attempted.

…Except maybe for a suicidal burning himself to death in a colony of cannibals.
12 justhesh on Jan 31, 2009 at 5:58 pm

If you value you marriage, and if you value the sanity of your children…remember to ventilate!

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13 OxfordProle on Jan 31, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Ignore the haters and non-believers, Mike: I support you in your bacon-y quest!

I suspect, however, that you’ll need a new wardrobe by the end of this month. I think you’d look just fetching in this:

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g110/Eleeta/Homer_muumuu.jpg

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14 Courtney on Jan 31, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Mike, the Bacon Man is the light and the way and now you are a true follower.

Your god: http://foodproof.com/blogs/view/post/bacon-man-435

His hymn: http://baconman.ytmnd.com/

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15 remedies on Jan 31, 2009 at 6:29 pm

i reckon a laxative of some sort will be in order. my grandma recommends miralax.

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Reply from Houndstooth Mind on January 31, 2009:
And perhaps a multi-vitamin or six.
16 Conor Lastowka on Jan 31, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Perhaps some sort of Month O’ Bacon tag is in order so we can keep track of the madness?

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17 Eric Fell on Jan 31, 2009 at 6:55 pm

Me: Hey, did you read this I think I might–

Girlfriend: NO YOU’RE NOT.

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Reply from Mike Nelson on January 31, 2009:
*cough* Bacon wuss *cough*

Reply from yanni576 on February 1, 2009:
pwned!
18 Heather on Jan 31, 2009 at 7:05 pm

This is all because your wife is making you give up bacon for Lent, isn’t it?

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19 Yoohooriffer on Jan 31, 2009 at 7:08 pm

Sir,

Record this journey with a video camera and I promise you it will be bigger than Super Size Me.

Good luck Mr. Nelson, but please don’t hurt yourself. We need your comic genius.

P.S. Why not carry around a shaker of bacon bits for a quick snack on the go?

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Reply from Geena on February 1, 2009:
Super Size Me has already been pwned: http://www.cfif.org/htdocs/freedomline/current/in_our_opinion/super_size_me_down_size_me.htm

Reply from Erin on February 4, 2009:
Down Size Me is stupid, it’s missing the whole point of Super Size Me. Of course you could eat at McD’s like a reasonable person and live… but Spurlock SAYS at the beginning that his experiment was living like most Americans do… and most Americans don’t go to McD’s and get a sald, they go to McD’s and get a super-sized Big Mac meal.

That aside… good luck on your quest, Mike! I hope you post updates…

Reply from Francis on February 4, 2009:
A much better rebuttal to SuperSize Me is the newly released Fat Head. Plus it will vindicate your whole bacon month heroic journey!
20 Rob T Firefly on Jan 31, 2009 at 7:11 pm

If anyone can do this and live, it’s a big Danish guy from the American Midwest.

Give ‘em hell, Nelson.

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Reply from Ryan on February 1, 2009:
HA HA HA! That made me laugh almost as much as Conor’s explosive pig comic strip.
21 Kim on Jan 31, 2009 at 7:32 pm

Question: Why is this post titled “Bacon Stupidity”?

I for one find eating nothing but Bacon N’ Beer for a month to be highly intelligent.

Especially with Lent coming up.

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Reply from NanoRiffite on January 31, 2009:
Because he’s only doing it for one month.

Reply from Kim on January 31, 2009:
Ahh of course.

BTW Mike, while not able to eat nothing but bacon all month I do so pledge to eat as much bacon as I can this month in solidarity with your noble quest.
22 NanoRiffite on Jan 31, 2009 at 7:33 pm

Now that Bill has bet him five pounds of bacon, I’m almost certain that Mike will go through with it.

I’m not that dedicated to bacon, but I’ll go order a ground beef and bacon pizza in honor of your question. (order it right now — there’s a Domino’s about a block from me, and I believe they’re open for another two hours tonight).

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Reply from NanoRiffite on January 31, 2009:
er, that’s supposed to be “in honor of your quest“. Maybe I should go to sleep and get the pizza tomorrow…
23 mike on Jan 31, 2009 at 8:23 pm

Bacon Pizza? Bacon Sandwiches? Or just pure unmitigated bacon?

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24 jerk on Jan 31, 2009 at 8:40 pm

FYI: you’re going to die (deliciously i might add)

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Reply from death on February 2, 2009:
FYI: So are you.
25 Ginger on Jan 31, 2009 at 9:08 pm

Oh dear. Mike, are you turning into a WereCrow again?

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26 mrbasehart on Jan 31, 2009 at 9:19 pm

This is kinda like the Bacon equivalent of Brewster’s Millions.

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Reply from michael on February 1, 2009:
But then Mike should be giving away bacon for a month, right?
27 jenifersf on Jan 31, 2009 at 9:34 pm

I’ve decided to have some bacon every day in solidarity. Eh…actually, I pretty much do that. Okay, every meal. SO doable. I will count the complete collection of Bacon Salt flavors, Baconnaise, and my Bacon Lip Balm, of course.

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28 Houndstooth Mind on Jan 31, 2009 at 9:38 pm

Since bacon has always been a side dish for me, I’m not exactly sure just what a meal sized portion of bacon looks like. Seems to me a bacon only diet could easily get a bit pricey!

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29 Annie on Jan 31, 2009 at 9:49 pm

http://www.baconunwrapped.com/2008/10/bacon-flavored-bourbon.html

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30 gojikranz on Jan 31, 2009 at 10:12 pm

we have to get a documentary crew ot htere pronto this will be huge for het bacon lobbiests.

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31 Kyle from Maine on Jan 31, 2009 at 10:47 pm

I shouldn’t have read this. Now I am hellbent on seeing if I can actually make it a month by only eating bacon. Although at the end of the month I will be covered in acne and will have gained 20 lbs. I will feel victorious (and probably very nauseous).

[Reply to this]
Reply from Conor Lastowka on February 1, 2009:
What do you have to lose? Go for it! Achieve your dreams!

Reply from Queen Shadowrama on February 1, 2009:
*Counts down the days until Kyle’s family sues Rifftrax for bacon-related death and wins thanks to Conor*
32 randommanthefirst on Feb 1, 2009 at 1:00 am

I’m interested to see the scurvy set in; to my knowledge, no one has tainted bacon with vitamin C yet.

Or you could just hit the citrus vodka, I’m sure there’s a couple in there somewhere.

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33 jonathan from austin on Feb 1, 2009 at 1:12 am

you must see this, Melson.

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34 jonathan from austin on Feb 1, 2009 at 1:13 am

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5933487992252736220

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35 melman on Feb 1, 2009 at 4:50 am

R.I.P Mike’s Arteries

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36 RVR II on Feb 1, 2009 at 5:48 am

Tis the Month of Mike Nelson and Bacon!
Only 28 Days, starting today, as you embark on your ‘Baconeuphoria’..
Just think Happy Thoughts throughout this experience..
And remember: BACON RULES!!!

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37 RVR II on Feb 1, 2009 at 5:52 am

ALSO:
I think we need to see blood tests and body fat % results sometime in March to see how Sir Mike held up during this month long adventure..

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Reply from Tripe on February 2, 2009:
By the end of the month will there be blood, or will it merely be a fine candle grade tallow?
38 OxfordProle on Feb 1, 2009 at 6:53 am

Conor: the addition of that TNT Piggy comic made me laugh so hard, I pulled a muscle in my abdomen. Ow. Please be a little more sensitive next time: post responsibly. Thanks in advance.

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39 Kristina on Feb 1, 2009 at 9:15 am

mike: twitter please, also modify your bet to eat this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmyDyCbslEc and this http://www.goonswithspoons.com/Hot_Dog_Rollup

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40 jennifer on Feb 1, 2009 at 9:23 am

Nice use of the Perry Bible Fellowship comic!!! Every time I think I couldn’t possibly love you guys more…

re: “Canadian bacon” - we don’t really know what that is. It’s something YOU GUYS made up. Our bacon looks just like your bacon. We THINK you mean peameal bacon when you say “Canadian bacon” but we’re still not really sure…

P.S. good luck with Bacon Quest ‘09! Are you gonna make some sort of Super Size me movie out of this like that Morgan fellow? Because I would watch this movie…

[Reply to this]
Reply from Henry Slinkman on February 1, 2009:
“Canadian bacon” = ham.

Reply from jennifer on February 3, 2009:
In Canada, ham = ham.

Still doesn’t clear anything up, my friend.
41 Ben on Feb 1, 2009 at 10:00 am

You know…when historians look back at this event, I think it will be fully recognized as the catalyst that started World War III. You can even look back at the previous World Wars and see that pork products had a hand in starting those wars.

World War I….not the assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand…It was Bosnian-Serb jealousy of the Austrian Schweinsbraten.

World War II…not the invasion of Poland…it was Hitler’s secret obsession with Kielbasa.

World War III…not a war on terrorism or over oil… it was Mike Nelson’s declaration that Canadian Bacon is “just lunchmeat”. As our border defenses are weak and virtually non-existent, I await the invasion from Canada and all the horrors that this will entail.

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42 Onil on Feb 1, 2009 at 11:02 am

Save the bacon grease. I’m curious as to how much you’ll have by the end of the month.

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Reply from Francis on February 4, 2009:
Real men don’t leave bacon grease behind! What is he gonna drink??
43 R.A. Roth on Feb 1, 2009 at 11:53 am

I’m having bacon wrapped steak bites as part of my Superbowl spread. Less bacon than bacon wrapped bacon bites, but spiritually speaking a bacon-based snack.

Randy

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44 Ginger on Feb 1, 2009 at 12:01 pm

In honor of your quest, I bought a box of thick-sliced, fully-cooked Oscar Meyer bacon when I went out to get snackage (incidentally, not for the Super Bowl). Right now, I am eating a bacon sandwich - seven slices of bacon between two slices of bread.

You may be on to something here, Nelson.

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45 DoughyGuy on Feb 1, 2009 at 12:19 pm

You’d think Kevin would have warned him about the “eat nothing but *blank* for a month” thing… I forsee Mr. Nelson’s sanity, well lubricated by bacon grease, slip from the kiddie carrier of his psyche and run wild, driving him into a foggy realm of half-reality and wild fantasy…

That’d be really cool… Hehe

Oh, hey! Baconsanity! Say it out loud it works better…

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46 OxfordProle on Feb 1, 2009 at 1:18 pm

I wonder if Mike has fully considered the economic implications of this little experiment. Think about it: Mike and his devotees will drive the demand for bacon through the roof in February, only to have the entire thing collapse in March. It’ll be the Great Bacon Bubble Burst of 2009! We’re all doomed!!

Still, I think this experiment is noble enough to drive our country even further into recession. Godspeed!

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47 Geena on Feb 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I eat bacon every other day; and my cholesterol numbers have never been better.

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48 michael on Feb 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I believe this quote from Braveheart (!) fits nicely, “All men die, but not all men really live.”

The real question is going to be, are you going to see how bacon is made - from pig to package?

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49 MIke Lukash on Feb 1, 2009 at 1:50 pm

You should have taken a cholsesteral test before and after.

And weigh yourself! See how much you gain/loose!

And no Orange Juice? Bacon is good with Orange Juice!

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50 National Pork Producers Council on Feb 1, 2009 at 2:07 pm

We heartily endorse this diet. Er, maybe we shouldn’t say “heart”.

We enthusiastically endorse this diet.

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51 National Cattlemen's Beef Association on Feb 1, 2009 at 2:08 pm

BEEF — It’s what’s for March.

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Reply from Wesley Stamper on February 2, 2009:
Mr. McConaughey,

I loved your work in Texas Chainsaw Massacre IV!

Keep up the pretentious yet folksy thing you got goin’!

Love,
Wesley
52 Michael Crawford on Feb 1, 2009 at 3:05 pm

I’m shocked - shocked, I tell you - to find such a den of naysayers and scoffers. Mike Nelson, pride of America’s heartland, throws down a delicious, hickory-smoked gaunlet and we lecture him on diet and exercise? By God this man grew up in Wisconsin, cheeks ruddy with the healthy glow brought on by a steady diet of cheese curds and brewed hops!

Nelson, I salute you as a visionary. You might be interested in the following site, of which I am an avid reader:

http://bacontoday.com/

Godspeed, good friend.

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53 Ryan on Feb 1, 2009 at 3:51 pm

It sounds like when he gets done with this he’ll look like Frank.
Considering that Mike seems to be the only MST3K alumni in decent health, maybe he just wants to fit in.

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Reply from Bill Corbett on February 1, 2009:
Ryan,

Please post your age, health records and at least six pictures of yourself.

A further challenge may follow… if you have the stones.

bc

Reply from Natureboy (Ken) on February 2, 2009:
Oh Snap!
54 Ryan on Feb 1, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Are you going to write a book about it, like Kevin did in A Year at the Movies?

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Reply from Nick Fechter on February 1, 2009:
Morgan Spurlock probably beat him to it.

Reply from michael on February 1, 2009:
Michael J. Nelson’s A Year in Recovery
55 AmandaGal on Feb 1, 2009 at 6:01 pm

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Reply from AmandaGal on February 1, 2009:
Hmm, that said “Amanda buys extra stock in the company that makes Lipitor”

But it does not. Odd.

“Amanda buys extra stock in the companies that make letters too”

Reply from AmandaGal on February 1, 2009:
Or maybe, as a vegetarian who has given up dairy and gluten for the month of Feb, I was speechless
56 Greg on Feb 1, 2009 at 7:39 pm

Best Bacon: http://bentonshams.com/order/index.php?cPath=24&osCsid=bf8bb4758c1cffc4f2f799de926c4de9

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57 MonkeyCheezPants on Feb 2, 2009 at 1:46 am

Yay! Perry Bible Fellowship!

http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF117-Bacon_Egg.gif

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58 majorjoe23 on Feb 2, 2009 at 8:29 am

If you want to end your month of bacon in style, the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival is Feb. 28 in Des Moines. It’s sold out, but I could get you in (it does require traveling to Iowa):

http://blueribbonbaconfestival.com/

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59 Laura on Feb 2, 2009 at 8:33 am

I hate bacon. THERE I SAID IT!

Really, I hate bacon. There is nothing good about it, and I prefer to eat my scrambled eggs and hash browns.
In fact, damn, I realized I hate EVERYTHING from a pig. Ham, pork, bacon…. It’s all so weird tasting. But boy do I love my beef. Would anyone like to fight me over this? I declare a duel between beef and pork!

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60 AmazingThor on Feb 2, 2009 at 9:00 am

Umm… Won’t you get scurvy if you only eat meat? Do us all a favor and at least take some vitamin supplements!

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61 Bacon Stupidity Month. . . « “Hi, I’m (insert name).” on Feb 2, 2009 at 9:06 am

[…] Mike Nelson is taking the month of February and greasing it up with bacon! […]
62 BEERORKID » bacon is wonderful and would never hurt you. Bacon loves you. on Feb 2, 2009 at 12:57 pm

[…] Dude to eat nothing but bacon for a month. Now for the fine print: “Bacon” shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words “American bacon”. No “Canadian bacon”, which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No “tofacon” or any such horror. Just bacon. […]
63 pixie on Feb 2, 2009 at 2:52 pm

I WAS SAVING THAT BACON!

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64 Andrea on Feb 2, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Um..You know you will lose a shit ton of weight, right? This is a low-carb diet. Just be sure that your blood sugar doesn’t drop too low. And drink water. Seriously, your kidneys may fail if you don’t.

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65 mr_adam on Feb 2, 2009 at 3:00 pm

European bacon, aka proper english bacon - get some! get lots of water, but the high sodium will see to that. May I suggest March is Banana (potassium) month.

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66 Scott Kveton on Feb 2, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Absolute, utter, totally shameless pandering here … can we at least sponsor you with some choice bacon products? C’mon … if you’re gonna do it, do it right …

http://bacn.com

Let me know!

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67 Tales of a Charmed Life » Blog Archive » Name the Devil and He Will Appear - on Feb 2, 2009 at 3:25 pm

[…] then I find out that Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) has decided to eat nothing but bacon for the entire month of February. Mike (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) is already my hero. For one, the man appeared in a […]
68 Michael G.R. on Feb 2, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Well, it’s your body, so do whatever you want with it…

Maybe next month you should try broccoli to balance things out a bit?

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69 Andrew on Feb 2, 2009 at 4:04 pm

You, sir, are a hero.

I was going to send you a recipe for bacon chocolate chip cookies, which are nothing short of heavenly, but I guess that would violate the “all-bacon” concept.

BUT, there is a bar in Boston, whose name escapes me, that bottles Bacon Vodka. Maybe you could convince them to send you a bottle, now that you are a celebrity with a Cause.

Good Luck and … well, I hope you live through this.

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70 Stephanie Baker on Feb 2, 2009 at 4:05 pm

I commend you for your bacon goal. It is an inspiration to us all.

I recommend cinnamon apple smoked bacon, which is highly delicious.

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71 burhan on Feb 2, 2009 at 4:30 pm

This is kind of a callow attempt at internet attention, no? Also, you’re an infidel and your colon will be in eternal torment.

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72 bacon365 on Feb 2, 2009 at 5:23 pm

I’m eating bacon everyday for a year, but I am allowing for other things on my menu so as not to commit bacon suicide…

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73 govtdrone on Feb 2, 2009 at 5:26 pm

I know you said you won’t eat anything healthy but are you going to take at least a multivitamin? I don’t want you dying before the end of the month. Also, will there be themed days? For example, on Valentine’s Day will you be eating your bacon in the shape of a heart?

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74 EJ on Feb 2, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Hmm, no V8? But you are drinking martinis, beer, and wine. So can you drink V8 as part of a Bloody Mary?

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75 Andi on Feb 2, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Come on, Mike. Add some cheese to your bacon. Live a little!

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76 David Reagan on Feb 2, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Have you talked to a doctor about this, excepting Nick Riviera?

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77 Tristan on Feb 2, 2009 at 6:35 pm

Good luck, but just remember if you start to feel weak to stop immediately and consult a doctor if anything worse happens. Either way try and exercise and don’t do anything dumb like eat an entire pound of bacon as one meal.

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78 Nothing but bacon on Feb 2, 2009 at 6:42 pm

[…] permalink Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon. Furthermore Mr. Nelson invites you to join his quest. Link: Bacon Stupidity […]
79 Bacon! on Feb 2, 2009 at 6:49 pm

[…] Nelson is eating nothing but bacon for the month of February. I couldn’t do it. While I love bacon, I like variety more. I […]
80 John on Feb 2, 2009 at 7:03 pm

Good luck! I agree with Andrea above that this is a low-carb diet, and without bread or potatoes to go with your bacon, you’re likely to be in better shape than when you started.

One caveat. I would spend extra to get bacon that’s really smoked, and not cured with nitrate/nitrites.

I agree with several commenters that it would be interesting to get some blood tests done (especially a lipid panel) before and after.

I’ll be cooking bacon for dinner in your honor tonight.

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Reply from Richard Olsen on February 3, 2009:
Mike, Forget about nitrates.

Most of the world was panic’ed in the 70’s that nitrates and nitrites ’caused cancer’. This was due to bad researchers that were later discredited. The actual fact, that nitrates/nitrites are slightly BENEFICIAL for you is almost never heard.

It’s not worth it to waste even an extra penny on the more expensive nitrate-free meats, especially considering those alternatives usually have just as much or more nitrates added by camouflage (using celery, beet juice, or sea salt).

You can read the real story about nitrates here…
http://junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/2008/07/does-banning-hotdogs-and-bacon-make.html
81 Mike Hunt on Feb 2, 2009 at 7:19 pm

What, no theme song? The dog food “Bacon,Bacon” dog looped to Flight of the Bumblebees would be cool.

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82 Mike Hunt on Feb 2, 2009 at 7:21 pm

http://www.westonaprice.org/mythstruths/mtvegetarianism.html
The Myths of Vegetarianism
Myth #6: Saturated fats and dietary cholesterol cause heart disease, atherosclerosis, and/or cancer, and low-fat, low-cholesterol diets are healthier for people.

This, too, is not a specific vegetarian myth. Nevertheless, people are often urged to take up a vegetarian or vegan diet because it is believed that such diets offer protection against heart disease and cancer since they are lower or lacking in animal foods and fats.

Although it is commonly believed that saturated fats and dietary cholesterol “clog arteries” and cause heart disease, such ideas have been shown to be false by such scientists as Linus Pauling, Russell Smith, George Mann, John Yudkin, Abram Hoffer, Mary Enig, Uffe Ravnskov and other prominent researchers (50). On the contrary, studies have shown that arterial plaque is primarily composed of unsaturated fats, particularly polyunsaturated ones, and not the saturated fat of animals, palm or coconut (51).

Trans-fatty acids, as opposed to saturated fats, have been shown by researchers such as Enig, Mann and Fred Kummerow to be causative factors in accelerated atherosclerosis, coronary heart disease, cancer and other ailments (52). Trans-fatty acids are found in such modern foods as margarine and vegetable shortening and foods made with them. Enig and her colleagues have also shown that excessive omega-6 polyunsaturated fatty acid intake from refined vegetable oils is also a major culprit behind cancer and heart disease, not animal fats.

A recent study of thousands of Swedish women supported Enig’s conclusions and data, and showed no correlation between saturated fat consumption and increased risk for breast cancer. However, the study did show,as did Enig’s work, a strong link between vegetable oil intake and higher breast cancer rates (53).

The major population studies that supposedly prove the theory that animal fats and cholesterol cause heart disease actually do not upon closer inspection. The Framingham Heart Study is often cited as proof that dietary cholesterol and saturated fat intake cause heart disease and ill health. Involving about 6,000 people, the study compared two groups over several years at five-year intervals. One group consumed little cholesterol and saturated fat, while the other consumed high amounts. Surprisingly, Dr William Castelli, the study’s director, said:

In Framingham, Mass., the more saturated fat one ate, the more cholesterol one ate, the more calories one ate, the lower the person’s serum cholesterol … we found that the people who ate the most cholesterol, ate the most saturated fat, [and] ate the most calories, weighed the least and were the most physically active. (54)

The Framingham data did show that subjects who had higher cholesterol levels and weighed more ran a slightly higher chance for coronary heart disease. But weight gain and serum cholesterol levels had an inverse correlation with dietary fat and cholesterol intake. In other words, there was no correlation at all (55).

In a similar vein, the US Multiple Risk Factor Intervention Trial, sponsored by the National Heart and Lung Institute, compared mortality rates and eating habits of 12,000+ men. Those who ate less saturated fat and cholesterol showed a slightly reduced rate of heart disease, but had an overall mortality rate much higher than the other men in the study (56).

Low-fat/cholesterol diets, therefore, are not healthier for people. Studies have shown repeatedly that such diets are associated with depression, cancer, psychological problems, fatigue, violence and suicide (57). Women with lower serum cholesterol live shorter lives than women with higher levels (58). Similar things have been found in men (59).

Children on low-fat and/or vegan diets can suffer from growth problems, failure to thrive, and learning disabilities (60). Despite this, sources from Dr Benjamin Spock to the American Heart Association recommend low-fat diets for children! One can only lament the fate of those unfortunate youngsters who will be raised by unknowing parents taken in by such genocidal misinformation.

There are many health benefits to saturated fats, depending on the fat in question. Coconut oil, for example, is rich in lauric acid, a potent antifungal and antimicrobial substance. Coconut also contains appreciable amounts of caprylic acid, also an effective antifungal (61). Butter from free-range cows is rich in trace minerals, especially selenium, as well as all of the fat-soluble vitamins and beneficial fatty acids that protect against cancer and fungal infections (62).

In fact, the body needs saturated fats in order to properly utilize essential fatty acids (63). Saturated fats also lower the blood levels of the artery-damaging lipoprotein (a) (64); are needed for proper calcium utilization in the bones (65); stimulate the immune system (66); are the preferred food for the heart and other vital organs (67); and, along with cholesterol, add structural stability to the cell and intestinal wall (68). They are excellent for cooking, as they are chemically stable and do not break down under heat, unlike polyunsaturated vegetable oils. Omitting them from one’s diet, then, is ill-advised.

With respect to atherosclerosis, it is always claimed that vegetarians have much lower rates of this condition than meat eaters. The International Atherosclerosis Project of 1968, however, which examined over 20,000 corpses from several countries, concluded that vegetarians had just as much atherosclerosis as meat eaters (69). Other population studies have revealed similar data. (70) This is because atherosclerosis is largely unrelated to diet; it is a consequence of aging. There are things which can accelerate the atherosclerotic process such as excessive free radical damage to the arteries from antioxidant depletion (caused by such things as smoking, poor diet, excess polyunsaturated fatty acids in the diet, various nutritional deficiencies, drugs, etc), but this is to be distinguished from the fatty-streaking and hardening of arteries that occurs in all peoples over time.

It also does not appear that vegetarian diets protect against heart disease. A study on vegans in 1970 showed that female vegans had higher rates of death from heart disease than non-vegan females (71). A recent study showed that Indians, despite being vegetarians, have very high rates of coronary artery disease (72). High-carbohydrate/low-fat diets (which is what vegetarian diets are) can also place one at a greater risk for heart disease, diabetes, and cancer due to their hyperinsulemic effects on the body (73). Recent studies have also shown that vegetarians have higher homocysteine levels in their blood (74). Homocysteine is a known cause of heart disease. Lastly, low-fat/cholesterol diets, generally favored to either prevent or treat heart disease, do neither and may actually increase certain risk factors for this condition (75).

Studies which conclude that vegetarians are at a lower risk for heart disease are typically based on the phony markers of lower saturated fat intake, lower serum cholesterol levels and HDL/LDL ratios. Since vegetarians tend to eat less saturated fat and usually have lower serum cholesterol levels, it is concluded that they are at less risk for heart disease. Once one realizes that these measurements are not accurate predictors of proneness to heart disease, however, the supposed protection of vegetarianism melts away (76).

It should always be remembered that a number of things factor into a person getting heart disease or cancer. Instead of focusing on the phony issues of saturated fat, dietary cholesterol, and meat-eating, people should pay more attention to other more likely factors.

These would be trans-fatty acids, excessive polyunsaturated fat intake, excessive sugar intake, excessive carbohydrate intake, smoking, certain vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and obesity. These things were all conspicuously absent in the healthy traditional peoples that Dr. Price studied.

[Reply to this]
Reply from burhan on February 2, 2009:
Whoa, whoa, Mike. No one said anything about going vegetarian, only that all bacon all the time is really dumb.

Reply from Mike Hunt on February 3, 2009:
burhan
The link and post were to refute those that claim falsely that a month of bacon will kill someone. I’ve a gripe about the marketing of nonessential medications, like cholesterol drugs, that create a fake fear and need.
If you have the time read through the site. The part about Native Americans and Elk back fat is interesting.

Reply from Eric on February 24, 2009:
This “article” is full of fallacies. And it cites research done in the 60’s. That’s about 40 years old and the research itself is dubious at best. He also cites various “caveman diet” sources, which are even more inaccurate and have been proven so.

If want sound research, read The China Study.
83 blah on Feb 2, 2009 at 8:16 pm

thanks to the internet, I’m now bored with bacon.

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Reply from Mike Nelson on February 2, 2009:
Then we have failed in our mission to make sure that “blah” is never bored. That was job one, and we failed.
84 dlb on Feb 2, 2009 at 8:42 pm

http://peppersandsmoke.com/bbq/burgers/

Check out this little number.

It’s a burger made entirely of ground bacon.

they have another recipe for a deepfried bacon burger, but I suppose that would break the “no sauces” rule.

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85 Queen Bee on Feb 3, 2009 at 3:06 am

One practicing Catholic to another: Have fun on Ash Wednesday eating your… nothing.

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86 Mike Hunt on Feb 3, 2009 at 4:04 am

Have you ever woven your bacon strips?
I give you the future of strip meats
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=woven+bacon&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2

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87 brad on Feb 3, 2009 at 7:35 am

Are you going to make bactinis? Vodka and bacon grease, shaken over ice. Also, which wine have you found to go best with a pound?

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88 Jason on Feb 3, 2009 at 8:26 am

While I don’t agree with this idea, and we strongly discourage such bacon flagrancies, try checking out http://bacn.com for some resources. We got all kinds of tips, recipes, and straight up bacon to buy. The Garlic Pepper Bacon is the best bacon you’ll have this month, I guarantee it.

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89 This Week in Bacon - Crispy on the Outside on Feb 3, 2009 at 8:26 am

[…] one dude is on a visionary quest to eat bacon every day this monthlet: I’ll get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of February, 2009, I, Michael J. Nelson […]
90 Mike G on Feb 3, 2009 at 8:43 am

Hell, you’ve even got time to make your own bacon. I’ve got some curing in my fridge right now:

http://www.lthforum.com/bb/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=6172

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91 matt on Feb 3, 2009 at 8:47 am

God bless you, sir–if you pull this off, it means a better life for all of us. Best of luck!

ML

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92 pduggie on Feb 3, 2009 at 9:00 am

I wish you well.

You should, as one commenter mentioned, avoid the sodium nitrate versions of bacon (the most common).

Trader Joe’s has some pretty good dry rub and other nitrate free varieties.

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93 Juice on Feb 3, 2009 at 9:00 am

You should honored by presidents and praised by all. Here is your BEST source…

http://www.zingermans.com/Product.aspx?ProductID=G-BAC-3

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94 The Vidit on Feb 3, 2009 at 9:23 am

The individual embarking on this should make all males proud.

ungh! ungh! awoog!

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95 Capper on Feb 3, 2009 at 10:21 am

Actually, going low carb for a month will make Mike healthier than ever. He should probably take a few vitamins (I don’t think they would count as food), but otherwise an all-bacon diet will not be at all unhealthy. He will likely lose weight, so he should make sure he eats enough bacon.

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96 Emily on Feb 3, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Not only is this just an awful thing to do to your own body, but it also shows you have absolutely no concept of what pork production is doing to the planet. And by encouraging others to do it, you’re basically saying that you don’t give a shit about pollution or the treatment of animals. I understand a fair amount of “ignorance is bliss” when it comes to the American diet, but this is just blatant acceptance of the very food system that will destroy our soil and water in time. Way to go.

“Stupidity” doesn’t even come close.

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Reply from Het on February 5, 2009:
So, Emily….
If we eat pigs, the world will end, right?
I see…..
And I’m confident that you’re a credible source of information despite the fact that you have a pronounced tendency to belittle and disparage others while informing them all of thier ignorance and callousness?
The only thing worse than a boor is an opinionated boor.
97 Mike Stearman on Feb 3, 2009 at 6:16 pm

You understand, don’t you, that this disqualifies you from converting to Judaism or Islam for the rest of your living days…

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98 t-bird on Feb 3, 2009 at 7:37 pm

Consider eating the bacon grease, too. There’s a ton of energy in that, probably about twice what is left in the bacon itself. That’s why I have veggies with my breakfast, to soak up the grease.

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99 Scott Mulder on Feb 3, 2009 at 7:52 pm

People have been smoking meat for a long, long time

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100 Bay Cun on Feb 3, 2009 at 9:26 pm

To lose weight on this diet, I suggest

1) No carbs of any kind—in other words, make your beverages calorie-free–black coffee, tea, diet soft drinks, and a buttload of WATER
2) The excellent Trader Joes Pre-cooked, uncured apple-smoked bacon alternated with a low-sodium variety of your choice (the sodium can get unpleasant at high levels)
3) Supplemental multi, magnesium and potassium

You’ll do fine on this; you will lose weight and improve your blood lipids.

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101 Brr on Feb 3, 2009 at 10:25 pm

Just one point of qualification: what Americans call “Canadian Bacon” is not any kind of bacon we actually sell/eat in Canada. Our “Canadian” bacon is real back bacon.

Great concept, I wish you well. I’ve been seriously considering doing a similar stunt this year, I just haven’t decided what food to stick to yet.

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102 Richard Olsen on Feb 3, 2009 at 10:52 pm

Mike, I wanted to chime in to congratulate you (in advance) and wish you the best of luck and health.
If you’re like 80% of humans you will do very well on this high fat, very low carb diet.

You should lose weight, and for the most part IMPROVE your blood lipids and health.

Even if your overall TOTAL cholesterol goes UP, don’t be concerned; you will be healthier
because even if your LDL goes up, your HDL will go up even more! (Making for better health.)
Also whatever unhealthy LDL you have now will be converted to different types of LDL that
are larger and fluffier and harmless.

At the end of the month, you will have very little of the dangerous small ‘dense’ LDL cholesterol
(sub types: IIIa, IIIb, and IVb). One example of a laboratory that can verify this kind
of improvement is Berkeley HeartLab (bhlinc.com)

Unfortunately due the way factory farm feedlots work, most livestock today gets grain-stuffed
for 120 days before slaughter, and this causes their meats to have a horrificly
unhealthy ratio of Omega-6 fats to Omega-3 fats. You will get about 23 grams of
Omega 6 per day versus 1 gram of Omega 3, (not good) unless you overcook the bacon and
drain off most fat

If you have a chance to get some bacon from a farmer’s market where the animals were NOT
fattened on grain they will have a much more healthy mix of Omega fats.
I buy bacon and other meats there at times and then don’t worry a bit about the fats;
I even cook this type of bacon as little as possible, just to kill germs, but try NOT to
cook out the fats.

Assuming however you will instead eat the common grocery store grain-fattened varieties, you could
make up for the terrible omega-6/omega-3 ratios by supplementing 4 grams of fish oils a day
to somewhat restore a more natural balance to these potent health-affecting fats.

Don’t be concerned at all about the saturated fat component. In the 60’s we were all fed
a bunch of baloney by vegetarians, animal activists, and grain-state politicians.
The reality is that saturated fats are not bad for us as long as they are NOT hydrogenated.
They boost our immune systems and we will have fewer colds and flu.
I frequently cook with NON-HYDROGENATED GRASS FED LARD.

Don’t be concerned about getting no fiber either; it is an anti-nutrient that robs your gut of
necessary nutrients. Take quite a bit of magnesium and vitamin C daily to keep you regular and ward off
scurvy-like symptoms. And consider taking supplements daily of all the fat-soluble
vitamins (A, D, E, and K) and also some calcium since you will be very low on these.

Bay Cun was right about taking POTASSIUM supplements as well. You will be getting an excess of
sodium and very insufficient potassium so it could affect your muscles and heart rhythm unless you
supplement.

I would bet that most of these measures would be un-necessary if we were eating wild boars on
some deserted island that ate a natural diet, but sadly, most of our livestock is nearly poisoned
with enormous amounts of grain in their last months before slaughter.

Grains turn to blood sugar very quickly in animals as well as humans so you should do well
as long as you avoid all grains and all sugar. It would end our epidemics of heart disease, diabetes,
high blood pressure, alzheimers and many other diseases, if most people tried this.
For more info, see: http://www.second-opinions.co.uk/

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103 Funkmeister on Feb 4, 2009 at 4:13 am

I’m in. I’ll start today and end on March 4th (If I want to stop then) Bacon for a full month will only be a slight modification to my consumption when I go no carb to diet. With only eating bacon, I stand to lose 30-40lbs by months end.

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104 BACON BACON BACON - Funkydom on Feb 4, 2009 at 4:20 am

[…] by Funkmeister on Feb.04, 2009, under All News Mike Nelson of Mysterry Science Theater 3000 fame has blogged about eating only bacon for the whole month of February. He also invites people to join him. See his blog post here. […]
105 Rusty2litedodge on Feb 4, 2009 at 4:29 am

This is a Free Country.

I Will eat bacon any day at any time

God Bless America !!!!!

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106 Mike Nelson Is Insane! « Edged in Blue on Feb 4, 2009 at 5:02 am

[…] Mike Nelson Is Insane! February 4, 2009 Posted by eviljwinter in That’s Pretty Cool, WTF, Why Is This News?. Tags: bacon trackback Michael J. Nelson, the brains behind RiffTrax and one of the minds behind the Greatest Television Show Ever Aired (TM), Mystery Science Theater 3000, has embarked on a project for the month of February. […]
107 Bacon Stupidity Month | Bacon Today on Feb 4, 2009 at 6:54 am

[…] on Day 4 of what will be a 28-day journey of eating nothing but bacon that he has named “Bacon Stupidity Month“. This is exactly the kind of thing we love to see at Bacon […]
108 DMC on Feb 4, 2009 at 7:50 am

Quote from Mike:
“I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as “healthy”.”

What, no tonic? That’s soda or “pop” to you non-New Englanders (or New Englanders under 40). with your quaint, frontier expressions.

Carbonation. Salt. High fructose corn syrup (or sugar, if you go with the old-fashoned purveyors).

The perfect accompaniment for that fatty, greasy, smoke or hickory-cured marvel.

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109 andrew on Feb 4, 2009 at 8:38 am

I just hope you don’t end up detesting bacon. Death first!

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110 Dave on Feb 4, 2009 at 9:16 am

I find myself unable to either encourage or discourage this. There is a line between awesomeness and madness, and you stand astride it, eating bacon.

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111 Offbeatmammal on Feb 4, 2009 at 9:32 am

are you allowed to spread baconaise on it?

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112 Martin Levac on Feb 4, 2009 at 10:52 am

Mike,

I predict that:

1. You will not gain weight. But more specifically, you will not grow fat.
2. You may even lose weight. But more specifically, you might grow lean(er).
3. You will not get healthier, nor sicker (if you are sick but I doubt that), than you already are. But more specifically, your cholesterol won’t change much except perhaps HDL will rise, LDL particle size will increase and triglycerides will drop. While every other marker for health (or disease however we wish to see it) will remain as they are or even improve. However for this to be determined you would have to take measurements, i.e. blood tests and whatnots, before and after.

Yeah, enjoy that bacon, Mike.

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Reply from Dusty on February 4, 2009:
Right on Martin, my thoughts exactly.
113 Kristin on Feb 4, 2009 at 10:56 am

Good Lord, man. Get someone to film your adventures in baconphilia, and you, too, could win critical acclaim like Morgan Spurlock (or whatever his name was).

Also, just because of this, I shall continue my aversion to all things bacon.

brb praying for the continued existence of your arteries.

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114 Martin Levac on Feb 4, 2009 at 11:01 am

Oh, by the way. I assume that you will cook the bacon. If you begin to feel ill, then it may be the beginning of scurvy. As you have probably read from Stefansson’s accounts, in the context of an all meat diet, scurvy develops when we cook the meat too much. Cured bacon would be just fine but it’s very thin and cooks very quickly. Anyway, if you begin to feel ill, just eat a few slices raw once in a while. It still counts toward your challenge.

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115 jonny on Feb 4, 2009 at 11:02 am

So, Mike, when are you going to update your blog?

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116 DJ Particle on Feb 4, 2009 at 12:21 pm

http://www.thefump.com/fump.php?id=42

the great Luke Ski’s tribute to BACON!

I couldn’t resist

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117 Minna on Feb 4, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Beer is healthy, especially Belgian beer!

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118 Dusty on Feb 4, 2009 at 1:45 pm

I am cheering you on Mike. No other meat product could inspire such greatness. All Hail Bacon, the perfect food (Protein, Fat, Salt, and just a hint of smoky goodness).

Take it up a notch! For your martinis, use this recipe:
http://www.browniepointsblog.com/2008/01/20/homemade-bacon-vodka/

Enjoy your odyssey.

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119 Ghost on Feb 4, 2009 at 2:49 pm

LOL, When I heard bacon stupidity month, I immediately thought, how much Kevin Bacon can one man stand?! At least you are doing something much safer by eating real bacon than watching non-stop Kevin Bacon movies.

[Reply to this]
120 A Second Hand Conjecture » There But for the Grace of God on Feb 4, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[…] go I. addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fasecondhandconjecture.com%2Findex.php%2F2009%2F02%2F04%2Fthere-but-for-the-grace-of-god%2F’; addthis_title = ‘There+But+for+the+Grace+of+God’; addthis_pub = ”; […]
121 Ed on Feb 4, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Mike, are you doing any varieties?
Thick cut vs regular?
Condiments not allowed, but what about Pepper bacon?
Is the majority of your bacon Baked, Cast Iron or pan fried, Deep Fried or Microwaved?

Bacon gets a bad rap. Everyone knows it’s the miracle food, right?

[Reply to this]
122 frankie23.com | viva la rudo » Blog Archive » MST3K Presents Death By Bacon on Feb 4, 2009 at 4:03 pm

[…] Vows To Eat Only Bacon For A Month [Geekologie, via blog.rifftrax.com] Recommend this post: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and […]
123 ANDY on Feb 4, 2009 at 5:21 pm

COSTCO now sells the Philips HeartStart Home Defibrillator.

~$1,260

[Reply to this]
Reply from randommanthefirst on February 6, 2009:
Bah, just drag yourself into the free clinic for your defibrillation needs; they could apply it to the areas where it really matters, like the loins!
124 themilkman on Feb 4, 2009 at 5:33 pm

You fucking rock.

Don’t listen to all of these “heart attack” haters.

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125 Teresa on Feb 4, 2009 at 6:45 pm

You’ll be fine! You will improve your health! Seriously.

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126 Scott Fletcher on Feb 4, 2009 at 7:14 pm

I’m a bit concerned about you contracting scurvy (among other things). It’s a nasty little disease that anyone can get if they don’t eat fruit/vegetables. Consider allowing a mere tomato slice a day.
http://www.snopes.com/college/horrors/scurvy.asp

God speed John Glen!

[Reply to this]
Reply from Dale on February 8, 2009:
Scurvy won’t be a concern for several months.
127 Y on Feb 4, 2009 at 8:29 pm

Eat Kevin Bacon. He deserves to be cannibalized for “Wild Things.” Now that’s a game of Six Degrees!

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128 Miss Fitz on Feb 4, 2009 at 8:50 pm

I eat salami and apples every single night. I’m thin and my heart is fine (I’m 52).

I don’t drink alcohol myself but strongly recommend drinking red wine with the bacon. The red wine moves the fat along, or something to that effect. I’ve read about it in science artiles and am too lazy to google for what exactly the wine does, but do it. In moderation, naturally. A couple of glasses’ll do you at night.

And walk a lot. Look at the French diet, look at what the Amish eat. It works that fatty fat just fine!

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129 Icono on Feb 4, 2009 at 8:53 pm

It’s probably going to be horrible for your cholesterol. I don’t think is a very intelligent way to gain attention.

If you’re eating all meat and little carbs, your body will start the ketosis effect that the Atkins diet is based on. You’ll probably lose some weight and have a stabilizing of your blood sugar (if you lay off the carb-heavy booze and caffeine). However, if you jump back into a carb-heavy diet after the month is over you’ll gain weight at an explosive rate.

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130 Angeline on Feb 4, 2009 at 9:42 pm

With all these different thoughts and ideas, it really all has to do with your body type and how it will be affected by the meat. There had been a lot of issues with Atkins diet which based on no carbs, mostly meat and so on. Some people it worked for, others literally got very sick and ended up in hospitals. So what one diet does for one person, may not be anywhere the same for the next. So you can probably get away with eating all that, or die of heart attack. There’s just too many odds to know what will really happen. But you really are playing with your own life.

[Reply to this]
131 Jen on Feb 4, 2009 at 10:13 pm

Go Mike!!! Though personally I think its going to be sad when you get to the end of your month and probably never want to eat bacon ever again!!

(Awaits update)

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132 TrickGo Clothing » Blog Archive » Bacon, For A Month on Feb 4, 2009 at 10:18 pm

[…] For the entire month of February, a man by the name of Michael J. Nelson is going to eat nothing but bacon. [Rifftax] […]
133 George on Feb 4, 2009 at 10:38 pm

You said no condiments…but what about bacon varieties pre-flavored with such accessories, such as Honey Maple Flavored Hickory Smoked Bacon?

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134 greg on Feb 5, 2009 at 12:24 am

I have no doubt in my mind you’ll succeed. After all, bacon is just a low fat version of pemmican (more or less), but made from pork. As a fellow carnivore, I salute you!
Be sure to save the lard, you can use it on your sandwiches in march! =)

[Reply to this]
135 Een maand lang enkel spek in de bek « Russian’s Weblog on Feb 5, 2009 at 3:11 am

[…] maand lang enkel spek in de bek Michael Nelson, een Amerikaan(wie anders) wil een maand lang spek eten. Zonder saus. Droog. Hij mag wel wijn, bier en water drinken. Waarom? Omdat hij het kan en wil. […]
136 dyf on Feb 5, 2009 at 4:32 am

I think you might end up needing a fiber supplement with this project.

It certainly won’t kill you though.

[Reply to this]
137 Erick on Feb 5, 2009 at 5:49 am

Why is this post called bacon stupidity? It should be called *Bacon Smartness*!

I am a proud recipient of BACON OF THE MONTH CLUB - a gift from various friends for my recent wedding… I can’t spare any as I’ve already promised people to attempt bacon explosion (http://www.bbqaddicts.com/bacon-explosion.html), but I’m with you in spirit.

[Reply to this]
138 Vince on Feb 5, 2009 at 6:06 am

This should be interesting. Hope you aren’t 6 feet under by the end of the month, though if you do survive I wonder if you’ll ever eat bacon again? Only time will tell….. Good luck, and Godspeed.

[Reply to this]
139 IC on Feb 5, 2009 at 6:41 am

Awesome, bout Time Somebody got the Ballz 2 Do this….

I Survived a Month drinking Nothing but Beer and Water, mainly Cause I had no Food in the House and didn’t Feel like Cooking….

Sure, I landed in the Hospital, but it Waz Spiritual….

Maybe if u Do this It’ll bring Peace 2 the Middle East….

[Reply to this]
140 The Former 786 on Feb 5, 2009 at 7:27 am

HUZZAH!

HUZZAH for bacon!!!!

HUZZAH for bacon and Mike Nelson!!!!!!

[Reply to this]
141 Comendo SÓ bacon durante um mês inteiro | SuperDicas! on Feb 5, 2009 at 7:50 am

[…] onda de experiências como a feita no filme “Super Size Me“, o americano Michael J. Nelson lança a proposta de se alimentar somente com bacon durante um mês inteiro. Será que ele consegue […]
142 Jeff on Feb 5, 2009 at 8:04 am

Well, eating only bacon for just a month probably won’t kill you, but check your blood pressure once a week just to make sure.

Also, if your gums start bleeding for no apparent reason? That’s scurvy. It’s caused by Vitamin C deficiency. It can make your teeth fall out and ultimately kill you.

So yeah, if that happens you might want to squeeze a lime into one of those beverages - if it’s a Corona beer I don’t think it will count as cheating.

[Reply to this]
143 asdf on Feb 5, 2009 at 9:53 am

Dude - Drink enough beer - has some carbs and b-vitamins

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144 28 Days And Nothing But Bacon on Feb 5, 2009 at 10:00 am

[…] Full Post: Bacon Stupidity […]
145 Krensada on Feb 5, 2009 at 12:15 pm

Mike! I implore you not to do this! I seriously don’t want the world to lose a comedy genius like you! Sure you might survive, but at what cost?

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146 Hepcat on Feb 5, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Bacon and gin.

I salute you, sir!

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147 Lion on Feb 5, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Bacon wrapped in Bacon…that is a great recipie!

Make sure you season with some bacon salt.

I hope you like it crispy. The stuff about the grain stuffed cows is true! Well, mostly crispy

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148 Si vous aimez le bacon, lisez ceci! « Le Bagel Blog on Feb 5, 2009 at 1:50 pm

[…] termine avec le blog de Michael Nelson, qui a décidé de ne manger que du bacon pendant un mois. Je lui ai écris un épitathe sur son […]
149 Cerulean on Feb 5, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Enough has been said about nutrition. What about a hard, honest examination of “awesomeness”? Coincidentally, here’s a look into what your month is going to be like:

http://nobodyscores.loosenutstudio.com/index.php?id=430

[Reply to this]
150 Sarah on Feb 5, 2009 at 2:24 pm

Yikes there’s a lot of uptight people here. Please do yourselves a favor and get over it. Have you forgotten what fun is like? I was in college just a couple years ago and “fun” could be a lot worse than eating nothing but bacon, my friends.

And might I suggest you try some Bacon Salt on your bacon? Two times the bacon flavor!

[Reply to this]
151 The Lazy Faire » Blog Archive » The Bacon Diet on Feb 5, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[…] So Mike Nelson, former host of Mystery Science Theater 3000, current host of RiffTrax, and one of the funniest men alive, has decided to eat nothing but bacon for a month. […]
152 Bacon for a Month « MRod says: on Feb 5, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[…] · No Comments Michael J. Nelson (former head writer for Mystery Science Theater 3000) is eating nothing but bacon for the entire month of February. Why? Because bacon is nature’s finest and most nourishing food. Also, because several doubters […]
153 Bookmarks for February 3rd 2009 through February 5th 2009 | commandsheep DOT COM on Feb 5, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[…] Bacon Stupidity - for the entire month of February, 2009, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon. […]
154 Ellie on Feb 5, 2009 at 5:05 pm

And now for something supportive: WOO!! BACON!!

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155 digitalsaviour on Feb 5, 2009 at 5:51 pm

You know, there’s always bacon ice cream. It would sort of count. Kinda. There’s a recipe for it… um…
http://www.seriouseats.com/2008/03/david-lebovitzs-candied-bacon-ice-cream.html
there. Have fun, and good luck. Your colon will forgive you eventually.

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156 Sab on Feb 5, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Fuck yeah man! go for it! bacon is delicous!

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157 Rex on Feb 5, 2009 at 7:34 pm

I wish you luck, man. Bacon rules.

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158 Ed on Feb 5, 2009 at 8:29 pm

You have inspired me! I wont go with bacon because, frankly, I’m too lazy to cook bacon every day and my son would eat half of it before I could get to it anyway.

I’m going to declare March, burger madness month! I’ll eat nothing but ground beef for the entire month of March. As per your rules, no condiments, no buns, no pasta, nothing but beef. I will allow myself salt, pepper and garlic powder however. I’ll ask my wife to record my progress including starting and ending blood pressure and weight, on her low-carb blog at http://wifezillasway.blogspot.com.

BTW, bring back Mystery Science Theatre (not so much the cheesy story lines, but three guys goofing on bad movies) I loved that show.

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159 Deb on Feb 5, 2009 at 9:14 pm

Someone already mentioned it in passing, but you really should watch the movie “Super Size Me” while you’re doing this bacon challenge. The guy in the movie does a McDonald’s-only challenge for a month and has health professionals document the changes his body goes through. It’s really interesting, and it’s available for instant streaming through NetFlix.

Good luck.

[Reply to this]
Reply from Ed on February 6, 2009:
The “Super Size Me” guy lied about his food intake and refuses to release his food diary. A new documentary about a man who ate only fast food for a month and LOST weight while lowering his cholesterol was just released.
http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/fast-food/fat-head-the-movie/
The fattening part of fast food is NOT the meat or fat…it is the high fructose corn syrup in the drinks and the wheat, corn and potatoes.
160 Mid-Week Eye Candy Wrapper #34: Joanna Krupa Edition — Tailgating Ideas on Feb 5, 2009 at 10:28 pm

[…] Eating Bacon for 28 straight days […]
161 Phil on Feb 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm

Check out www.gratefulpalate.com for different varieties of bacons. Highly recommend the jalapeno bacon, but I really don’t think you can go wrong with anything featured on that site.

[Reply to this]
162 ZOMG! WTF??/ Decency and the Internets - gotnull.com on Feb 6, 2009 at 2:45 am

[…] now I’m going to have a cold shower and whack off to something with bears and bacon in it. Tags: 4Chan, bald, crass, crude, emo, fulvio, gay, GOTHIC, hugz, humour, internet, lolz, […]
163 The Willinois View » Blog Archive » Nothing But Bacon for One Month on Feb 6, 2009 at 5:26 am

[…] can following this craziness on the Bacon Stupidity on his blog. I even read that his wife (yes, his wife is letting him do this) gave his Bacon Bits to […]
164 Live Manly » Blog Archive » Comedian eats only bacon for entire month on Feb 6, 2009 at 6:07 am

[…] Nelson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 has decided to eat nothing but bacon for the entire month of February. You go […]
165 Trina Summers on Feb 6, 2009 at 8:13 am

While I don’t think a diet based on only one food choice is the healthiest thing to do all the time, it won’t kill you- don’t listen to all these idiots. Our bodies were made to run on protein. I worry about the salt more than anything else.

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166 Skip Mendler on Feb 6, 2009 at 10:51 am

A couple of details you don’t mention… they might be kinda crucial…

1. Approximately how much bacon to you intend to eat per day?

2. Will you be taking any vitamins or other dietary supplements?

3. How many hours a day to you intend to be active? (If you’re sleeping a lot, you won’t be eating so much.)

4. How much water and other fluids will you be drinking? (lots of carbs in the beer, other nutrients in the wine; dunno about the martinis - but enough fluids to flush the nitrites will probably be a good idea)

5. Would you count natural bacon? (It’s awesome, trust me on this one.)

6. Finally, you *are* going to be under medical supervision, right?

[Reply to this]
167 Skip Mendler on Feb 6, 2009 at 10:53 am

Mmmmm, natural:

http://www.applegatefarms.com/Products/Details.aspx?ProductID=110

[Reply to this]
Reply from Emily on February 11, 2009:
More natural:
http://www.colemannatural.com/index.php?option=com_resource&controller=article&category_id=6&article=873&Itemid=9
168 Sprocket on Feb 6, 2009 at 11:54 am

Dude… you really need this alarm clock!!!!

http://www.mathlete.com/portfolio/wakeNbacon.php

Awake to bacon!!!!!

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169 Dave-0 on Feb 6, 2009 at 12:45 pm

I’m…in awe of what you’re doing, kind of like I hold rodeo bull riders, tightrope walkers and test pilots in awe. (Meaning I respect what you’re doing and there’s no freaking way I’d try it.) How are you holding out against scurvy, as there is no vitamin C in bacon?

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170 andyw on Feb 6, 2009 at 2:59 pm

u fuckin big balled man!
that is the manliest challenge i have ever seen
you men with vaginas that criticize shud go and put ur pinnys back on and suck your husbands cock.

[Reply to this]
171 Josh on Feb 6, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Ok, as the creator of the “Fans of Bacon” group on Facebook, I envy you and salute you. The most I’ve ever eaten in one sitting was 6 pounds (uncooked). But a month? Wow! Hope you’re still around to tell us about it.

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172 Ice Cable on Feb 6, 2009 at 7:44 pm

I frequently cook with NON-HYDROGENATED GRASS FED LARD.

I frequently cook with NON-HYDROGENATED GRASS FED LARD.

I frequently cook with NON-HYDROGENATED GRASS FED LARD.

[Reply to this]
173 uglywolf on Feb 7, 2009 at 9:04 am

Italian sausage is unacceptable?
http://www.bbqaddicts.com/bacon-explosion.html

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174 Threshold of Pain » Blog Archive » Saturday Update on Feb 7, 2009 at 11:11 am

[…] Check this guy out. He’s going to try to eat nothing but bacon for a month I already asked Dawn if I could do that. She said no. […]
175 Pistachio Wildebeast on Feb 7, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Good luck with your bacon adventure.

The countless posters forecasting death by bacon, while touching, should remember that a month is only thirty days. Really not that long. You’ll start getting deficiencies eventually, of course, but it takes a while, and it takes a lot longer than a month to get long term health effects from saturated fats or nitrites.

With a supply of deep-fried fatty bacon and a jar of multivitamins (especially C), you could trek across the Antarctic for a month just fine - in fact if you throw in a load of butter it would be an ideal high calorie provision.

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176 baconhatr on Feb 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm

A new low in pointlessless. Also, bad karma from killing so many pigs dude.

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177 Bob Ellis on Feb 8, 2009 at 10:32 am

Hey Mike,

Good luck on your quest.

Just in case you shuffle off this mortal coil, can I have your job at RiffTrax?

It would be a step up for me.

[Reply to this]
178 Stupid Food Tricks on Feb 8, 2009 at 1:09 pm

[…] Yet another example of this appeared on my radar screen this morning, from a rather unlikely source. As I was puttering around in the kitchen, John called to me from the living room: “Mike Nelson’s going on an all-bacon diet.” […]
179 The Beak » Suday Filler: Bacon Round-Up! on Feb 8, 2009 at 4:45 pm

[…] other bacon news, Mike Nelson (of MST3K fame) has vowed to eat nothing but bacon for the entire month of February. I admire his spirit, but I can’t help feeling like he wussed out by choosing the shortest […]
180 walker on Feb 8, 2009 at 6:06 pm

back-country park ranger hear…this was sent to me by one of my partners. After a summer of “bacon ban” (we had some bear issues in my camp I say GO FOR IT!! but on the other hand you can do it but you should have some green stuff in there…and if you aren’t going to take any advice on that level than hear this

go with dry cured not wet cured, wet cured is what you get in the grocery store, it is pictured on this page, it is disgusting after having dry cured. Go to a meat market and ask them if they have dry cured or where you can get it, you will probably have to slice it yourself or have them do it for you but it is well worth the extra trouble to have a 1/2 inch thick slice of bacon that tastes way better than the crap at the grocery.

good luck!

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181 walker on Feb 8, 2009 at 6:07 pm

sorry everyone late night… here not hear, i can read and spell sometimes…

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182 Well That’s A Bad Idea: Mike J. Nelson Eats Nothing But Bacon « on Feb 9, 2009 at 10:32 am

[…] Now I like Mike J. Nelson and I like bacon, but I think too much of anything together is a bad idea, which is why I think it’s a bad idea that good ol’ Mike plans to eat nothing but bacon for an entire month. […]
183 rabidferret on Feb 9, 2009 at 8:44 pm

I think that sounds freakin’ awesome and I wish you the best of luck with the baconing. gratefulpalate has some of the best out there, and i highly encourage the burgers smokehouse pork jowl! it sounds iffy but tastes delicious!! and i believe they sell it in some catalogs in 5-10lb packages!

screw all the naysayers, bacon rules:)

[Reply to this]
184 monday morning ughpdate « smorgasbundle. on Feb 9, 2009 at 8:53 pm

[…] have you read about the guy who is eating bacon for an entire month for every meal? i mean, i heart bacon, but i’d get so sick of it by […]
185 « Tuna » on Feb 10, 2009 at 6:35 am

… well, at least he picked the shortest month to do this in.

Hell, if the guy from Super Size Me can eat nothing but McDonald’s, Mike can probably do this.

Take a multivitamin daily, Mike.

[Reply to this]
186 Bacon Science Theater 3000 | Royal Bacon Society - The Ultimate Bacon Resource on Feb 10, 2009 at 7:02 am

[…] a bacon freak who’s willing to go the extra mile. How will he do that, you ask? By eating NOTHING BUT BACON FOR A MONTH. Did I say that loudly enough? Because I was mentally shouting at you to convey just how crazy this […]
187 Darren Terry on Feb 10, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Awesome Have fun! I hope at the end these whinny babies will STFU.

[Reply to this]
188 The Timothy Jordan Show » Blog Archive » February 10th, 2009 on Feb 10, 2009 at 5:15 pm

[…] • Bacon Stupidity […]
189 Riley on Feb 10, 2009 at 6:13 pm

My diet has been only meat and water for the last 8 months, I am in the best shape of my life. I have no signs of heart disease, scurvy, or malnutrition.

Bacon is very nutritious. Especially in the absence of carbohydrates.

[Reply to this]
190 Man Plans to Eat Only Bacon For A Whole Month | WTFoodge on Feb 10, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[…] try and prove that bacon is “nature’s finest and most nourishing food”, Nelson will be eating nothing but bacon for the entire month of […]
191 Not Quite Kosher » Just a Month on Feb 10, 2009 at 9:23 pm

[…] the least healthy month-long challenge I’ve seen is Mike Nelson’s bacon fest, in which he will only consume bacon, water, and alcohol all February. Check him out, and offer him […]
192 Ari On the Internet » The flu 2: Electric Boogaloo on Feb 11, 2009 at 8:41 am

[…] Bacon is nummy. But not this nummy. Do realize that this post is by this […]
193 Alex on Feb 11, 2009 at 12:38 pm

I think if you skip the beer or other carbs, you should be fine. I would NOT be surprised if your cholesterol actually goes down (the “so called bad” or LDL-C) and raises your HDL. Your triglycerides will go down big time (this is good).

Your LDL pattern will be large and fluffy (pattern A), the non-atherogenic type.

It’s low fat and high carb that is bad for your cardiovascular risk (pattern B).

So skip the sugar, and the beer, and you should do just fine. Too bad you can’t post before and after blood lipid profile.

[Reply to this]
194 Music & Wine » Wine That Tastes Like Bacon! on Feb 11, 2009 at 5:50 pm

[…] J Nelson (the creator of Mystery Science Theater 3000) is eating nothing but bacon for the entire month of February: a noble, if difficult goal. Follow his efforts for month-long […]
195 Homo Sum » Blog Archive » Aside: On Bacon on Feb 11, 2009 at 7:43 pm

[…] While I am less enamoured with the idea of the bacon explosion than the rest of the internet, I admit to an unhealthy curiosity about the idea of a bacon chocolate bar. Of course, the odds are better of my buying an amusing bacon t-shirt than actually trying either of those. And while all this bacon stuff amuses me, some people will take it Just Too Far, Man. […]
196 David Brink on Feb 12, 2009 at 1:21 am

Mike should check out “The Bronx Bar” in Detroit, Michigan which offers FREE BACON every Sunday evening, or so I’ve heard.

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197 Zach on Feb 13, 2009 at 3:27 am

Listen, Mike, as long as you treat your bacon right, this month will be a breeze. As I’m sure you know already since it’s been over two weeks.

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198 mcdolph on Feb 13, 2009 at 7:09 pm

you swine! i can’t even afford to buy more than three or four packets of bacon a month!

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199 shat on Feb 13, 2009 at 7:23 pm

enjoy your scurvy

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200 Rev Jason Baker on Feb 13, 2009 at 9:08 pm

I am a huge fan of meat. Unfortunately I am unable to eat pork bacon and must only eat the turkey and beef variety. The whole not chewing cud thing that pigs do. Thus being said I propose that we force pigs to start chewing cud.
I am thinking that if I raised the pig myself and forced it to chew cud would it cease to be an unclean animal?

[Reply to this]
201 Nils on Feb 14, 2009 at 1:49 am

Canadian bacon is an American term for back bacon, so it is bacon. American bacon is streaky bacon, from the belly.

[Reply to this]
202 Valentine’s Leftovers « Ben’s Breakfast Blog on Feb 16, 2009 at 5:43 am

[…] One of my heroes, Mike Nelson (former star of “Mystery Science Theater 3000″), is eating nothing but bacon for the entirety of February. I didn’t think it was possible for me to be more in awe of him. I am proven wrong. Eat […]
203 donbecker.org » Mike Nelson is my hero… on Feb 16, 2009 at 8:43 am

[…] http://blog.rifftrax.com/2009/01/31/bacon-stupidity/ […]
204 Man Vows to Only Eat Bacon… « Eternal Rambling of a Boy With Two Brains on Feb 16, 2009 at 8:51 am

[…] is also going to only drink water and not use any condiments. You can read his original blog post here (from January 31st). He apparently decided to eat bacon during the SHORTEST month of the […]
205 Kindke on Feb 16, 2009 at 10:44 am

Given the fact that anyone can easily completely fast for 1 month and live on nothing but water, it amazes that people think eating bacon for a month will kill you.

Bask in the ignorance of media more people

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206 Alvin on Feb 16, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Just wanted to point out that what you call “Canadian Bacon” is actually peameal back BACON…but you knowing this would indicate intelligence and this whole post eliminates that possibility.

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207 KP on Feb 16, 2009 at 9:34 pm

Oh man, there are so many comments already. But dude, you will have gout. I say this from personal experience. It doesn’t feel good. I was foolish. Do not go where I have already tread.

[Reply to this]
208 CJ on Feb 17, 2009 at 6:09 am

Hi Michael,… I’m a low caber for 17 years. One word of caution,..if for some reason you start getting heart palpitations, it is NOT the fat, it is the sodium and nitrite concentrations. Try to get nitrate free bacon. Also, if you can’t, whatever you are drinking, this will sound weird, but you need potassium in larger quantities doing what you’re doing. So use “No Salt” or Morton’s “Salt Substitute” which are almost pure potassium liberally on or in everything you eat/drink. The bacon diet will work, but try looking up the “fat fast” (no joke).

[Reply to this]
209 Former MST3K host Michael Nelson vows to eat only bacon for one month | the 941 on Feb 17, 2009 at 6:31 am

[…] host of the hilarious pop culture phenomenon Mystery Science Theater 3000, vowed on January 31st to consume only bacon during the entire month of February. Maybe he’s bored, now that he’s relegated to doing […]
210 carrie on Feb 17, 2009 at 11:25 am

no fair!

wine is grape juice and beer is liquid bread. if you’re going to do it, then do it. no sneaking plant “food” in.

[Reply to this]
211 Bacon morning, noon and night | Omnivore Atlanta on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:37 pm

[…] can read his reports on the Riff Trax Blog. Just click on bacon in the “categories” column to the left of Nelson’s initial post announcing the […]
212 Five Before Chaos» Man eating bacon all month on Feb 17, 2009 at 11:04 pm

[…] diagnosed with a terminal illness or an asteroid was coming, one that I’d consider… Man vows to eat nothing but bacon through entire month of February: …for the entire month of February, 2009, I, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. […]
213 it’s never ME, it’s always THEM… » Mmm bacon. Mike Nelson, veckans kötthjälte on Feb 18, 2009 at 2:32 am

[…] och Mystery Science Theater 3000. Vad nu det är. MEN. Han har i alla fall beslutat sig för att ENBART äta bacon hela februari ut - och dessutom blogga om det! Det enda i kosten som inte kommer vara detta […]
214 Samanatha on Feb 19, 2009 at 1:05 am

Well Mike, it was either nice knowing you or WOOHOO YOU MADE IT!

Either way, enjoy that bacon and enjoy some for us! I love it and God knows I don’t need it.

[Reply to this]
215 Vinnie bartilucci on Feb 19, 2009 at 11:43 am

You all realize Morgan Spurlock did something similar for 30 days, and now he’s a millionaire right? And then his girlfriend published a book about the diet she put him on to get his body back to healthy levels and now SHE’S a millionaire now, right?

The man gets to eat bacon and bang Nuveena. He is living the american dream. Cease the jealousy.

BTW Mike, are you dead yet? cause that would just throw my argument in the crapper.

[Reply to this]
216 Nathan on Feb 19, 2009 at 11:55 pm

Bah! Mike is from Wisconsin. This is NOTHING for him.

Since birth, his heart and circulatory system have been tempered by a diet of Pasbt Blue Ribbon, cheese, and sausage.

Bacon? Ha! The only way to even WOUND a midwesterner is a silver-plated kryptonite bullet dipped in holy water.

[Reply to this]
217 This is how a bumper SHOULD act in a collision - Page 5 - Tundra Solutions Forum on Feb 20, 2009 at 7:14 am

[…] rep points, but apparently I gave you too many recently. Here’s another bit of baconny goodness: Bacon Stupidity Cheers! ~A __________________ "What the world needs now are some true words of wisdom. […]
218 Old Weird Ken on Feb 20, 2009 at 6:13 pm

Have bacon with a beer,and you’ll have 3 of 4 basic food groups. Salt, Sugar, Fat, & Alcohol. Maybe have a ’screwdriver’ instead of beer for the sugar?

[Reply to this]
219 furiousBlog - in my diatribe » Blog Archive » no biggie, just shaving a lightning bolt on my ass cheek on Feb 22, 2009 at 7:50 pm

[…] A Month of Bacon […]
220 jen h on Feb 22, 2009 at 10:09 pm

Food Club bacon is really good, as is Heartland. But you have to get the thick sliced.

[Reply to this]
221 Nothing But Bacon for a Month | Vegan.com on Feb 23, 2009 at 6:22 am

[…] J. Nelson intends to eat nothing but American-style bacon for the coming month. And he’s writing about it on his blog. Dear […]
222 William Heise » It’s Bacon Month on Feb 23, 2009 at 11:05 am

[…] So says Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RiffTrax), who has decided to eat a Bacon-only diet in February. I love you, Mike, but you’re an idiot. Good luck. Tags: Posted on: 23rd of February 2009 […]
223 V the K on Feb 23, 2009 at 11:18 am

My sons and I have a dream of starting an all-bacon chain of restaurants, to be called “Makin’ Bacon,” or, perhaps, “Macon Bacon.”

Together, we could become the George Washington Carvers of bacon. People have no idea of the versatility of this miracle food. You can fry bacon, you can make bacon cheeseburgers, BLT’s, peanut butter and bacon sandwiches, bacon puffs, bacon-stuffed mushrooms, bacon spaghetti, turkey stuffed with bacon, chicken and bacon salad, bacon and bacon salad, bacon spam bacon bacon bacon and bacon, bacon ice cream, bacon chocolate chip cookies…

[Reply to this]
224 Eric on Feb 23, 2009 at 12:46 pm

This is Darwinism at its finest. Those not fit to survive deserve what they get. But every once in a while, someone steps forward who isn’t content with simply being stupid, they feel it incumbent to make themselves suffer for their stupidity. After all, how else will the stupid suffer in our society, if not by their own hand?

[Reply to this]
225 wimmwamm on Feb 23, 2009 at 1:06 pm

My ass smells like bacon. Up yours.

[Reply to this]
226 D mockracy on Feb 23, 2009 at 4:38 pm

bacon with allowances for beer, sounds like what i eat, with allowances for bacon…

[Reply to this]
227 Bea Elliott on Feb 23, 2009 at 6:36 pm

Yet one more instance to glorify gluttony and promote bad health -
Go Vegan

[Reply to this]
228 Anniee451 on Feb 23, 2009 at 7:21 pm

Since this was undertaken in the PROPER spirit - that of YAY, BACON! as opposed to the wrong spirit “SuperSizeMe” asshole Morgan Spurlock, I’m right behind you, Mike!!!

Also, I’m a huge fan from way back and I can’t believe there’s a place where we can actually talk to you. Awesome.

[Reply to this]
229 Bacon!! - Page 5 - FinalGear.com Forums on Feb 23, 2009 at 8:55 pm

[…] Nelson rules… that is all. __________________ "I haven’t got a carbon footprint. I drive […]
230 Mini-Elvis Bacon Cupcakes for Fat Tuesday « The Heavy Table on Feb 24, 2009 at 2:02 am

[…] pound of fried, maple syrup covered bacon. Mike Nelson, of Mystery Science Theater 3000, has vowed to eat nothing but bacon for the entire month of February. I, for one, have had enough of bacon and that’s why […]
231 Links of Interest (February 5th 2009 through February 24th 2009) | All the Billion Other Moments (Jason Penney) on Feb 24, 2009 at 6:01 am

[…] Bacon StupidityFor the month of February, Michael J. Nelson (MST3k, Rifftrax) has pledged to eat nothing but bacon. Yup, bacon. All month. Just bacon.Tags: humor health bacon Michael-J-Nelson Tags: bacon, BBC, canvas, cheatsheet, Colour-Recovery, Colour-Recovery-Working-Group, CSS, development, Doctor-Who, hacks, health, howto, HTML, html5, humor, inline-block, layout, Michael-J-Nelson, plugins, reference, Restoration-Team, VidFIRE, web, webdesign, wordpress […]
232 Man Can’t Live On Bacon Alone… or can we? at This Excellent Absurdity on Feb 25, 2009 at 7:55 pm

[…] can read about his progress, thoughts, and love for bacon on his blog. « The Search For […]
233 Yuk Bon | Guess who’s back? Tell a friend, tell a friend, tell a friend on Feb 25, 2009 at 9:03 pm

[…] A food so delicious that the bible forbids it. Sin with me: bacon cupcakes, Mike Nelson of Mystery Science Theater 3000 commits suicide by bacon, bacon explosion, get that […]
234 Free for All Friday 12 : Sarah Et Cetera on Feb 27, 2009 at 7:20 am

[…] sir: Bacon stupidity. Mike J. Nelson, of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax fame has spend the entire month of […]
235 Jim Brown on Feb 27, 2009 at 10:54 am

Get a full lipid profile before and after. It’s not the damage this does to you in a month..It’s what it does to you over the years. Darwin was right!!

[Reply to this]
Reply from Stan (Heretic) on March 2, 2009:
Jim Brown wrote: “Get a full lipid profile before and after. It’s not the damage this does to you in a month..It’s what it does to you over the years. Darwin was right!!”

Hi f1jim,

I have been eating mostly animal fat: 60-80% of calories day after day since 1999 and if there were anything true in the mainstream heart disease theory then I would have been dead long time ago.

Is ten years not long enough?

Yours,
Heretic
236 The Bacon Nation » Blog Archive » The Month of Bacon on Mar 1, 2009 at 2:21 pm

[…] Original source. […]
237 The Beak » Mike Nelson Gives All-Bacon Diet a Thumbs-Up on Mar 3, 2009 at 5:45 pm

[…] January 31, Nelson made the following announcement in his RiffTrax blog: “For the entire month of February, 2009, I, Michael J. Nelson will eat […]
238 Mike Nelson’s bacon parade comes to a close… « YourHollywoodNews.com on Mar 14, 2009 at 1:49 pm

[…] March approaches, I figure a lot of people are going to be wondering how Mike’s Bacon Stupidity month fared. Well, it’s been an interesting past couple of days here at RiffTrax HQ. The lingering […]
239 Alex on Apr 11, 2009 at 11:13 am

You’re my master, only bacon is real.

[Reply to this]
240 Echosolace on Apr 27, 2009 at 7:16 pm

I recently became a vegetarian, and the irony of me doing something like this is pretty big. I’m just headed in the opposite direction.

It’s shit. The diet that is. O god, Bacon… Nothing like it. At least I’m living in a place where bacon never rears it’s beautiful succulent face. You have no idea how much I miss it, along with prime rib, Fuck it’s still an hour until lunch… Look what you’ve done.

Next time you take a bite, think of how horrible this world would be without it. *whimper*

[Reply to this]
241 Further feeding the bacon obsession… | NJM on May 5, 2009 at 10:48 am

[…] Actually, my fondness in bacon truly pales when considering things like the Bacon Prayer and people who eat nothing but bacon for nearly an entire month. You’ve also got baconwear and bacon accessories, bacon band-aids, bacon lunchboxes… […]
242 For all you MST3K fans out there… « Twenty Palaces on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:53 pm

[…] favorite Mike Nelson has decided to end his life, a rasher at a […]
243 mike on Jul 21, 2009 at 10:17 am

hey
u still alive ?
hows your pos

[Reply to this]
244 RP on Aug 15, 2009 at 3:06 am

I just read about this. A few months late, I know. How did Michael go with this? Very, very curious to know. I’m an American transplanted to Australia. Recently got into a discussion about what was better for you, banana’s or bacon. I went with big,bad bacon.

[Reply to this]

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Bacon Stupidity

January 31st, 2009 by Mike Nelson · 307 Comments

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