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Quick Review

February 7th, 2009 by Mike Nelson · 75 Comments

meatyBreakfast and lunch consisted of Smithfield thick sliced. My main impression: meaty. I’m not entirely sure I like my bacon to be meaty, but Smithfield bacon didn’t seem to care. It just went ahead and was meaty without concerning itself with my feelings on the matter.

If I were going to write a slogan for Smithfield bacon it would most certainly acknowledge the meatiness issue: “Smithfield Bacon: Mighty Meaty”, or perhaps, “Fat, meet meat”. Maybe “The Bacon that thinks it’s a ham (it’s that meaty!)” Or “Meat up, with Smithfield bacon.”

Beat those, Smithfield ad copy writing team!

Tags: Month o' Bacon · bacon

75 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Geena on Feb 7, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    I got some Gwaltney regular-sliced this past time; I am VERY pleasantly surprised by its consistency, and it has a good level of saltiness.

  • 2 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 7, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    I prefer a meaty bacon m’self.

  • 3 j. cunningham on Feb 7, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    it’s meatier than (kevin) bacon. watch “footloose”….. eat some corn.

  • 4 Wesley Stamper on Feb 7, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Smithfield Bacon:

    “Measure for Measure, More Meaty Pleasure!”

    (That ended up sounding less Shakespearian and more Quentin Crispian than intended, sorry.)

  • 5 Chris Hughes on Feb 7, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    Ad scenario:

    An anorexic supermodel in a gauzy frock sullenly weight-shifts from hip to hip for your consideration. Suddenly, a big palooka lurches into the frame and throws a looping right, knocking her cold.

    Tag: “Smithfield Bacon. Meat Up.”

    It could work.

  • 6 Chris Hughes on Feb 7, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    For proper effect, you’d have to hire an actor who could voice it like The Great Gildersleeve.

  • 7 awfulgoodmovies on Feb 7, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    Thanks for the review!

    How much sodium does this product contain? I can’t handle too much sodium.

  • 8 awfulgoodmovies on Feb 7, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Please! This a family site…Take your smut elsewhere.

  • 9 jfe on Feb 7, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    How about “Meatfield” bacon, from smithfield.

  • 10 Ryan on Feb 7, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    Not meaty? You prefer it fatty, then?

  • 11 Ryan on Feb 7, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    Shouldn’t it be a fat model, then? If it has meat instead of being all fat?

  • 12 Tim on Feb 7, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    “Wouldn’t YOU like to taste Smithfield’s meat?”

  • 13 NanoRiffite on Feb 7, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    To meat, or not to meat — that is the bacon.

  • 14 Scott on Feb 7, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    In one Ren and Stimpy episode – their adopted “kid” Kowalski wants a meat sandwich and a glass of meat.

    Smithfield could license Kowalski for their “Dell dude”.

    In other stories, “One brave lad walked into his local Burger King restaurant, ordered a value meal, and made a special request. He wanted his Whopper topped with 60 slices of bacon. (I. Heart. Him.) Did BK live up to its have-it-your-way promise? See for yourself and read more.”

  • 15 Mr. Slick on Feb 7, 2009 at 11:01 pm

    You want REAL bacon? Try Irish bacon. It’s thick and meaty and NOT ham like Canadian “bacon”

  • 16 Darth Chimay on Feb 8, 2009 at 2:04 am

    It’s funny. I said the exact same thing about Michael Damian.

  • 17 Mr. Alexander on Feb 8, 2009 at 6:30 am

    So, next month are we going to be treated to Bill eating nothing but autographed photos of Joey Pants? Followed by Conor swallowing state quarters until he succumbs to zinc poisoning?

  • 18 chrismartindeed on Feb 8, 2009 at 8:02 am

    Mike, dear, Mike.

    It’s time to stop to stop this madness and get that pig off your back.

    A bacon diet will only spoil your svelte figure and ruin your doughy, Midwestern good looks.

    And, unlike sex addiction, an insatiable craving for bacon can be difficult to treat.

  • 19 Ben on Feb 8, 2009 at 8:15 am

    Mike, you will be documenting any odd growths and changes in your appearance during this month, correct? Don’t forget changes in behavior, especially as the full moon approaches. I’m really hoping you somehow stumble across the lost Czech bacon formula to turn yourself into a Were-swine.

  • 20 Remmie Barrow on Feb 8, 2009 at 9:53 am

    Yeah, that burnt to a crisp bacon always tasted too nasty to me.

  • 21 Valdsifox on Feb 8, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    Good point, Ben (#15)…. but what’s scaring me more than Mike possibly mutating, or at least developing severe bacon dependency (eventually requiring a vocal, emotional, dramatic intervention by Bill and Kevin,followed by a long stint in rehab for “pork exhaustion”), is the thought that… no, it can’t be.. Mike, what if, in a month, you eat your lifetime fill of bacon, and can’t touch another strip come March? Facing a baconless life after, like an alcoholic avoiding the booze aisle at Safeway, shivering in sweat and regret? I have faith in you, Mike… ANYone who spent more than a day in Minnesota or Wisconsin should be immune to pork fat saturation, but… please be careful, the alternative makes a hog farmer weep.

  • 22 AJ on Feb 8, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    I love how all the ads down the right hand side of every single blog Mike posts are about meat!

    Find a local butcher, find a great recipe for ham, meat processing & packaging and my personal favorite……The well hung meat co. *snickers like the girl I am*

  • 23 AJ on Feb 8, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    Oh! Do you go funny on a full moon too? Because I do.

  • 24 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 8, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    I too predict that this stunt might end bacon’s greatest love affair.

  • 25 AJ on Feb 8, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Kevin Bacon…Pffft. I’ve seen more meat on a cold chip!

  • 26 Krunchy on Feb 8, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Smithfield Bacon … The Bacon that Bacon would eat if it were cannibalistic., and not processed in any way, or packaged … forget we said anything please. GO AWAY!! REALLY!! WHAT THE HELL?

  • 27 DoughyGuy on Feb 8, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    Mike! Next in your quest for Baco-Nirvana, seek out Panchetta…

    Or, someone gave me an idea the other day that I have yet to try… Get a slab of bacon, cut it yourself – thickly. Then slather in BBQ sauce and grill…

  • 28 MarSay-Austin on Feb 8, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    I lit a bacon-scented candle in my window for the love of Mike Nelson.

  • 29 Keith Fisher on Feb 8, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    can I just offer you my respect and support for your courage and vanguard-i-ness in your bacon quest. I love bacon. Smoked streaky bacon is best I find. Especially when it’s been cooked in the fat from a roast chicken.

  • 30 Nick Fechter on Feb 8, 2009 at 5:19 pm


  • 31 Steve Ruiz on Feb 8, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    MST3k got me laid last week. Just wanted you to know that.

    p.s. it was pod people

  • 32 Lord Bob on Feb 8, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    Trumpy! You can do sexy things!

  • 33 ms chii on Feb 8, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    *snort* my fiancee jumps at the word “bacon!” he wasn’t really intersted in kevin bacon though when he came on beauty shop. he even said that the ribbons on my flowers would look like bacon.

  • 34 jack on Feb 8, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    I applaud this strange insane bacon quest of yours as well as the near contempt it shows you have for your own psychical well being!

    My slogan:

    Meat is murder but fuck THE SMITHS!-
    Smithfield Bacon!

    (works well in that crucial 15-32 market)

  • 35 Natureboy (Ken) on Feb 8, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    Great, thoughts of Mike eating a Kevin Bacon is going to terrify me for weeks…..thanks a pant load!

  • 36 Shawn on Feb 8, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    I will vote for “Meat up” if – IF – Bill and Kevin will mock you for making such a good/bad joke. It could be like something from some kind of basic-cable comedy show! A skit, if you will.

  • 37 John Baber on Feb 9, 2009 at 3:53 am

    I’m a big fan of many Rifftrax and MST3k, but I’m going to have to stop following your blog until March. It’s making me nauseous.

  • 38 Ben on Feb 9, 2009 at 4:51 am

    Imagine if Mike posted videos of his actual meals. It might be like watching Zoidberg at a free buffet.

  • 39 Nick Fechter on Feb 9, 2009 at 5:12 am


  • 40 Adam on Feb 9, 2009 at 7:10 am

    Best bacon I ever had in my life was at Peter Luger’s Steakhouse, and it was very thick and VERY meaty. About as thick as a slice of ham, but it still tasted like bacon through and through. It was heaven, in bacon form.

  • 41 Geena on Feb 9, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    That’s right kids — Don’t eat your bacon, and you could grow up to be JUST LIKE MORISSEY.

  • 42 Mr. Slick on Feb 9, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    Hope you didn’t stink

  • 43 AJ on Feb 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm


  • 44 MarSay-Austin on Feb 15, 2009 at 5:23 pm


  • 45 SexSlave on Apr 27, 2011 at 1:22 am

    ペン型 ビデオカメラ:

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