The RiffTrax Blog header image 1

Regarding Henry’s

February 16th, 2009 by Mike Nelson · 82 Comments

SN851066I missed a purely slab bacon weekend by only one meal consisting of Henry’s thick sliced*. This was the thickest thick slice I have yet encountered and comes about as close to my ideal slice thickness as I can get without slicing it myself (the preceding sentence was brought to you by the word “slice”).

After one tasting I’m almost ready to declare it my favorite bacon so far (now more than halfway through Bacon Stupidity Month). However, much more testing is needed. There are many pounds of Tip Top’s slab bacon and double smoked slab bacon waiting in the larder that just may have some choice words for Henry’s (and no doubt they’d pronounce it “OHN-reesz” with a contemptuous sneer if they could talk.) Conor also provided me with a jaw-droppingly expensive packet of The Linkery’s “pastured and sustainably raised” bacon for which I have justifiably high expectations.

To sum up then – there are not enough days in a month where bacon is concerned. I may have to rethink.

*Make sure to click the thumb for a gorgeous close-up.

Tags: Month o' Bacon · bacon

82 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Catfish on Feb 16, 2009 at 11:47 am

    How bad is the ketosis? Does it smell like your pores are leaking nail polish remover yet?

  • 2 Bruce Murray on Feb 16, 2009 at 11:58 am

    I tried Henry’s bacon. But it didn’t agree with me (can you pull over at the next Arco station).

  • 3 Mike Nelson on Feb 16, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    No, I’m “keto-adapted”, so no problems. I am, however, not Kato-adapted, i.e., I still have a strong aversion to Kato Kaelin.

  • 4 R.A. Roth on Feb 16, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    I tried Kevin Bacon. Didn’t care for it one bit. Footloose is an appalling flavor, and Six Degrees isn’t hot enough to cook pork products.

    Randy

  • 5 Lord Bob on Feb 16, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    Wow. I’ve seen children less thick than that bacon. If I had a hole in my muffler, that bacon looks thick enough to make for an effective and delicious repair.

  • 6 James Shearhart on Feb 16, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    Wow. A Kato Kaelin joke in this Day and Age. Astonishing! You are truly a Master of Obscurity, by which I mean as a compliment, especially if such cognitive activity is actually a manifestation of dietary deficiencies….

    Also, my girlfriend has a killer (in all senses of the word) carbonara recipe that I can pass on, if that counts as bacon ingestion….

  • 7 Elizabeth Young on Feb 16, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    To satisfy your bacon fetish you should become a bacon of the month member. I gave it to a friend as a going away present and amid all the snickering of other friends, it remains, to this day his favorite gift of all time.

    12 months of glorious pig back, delivered to your home. Think about it Mike…think about it

  • 8 AJ on Feb 16, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    I wish I hadn’t read that. Just home from rehearsal and now wanting bacon. None in the house. Typical.

    *goes off to find stale loaf of bread*

  • 9 Remmie Barrow on Feb 16, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    The down side to that is a million more dogs will be chasing your car around.

  • 10 Kim on Feb 16, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    May I also recommend…the Patron Saint of Bacon? For fellow Catholic Bacon lovers everywhere.

    Not kidding either:

    (Warning. The following is a pathetic and shameless plug of the authors blog.)
    http://stpatrickprayforus.blogspot.com/2009/02/patron-saint-ofbacon.html

  • 11 Robert Denby on Feb 16, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    You certainly couldn’t use that bacon for a bookmark.

  • 12 Onil on Feb 16, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    “To sum up then – there are not enough days in a month where bacon is concerned. I may have to rethink.”

    Dare I suggest a Summer of Bacon?

  • 13 NanoRiffite on Feb 16, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    My. That’s some thick-slicing there.

  • 14 Mike Nelson on Feb 16, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    I like the cut of your jib.

    (And I like the cut of your bacon, which from here looks to be thick-sliced.)

  • 15 Heather on Feb 16, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    Out of curiosity, how have you been preparing your bacon? Using a standard stove-top frying pan, baking in the oven, or some fancy microwave gadgetry? Or some combination?

  • 16 Clint on Feb 16, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Nicely maintained cuticles.

    …hey, it was worth mentioning.

  • 17 Laura on Feb 16, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    That… doesn’t look right :P .

  • 18 Mike Nelson on Feb 16, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    The sheer volume of bacon has necessitated a combination of oven bake/broil that works nicely and doesn’t overly irritate the rest of the family.

  • 19 Ben on Feb 17, 2009 at 4:48 am

    Have you ambled beyond bacon made from pork yet?

  • 20 Montagthemagician on Feb 17, 2009 at 5:37 am

    That’s some damn fine looking bacon.

  • 21 Smuttynose on Feb 17, 2009 at 6:15 am

    I must also ask- what is being done with all of the bacon grease? Are SoCal birds getting fat on suet?

  • 22 Schadenfreudist on Feb 17, 2009 at 6:26 am

    Bacon suggestion: have you considered the British Back Bacon from Fresh & Easy? Hands down the best I’ve ever had.

    Note: Your bacon mileage may vary.

  • 23 MayorMcCheese on Feb 17, 2009 at 7:16 am

    I think he’ll have enough bacon grease to power a small fleet of cars. Cars with very delicious exhaust gases!!

  • 24 AJ on Feb 17, 2009 at 7:43 am

    And I would back that up. It is simply wonderful. Smoked British Back Bacon. I had that for brunch today :)

  • 25 Nerf on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:14 am

    Yes Mike, your thumb is gorgeous.

  • 26 Mr. Alexander on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:15 am

    The upside is that the exhaust fumes would simultaneously heat and smoke-cure it!

  • 27 Mr. Alexander on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:19 am

    I’m starting to worry that Mike’s car is going to break down on some lonely California highway, and he’ll find himself miles from civilization with nothing but several bags of trailmix and fresh vegetables. Faced with starvation, he’ll be forced to cut thick strips off his own arm, smoke cure them with a zippo, and then fry them on the sizzling exhaust manifold…

  • 28 Brit on Feb 17, 2009 at 9:02 am

    I’d be interested to know to what extent bacon is now dominating your life, in a way that food normally wouldn’t.

    Given that you can only eat bacon, does this mean that you think of little else? Are you, for example, unable to fully concentrate on driving, doing the laundry, typing emails etc because you keep thinking about bacon? Do irrelevant bacon jokes keep popping into your head when you’re trying to riff, at which your fellow riffers merely look bemused or increasingly angry? Do you dream about bacon?

    Or does it not really come up except at mealtimes?

    These are kinds of things your readership DEMANDS to know.

  • 29 Mike Nelson on Feb 17, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Mmmm, arm bacon….

  • 30 Onil on Feb 17, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Please, do consider it seriously. There could be no better way to make Memorial Day more memorable. And it would be ever so satisfying to end Labor Day with a labor of love…of bacon.

  • 31 Dean on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Mike, worry not about those expensive cuts. This guy is all you need.

    And if you thought, “Bleargh!” when you saw him, well sir… you thought right.

  • 32 Mr. Alexander on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Good God, Nelson’s got the taste for bacon he can neither raise nor buy! Bill and Kevin, don’t turn your meaty backs on him…

  • 33 DCPoster on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:22 am

    Please please please tell us how you feel, if you’ve lost weight or gained it, how thirsty you’ve become…something, anything about the effects this is having on your life. Thanks.

  • 34 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

    I agree, you gotta like a guy who takes care of his hands. :-)

  • 35 Geena on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:50 am

    That looks delicious. We had to go cheap on our bacon purchases this last shopping trip, so I’m jonesing for some thick-cut.

  • 36 AJ on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:53 am

    Not sure if you’ve seen this one?

    http://www.mcphee.com/items/11076.html

  • 37 FryDaddy on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:59 am

    Mike, as basic panfried bacon is too cliche for an undertaking of this caliber, I wholeheartedly recommend trying your bacon deep fried.

    In lard.

    I made some this morning using wonderful Bar-S thick slice, 350F in lard for about a minute and a half.

  • 38 Heather on Feb 17, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    You think maybe he’s Dale?

  • 39 Earl Fando on Feb 17, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Mike can always leave out the pasta and heavy cream, right?

  • 40 Earl Fando on Feb 17, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Does this mean that Henry’s bacon isn’t a brand name? Henry must be quite a guy.

  • 41 jfruh on Feb 17, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    Why not up the ante and bread it?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_fried_bacon

  • 42 NanoRiffite on Feb 17, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    The main reason I almost never eat bacon at home is that I prefer stove-top frying it in an iron frying pan, and it got so I just hated the cleanup part. I’ve tried microwaving a few times, with unhappy results, and I pretty much never use the oven, so it’s frying for me.

    So, I obtain my minimum weekly allowance of bacon by buying bacon-ized options whenever eating out, and I eat out often. (where “eating out” means “eating at cheap fast-food places”).

  • 43 Kim on Feb 17, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    I wonder how bacon would taste with my Guinness beer batter…

    Actually thats a ridiculous thought…the answer is good of course! Can’t go wrong with bacon and Guinness.

  • 44 k1 on Feb 17, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    Mike, I trust we will see you rocking some sort of ink along these lines once you complete this momentous challenge?

  • 45 k1 on Feb 17, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Guess it didn’t post the image… Well, just follow this link I guess.

    http://www.lolpix.com/_pics/Funny_Pictures_487/Funny_Pictures_48712.jpg

  • 46 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 17, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    That looks sorta like a bacon awareness ribbon. Rifftrax, do you smell a merchandising opportunity?

  • 47 FryDaddy on Feb 19, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    jfruh, have you no shame?

    Let’s help Mike stick to the true diet, not your watery whorish version with flour and egg.

  • 48 Scott on Feb 20, 2009 at 8:11 am

    Shouldn’t that be spring bacon and fall beef? With a summer of love in between.

  • 49 Scott on Feb 20, 2009 at 8:18 am

    That site has a *separate button* you can click for “stupid products”. As if.

  • 50 meteorologio on Sep 6, 2009 at 3:28 am

    Wow people, it’s Labor Day! I’m happy with my extra day off, and I am planning to make something fun that will probably involve a car trip and seeing something new in Gardnerville Ranchos I haven’t seen yet.
    You write something new on a Monday at the labor day? … hAPpy BLOGGIng!

  • 51 roy on Jan 17, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    i like it!
    falling teardrops!…
    dats the way i feel!

  • 52 フィンペシア通販 on Aug 19, 2011 at 2:15 am

    1フィンペシア通販はこちらが安心です。

  • 53 フィンペシア通販 on Aug 19, 2011 at 2:16 am

    2フィンペシア通販はこちらが安心です。

  • 54 フィンペシア通販 on Aug 19, 2011 at 2:16 am

    3フィンペシア通販はこちらが安心です。

  • 55 フィンペシア通販 on Aug 19, 2011 at 2:16 am

    4フィンペシア通販はこちらが安心です。

  • 56 フィンペシア通販 on Aug 19, 2011 at 2:16 am

    フィンペシア通販はこちらが安心です。5

  • 57 フィンペシア通販 on Aug 19, 2011 at 2:17 am

    フィンペシア通販はこちらが安心です。6

  • 58 離婚調停 on Aug 19, 2011 at 2:17 am

    離婚調停

  • 59 プロペシア通販 on Aug 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    プロペシアの口コミ評判
    1プロペシア通販は個人輸入代行をりようします。
    ロゲイン通販
    カークランドの通販
    フィンペシア
    ロゲインの口コミ評判

  • 60 プロペシア通販 on Aug 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    2プロペシア通販は個人輸入代行をりようします。
    ミノキシジルタブレット通販

    ミノキシジル
    フィンペシア価格
    プロペシア通販
    ロゲイン通販業者比較