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Fighting the bacon ennui

February 17th, 2009 by Mike Nelson · 44 Comments

Reader Brit (of the excellent blog Think of England — read his own fine bacon post here — commented: I’d be interested to know to what extent bacon is now dominating your life, in a way that food normally wouldn’t…Do you dream about bacon? Or does it not really come up except at mealtimes?

The latter gets nearest to the truth. Bacon still sheds its beauty and light on me at every meal, but it also has the odd effect of thoroughly blunting my hunger and never does it cross my mind, “All right! I get to eat BACON in less than two hours! Bacon HeightThis ennui creeping into my otherwise blissful marriage to bacon led to my trying to spice things up a little between the two of us. For tonight’s meal, I attempted to add some height to the presentation, just like they do in restaurants that serve things other than bacon.

It was an unqualified success.

I love you bacon. I love you so much.

Tags: Month o' Bacon · RiffTrax · bacon

44 responses so far ↓

  • 1 valdisfox on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    To stave off possible bacon ennui, have you allowed yourself to try any items from the “periphery” of the bacon world, Mike? For example, I don’t really consider Canadian “bacon” to be bacon in the least (sorry Canada, the rest of the world calls it “thinly sliced ham”), yet I would not begrudge your adding it to your diet, nor bacon “bits” (real ones, not those dyed-red fragments of pumice-like soy protein you find haunting salad bars). I’d even let you eat Spam, the meatlike, baconesque cube product from Minnesota if you got desperate. Where does bacon begin and end for you? I ask only to spur debate and because I am too lazy to do a Google image search for of those dotted-like-meat-cut diagrams of a pig. ^.^

  • 2 jfe on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    Whoa, did your brush with Torgo bring out this creativity in you? And is the stockholm syndrome kicking in?

  • 3 Kim on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    Three years of Culinary School (for a two year degree) and all the platings within them and none could ever come as close as that magnificent piece above. Beautiful Mike, as a nearly qualified chef I commend your work.

  • 4 Mike Nelson on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    Sorry, valdisfox: my rules, while not being a Rule of St. Basil by any means, are strict enough that they disallow anything but traditional smoked bacon.

  • 5 Gina on Feb 17, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    “does it not really come up except at mealtimes?”

    Um, Brit, you might consider rewording that. On an all-bacon diet, I’m afraid it’s likely to “come up” all too often.

  • 6 OxfordProle on Feb 17, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    Two things:

    1) Brit, you really do have an excellent blog.

    2) Mike, congratulations on your new marriage. Clearly the tender love of Bacon is healing any wounds that you may have incurred after your former wife left you for Big Knees. I’d like to send a gift if you and Bacon have a wedding registry.

  • 7 Constantine on Feb 17, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    Here’s a bacony treat to serve as desert following your bacon-filled meals:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate_covered_bacon

    You are WELCOME.

  • 8 Chinese Porkman on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Mike Nelson… Bacon’s hostage in the glorious revolutionary struggle against soy.

  • 9 Chinese Porkman on Feb 17, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    If some added sugar is allowed (and it really should be as it is a primary ingredient in cured meats anyway)…

    Pig Candy:
    http://thebredafallacy.blogspot.com/2008/09/sweet-meat.html

  • 10 Constantine on Feb 18, 2009 at 1:02 am

    It looks good enough to barely stomach. Let’s get Mike some!

  • 11 Brit on Feb 18, 2009 at 1:50 am

    Thanks Mike – both for the insights and the kind words. And to OxfordProle too.

    I will have to return the favour – a plug from Think of England should send at least, oooh, three new limey readers to Rifftrax. If you’re lucky.

  • 12 Brit on Feb 18, 2009 at 3:39 am

    I never reword anything, Gina, it’s a point of principle. Let your phrases run free and unmolested.

  • 13 attaturk on Feb 18, 2009 at 3:52 am

    I love you bacon. I love you so much.

    This has gone from disturbing idea, to self-imposed “Stockholm Syndrome” I’m afraid.

    Sadly, if you were on an all-bacon diet and actually in Stockholm at least you could count on the universal health care helping out with your bypass.

  • 14 cannuk on Feb 18, 2009 at 4:07 am

    valdisfox wrote:
    “For example, I don’t really consider Canadian “bacon” to be bacon in the least (sorry Canada, the rest of the world calls it “thinly sliced ham”),”

    Time to clear up a common American misconception. “Canadian bacon” is an American invention. Perhaps a Canadian fellow was pulling an American’s leg one day and convinced him that in Canada what you call ham, we call bacon (see Ric Mercer’s Talking with Americans), and the joke just snowballed from there. But if you go to a Canadian grocery store, you won’t find “Canadian Bacon”. If you ask for bacon on your burger at any restaurant, you’ll get 2-4 small strips of the exact same stuff that you’re used to seeing.
    What we DO have (in grocery stores and some restaurants, although rarely the fast-food types) is peameal bacon and/or back bacon. Which is pretty close to smoked ham, but usually less processed.
    SO, if you’re eating at a Denny’s or some such, and they try passing “thinly sliced ham” off as “Canadian Bacon”, know that this is actually an American trying to profit off YOUR ignorance of your Northern neighbour.
    And misrepresenting bacon is a crime no mater what country you live in! :)

  • 15 Ben on Feb 18, 2009 at 5:01 am

    Here is your finale for last day…the bacon explosion.

    http://www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/recipes/bacon-explosion/

  • 16 Mike Finley on Feb 18, 2009 at 7:28 am

    There really is no love like the love between a man and his bacon.

    A deeply disturbing and, dare I say it, sometimes salty love.

  • 17 Damon on Feb 18, 2009 at 7:40 am

    I am the bacon-eater,
    And I know just where I stand:
    Another cured meat eater
    Another trans-fat man
    Today I am your champion.
    although I may have clogged my heart
    But I know the game,
    You will forget my name,
    And I won’t be here
    In another year,
    If I keep eating salted pork.

  • 18 AJ on Feb 18, 2009 at 8:11 am

    I was going to attempt to take pictures of the bacon section in my local supermarket today, you know, so you could ‘look’ at bacon while not eating it, (Adsa, the sister company of your Wal-Mart) but some shelf stacker was in my way and I feared not only getting my mobile phone confiscated, but a lifelong ban from my food shopping haven that is, Adsa :/

  • 19 Barry Z. Van on Feb 18, 2009 at 8:21 am

    Well, hello there!

    I had a similarly arranged bacon plate at the premier of “My Demon Lover” (or was it “Date With an Angel”?). Washed it down with a fuzzy navel and three imipramines, then headed to the premier of “Hot Chile”.

    Thanks for the memories, Mike!

  • 20 zack on Feb 18, 2009 at 8:44 am

    The pictured bacon looks awful.

    (this is coming from a vegetarian, so take that for what it’s worth)

  • 21 OxfordProle on Feb 18, 2009 at 8:51 am

    !!!! Take your filth off this wholesome board! There are children present!

    (I kid, please don’t hit.)

  • 22 Katie M. on Feb 18, 2009 at 9:26 am

    I love how Brit refers to the show as “Mystery Science Jamboree Big Top Theatre 3000″. Heehee, clever Brits, I do <3 you so……. ;-D

  • 23 Earl Fando on Feb 18, 2009 at 9:51 am

    The pic reminds me of an Iron Chef “Bacon Battle,” except they’d ruin it by adding all sorts of unnecessary ingredients, like truffles, caviar, escargot, sea urchin, daikon, etc.

    On the other hand, I’d really like to take a shot at a bowl of bacon ice-cream. I suppose these things balance out in the end.

  • 24 AlexB on Feb 18, 2009 at 10:45 am

    I don’t think I had even heard the term “back bacon” until it was uttered on MST3K. Now peameal bacon, that’s new to me.

  • 25 jennifer on Feb 18, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Thank you, cannuk :) I brought that up way back when Mike first started this bacon thing. I have this discussion with my American friends at least once a month (for some reason…) Bacon here is just like bacon there. No idea where this “Canadian bacon” thing has come from. It DID inspire a great movie, though, so that’s something… :P

  • 26 jennifer on Feb 18, 2009 at 11:05 am

    P.S. Talking to Americans is one of the greatest things ever of all time to ever happen ever ever ever… :)

  • 27 Sensei_Rebel on Feb 18, 2009 at 11:21 am

    Mike, some of us are worried about your wallaby. Cuz we know your wallaby means a lot to you.

  • 28 zack on Feb 18, 2009 at 11:25 am

    @OxfordProle,

    Don’t worry, being a vegetarian, my hits are like soft soft cotton balls gently tap-tappin’ at your general direction.

  • 29 Brit on Feb 18, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Aha! My diagnosis exactly coincides, Attaturk. You are obviously a man of rare and sophisticated insight, well done.

  • 30 The Killmobile on Feb 18, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    I think the ultimate example for your unending love for bacon would be to have this be your first post-Bacon Stupidity Month meal.

    http://www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/recipes/bacon-explosion/

    Of course, I expect much more variety and substitutions in your final recipe.

  • 31 Remmie Barrow on Feb 18, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    {I love you bacon. I love you so much}

    Wow…Get a room, you two.

  • 32 valdisfox on Feb 18, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    Thank you, Mike. The rules are quite clear, forgive my ignorance and for suggesting you dilute the purity of your bacon commitment for even a moment. As for cannuck, jennifer and any other sniveling, wrong-football-rules following, metric-coddling nit-pickers, do not presume to rob genuine North Americans of our ignorance! It is a treasure that we…. treasure! Our forefathers dumped tea in the Austin harbor in 1812 for a reason, to drive Queen Victoria and her Canadian-bacon-loving Roundhead minions BACK to Quebec, to wallow in their very well-deserved and eternal shame. But don’t take my word for it, heed Mike’s rules themselves: “No ‘Canadian bacon’, which is really just lunchmeat.” So until the Canadian government launches a multimillion dollar public relations blitz aimed precisely at correcting the misnomer you yourselves created, and that proves successful enough to compel Pizza Hut to remove that accursed thinly sliced ham you call bacon from their menus worldwide, I shall not dislodge my complaint. That someone simply “made up” the name for Canadian bacon seems suspect at best. I supposed next you’ll be telling me Hagen Daaz, Gogurt and Freedom Fries are silly, unfair, made-up and misleading food names, too! *sigh* Sorry, Mike. The constant antagonism from our larger, more belligerent, fiery-tempered Latin neighbor to the north can really cut a guy, you know? Cut him deep and even, like Neuske’s Applewood Smoked Bacon. I’m gonna get me a pound right now, the sizzling and nitrates help calm me down…

  • 33 Beth on Feb 18, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    Dear God, I just watched Warwilf with a friend the other day.
    Yadaglachi, Baby!

  • 34 Rikua on Feb 18, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    Technically, they have an entire website…

    That’s better, BIGGER than a room.

  • 35 Bullwinkle on Feb 19, 2009 at 5:36 am

    I found myself staring at the bacon at wholefoods for an inappropriately long time last night.

  • 36 Thersites on Feb 19, 2009 at 5:49 am

    Yup, nothing rekindles that old passion like building a bacon campfire, does it?

  • 37 News Notebook » Blog Archive » Afternoon Delight: The Bacon edition on Feb 19, 2009 at 9:40 am

    [...] A blog from Mike Nelson, of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame, who is only eating bacon for the month of [...]

  • 38 Missy on Feb 20, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    Some bacon art for you; perhaps a potential tattoo?

    http://www.designspongeonline.com/2009/02/bacon-anyone.html

  • 39 Michelle on Feb 21, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    Bacon and honey. Bacon and Honey. Bacon and Honey.
    I can’t have my bacon without honey drizzled over it.

  • 40 mrp on Feb 23, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    So many characters, so many points of view. It’s like that epic, “Rashermon”.

  • 41 Lisa Comrie on Feb 25, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    Mike,
    WOW. You are almost there.
    Not sure if you are aware but National Pig Day is March 1st.
    Timing could not be better.
    http://www.holidayinsights.com/other/pigday.htm
    - Lisa Comrie

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