While looking up whether or not Dunkaroos still exist, (they do), I found this confounding graphic on Amazon.
These items are “frequently” bought together? Really? A box of 14 six-packs of Cinnamon Dunkaroos with Vanilla frosting and sprinkles, a variety pack of 24 Dunkaroos (you’d have to imagine half Cinnamon/Vanilla & Sprinkles, half Honey/Chocolate) and a four pack of 14.2 ounce boxes of Rice Krispie Treats cereal?
Now, not for a moment do I doubt that the discerning Dunkaroos eaters out there would also be interested in eating Rice Krispie Treats cereal. But let’s break this down just a little bit.
Let’s speculate as to how many people have used amazon.com to purchase Dunkaroos. I think it would be fair to say that we would all be shocked if more than 1000 people had done this at some point in time in their lives. And how many of these people look at their box of 84 packs of Cinnamon Graham with Vanilla Frosting and Sprinkles Dunkaroos and think, “I’d like another flavor. Now, I know I already have a lot of Cinnamon Graham with Vanilla Frosting and Sprinkles Dunkaroos, but I really want Honey Graham with Chocolate Frosting Dunkaroos, and frankly, if I have to buy 12 more packs of Cinnamon Graham with Vanilla Frosting and Sprinkles to get them, so be it.”
Again, you would be floored, utterly astounded if a quarter of the dunkaroos purchasers, 250 people, had ever done this.
And THEN, how many of those 250 people think that the perfect way to cap off this order would be four boxes of Rice Krispy Treats Cereal? Three? You’d eat your hat if there were three.
You and I know full well that this has never happened. It would be a miracle. And yet, Amazon claims it happens “Frequently”.
Which either means one of two things: that the Amazon robots are just upselling random combinations of crap and hoping we won’t notice, or that humanity as a whole is quite different than I have spent my entire life believing. And, I’m sad to say, I’m leaning towards option B.