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Bacon Contrition

February 27th, 2009 by Conor Lastowka · 121 Comments

As March approaches, I figure a lot of people are going to be wondering how Mike’s Bacon Stupidity month fared. Well, it’s been an interesting past couple of days here at RiffTrax HQ. The lingering smell of bacon, which had been omnipresent for the month of February, no longer loomed in the air. (This was especially odd, since Mike never actually cooked the bacon at work and ate most of his lunches at home.) After three days, I finally realized what was amiss: I hadn’t seen Mike all week. Various people around the office confirmed it, and I was about to settle back into my chair and move on with my life when my iPhone lit up with a new email.

And I don’t even own an iPhone.

It was a brief email, terse even by twitter standards. “Press onference Tomorrow. Steps 3PM. No baon.” (the ‘C’ key on my imaginary iPhone does not work. Evidently this prevents the iPhone from properly displaying the letter C when it occurs in other peoples emails.)

What followed was a press conference that will hopefully answer any questions you or your loved ones may have about how Mike’s grand experiment with an all-bacon diet ended up working out:

Tags: Month o' Bacon · RiffTrax · bacon · video

121 responses so far ↓

  • 1 AJ on Feb 27, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    LOL! Fan-bloody-tastic! I love you Mike!

  • 2 OxfordProle on Feb 27, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    This started getting weird a while ago, didn’t it?

  • 3 Slade Rockfist on Feb 27, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    Video no longer available……help?

  • 4 Slade Rockfist on Feb 27, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    Ok nevermind, it works now

  • 5 Rob on Feb 27, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    The shutter clicks and camera flashes are awesome. Very nicely done on everyone’s part there.

  • 6 ambitiously stupid on Feb 27, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Very A-Rod like confession Mr. Nelson.

  • 7 Kyle on Feb 27, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    So did Mike get jail time for this, or have the sentencing hearings not taken place yet?

  • 8 Wesley Stamper on Feb 27, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I’m beginning to wonder if I might not be the victim of extraterrestrial hypnotism. There’s NO WAY everything you guys do can be so good!

    Occam’s Razor persuades me that the likelihood that I am strapped to a Martian chaise lounge whilst being inundated with psychic pulses designed to induce favorable responses to “humorous” content is FAR more likely than believing that you guys can get it right so frequently.

    So, drop dead alien bastards! I don’t believe in ‘if’ anymore!

    Signed,
    Roger Whittaker (Deranged)

  • 9 wbwolf on Feb 27, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    May I just say that Bridget looks lovely as ever.

    And Mike Nelson is either deranged or a genius.

    Pondering Nelson: The Next Generation….

  • 10 Ryan on Feb 27, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    That was hilarious! Great skit, Mike! And good luck at the Congressional hearings. Ted Kennedy eat a LOT of bacon.

  • 11 Ryan on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    Deranged, genius, I say both. So good to see Mike in front of the camera again. I wish they would do more like this and the “starts work at Legend Films” videos.

    And Bridgett is still hot.

  • 12 Ian on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    Im sorry my circumstances permit me to ride the bacon train still.

  • 13 Remmie Barrow on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    Not as embarrising as A-Rod.

  • 14 jennifer on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    *dead*

    ^^^ from laughing, not from an overdose of bacon.

  • 15 mst3ktemple on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    All of you can simply laugh this off as good natured humor, but I for one am crushed. In this world of tainted heroes and mediocrity I was really pulling for Mike to complete his bacon paved road to perfection.

  • 16 taters on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    mikes looking good on the all bacon diet
    I was inspired (or brainwashed) into having bacon for tea myself today
    it was yummy.

  • 17 ShutterBun on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    In all fairness, all he did was have a light snack of Sizzlean yesterday afternoon. Certainly shameful, but is it really the “crime against nature” the media is making it out to be?

    Actually, yes. Yes it is. BURN HIM!!!!

  • 18 ShutterBun on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Also interesting to note that your imaginay I-phone (I-I-phone) only omits hard c’s as in “bacon,” but not soft c’s as in the last sylable of “conference.”

  • 19 Mr. Alexander on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    I have a feeling that these ‘unnamed parties’ have found themselves ’swimming with the McMuffins’ if you know what I mean…

    On a lighter note, as I watched this skit the one thought that popped into my head was: I miss The Film Crew. Poor old Bob Honcho never had a chance…

  • 20 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    He lasted longer than I thought he would!

  • 21 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 27, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    Oh and what handsome young men his sons are!

  • 22 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 27, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    See I’m hoping for a Film Crew-like reincarnation with this Rifftrax live thingy. Like when they get all the site-crashing kinks worked out we’ll get to see some shows!

  • 23 Kim on Feb 27, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    Mike, I commend you for making it so far, don’t sweat the last minute slip…at least you got a sweet skit out of it.

  • 24 Onil on Feb 27, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Not contrite enough!! Next time have Mike’s pastor or vicar or whatever along.

  • 25 ambitiously stupid on Feb 27, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    All I’m saying is the details are a little lacking. “Circumstances forced upon me by unnamed parties, made compliance impossible.” What’s going on Mr. Nelson? Come clean. Were the “circumstances forced upon me” actually a trip through the KFC drive through? But you are never a failure till you quit trying. Get back on your bacon wagon and conquer March for pig fat!

  • 26 NanoRiffite on Feb 27, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    I bet this downfall was a scheme hatched by the guys behind turkey bacon, or maybe even the tofu-bacon cabal. Well, we’ll stick behind bacon, even if our former hero has been tainted. Remember, the bacon movement is bigger than just one man, or even one man, his wife, and two sons who are pretty good at keeping a straight face…

  • 27 NanoRiffite on Feb 27, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    Or maybe it was Donny and Duncan. Showing once again that you really have to be careful when picking new friends.

  • 28 Gina on Feb 27, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    That was awesome. So awesome that I can even face seeing yet another hero fall in this cruel, deceitful world. Bridget, you were the perfect brave-heroic-smiling-wife-trotted-out-to-help-absorb-the-media-onslaught. You rock. And the Nelson sons are pretty darned good in front of a camera (not to mention cute!).

    Oh, and Mike, you’re not bad either.

  • 29 RA Carney on Feb 27, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    This press conference has given me much to think about. I think I’ll grab an Old English 800 tall boy at Hum’s Liquors and assess my lot in life.

  • 30 randommanthefirst on Feb 27, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Did this have something to do with the Catholic church? I know lent started this week (I’ve had nothing to eat but tuna fish today).

  • 31 kt on Feb 27, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    Spitzer with a hooker; Mike without bacon! Will nobody live up to my unrealistic expectations of them?

  • 32 James Shearhart on Feb 27, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    Mike sucks.

    Sooo….when do we get Kevin to do a six-pack-of-different-beer-everyday thing? With YouTube footage of him post-ingestion doing, say, doing a jigsaw puzzle, or attempting to groom Humphrey?

  • 33 Lord Bob on Feb 27, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    (mumbles under his breath) Joel would have eaten only bacon…

  • 34 jfe on Feb 27, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    Lent has started so no meat on friday eh? Were those microphones even attached to anything? And what building was that? Or was it a church? A school? Just wondering out loud. Happy 11th or 15th birthday to young Nelson there.

  • 35 Scott on Feb 27, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    It was Denny’s with their Grand Slam breakfast. It’s inhuman to expect anybody could pass up two pieces of bacon, two eggs, two pancakes, and two sausage links for only $5.99.

  • 36 Eddie Colton on Feb 27, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    As with all things Rifftrax, I am filled to bursting with mild amusement.

  • 37 The Durd on Feb 27, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    That was fantastic. Even as a vegetarian, I was in full support of your goal. Kudos.

  • 38 Joyless Prole on Feb 27, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    Bacon is great, but french toast is better anyway.

  • 39 Erik @ RiffTrax on Feb 28, 2009 at 12:30 am

    Blasphemy!

  • 40 Nathan on Feb 28, 2009 at 12:31 am

    Well, Nelson, since you couldn’t make it through the shortest month, I think to make up for it, you must now eat an all-bacon diet throughout the LONGEST month.

    That’s complicated by the fact that there is a seven-way tie for the longest month. But bear with me. I suggest the creation of a 32-day month by adding a day to one of our existing calender months. I suggest a extending a more pleasant one, like the positively lovely May.

    And then we can simply subtract a day from another of the months to even things out. And in the same vein as adding to a nice one, we can shorten one of the less desirable months (suck it, January).

  • 41 AJ on Feb 28, 2009 at 12:46 am

    Most geniuses are deranged.

  • 42 Brit on Feb 28, 2009 at 12:55 am

    27th Feb! Heh heh heh, impeccable timing.

  • 43 attaturk on Feb 28, 2009 at 4:34 am

    A whole family of handsome people with good comedic timing.

    How I looooooooaaaaaaaaathe them. ;-)

  • 44 Bill Corbett on Feb 28, 2009 at 5:38 am

    Serious question — why do you hang around here and the forums then?

  • 45 Kris on Feb 28, 2009 at 6:50 am

    Ditto, my friend: my heart is utterly shattered, and although this skit is warmly funny, it does nothing to repair my profound sense of alienation and loss. That and I just lost an epic bet with friends over this stunt and, subsequently, massive amounts of money. Damn you, Mike.

  • 46 Casey on Feb 28, 2009 at 7:51 am

    Some can’t handle the HOT amusement that is dished out in huge helpings at places like CarrotTop.com.

  • 47 Rat Boy on Feb 28, 2009 at 9:38 am

    Don’t tell me; Mike was disqualified for eating that microwaveable mock bacon. Easy mistake to make.

  • 48 Chinese Porkman on Feb 28, 2009 at 10:35 am

    I bet it was Fat Tuesday / Ash Wednesday that broke him. The drunken frenzy followed by pressure to eat christcrackers and have ash smeared on his forehead forced wheat products and burnt palm fronds into his martini-weakened system.

    If only the christians whould adopt a bacon communion wafer and allow annointing with bacon grease, this could have been avoided.

    I’ll pen a nasty letter to the pope immediately.

  • 49 Ed H on Feb 28, 2009 at 10:51 am

    HOLD ON, PEOPLE!
    Replay the video!

    He said “made compliance POSSIBLE”, not impossible.

    Mike, you still owe us a wrap up (preferably wrapped in bacon).

  • 50 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 28, 2009 at 11:27 am

    And you’ll notice how his head moves back and to the left… back and to the left.

  • 51 R.A. Roth on Feb 28, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    No grovelling on bloody knees? No self-flagellation with a cat-o-nine tails? No chewing on broken glass? No driving knitting needles into the eyes and ears? Hardly what I call an apology.

    Randy

  • 52 DoughyGuy on Feb 28, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    I’d hate to think that Mike disqualified himself for a communion wafer… That wouldn’t really count in my eyes, and I’d think most of the other bacon-faithful would agree.

    Unless, of course, once Mike tasted the wafer he was overcome with his body’s desire to eat carbs, he arose from his knees with a roar, knocking the tray of wafers from the priest’s hands, and began to mindlessly rampage through the church eating anything non-bacon he could find…

    Now, that’d be a video to post… :)

  • 53 Racer™ on Feb 28, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Mmmm.. blasphemy..

  • 54 Houndstooth Mind on Feb 28, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    Yeah but there’s the Ash Wednesday “no meat” thing that some folks observe.

  • 55 Serpent O-R on Feb 28, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    You still owe me money, Josh.

  • 56 Serpent O-R on Feb 28, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    He lives in Nilbog.

  • 57 Racer™ on Feb 28, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Dull surprise! :)

  • 58 Gina on Feb 28, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    It just struck me why Mike did all this: to divert media attention from Conor and his obsession with his imaginary iPhone. “Poor guy, I can’t let word leak out that he’s cracking up — what can I do? I know! I’ll spend a month constructing and then deconstructing an elaborate and very public hoax about bacon!”

    A noble gesture, sir.

  • 59 Kim on Feb 28, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Somehow I just assumed that if Mike was going to fast on Ash Wednesday he would simply go all out and not eat anything to preserve eating nothing but bacon for the month of February. Perhaps the realization that this would need to be done on both Ash Wednesday and Friday were just too much.

    And as a Catholic bacon enthusiast I concur that Communion wafers would not be a disqualification. Unless of course they sent Mike into a carb induced haze such as the one described above.

  • 60 NanoRiffite on Feb 28, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    He did say “made compliance impossible” — on the other hand, this month-of-bacon has been a mission of Mike’s…

    Maybe this is a subtle and clever hint that the rifftrax riffers will soon be doing the whole series of “Mission Impossible” movies!

  • 61 Erik @ RiffTrax on Feb 28, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Bill, if he didn’t hang around here or the forums, he’d have no one to complain to. We’re all he’s got, man!

  • 62 Tv Miller on Feb 28, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Bravo Houndstooth Mind, bravo. That squeezed a little urine out.

  • 63 Tv Miller on Feb 28, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    My assumption is this has something to do with Greenpeace’s attack on Mike’s minivan with a sign hung on their side “Swine Is Not Fine!”.

  • 64 Criminal Shrink on Feb 28, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    Well, since I happen to have a bit of experience with helping those individuals who do not seem to be able to find their place in the world (yes, I am a mental health therapist working with court mandated clients), I thought I would attempt to shed some light on this very odd individual who chooses to affiliate with an organization he seems to enjoy complaining about instead of using his energy to find a place where he can find maximal enjoyment. Here are some of my thoughts that may better assist all of us reading this fools “post” and it may give us an idea of the internal struggle Eddie is currently experiencing…

    Firstly, his comment suggests that he is rather reluctant to acknowledge personal limitations and he may be repressing (or denying) distress of other internal consequences that might arise from such limitations. This tendency may lead him to minimize, or perhaps even be unaware, of problems or other areas where his functioning might be less than optimal.

    I am pretty sure he is a person who is impulsive, emotionally labile, and un-empathetic. His interpersonal relationships are likely to be short lived and characterized by marked conflict, and even those relationships that have been maintained will most likely suffer strain from his hostile and self-centered style. The combination of his impulsivity, egocentricity, and anger could cause him to lash out impulsively at those whom he feels to have slighted him in some way. I fear he is experiencing a number of problematic personality/character traits. It is likely he has a history of involvement in intense and volatile relationships, and tends to be preoccupied with consistent fears of being abandoned or rejected by those around him. He is most likely quite impulsive and prone to behaviors likely to be self-harmful or self-destructive, such as those involving spending, sex, and/or substance abuse. He is likely to have elements of inflated self-esteem, expansiveness, and/or grandiosity. These elements may range from beliefs of having exceptionally high levels of common skills to beliefs that border on delusional in terms of having special and/or unique talents that will lead to fame and fortune. His interpersonal style seems best characterized as self-effacing and lacking confidence in social interactions. He is likely to have difficulty in having his needs met in personal relationships.

    Eddie seems to have strong needs to control others and expects respect and admiration in return. He may be driven to appear competent and authoritative, and likely has little tolerance for those who disagree with his plans and desires. Others probably view him as being rather overbearing and dictatorial. Although able to express some degree of warmth, his need to be in control in relationships probably taxes his endurance of those who are close to him. He is probably quite uncomfortable about the prospects of appearing weak, submissive, or passive.

    Whoa…I could totally go on and on about this doofus, but since I am not being compensated for this, I am afraid I must end here.

    So Eddie…To paraphrase the Father of Psychotherapy: No matter how much Extenz you take or how many Swedish Extending Machines you go through, your “member” will just not get any bigger. It may be time for you to have that difficult of difficult conversations with yourself and begin the process of accepting your “real-self” and stop trying to strive for that “ideal-self” that you seem to so badly desire to portray to all those around you.

    For the rest of us…let us remember the great times that Mike, Bill, and Kevin have given us for years and let us praise the guys for continuing to entertain us!

  • 65 Mr. Alexander on Feb 28, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    If my Internet was faster, I’d be a little happier about that experiment. It’s pretty clear to me that we’re only getting half the comedy genius with RiffTrax being audio only, though…

  • 66 Red Jack on Feb 28, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    What is up with Mike’s snide comment about our unrealistic standards?!

    I’m gutted, man. That was like being in the 2nd row bleachers watching your all-time hero Babe Ruth strike out only to have him throw down his bat ,turn, look you right in the eye and give you the finger….

  • 67 Carpeteria on Feb 28, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    Strapping, Midwesterny young men, indeed. As handsome as their mother, no less.

  • 68 Eddie Colton on Feb 28, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    “Serious question — why do you hang around here and the forums then?”

    Well, you know that feeling you get when you write a screenplay despite knowing how horrible Hollywood is? Yeah. It’s called hope. It’s what makes us human. And it’s why the monkeys will take over.

  • 69 Tom on Feb 28, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    Eddie…are you now suggesting you are a screenwriter? You are amazing.

  • 70 Incurable Insomniac on Feb 28, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    The swine of America (and parts of southern Canada) thank you.

  • 71 Chinese Porkman on Mar 1, 2009 at 12:26 am

    It should be obvious what kind of effect wheat products would have on a body perfectly tuned to the perfect fuel. Catastrophe!

    It is likely that he was unable to control his furious hunger for impure foods at that point, possessed by the tyrant wheat.

  • 72 Onil on Mar 1, 2009 at 6:46 am

    Eddie has a brother named Isaac who is a great film maker and the best iRiffer of all time.

  • 73 Scott on Mar 1, 2009 at 8:57 am

    So, Mike, what did you eat for breakfast this morning?

  • 74 Laura on Mar 1, 2009 at 9:46 am

    D’awww, wadda cute family! They all look so full of bacon grease! I mean love.

    “For punishment of not completing this ‘diet’, you must ‘Squeal like a piggy and put it on Youtube for all the fantards to see’ as said by the OT forum.
    -Sein”

    That was said by Sein, not me. Also, was this just a completely fake month and we’ve all been Trolled by Mike? I hope not :( .

  • 75 Gina on Mar 1, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    And were the news media in on it? Are we going to see headlines across America: “Mike Nelson Scams Press with Fake Bacon Month”?

    I dearly hope so. :-) Just might turn around the newspaper slump singlehandedly.

  • 76 Wesley Stamper on Mar 1, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    The Rocky Mountain News was preparing just such an expose when they were abruptly shut down.

    Mike’s web of influence is vast and powerful, but the Truth will out, Mr. Nelson. The Truth will out.

  • 77 Mike on Mar 1, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    Dear lord, are you all blind? Can’t you see the forest for the trees? The fact of the matter is that Mike and Bridget married, and they have produced children!

    My god people, those boys have the combinant comedic DNA of two of the Best Brains! The humor they could unleash could split this planet in half like a walnut! Just look at the comic timing of the one son already!

    Seriously, I thought the Illuminati were supposed to have secret councils that existed simply to prevent this kind of thing from happening. I feel like I can’t even trust my invisible overlords to keep me safe anymore.

    Open your eyes sheeple, we must act now to prevent these boys from ever writing the jokes that will end the earth!

  • 78 Ginger on Mar 1, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    You know, I am thoroughly impressed and proud at how long Mike was able to do this…also, he has become the hero of a freshman that I shared this story with. Way to go man!

    But beyond that, may I ask fifteen-year-old Nelson out? And before you go Chris Hansen on me, I’m seventeen, and totally still jailbait myself, thank YOU!

  • 79 meat-eater wannabe on Mar 1, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    Don’t think it was a fake. There was some serious love of bacon varieties and minutia coming through in the (admittedly limited) postings on the experience.

  • 80 Vic Arpeggio on Mar 1, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    Good call. Still, isn’t there some sort of Papal Dispensation you can receive? I would have contributed to the plenary indulgence that it would have taken Mike to get out of Lenten purgatory.

  • 81 Red Jack on Mar 2, 2009 at 3:26 am

    I hate it when they trott out the poor wife. Oh sure, she put on a really brave face but I think we can all imagine she’s dying inside.

    :)

  • 82 Matt on Mar 2, 2009 at 6:53 am

    Haha, yes epic-ness, last entry I commented on was the bacon month start, seems so long ago. Glad to see the Nelsons made it through the month without any damage done (well non-arterial in any case). Mike: next month up the ante, all feta cheese, all month long…do it, do it, do it, do it…..

  • 83 Kris on Mar 2, 2009 at 7:08 am

    You know, we’re all gonna die at some point anyway, and I don’t think that the super-sonic blast emanating from a Nelson Family Riffing Warhead is the worst way to go. Unleash their power, I say! Bring the boys into the studio, Mike!

  • 84 Bill Corbett on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:12 am

    Monkeys, yes.

    Now I understand your superiority complex, with comic gems like that.

  • 85 Best of the Buzz : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:30 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 11:29 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 86 Boston : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:30 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 11:30 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 87 Chicago : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:30 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 11:30 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 88 London : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:31 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 11:30 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 89 Los Angeles : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:31 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 11:31 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 90 New York City : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:32 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 11:31 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 91 Philadelphia : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:32 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 11:32 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 92 San Francisco : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:32 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 11:32 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 93 Washington D.C. : Dining News Elsewhere: Sabotage Fears, Bacon Disappointment on Mar 2, 2009 at 8:33 am

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Published Monday, March 02, 2009 10:15 AM by BuzzEditor Filed under: Dining News [...]

  • 94 Earl Fando on Mar 2, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Nonsense AJ! It’s the rest of us non-geniuses who are deranged. Geniuses just appear to be deranged because we’re too thick to work out why they’re acting bat-crap mental.

  • 95 Earl Fando on Mar 2, 2009 at 10:31 am

    I for one appreciate Mike’s human side coming through. “O that a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for?”

    Plus it leaves the “month of bacon” record open for those reckless types who would attempt it. I can’t myself… I’m in the middle of my month of Marmite.

  • 96 Ian on Mar 2, 2009 at 10:33 am

    News Alert spammers are lame. Zomg you can eat ShrooooomSsssss http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS6HB1UkSJw

  • 97 Earl Fando on Mar 2, 2009 at 10:36 am

    Is this accurate? I was wondering what knocked Mike off the bacon wagon (or is it “on the bacon wagon?”) My guess was either a porterhouse steak or that he accidentally missed the chicken, beef, and pork underneath the thoroughly bacon-wrapped products at Golden Corral this month. (Sure they’re thinly wrapped, but who ever said bacon was good for a person’s eyesight?)

    As for burning Mike, I’m squarely against it. However, in his bacon-engorged condition (no jokes, please) he would light up easily, and the smoky odor would draw satisfied sighs from Tijuana to Sacramento. (Sound from the Guvernator’s Office: “Vat ist zat intoxicating aroma? Maria, do you haf on a new perfume?”)

    So, while I strongly oppose it, I can see the other side of the argument.

  • 98 daltysmilth on Mar 2, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    My favorite part: when he says “I am sorry… that your standards are such that even the SLIGHTEST deviation from perfection would cause offense.”

    Also, maybe I’m imagining this, but it Bridget’s expression seemed mighty suspicious when he mentioned the certain “unnamed parties”. Conspiracy? Possibly.

  • 99 Earl Fando on Mar 2, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    Maybe “mild amusement” is all the guy dares dream of out of life.

    “How’s the relationship going?”
    “Mildly amusing.”
    “The physical side?”
    “A lot of hot mild amusement on the weekends!”
    “What about your trip to Six Flags?”
    “The rollercoasters were so mildly amusing. I wet my pants!”

  • 100 Earl Fando on Mar 2, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Are you sure the kids weren’t actors? I’m thinking the Nelson lads would be too overcome by bacon fumes to appear in public.

  • 101 Joyless Prole on Mar 2, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    I was thinking the same thing, but felt weird to type it.

  • 102 Joyless Prole on Mar 3, 2009 at 2:35 am

    Am I the only one picturing ‘An Officer And A Gentleman’ right now?

    BC: Why don’t you just quit?

    Eddie with tears in his eyes: I’ve got nowhere to go!

    And ultimately, I’m sure that’s the real truth. In real life you could roll up your window or smack him with a newpaper so he’s long since given up on real life. Since it’s the internet we’re stuck with him.

  • 103 Earl Fando on Mar 3, 2009 at 7:03 am

    The part about the Nelson kids possibly being portrayed by actors or the part about bacon fumes?

  • 104 Earl Fando on Mar 3, 2009 at 7:05 am

    A new era in RiffTrax history… RiffTrax, the dating site.

    For the love of all that is good, please don’t go there.

  • 105 Earl Fando on Mar 3, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    Maybe it was just Lent? No bacon on Fridays. That would make sense.

    I am actually being serious for a change.

  • 106 The Beak » Mike Nelson Gives All-Bacon Diet a Thumbs-Up on Mar 3, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    [...] Apparently, Nelson had a lapse at the end of the experiment, and decided to utilize it for a hilarious parody of those public humiliation press conferences, highly reminiscent of the career-ending media [...]

  • 107 Mike Nelson’s bacon parade comes to a close… « YourHollywoodNews.com on Mar 14, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    [...] source [...]

  • 108 Joyless Prole on Apr 28, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    Naw, the part about an entire family that’s good looking and funny.

  • 109 Zagat Buzz - Latest Restaurants and Nightspot Openings, Dining Trends, Events and Industry Buzz on Mar 21, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    [...] Mike Nelson finishes his month of bacon, albeit unsuccessfully. [RiffTrax] Share and [...]

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