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Fraud! Scandal! Shame!

March 15th, 2009 by · 75 Comments

By now you probably know about the discovery of a painting which is alleged to be the only portrait of William Shakespeare (Mel Gibson’s Hamlet, Romeo+Juliet, Shakespeare in Love) to have been finished while the Bard was alive.  Scientific tests have been run, X-rays have proven this, tree-ring dating that. Tweedy old English fellows have patted themselves on the back so much there’s a cloud of dust over Stratford.

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Believe me folks, this isn’t William Shakespeare.  I don’t know who it is, but it’s not him.  Me, I believe it to be a cleverly rendered portrait of System of a Down Guy.

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See what I mean?  This kind of thing happens all the time.  Another example, this famous image, once the property of the Duke of Chandros.

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Posh.  it’s Paul Giamatti. Plain as Hell.   Anyone can see that.  No friends, I shall cling to the ONLY ACCURATE PORTRAIT of the English Language’s greatest artist:

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That is the short and the long of it.   I’ll not budge an inch.

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