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Fraud! Scandal! Shame!

March 15th, 2009 by · 75 Comments

By now you probably know about the discovery of a painting which is alleged to be the only portrait of William Shakespeare (Mel Gibson’s Hamlet, Romeo+Juliet, Shakespeare in Love) to have been finished while the Bard was alive.  Scientific tests have been run, X-rays have proven this, tree-ring dating that. Tweedy old English fellows have patted themselves on the back so much there’s a cloud of dust over Stratford.


Believe me folks, this isn’t William Shakespeare.  I don’t know who it is, but it’s not him.  Me, I believe it to be a cleverly rendered portrait of System of a Down Guy.

7 serj tankian

See what I mean?  This kind of thing happens all the time.  Another example, this famous image, once the property of the Duke of Chandros.

468px Shakespeare

Posh.  it’s Paul Giamatti. Plain as Hell.   Anyone can see that.  No friends, I shall cling to the ONLY ACCURATE PORTRAIT of the English Language’s greatest artist:


That is the short and the long of it.   I’ll not budge an inch.

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