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Ahem…

March 30th, 2009 by Mike Nelson · 35 Comments

I warn you, do not click this link.* If you do, just please keep in mind it had nothing whatever to do with me and that I strongly discouraged you.

*(entirely safe for work)

+++++

BILL adds:

If you did click Mike’s link, and feel traumatized, please know that you can find help after the cut:

    DISCONNECT!

disconnect

    DISCONNECT!

disconnect

    DISCONNECT!

disconnect

Tags: RiffTrax

35 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Katie M. on Mar 30, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    That is disgusting, Mike.

    I cannot believe you’re watching FoxNews. ;-P

  • 2 Kris on Mar 30, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    A pig-based doughnut and not a single cop joke!? What is this world coming to?!?!

  • 3 Jesse on Mar 30, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Okay. I didn’t click. Now what do I do?

  • 4 Attia on Mar 30, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    OOOOH! That reminds me, Jim Gaffigan had a special on last night. He had a bacon bit…for…10 minutes. He commented that bacon is so great a food it makes other food better by wrapping it.

    Mike, if you read this, hope you can catch Gaffigan’s special, “King Baby”.

  • 5 Casey on Mar 30, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    I am afraid no number of “disconnects” can fix the irreparable damage done to my keyboard.. caused by drool.

  • 6 Kris on Mar 30, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Jim Gaffigan is just so awesome. If he were to ever be a guest riffer on RiffTrax, I think my head would explode.

  • 7 Stacia on Mar 30, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    I didn’t even look at the donut, I just read the URL when I hovered over the link, and I’m still traumatized.

  • 8 Emily on Mar 30, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    lol good lord almighty god.

    there is a bar/restaurant here in Madison, WI called Wando’s that has Bacon Night every Tuesday. beer comes with a side of bacon. i haven’t had the chance to partake but my friends tell me it’s pretty epic. it would have been the perfect establishment for Mike during his Bacon Stupidity Month.

  • 9 Mike Nelson on Mar 30, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    YOU WON!. Please visit here for your prize.

  • 10 Mike Nelson on Mar 30, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    I have heard of this legend. I have friends in Madison. I will get there.

    I am out of short sentences. And so I will eat bacon.

  • 11 jenifersf on Mar 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    Okay, I was not going to go to Madison WI, but now, I will. Any nice hotels by Wando’s?

  • 12 rebisaz on Mar 30, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    Wow Jesse, I suppose you’d give back the Everlasting Gobstopper, too! ;-)

  • 13 jason on Mar 31, 2009 at 12:15 am

    All right Mike, isn’t it time to stop wasting your time sitting around dreaming about bacon donuts, and get with the Twilight riffing???

  • 14 Jack the Autumn on Mar 31, 2009 at 12:19 am

    haha good one Bill.

  • 15 chrismartindeed on Mar 31, 2009 at 1:10 am

    Mike… Dear Mike… one of these days your wife will get fed up with your Bacon Application Error and re-boot you in Safe Mode.

  • 16 AJ on Mar 31, 2009 at 3:19 am

    Hmm, I like disclaimers that state “entirley work safe”

    Which means you shouldn’t be doing any work at all at work and instead you should be watching videos about bacon donuts! Yay! :D

  • 17 Jim Winter on Mar 31, 2009 at 3:33 am

    Great. Not even 8 AM and already my arteries are hardening from looking at that. Thanks, Mike. I’ll be in the corner having a massive heart attack now.

  • 18 Elizabeth Young on Mar 31, 2009 at 4:08 am

    Well that certainly beats out the lobster ice cream I had in Maine last year…

  • 19 Erica on Mar 31, 2009 at 6:16 am

    Perhaps I am jaded, but I am not bothered by the Elusive Bacon Donut Thing… I am neither yearning it, nor grossed out by it. I will spend the day considering that a minor victory.

  • 20 Mr. Alexander on Mar 31, 2009 at 6:16 am

    (cue offended-lady-in-the-audience voice) “I didn’t know every character in Twilight would be so pale… those pants look dirty… I think he’s wearing his mother’s blouse…”

  • 21 Queen Bee on Mar 31, 2009 at 8:52 am

    And yet, there’s an HGTV executive looking at this video and thinking, “There’s a reality show in there somewhere.”

  • 22 Emily on Mar 31, 2009 at 9:32 am

    just let us know when you’re coming so i can, um, not stalk you there, wink wink, nudge nudge.

  • 23 Jenn on Mar 31, 2009 at 9:34 am

    I’m almost certain I know exactly where you tried that, because I’ve eaten it too.

  • 24 Invisible NanoGhost on Mar 31, 2009 at 10:17 am

    Just when Mike thought he was out, bacon manages to pull him back in.

  • 25 Attia on Mar 31, 2009 at 10:18 am

    Mike is a Machine?

    Is there going to be some epoch battle between him & Keanu….you know, after and ONLY after the Twilight Riff?

  • 26 Kris on Mar 31, 2009 at 10:25 am

    Bippity boppity BACON!

  • 27 AJ on Mar 31, 2009 at 11:18 am

    The bacon is strong in this one…….

  • 28 Tony on Mar 31, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    I’m at work and can’t listen to the clip so I clicked on the “Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)”. Now I REALLY

  • 29 Tony on Mar 31, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    (oops! Accidentally hit SUBMIT)

    I’m at work and can’t listen to the clip so I clicked on the “Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)”. Now I REALLY can’t understand what’s going on!

    “I’m for bacon a butterscotch donates.”

    “It’s breaking day on cellist Ralph.”

    (Although I will admit that it makes more sense than 95% of the stuff I normally hear on FoxNews.)

  • 30 Remmie Barrow on Mar 31, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    (*(entirely safe for work))

    I highly doubt that.

  • 31 wakachiwaka on Mar 31, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    Odd – Jonah Goldberg posted the very same link on “The Corner” at National Review Online yesterday. Now, let’s see – I know Mike’s politically conservative… hmm…

    Thinking about it, I wouldn’t mind seeing Jonah guest-riff with Mike. Maybe a Battlestar Galactica episode, or one of the remaining Trek movies. :-)

  • 32 Earl Fando on Mar 31, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    I was going to click the link, but then I saw Bill’s follow up.

    What were we talking about?