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More Jan Terri, like YOU demanded!

April 15th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 48 Comments

Wow, what a response! You all loved last night’s Jan Terri video, and wanted more, so here it is!

…Sure, some of you were intentionally muted in your responses, worrying that your enthusiasm might come across as unseemly pressure. And many of you left no comment at all for the same reason. Well, I appreciate that, folks, but know that I read between the lines and heard you loud and clear: more Jan Terri, PLEASE!

A few of you even employed a sly sort of reverse psychology, specifically pretending NOT to love Jan Terri. Well played, you scamps — you got it out of me! Your reward is below!

*
*
UPDATE:

Thanks to Invisible NanoGhost, we have a fascinating brain exercise: would Jan Terri have benefited from Microsoft Songsmith, like the strange gay Dad below?

Tags: RiffTrax

48 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Hugh/Matt on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    Word of warning: Don’t try to imagine what the backstage orgies at her concerts were like. Just don’t.

  • 2 Mike Finley on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    That’s not just the best music video ever made, I’d go so far as to say that’s the best THING ever made. Perhaps even ever concieved.

    Thanks Bill. Thanks for what YOU have brought into my life…

  • 3 SeishiZero on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:07 pm

    There is something admirable about giving a great effort without having any talent. She’s the Eddie the Eagle of early 90’s pop music.

  • 4 kerry on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    nice try, but i’m not falling for it again.

  • 5 ambitiously stupid on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    Simply beautiful.

  • 6 yislash on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    I get it…this is part of the viral marketing campaign for the Blu-Ray of Hairspray.

    http://roflrazzi.com/2009/04/14/celebrity-pictures-john-travolta-effects-scientology/

  • 7 Joe on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    That was incredible…. Thank you!

  • 8 Mindy on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    Who IS this woman? Why are you thrusting her upon us? Let’s talk about this like rational adults so we can all live in peace.

  • 9 Remmie Barrow on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    Why, Bill, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

  • 10 Remmie Barrow on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    ….Is she Pearl Forrester’s long lost older sister?

  • 11 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    “My heart is open like an open book, and yours is closed” — somehow the video takes all the life out of this line. This is surprising, seeing that you wouldn’t expect a line that generic to have any life in it to start with.

    Alternates:
    “My heart is open like an open car door”
    “My heart is open like an open window”
    “My heart is open like an open bank account”

    Really though, I feel kinda sleazy by pointing out odd parts of it. My main thought is that is the kind of tragedy that happens when you let Microsoft Songsmith write your songs for you.

    See how much it sounds like the songs in:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oGFogwcx-E&feature=player_embedded

  • 12 jfe on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    I thought you were involved with wax figures now? I guess everyone was off looking at Susan Boyle and that’s why there were no comments.

  • 13 Walter Woods on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Don’t think of an elephant!

  • 14 rebisaz on Apr 15, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    I shall weep now.

  • 15 Kris on Apr 15, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    *sobs*
    *vomits violently*
    *claws eyes out*
    *misses creepy Xtranormal talking bears*

  • 16 Houndstooth Mind on Apr 15, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Um… butter Shawn Johnson?

  • 17 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 15, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    Certainly not a purple elephant with large orange spots on it.

  • 18 Remmie Barrow on Apr 15, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    Maybe everyone has a song inside them…It is just that some people shouldn’t share their song with everyone else.

  • 19 Constantine on Apr 15, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    “Pick up the phone / Gimme a call / And talk to me.”

    My childlike fear of singing pigs brought on by “Babe” has now been replaced with blind terror.

    Thanks for that, Bill.

  • 20 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 15, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    Just think of how sad it must be for the songwriter guy whose band has said that his songs have been “rather stale lately”, so he turned to songsmith to write some totally generic song. Yes, it’s “Nice!”.

    That’s the thing which struck me about Jan Terri’s songs. It’s nice that she’s out there trying, but both the lyrics and the music are totally generic, and at several points the lyrics and the music seem to be going in different directions.

    This songsmith commercial showed up a few months ago, and YouTube has a ton of videos where someone takes the lyrics to some hit song and runs them through songsmith. Some of the results are hysterical.

  • 21 Adam on Apr 15, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    Around the two-minute mark, with Jan and her mullety friend walking down the street…anyone else reminded of Python’s “Up Your Pavement”?

  • 22 Sparkys Girl on Apr 15, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    Sadly, I couldn’t resist hitting play. Now I’ve once again lost precious minutes I can’t regain. It’s like self inflicted torture. I think I should looking to cutting.. it’d be less painful.

    Hugh/Matt – Your statement made me throw up in my mouth a little.

  • 23 deldobuss on Apr 15, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    I lost it after they panned over the third random street sign in that video.

    That song was sung in the key of leather (or was it mullet?)

  • 24 Fifty "percent" Kreiger on Apr 15, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    Jan Terri looks like a shaven, but feral ewok.

  • 25 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Apr 15, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    And now I will sing to my lunch; “I Don’t Want to Lose You, Tonight.”

  • 26 randommanthefirst on Apr 15, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    …with a gunt.

  • 27 puerileuwaite on Apr 16, 2009 at 2:46 am

    Wait. So that WASN’T Leona Helmsley, on that magical night at my condo? I really need to lay off the sauce …

  • 28 randia on Apr 16, 2009 at 5:58 am

    get down goblin is the best!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqsRFKe3YMA

  • 29 Attia on Apr 16, 2009 at 6:16 am

    *smiles and gives the “OK” sign* It stinks!

    Who was the guy in the video? Zap Rowsdower?

  • 30 skullhappy on Apr 16, 2009 at 6:55 am

    I thing the worst part of the whole deal is that the song is stuck in my head.

  • 31 Mike on Apr 16, 2009 at 7:46 am

    You have to love how the Microsoft promo video has a guy using Songsmith on a Mac.

  • 32 TheWonkey on Apr 16, 2009 at 11:54 am

    So, has anyone made any Doris Roberts comparisons yet? Or is that just too obvious?

  • 33 AnnPeek on Apr 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Um, an editor would have been nice. And someone who didn’t fall play with the camera while (s)he was filming. Other than that, it was quite lame.

  • 34 AnnPeek on Apr 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    Won’t be buying Songsmith until I need to sound like a lounge lizard. :P

  • 35 R.A. Roth on Apr 16, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    George Costanza’s mother or Buddy Hackett in drag? It’s a close call.

    Randy

  • 36 R.A. Roth on Apr 16, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Well, it’s a better use of Chicago’s skyline than the Dark Knight.

    Randy

  • 37 gypsyhoney on Apr 16, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    -90% Total Songs by Volume
    -Songs not available in all areas
    -Harmony not included
    -Intonation, Musicality & Dynamics available for extra charge
    -Not recommended for persons under 5 or over 60.
    -Not safe for use with unhipness, blandness, or extreme whitenss
    -All rap artists excluded from guarantee

  • 38 Rubicon on Apr 17, 2009 at 3:02 am

    May I suggest “Crazy Train”, inexplicably in a polka style?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFZvLprEIpw

  • 39 Brooke on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:20 am

    Was this the only way she could write off a trip to chicago?

  • 40 Elizabeth on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:44 am

    And Arkansas has found it’s queen!!!!!!

    and I totally believe that a woman in high waisted pleather pants can afford a car and driver.

  • 41 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 19, 2009 at 12:35 am

    Heh. There’s even this one:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RgoH_lK_m8

    which is a lame version of the “Hobgoblins” song from Mystery Science Theater 3000. (very short though)

  • 42 Krud on Apr 21, 2009 at 10:34 am

    I can’t decide which video made me sadder. Probably the Microsoft one, simply because more people were demeaned in it, though they may have been monetarily compensated. (Hopefully.)

    Anyway, I couldn’t help but notice that the girl in the Songsmith commercial had such perfect pitch that there’s no reason why she should have to resort to using SongSmith.

  • 43 Katie on Apr 21, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    I was instantly reminded of the music from the Sonic Sega Genesis games I played as a (younger) child when I started watching that Jan Terri video.

    Ah, nostalgia.

  • 44 Tyndras on Apr 26, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    What a horribly strange commercial…

  • 45 Quantum Observer on Apr 27, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    “He used to open up the closet door”, lol.

  • 46 Quantum Observer on Apr 27, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    PS Jan Terri shoulda been a star in the 1990’s IMO she rocks and she is smokin hot. How was this shit never played on MTV?

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