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Soar into your weekend

April 17th, 2009 by Conor Lastowka · 42 Comments

Sometimes two art forms come together in a synergy so beautiful, you wonder how your world existed before someone (in this case youtube user tteeddssoonn) put them together.


Twilight Sucks Forum user “estora” unfortunately has a different viewpoint: “I love Meat Loaf — it’s disgraceful to have his name associated with the failfest that is *&%$ing Twilight. It’s about true love, not true lust. I hate Twilight. It sours everything it touches.

estora would hopefully be more enthusiastic about our Twilight RiffTrax coming out on Tuesday.

Tags: Great Music · RiffTrax · movies

42 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Casey on Apr 17, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    I refuse to view the video… I want to avoid, in my mind, having such a beautiful song associated with something SOO silly.

  • 2 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    I can put it on mute and watch it next time I have trouble sleeping. Thanks!

  • 3 skullhappy on Apr 17, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    that’s the sappiest, crappiest montage I’ve ever seen. What’s with that guy’s hair? Is that what makes him a vampire?

  • 4 BEMaven on Apr 17, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Can’t we just move beyond Twilight?

  • 5 Onil on Apr 17, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Nope. The hair makes him a douchebag. The sparkles are what make him a vampire.

  • 6 Remmie Barrow on Apr 17, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    I frankly would not touch Twilight without the Rifftrax…Without Rifftrax, it would be like listening to Celine Dion without earplugs and eye covers.

  • 7 Casey on Apr 17, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Aye… yanno.. I was hoping to be able to go about saying “No, I have never seen Twilight.” for the rest of my life… but Rifftrax… …*sigh*

  • 8 rebisaz on Apr 17, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    Exactly, Casey – I never complained about it, because I figured, who cares, I’ll never have to see it. But NOOOO…

  • 9 Laura on Apr 17, 2009 at 4:59 pm


  • 10 Barry on Apr 17, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    I fully expect the guys to be giggling like 12-year-old girls by the time they’re done riffing Twilight.

  • 11 Margoo on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    I would like to add a few things that “Twilight” adds to the debate over what he “won’t do that” for love:

    Add any interest to vampire themed movies.
    Stop pouting or acting like a douche in general.
    Grow a pair.

    Any other suggestions?

  • 12 Constantine on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    The problem with the upcoming riff of Twilight is that I will have to actually sit through the entirety of Twilight.

  • 13 Brooke on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    Stop living in a blue filter?

  • 14 jason on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    I work in a book/ music/ video store, so I get to deal with Twilight all the time. And I must say I’m going to enjoy this rifftrax. Oh yes, indeed.

    But- a warning to you guys: evidently the Twilight fanbase is very dangerous! You never know when a hit squad of enraged teenage girls might attack.
    Check it out:
    (and speaking of Meatloaf, the British girl at the end of the video on the above page bears a strange resemblance to him).

  • 15 Joyless Prole on Apr 18, 2009 at 2:42 am

    Why are they NOT surrounded with chicken wire?

  • 16 Joyless Prole on Apr 18, 2009 at 2:44 am

    Oh, and don’t forget to put faux little girl voices saying HE’s SO HAWT into the riff every time he shows up on screen. Otherwise the movie just won’t feel real to me or anyone else who got the full theater full of twelver year old girls + me somehow watching this with a 30+ year old presumably fully grown woman and then conspicuously not having any sex whatsoever afterwards, even though I had glittery makeup on just like the ’star’.

  • 17 Joyless Prole on Apr 18, 2009 at 2:45 am

    And am better looking than that twit/clown/asperger’s victim. Of course, so is Jaws from Moonraker.

  • 18 Joyless Prole on Apr 18, 2009 at 2:46 am

    Man, this blog post has gotten me going like nothing has in months. God, I gotta get a life.

  • 19 Brooke on Apr 18, 2009 at 4:40 am


  • 20 Gina on Apr 18, 2009 at 5:02 am


    (I hope there’s a great riff that goes with that line!)

  • 21 Erica on Apr 18, 2009 at 5:57 am

    It will be a journey, but the rewards are rich and many. (Right?)

  • 22 Katie Jane on Apr 18, 2009 at 6:46 am

    Only the rifftrax would make this movie worth renting. Or maybe we should buy it – it would probably be worth the extra money to have the freedom to destroy it afterward.

  • 23 Mr. Alexander on Apr 18, 2009 at 8:02 am

    Jaws snags himself a cute little pig-tailed blonde at the end of that movie, if I remember correctly. Plus, you know the old saying: once you go acromegaly victim with iron teeth…

  • 24 Mr. Alexander on Apr 18, 2009 at 8:02 am

    Perhaps if you were to change your name to JoyFUL Prole, the rest would flow from there?

  • 25 Mr. Alexander on Apr 18, 2009 at 8:04 am

    You also risk the dirty look from the guy at Blockbuster should you rent it. I’m reminded of one of Kevin’s lines in the Star Wars Holiday Special: “If I keep watching this, am I going to get a letter from the government declaring me legally gay?”

  • 26 Mr. Alexander on Apr 18, 2009 at 8:08 am

    I’m starting to wonder if Hot Topic is just producing movies for stick-thin and/or morbidly-obese girls to buy related merchandise for.

    Personally, I think this may be the one movie too awful for me to watch, even protected within the hilarious membrane of a RiffTrax (and I actually purchased Battlefield Earth, folks). Maybe if the DVD contains a deleted scene of Wesley Snipes decapitating the entire cast to a throbbing techno beat…

  • 27 AJ on Apr 18, 2009 at 8:37 am

    Are you worried that scary Twilight Fan-girls will storm Rifftrax HQ with pitchforks and torches?

  • 28 Joyless Prole on Apr 18, 2009 at 10:45 am

    Change requires so much effort. Sigh. I have to admit I always thought it would be cool to have iron teeth like jaws.

  • 29 Stella on Apr 18, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Is it ironic that in the original video for this song Meatloaf looks like an overfed vampire? God I hate Meatloaf so much. His songs are such shlocky, overwrought garbage, in short perfect for a Twilight montage.

  • 30 Remmie Barrow on Apr 18, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    Yeah, it is a good idea to stop living in a blue filter…Otherwise you risk becoming Battlefield Earth.

  • 31 Remmie Barrow on Apr 18, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    (But- a warning to you guys: evidently the Twilight fanbase is very dangerous! You never know when a hit squad of enraged teenage girls might attack.)

    I guess you are right about that…The Harry Potter fanbase is way less dangerous than these crazy fangirls.

  • 32 Constantine on Apr 18, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    But the guy sparkles, Erica. He SPARKLES!

  • 33 pjwaldron on Apr 18, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    Never mind the hair, what’s with those eyebrows? Is he hiding the werewolves from the sequel in there? I love Meat Loaf and songwriter Jim Steinman, but that is the perfect anthem for a 90 minute virgin promise-ring wearing tween dryhump.

  • 34 Katie Jane on Apr 18, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    One of the perks of Blockbuster Online – less shame involved if you don’t actually have to see the dirty look.

  • 35 CrowTeeRobot on Apr 19, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    No, no we can’t. Just like we can’t get beyond Thunderdome.

  • 36 Me_Torgo_You_Jane on Apr 19, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    I’m siding with Stella (and I guess, Conor) on this one…apologies to those who love Meat Loaf, but his singing reminds me of the only fight I ever heard between two cats…ugh!

  • 37 Brooke on Apr 19, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    Mr. Alexander, Currently only in Vermont, Iowa and California.

  • 38 Earl Fando on Apr 20, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Hey, MeatLoaf sparkles, too.

    You would too, if you sweat as much as he does.

  • 39 Estora on Sep 11, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Huh, just found this. My stance on this matter remains the same – Twilight pollutes everything it touches.

  • 40 蟻力神 on Jun 30, 2011 at 1:57 am