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Today is NOT National High Five Day

April 17th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 71 Comments

…That’s what Wax Laurel and Hardy first thought when they awoke this morning, but then they were quickly distracted by a more urgent question:

“Why are we surrounded by chicken wire?”

Wax Laurel and Hardy

Tags: RiffTrax

71 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Casey on Apr 17, 2009 at 5:52 am

    And then I am sure the chubby Hitler fellow (a little too ironic Bill) looked downat his left hand and exclaimed “What the hell is wrong with my hand!”

    ..if wax figures could talk that is… fortunately most can’t.

  • 2 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 5:58 am

    Damn. Those are some UGLY pajamas.

  • 3 Earl Fando on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:11 am

    “Why are we surrounded by chicken wire?”

    Because chickens love wax like Germans love David Hasselhoff.

  • 4 Ed H on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:16 am

    I gave it a few days, guys, but I’m just not feelin the wax figure ‘obsession’. What were your other top ranking suggestions? We should pick a new one.

  • 5 TheWonkey on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:20 am

    prehaps they were captured by a Giant chicken who wanted them to know “what it felt like”.

  • 6 Queen Shadowrama on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:34 am

    That’s easy. They were captured by aliens and put in an intergalactic zoo as part of a breeding program. Granted, the fact that they’re using chicken wire instead of say, lasers, suggests that these aliens don’t really have very good funding – not to mention that they’re incredibly stupid to think that two male wax figures could breed.

    I dunno…it’s the best explanation I could come up with considering the utter weirdness of this picture.

  • 7 Bill Corbett on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:36 am

    We? WE should pick a new one?

    Sir, this is not a democracy. It’s a corrupt, soon-to-collapse oligarchy.

    Good DAY.

  • 8 Tim on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:43 am

    “I SAID good DAY!!!”

    —Gene Wilder in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

  • 9 pjwaldron on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:44 am

    It looks spookily like one of those photographs from the liberation of a concentration camp. Hardy has obviously been stealing Laurel’s rations for quite some time.

  • 10 Tim on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:45 am

    “There’s a perfectly good bed over on the other side of the room, Stanley. Why do you insist on sharing mine?”

  • 11 Casey on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:56 am

    Ed, I think you are normal.. and that it is admirable that you would come out and share your feelings on this.

    To embrace something of this nature takes more effort than most things… Bacon is delicious and EVERYONE appreciates it… however wax figures are creepy and cold.

    I, personally, would be more worried about you if you were very keen on this obsession.

  • 12 rebisaz on Apr 17, 2009 at 7:06 am

    They’re just in another fine mess that Stanley’s gotten them into, I would think.

  • 13 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 7:13 am

    Yes but, the pajamas? WHY?

  • 14 Molly on Apr 17, 2009 at 7:40 am

    Not catching on?? Even The Root is on top of this one!

    http://theroot.com/views/what-s-waxy-michelle?GT1=38002

  • 15 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 7:54 am

    All kidding aside, what a great website!! I didn’t even know The Root existed… this blog is educational!

    Does this other media attention make wax figure-types too mainstream to be an obsession? What say the Oligarchy?

  • 16 Houndstooth Mind on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:12 am

    Is it just me or does anyone else really want to take a big bite out of a wax figure? No one else? Okay then, I’ll just sit here quietly in the corner and wait for the medication to kick in.

  • 17 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:16 am

    No, but I feel like I need protection from some of them.

  • 18 Kris on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:22 am

    It’s to protect the zoo visitors from the poo-flinging. Probably doesn’t work too well, either. Sad.

  • 19 skullhappy on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:25 am

    what we really need is a wax Jan Terri. I need it real bad.

  • 20 CrowTeeRobot on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:32 am

    This is obviously one of the deleted scenes from Deliverance, and I might add that I hope they never ever do a rifff of that movie, ever.

  • 21 chrismartindeed on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:36 am

    I would imagine the chicken wire prevents them from petting the wax llama in the next pen.

  • 22 Ben on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Beyond the “why are we surrounded by chicken wire”, I see a more urgent question of : “Why exactly are we in bed together?” (I will bypass the question of what exactly Stan Laurel seems to be trying to cover with his hands)

  • 23 Wesley Stamper on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:58 am

    It is remarkable that Mr H looks at the picture above and finds boredom in himself, while I look at the very same picture and find myself scarcely able to contain my glee at the sublimely creepy combination of unnaturally posed wax figures, snuff film lighting, and, as if a gift from a most benevolent Deity, Chicken Wire.

    If there’s a cosmic raison d’ĂȘtre for the RiffTrax Blog, this is surely it.

  • 24 Onil on Apr 17, 2009 at 8:59 am

    Oligarchy? Really?

    I always thought of the blog as being more like a Roman triumvirate with Connor as a sneaky aide de camp waiting to take power after the inevitable three way civil war.

  • 25 AmandaGal on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:00 am

    That was my first thought. I don’t ever recall reading about them being “life partners” in that way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  • 26 Kris on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:17 am

    Onil, I picture the RiffTrax power structure in much the same way. Except, of course, there are many hundreds of elves who are responsible for writing most of the riffs while the triumvirate (plus 1) bicker pointlessly for hours over beer and bacon. And eventually, the elves will RULE US ALL.

  • 27 Margoo on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:21 am

    Is it just me or does the one on the left look less like Oliver Hardy and more like a bloated Hitler? I mean I know they both had the same moustache, but still…

    I’m also a bit freaked out by his long slender fingers on his left hand that seem to be pointed at the ends.

  • 28 Wesley Stamper on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:22 am

    I *know* the wacky sports bloopers are fun to watch, but Marv Albert really isn’t someone I’d encourage you to emulate.

  • 29 BEMaven on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:27 am

    Hey, we’re talking about Laurel and Hardy here.

    In their long and varied showbiz career, why WOULDN’T they spend at least one night in bed together behind chicken wire?

  • 30 BEMaven on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:33 am

    Ugh. That would be like biting wax fruit.

    Which is why I would never bite a wax figure of Truman Capote.

  • 31 Queen Shadowrama on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:37 am

    *meekly raises hand*

    We can sit an take our medication together Houndstooth. :-)

  • 32 jfe on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:48 am

    I know they are not wax, but I have a book called roadside america that shows a place with fairy tale characters. The three pigs are depicted by three large pig heads on the ground,,,no bodies. Talk about children having night mares! Maybe that could be the next obsession if it hasn’t been already, weird roadside attractions.

  • 33 jfe on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:49 am

    Now I have the L & H music in my head, thank you very much!

  • 34 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 9:53 am

    I hope I am not the only one that read the above comment, tried to remember what the music was and then … d’oh!

  • 35 Wesley Stamper on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Sure, you say this now, but where were you when I was passing around the empty Frito bag for the “Let’s Immortalize Jan Terri in Wax” fund a couple of months ago?
    Not only was there no folding money in that Frito bag when it came back, but somebody actually had the nerve to drop a used Q-Tip in there!

  • 36 Cerulean on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:30 am

    Somehow this makes me think of my childhood (sucks on thumb)

  • 37 awfulgoodmovies on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Why does Hardy have a Turnip on his shoulder?! ……….Or is it a Radish?

    Pliny the Elder considered the turnip one of the most important vegetables of his day.

  • 38 Russ Rogers on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

    You can tell Wax Laurel and Hardy aren’t gay, because they keep their hands on top of the covers.

  • 39 Insert Coin(s) to Continue on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:37 am

    I don’t think many Holocaust liberators would have grown Hitler mustasches.

  • 40 Earl Fando on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:38 am

    You’re not supposed to be *feeling* the wax, although that could be an obsession of it’s own, I suppose. Usually, that kind of thing is restricted to shoes and knickers, from what I understand.

    Oh…wait, I get it. Nevermind.

  • 41 Earl Fando on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:39 am

    Because Laurel and Hardy sleeping in the buff is to traumatizing to consider.

  • 42 Bill L. on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Why are they surrounded by chicken wire? Because surrounding them with yogurt would’ve just been silly.

  • 43 Earl Fando on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:40 am

    While the suggestion troubles me, the logical reasoning is first-class.

  • 44 Earl Fando on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:42 am

    Alternate explanation:

    Dinner theater at Bob’s Country Bunker.

    And of course, they concluded with a riproarin’ cover of Rawhide.

  • 45 awfulgoodmovies on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:45 am

    It’s a well known FACT that Oliver Hardy and Adolph Hitler were never seen together and that Oliver Hardy was never seen again after 1945.

    Think about it.

  • 46 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:48 am

    AAAAAAAAAH! OK, love the pajamas. Never mind the complaint… I take it back…

  • 47 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:50 am

    That’s not an onion?

  • 48 awfulgoodmovies on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:55 am

    You’re Right! …….They were probably filming ‘The Onion Field’.

  • 49 awfulgoodmovies on Apr 17, 2009 at 11:29 am

    I actually have a Laurel & Hardy ‘Sex Tape’ …….it’s not bad….but they frequently stop the ‘action’ to perform prat-falls and routines.

    / rant

    When I buy a L&H sex tape I want the sex not the ’skits’.

    /end rant

  • 50 Ben on Apr 17, 2009 at 11:52 am

    I guess the figures were set to some scene from a Laurel and Hardy movie…I dunno…They should have done what the Stooges did and invested in bunk beds.

  • 51 awfulgoodmovies on Apr 17, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    Chicken flavored yogurt?….Sound yummy……

  • 52 Remmie Barrow on Apr 17, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Maybe they are doing a live performance piece and the chicken wire is to protect them from the passers-by…only thing I could think of.

  • 53 Jim Treacher on Apr 17, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    To keep out the pro-Prop 8 protesters?

  • 54 jfe on Apr 17, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Was it called waltz of the comedians? Something like that.

  • 55 Ed H on Apr 17, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    For the record , I was down with bacon lonnnnnnnnnnng before hipsters attempted (unsuccessfully) to claim if for their own (die abercrombie hipster freaks die!). But let’s not dwell on bacon. I appreciate the thoughtful commentary and well considered submissions and eventual conclusion of a quite humorous, disturbing and absurd obsession of wax celebrities. I would be quite interested in knowing what else was on the short list before the final decision was made. I’d be quite content to go off on my own noble quest to obsess on another worthy subject should either the oligarchy fail (it will) or I am excommunicated or become a political prisoner of the Unholy Wax Figure Oligarchy of RiffiTraxia.

  • 56 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    Turns out I was thinking of the Little Rascals theme…

  • 57 BEMaven on Apr 17, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    On the other hand, Abbott and Costello doing it would just be plain sick.

  • 58 Earl Fando on Apr 17, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Agreed. It would give a whole new and disturbing meaning to the phrase, “Heeeey, Abbott!”

  • 59 jfe on Apr 17, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    Aha! Its dance of the cuckoos. It pays to google. Mr. Laurel wouldn’t have a cage around him in real life, they say he had his name listed in the phone book.

  • 60 Steve on Apr 17, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    YOU WERE PAID TO PLAY, NOW PLAY! (chucks beer bottle.)

  • 61 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    this is silly, but when I think of Laurel and Hardy, I mainly just think of Dick Van Dyke doing his Stan Laurel imitation :)

  • 62 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    That was meant as a contribution of wax.

  • 63 jfe on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    That’s how Mr. Van Dyke met him, he looked him up in the phone book. Speaking of the little rascals Mr. Laurel reportedly gave stymie his hat.

  • 64 jfe on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    Rawhide!!! whip crack!

  • 65 Erica on Apr 17, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    What a nice man!! I feel guilty for making fun of him now… But I guess it wasn’t him I was making fun of it, it was the *wax* him.

  • 66 Clambake on Apr 17, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    “And I will NOT call again”
    -Boggy Creek II

  • 67 Chinese Porkman on Apr 18, 2009 at 2:04 am

    It makes sense, Hardy was obviously a Kapo.

  • 68 pjwaldron on Apr 18, 2009 at 9:55 pm

    *adopting best Captain Obvious voice*
    I believe it’s known as a bedpost.

  • 69 Mark D on Aug 30, 2010 at 9:25 am

    YUP, I always wondered about those two ‘boys’………….and just what do you want to bet that neither one of them are wearing any ‘bottoms’ ???