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Wax Hitler

April 25th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 76 Comments

wax hitler

…is fighting mad. After seeing my last blog post yesterday, he’s sworn to stay online day and night for the sole purpose of comparing me to his non-wax counterpart. You see, at the end of that piece I made an offhand, perhaps-unkind reference to one Bea Arthur.

Today she died. Coincidence? Not possible.

R.I.P., Ms. Arthur. You lived a very good life. It seems everyone liked you.

Posterity won’t judge me as kindly. Because Wax Hitler is right: I am just like non-wax Hitler.

Tags: RiffTrax

76 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Erica on Apr 25, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Comment on the picture: Oh my GOD.

    Comment to Bill on Bea Arthur – She loved to make people laugh, LOVED it, and I am sure she would not have been offended. Even though I don’t believe in coincidences, I’ll make an exception and say that yes, it was a coincidence. I’m sure she forgives you. So remember “Shady Pines, Ma”, “Shut up, Rose,” and “God’ll get you for that, Walter” forever!

  • 2 Nikolai on Apr 25, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Guess Bill went to Bea Arthur well once too often. As for Der Fuhrer, I’m going to shoot that paper-hanging son of a bitch myself.

  • 3 Joyless Prole on Apr 25, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Didn’t hitler have brown eyes?

    Franz Leibkin will be going postal soon.

  • 4 Joyless Prole on Apr 25, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    Oha nd yes you are sort of like hitler. You think it’s all fun and games until the SS goons come for YOU, with their black sun voodoo blog posts that tear your soul from your body. Or is that howard stern? Whatever that quote was, it was a good one. Granted, probably the only one, but still.

  • 5 Erica on Apr 25, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    It’s especially creepy, is it not, that this wax work looks more real than many of the others?

  • 6 Joyless Prole on Apr 25, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    You can see the love that went into this piece. I wonder if the museum owner has a huge stash of nazi paraphenalia. Maybe he’s even in contact with Hitler and his army of hitler clones that greedily look down on the earth from the security of their nazi moon base.

  • 7 AmazingThor on Apr 25, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    Dude, wax-Godwin’s law

  • 8 AmazingThor on Apr 25, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    And don’t be too hard on yourself, Bill. You mocked Bea Arthur and then she died. But had fate flipped that coin a different direction then today we might be dealing with Jay Leno’s death. And the world would consider you a hero.

  • 9 Jack The Autumn on Apr 25, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Actually Erica. Bea would have been VERY offended, and that was why she was soooo cool because she was a very good angry comic (psst -click on my name)

    As far as the Wax Hitler: well he’s kinda rocking the emo hair. But if it’s really a Hitler there’d be only one ball. Drop ‘em Adolf!!

  • 10 Casey on Apr 25, 2009 at 7:03 pm

    Shnazzy suit Bill! You MUST give me the name of your tailor!

  • 11 Erica on Apr 25, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    I clicked on your name and my computer froze. The work of wax Hitler?

    Well, all in good fun, and I know what you mean; she was a good sport about it I think. It’s in Rue McClanahan’s book AND it was on that Biography channel thing, therefore it must be true.

  • 12 DMT on Apr 25, 2009 at 7:14 pm

    So when this wax figure obesession thing is over, i have an idea for a new obession: 26 days of you tube. Work through the alphabet on you tube, taking the first suggestion that comes up in the search box each time. For example, I just typed in “A”, and got “Akon”. Search for that term and post the first video that comes up. I’m pretty sure it will make alot of people cry.

  • 13 Kris on Apr 25, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    Yet another example of how RiffTrax is slowly taking over my life: when I saw the news of Ms Arthur’s death, my first thought was, “Oh man, I bet Bill will feel bad about the shot he took at her yesterday.”

    RIP, Bea. Don’t beat yourself up, Bill. Note to self: get life.

  • 14 pjwaldron on Apr 25, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    What I want to know is, what did Bill know about Bea Arthur’s death, and when did he know it?
    And where were you when she died Bill?
    WHERE WERE YOU?

  • 15 pjwaldron on Apr 25, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    Wax Hitler photo reminds me of ridiculously juvenile Rowan Atkinson routine about the public school where the master calls roll in a class where nobody is called Jones. “Rigid, Fistup, Bottom…out!
    http://tinyurl.com/cukcn3

  • 16 Gina on Apr 25, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Jack, I guess when Hitler felt himself turning evil, he must have stopped in front of a mirror and pulled his bangs forward to add a finishing touch to the transformation, a la Peter Parker.

  • 17 Erica on Apr 25, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    It reminds me of “Springtime for Hitler” Hitler.

  • 18 Erica on Apr 25, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    I think we do have lives, Kris, and we come here to escape them. I think?

    And I agree, as I said above, that Bill should not beat himself up. This kind of thing is inevitable when we make fun of that which is easy to make fun of. The same thing happened to some people when Bob Hope died, because he was a hundred million years old. I remember one joke that Letterman made, that a “Bob Hope Special” is a contradiction in terms.

    See? It’s fun!

  • 19 Mack on Apr 25, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    I-is that the specter of Wax Bea Arthur rising up in the background there?

  • 20 Brooke on Apr 25, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    off an on topic… But someone should mention the new wax figures: http://www.upi.com/News_Photos/Entertainment/Michelle-Obama-unveiled-at-Madam-Tussauds/1769/?section=1

  • 21 Gamera on Apr 25, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    First Krelman, and now Ackmena. Please Bill, leave Lumpy alone!

  • 22 AJ on Apr 26, 2009 at 12:50 am

    This fist shaking Hitler reminds me of the old codger who shouts at kids when they’re mucking about on his property.

  • 23 Setsuled on Apr 26, 2009 at 1:45 am

    I’d been thinking about Bea Arthur for months for some reason and had kind of made fun of the many paintings online of her topless (I’m not kidding–try google image search), so you’re not alone. I’m sure I’m at least as bad as Goebbels.

  • 24 rebisaz on Apr 26, 2009 at 1:55 am

    Every hotsie-totsie Nazi stand and cheer!

  • 25 Anthony on Apr 26, 2009 at 2:01 am

    Just eerie how lifelike this one looks.

  • 26 Nyx on Apr 26, 2009 at 5:36 am

    I think he had brown eyes too. I’ve always laughed at the fact that the least blond and blue-eyed guy in german history wanted to create a world run and populated by blond and blue-eyed people.

  • 27 Katie Jane on Apr 26, 2009 at 6:00 am

    I was thinking Christopher Plummer after he stuck a knife in an electrical outlet.

  • 28 Sherry on Apr 26, 2009 at 6:13 am

    Very good idea!

  • 29 Just Sayin' on Apr 26, 2009 at 6:52 am

    At the risk of spoiling the fun I must say I never understood the insertion of Ms. Arthur’s name as a punchline to jokes based solely on what she looked like. This is just an opinion but it seems more than fair game if celebrities are chided and lampooned for how they behave, or rather misbehave, but to find humor in one’s looks rather than one’s choices seems at best unfair.

  • 30 Mr. Alexander on Apr 26, 2009 at 6:55 am

    So you’re more worried about this than calling Ms. Arthur a “mannish old crone” in the Star Wars Holiday Special riff? Oh Bill, now is NOT the time to develop a conscience. There’s a reason you’re not posting at FosteringSelfEsteemTrax.com. We all have our role to play, and you’ve got to live with being the Lee Van Cleef of this ensemble.

  • 31 Mr. Alexander on Apr 26, 2009 at 6:57 am

    So I’ll wager that FINAL JUSTICE was not your favorite episode of MST3K?

  • 32 Erica on Apr 26, 2009 at 7:05 am

    It’s clearly Bono with white poufy hair.

  • 33 CrowTeeRobot on Apr 26, 2009 at 7:29 am

    No, this is a bad idea. This is what I got:

    A- Akon
    B- Beyonce
    C-Chris Brown
    D- Disturbia
    E- Eminem
    F- Funny
    G- Green Day

    I refuse to go any further, based solely upon the extremely low quality of those selections.

  • 34 CrowTeeRobot on Apr 26, 2009 at 7:33 am

    I like the fact that his mustache looks like hair leftover from his last haircut glued onto his upper lip.

  • 35 Erica on Apr 26, 2009 at 7:46 am

    How about Muppets instead? Muppets always cheer people up.

    A – Animal
    B – Beeker
    C – Camilla
    D – Dr. Teeth

    Well, I can’t think of E, but I’m sure there’s an obvious one.

  • 36 Bill Corbett on Apr 26, 2009 at 8:17 am

    “I never understood the insertion of Ms. Arthur’s name as a punchline to jokes based solely on what she looked like. This is just an opinion but it seems more than fair game if celebrities are chided and lampooned for how they behave, or rather misbehave, but to find humor in one’s looks rather than one’s choices seems at best unfair.”

    I take your point, and think it’s always worth thinking twice before we make a silly comment based solely on the way someone looks.

    I’d say it’s often a bit more complex than that, though — in Bea Arthur’s case, it’s also her screen persona of a tough, abrasive person. Not necessarily her in real life.

    We’re not really in the business of punishing people for misbehavior, as a rule. Just trying for laughs.

  • 37 creepingdeth101 on Apr 26, 2009 at 8:27 am

    it looks like he’s about to flip us off

  • 38 Onil on Apr 26, 2009 at 8:45 am

    Wax Hitler totally just hit that spare. Yeeeeesss!

  • 39 Erica on Apr 26, 2009 at 9:42 am

    It is also important to realize that she was popular precisely because she was a master at getting people to make fun of her. That’s why I don’t think there is any harm with what you said, Bill. What you said wasn’t mean anyway. If we laugh at Bea Arthur than we are doing what she tried to get us to do for forty years. Therefore it affirms her success and we have done no harm.

  • 40 James Shearhart on Apr 26, 2009 at 10:00 am

    It seems to be tempting fate to do so (suggesting that waxworks are like celebrities, only to have them die), but I submit that the fella over Hitler’s shoulder bears a striking resemblance to Robin Williams attempting to become George Washington. Also, why is there a Washington exhibit right next to Hitler?

  • 41 Just Sayin' on Apr 26, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Bill,
    Thank you for taking the time to respond. I in no way meant to imply insensitivity or malice on your part. The reason I love your endless wit, and that of Mike and Kevin as well, is that there isn’t the slightest trace of cruelty or malice in your humor. There is often more self-deprecation than anything. My reference was directed at those less than funny comics who aim for laughs by targeting others. Again, I in no way include you or your fellow riffing geniuses in that group and apologize if you perceived it so.

  • 42 Bill Corbett on Apr 26, 2009 at 10:22 am

    JS,

    No offense taken! Truly. And you bring up a good point. It’s too easy to be casually mean-spirited, especially considering the raw tonnage of jokes we put out there.

    Thanks for the nice thoughts.

    cheers,

    bc

  • 43 Joyless Prole on Apr 26, 2009 at 10:28 am

    I think he was a bit tubbier, too. I wonder what museum this is from.

  • 44 CrowTeeRobot on Apr 26, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Are we stickin’ to the Muppet Show muppets? Or muppets in general? For general use:

    E – Ernie

    and for obscure use:

    E – Eric the Yodeling Clam

    (Go ahead look it up on the muppet wiki http://www.muppet.wikia.com )

  • 45 AmazingThor on Apr 26, 2009 at 11:38 am

    I thought wax Hitler was destroyed with all the other Hitler memorabilia when the Neptunian bullet-heads destroyed the Hitler building.

  • 46 Beatnik Samurai on Apr 26, 2009 at 11:47 am

    That’s actually a wax Moe Howard pretending to be a wax Hitler.

    The figure over his left shoulder is a wax Emil Sitka.

  • 47 Meltha on Apr 26, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Unbelievably? I thought the same thing, and I’ve never even posted here before.

    ::squints at other wax figure behind rather terrifying main figure::

    Mozart?
    Jefferson?
    Washington?
    The Quaker Oats dude?

  • 48 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 26, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    I agree with most of this, except that I do approve mean-spirited jokes about Jar-Jar Binks.

  • 49 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 26, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    And here Bill defies Godwin’s law by referencing hitler right at the start! Clever move — the discussion now has nowhere to go but up.

  • 50 randommanthefirst on Apr 26, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    I really loved those Hitler salt and pepper shakers too.

  • 51 randommanthefirst on Apr 26, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    So does this mean the end of the “Becoming Bea Arthur” bands?

    ….I suppose they could be tribute bands.

  • 52 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 26, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    (wrt eyes) This is based on how he would look after ingesting large amounts of the Spice.

  • 53 Erica on Apr 26, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    If there can be a Happy Days musical, there can durn sure be a Bea Arthur band!

    I’m thinking Broadway.

  • 54 Wesley Stamper on Apr 26, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    My impression, he’s about to say “Hogaaan!”

  • 55 Erica on Apr 26, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    Ah, would that there existed a wax Werner Klemperer.

  • 56 Anthony on Apr 26, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Is he trying to get to his wax daughter’s wax birthday party while still in wax costume, terrifying and confusing all the other wax people who see him?

    God I love that story. Also, wax.

  • 57 Jeffrey Thames [King of Grief] on Apr 26, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    So would that be F for Favog or M for Mighty Favog? (If you wanna get obscure, get obscure, I say.)

  • 58 Jeffrey Thames [King of Grief] on Apr 26, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    Suggested album title: All Maude Cons.

  • 59 Erica on Apr 26, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    F for Fozzie Bear: Two amoeba walk out of a bar and one says to the other, “Is that the sun or the moon?” The other one says “I don’t know, I’m not from around here!” (Cue theme music)

  • 60 Sensei_Rebel on Apr 26, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    Um… no thanks to the google search.

  • 61 Earl Fando on Apr 26, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Without the mustache, Hitler looks like Jar Jar, so you have a point.

  • 62 Earl Fando on Apr 26, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    It’s Martin Heidegger, with a “what the hell was I thinking?” look on his face.

  • 63 Earl Fando on Apr 26, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    He’s obviously mad about the whole “short a testicle” thingy. He’s using sign language to visually describe his frustration.

  • 64 Brit on Apr 27, 2009 at 2:16 am

    I would just like to point out that while you’re busy getting rich off my ribbish waxworks idea, I STILL haven’t had my free rifftrax.

    Worse than wax Hitler, honestly.

  • 65 TheWonkey on Apr 27, 2009 at 9:48 am

    Invisible NanoGhost ,

    When it comes to 100% CG characters, all bets all off the table.

  • 66 Rob’s blog of posts » Hell according to Joel and the ‘bots on Apr 27, 2009 at 10:30 am

    [...] Joel: Well, those are all big things. Hell works better when it’s a lot more subtle. Here, I’ll give you an example. Okay, Crow, what do you think of Adolf Hitler? [...]

  • 67 Joyless Prole on Apr 27, 2009 at 11:46 am

    LOL!

  • 68 Remmie Barrow on Apr 27, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    Maybe if you light a candle under him, he will start melting like the Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

  • 69 Elizabeth on Apr 27, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    Is anyone else a little spooked that Mozart seems to be playing Svengali to Mr. Adolf “soulful blue-eyes” Hitler?

  • 70 attaturk on Apr 28, 2009 at 2:48 am

    Why is Wax Hitler hanging out with Wax Barbara Bush?

    …oh right.

  • 71 meg on Apr 28, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    Don’t feel too badly Bill, since I’m guilty of first making that joke on your blog here: http://blog.rifftrax.com/2009/04/14/wax-superman-also-welcomes-you-but/

    And I could not have been a bigger fan of Ms. Arthur, so it’s all good.

    But to ease the pain, here’s a shot of Clay Aiken at The Battle of the Alamo: http://siamesemeg.com/wp/images/2008/06/clay.jpg

  • 72 Steph on May 2, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    Wow. He needs to be powdered down for shine.

  • 73 The Fury (album) » Blog Archive » Killers from Space on May 5, 2009 at 12:50 am

    [...] Wax Hitler internet advertising [...]

  • 74 Mark D on Aug 28, 2010 at 10:02 am

    Blue eyes, brown eyes…………..who cares ?????

    I never quite realized just how DREAMY ‘Der Fuhrer’ really was !!!!!