46 responses so far ↓

• 1 Poe Ghostal on Apr 28, 2009 at 7:28 am

  No shoes? What a rip-off.

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  Reply from yislash on April 28, 2009:

  As was explained to me, not having shoes provides more opportunity for walking across broken glass bottles and saying “Pain don’t hurt.”

  Reply from Earl Fando on April 29, 2009:

  No bloody knuckles? What a rip off.

• 2 Houndstooth Mind on Apr 28, 2009 at 7:29 am

  So, the missus doesn’t read the blog does she?

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• 3 Ariel on Apr 28, 2009 at 7:33 am

  Set up a paypal account and I’ll personally contribute $ 0.26 to the fund. Such magnificence SHOULD be yours!

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  Reply from Erica on April 28, 2009:

  I have about .52 since til I get paid tomorrow, I can spare it for a worthy cause.

  Reply from Ariel on April 28, 2009:

  That’s the spirit! How about it Mike?

  Reply from Nerf on April 28, 2009:

  I can contribute a table cloth from an Italian restaurant.

• 4 Mr. Alexander on Apr 28, 2009 at 7:34 am

  So, if I may skip ahead: Mike wins the auction, hollows out the figure into a crude Swayze suit, and the San Diego police find themselves in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse with the expressionless Pain Don’t Hurt Killer.

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  Reply from Nerf on April 28, 2009:

  You could make a Swayze mask then cover it with a Reagan mask.

• 5 Jesse on Apr 28, 2009 at 7:47 am

  He has his shirt on? Didn’t they see the movie?

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  Reply from Nerf on April 28, 2009:

  Don’t worry. I sent the following message to the auctioneer:

  “I have a question about the “Dalton” wax figure being auctioned. Can the shirt be removed from the figure? In other words, is it anatomically correct under the shirt?”

  Reply from Nerf on April 28, 2009:

  And I received this response:

  “The shirt can be removed from the figure, which is a conventional mannequin.”

• 6 Ted on Apr 28, 2009 at 7:54 am

  What the crap? 6′2″?

  Mike, you must make a claymation “stop-action” movie with him. Maybe a soliloquy from Hamet?

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• 7 jenifersf on Apr 28, 2009 at 8:13 am

  Where is the rest of his feet?

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• 8 Chris D. on Apr 28, 2009 at 8:18 am

  Wax don’t hurt.

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  Reply from awfulgoodmovies on April 28, 2009:

  You and Dalton may preach that….But until you’ve been crushed by a wax John Goodman……..WAX DO HURT!

• 9 Mystok on Apr 28, 2009 at 8:19 am

  Sorry guys. The wax figure has just been hired to play a supporting role in the next Twilight movie.

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  Reply from AJ on April 28, 2009:

  No, they need to be wooden and not wax.

  Reply from Nyx on April 29, 2009:

  But who’s going to know after they’ve painted it “pale white”?

• 10 Jesse on Apr 28, 2009 at 8:39 am

  For some reason my wife wants this for our bedroom.

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  Reply from CrowTeeRobot on April 28, 2009:

  And then she’ll politely ask you to leave the bedroom, and you’ll end up watching reruns of “Who’s the Boss?” on Nick-At-Nite while eating a cold bologna sandwich and hearing auspicious noises emenating from your bedroom.

  Reply from Nyx on April 29, 2009:

  This just makes it more obvious that it’s not whether it’s anatomically correct under the SHIRT that really matters…

• 11 Shawn on Apr 28, 2009 at 8:44 am

  Does the figure come with the clothes pictured, or supplied naked and you have to provide your own? Same question again, but for the wig?

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• 12 Ben on Apr 28, 2009 at 8:57 am

  Hmm, maybe I could dress him in camo and turn him back into Jed from “Red Dawn”…

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• 13 AJ on Apr 28, 2009 at 8:59 am

  What will you do with it if you win it?

  I could suggest several things, like scaring the life out of your post or newspaper delivery person by standing it at your window. Or you could throw a lavish party and stand him at the door so no riff-raff can get in.

  Or, maybe you just want to stand it in your office/bedroom so you can give it a hug everyday.

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  Reply from Erica on April 28, 2009:

  Just don’t put him in the corner. Nobody puts Dalton in the corner.

  Reply from awfulgoodmovies on April 28, 2009:

  A wild Dalton is dangerous when cornered!

  Reply from Earl Fando on April 29, 2009:

  I’d suggest taking turns wearing the mullet wig around the office.

• 14 Queen Bee on Apr 28, 2009 at 9:37 am

  My favorite part of this entire affair is that Wax Dalton is clearly *too big for eBay.*

  ‘Tis a blessing that pain don’t hurt, because that left arm is at an entirely inhuman angle. An injury sustained, I assume, after the “Be Nice” and “Take It Outside” policies were enacted.

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  Reply from CrowTeeRobot on April 28, 2009:

  His right arm is clearly made from an old, thin cured ham.

• 15 BEMaven on Apr 28, 2009 at 10:45 am

  I’ll pass.

  Last year, I put in a bid on a wax figure of Swayze from ‘Ghost’.

  It never showed up.

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  Reply from awfulgoodmovies on April 28, 2009:

  Same thing happened to me when I ordered the script for ‘Roadhouse’.

• 16 Constantine on Apr 28, 2009 at 10:58 am

  I may be wrong, but it looks like that wax statue is too stupid to have a good time.

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• 17 Mike Finley on Apr 28, 2009 at 11:17 am

  One day, one day, Patrick will make his rifftrax debut. Until then…. you could just put this in the room with you. Magic will happen regardless.

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• 18 skullhappy on Apr 28, 2009 at 11:29 am

  no other bids…NO other bids??!! What has this society come to when art such as this remains unappreciated?
  I say bid, young Nelson, bid until you can’t bid no more!

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• 19 Geena on Apr 28, 2009 at 12:02 pm

  I’m gonna bid on this… until it’s time to not bid anymore.

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• 20 chrismartindeed on Apr 28, 2009 at 1:09 pm

  Wow. They also have wax figures of Alexandria Paul from ‘Baywatch’, Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, and Mel Gibson.

  But all five figures look like the same body with a different head.

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  Reply from Earl Fando on April 29, 2009:

  Julia Roberts and Mel Gibson with the same body? You just made my brain hurt.

• 21 Brooke on Apr 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

  Dear Mike, Bill and Kevin,
  Not wax. Still I feel you would be interested in this health food based bust. http://chiaobama.com/
  Sincerely,
  Brooke

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• 22 Remmie Barrow on Apr 28, 2009 at 2:29 pm

  The real problem with this wax representation is that this Dalton has a shirt on…Didn’t they watch the movie?

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  Reply from AJ on April 28, 2009:

  And he’s not bleeding either, I remember Dalton bleeding and quite a bit too.

• 23 CrowTeeRobot on Apr 28, 2009 at 7:18 pm

  http://www.liveauctioneers.com/item/6314308

  I find it disturbing that in the place of Moe they just used an extra Dean Martin figure they had laying around and slapped a bad wig on it.

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• 24 pjwaldron on Apr 29, 2009 at 12:37 pm

  It’s a scam. They’re clearly trying to pass off an inferior Corey Feldman figure as a genuine Dalton. Nice try.

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  Reply from pjwaldron on April 29, 2009:

  Here’s the awful truth:
  http://tinyurl.com/dkd5rd

  Reply from Erica on April 29, 2009:

  I guess sometimes it’s best not to say anything.

  Having said that, I have to go to try to remove that image from my memory.

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