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A-maying

April 30th, 2009 by Mike Nelson · 66 Comments

Tomorrow is May. Though I will still be busy with RiffTrax, I do plan on spending all my spare time a-maying. While traditionally, a-maying involves amorous adventures with fair maidens, that’s not how I celebrate it.

guinevere a maying1

No, this is how I do a-maying.

a maying

And may I introduce you to my a-maying partner?

9201

Tags: RiffTrax

66 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Invisible NanoGhost on Apr 30, 2009 at 10:48 am

    You’ve got the spelling all wrong.
    What you’re doing is AIM-ING

  • 2 Jason McMaster on Apr 30, 2009 at 10:51 am

    I think I know that chimp! I won’t tell Eastwood.

  • 3 awfulgoodmovies on Apr 30, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Holy crap?! Dustin Hoffman has some big ears!!

  • 4 rebisaz on Apr 30, 2009 at 10:57 am

    I hope you shoot at maypoles. Stupid maypoles. I hate them.

  • 5 LateFines on Apr 30, 2009 at 10:59 am

    I think we all know the best way to celebrate May, Mike. – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRhPeJ3uzOc

  • 6 Joyless Prole on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:03 am

    I was going to say that parading through the streets of moscow with nuclear missiles and tanks was a better way to celebrate before I saw the monkey.

  • 7 awfulgoodmovies on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:04 am

    B.J. and the Bear: The death of Sheriff Lobo.

  • 8 Kris on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:07 am

    Maybe I’m a touch simple-minded, but I’m just not seeing the connection between the flirtation rituals of ‘a-maying’ and going out shooting with a chimp. Or maybe I just don’t want to see the connection.

    Regardless. Have fun! Not too much fun, though!

  • 9 Jim Treacher on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:07 am

    Many critics believe that Kevin Smith’s least-awful film was Chasing A-May. This is of course incorrect. His least awful film covers the remains of last night’s Jell-O pudding.

  • 10 Erica on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Me too! Down with Maypoles!

  • 11 Sampo on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:12 am

    That’s not a-Maying. That’s a-Marching. :::ducks:::

  • 12 Erica on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:12 am

    Your a’maying partner’s dress is Faaabulous!

  • 13 karen on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:19 am

    does a maying mean you get gay and dance around a pole? with things of gaiety?

  • 14 Scarlett on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:31 am

    It’s not spring until you see a chimp with a gun to celebrate the month of May. Much like needing to suppress the urge to make an awful pun like “Monkey, May I?” and failing spectacularly.

  • 15 Heather on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Funny, that’s exactly the same way my family celebrates it. Must be a Midwestern thing, huh?

  • 16 Mark Andrew on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:50 am

    Ah, but I plan on doing both. One again, I’d like to thank God for introducing me to a gun-friendly wife.

    And Jonathan Coulton for such a GREAT song about the first of May. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRhPeJ3uzOc

  • 17 skullhappy on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:52 am

    Does the monkey’s pink shirt mean it’s a girl monkey, and does that mean that you, Mike, will be having amorous adventures with HER??!!

  • 18 Casey on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:53 am

    That is not a-musing. ::ducks::

  • 19 An on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:56 am

    I think what’s truly a-maying is the notion that anyone would let you have a gun in the first place.

  • 20 BEMaven on Apr 30, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    Mike, does your wife carry a bigger gun?

    I’m suspect that determines how you spend the merry month of May.

  • 21 Ben on Apr 30, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    Perhaps you meant, “a-maiming”? Is that “Ham” the chimpanzee? So, he is your ham-aying partner?

  • 22 AJ on Apr 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    I truly hate the month of May, shoot the hell out of it for all I care!

  • 23 Beth on Apr 30, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Funny, I would have thought Mike’s a-maying celebration would be an epic Road House marathon. Nothing says, “Spring is here,” like Patrick Swayze’s constant battle with being smaller than people would think.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z0CngDuHcc
    (It’s on AMC right now, it’s impossible to resist.)

  • 24 Wook on Apr 30, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Is it troublesome to get the colored ribbons to wrap snugly around the trigger guard?

  • 25 awfulgoodmovies on Apr 30, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    ‘A young Professor Bobo takes the Lawgivers laws into his own hands!’

    ‘He’s out for justice!’ -SCI-FI network 8:00 – 8:30

    So he’s not a gorilla…..Sue me.

  • 26 Erica on Apr 30, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    LOL! That’s how I feel about August.

  • 27 Chinese Porkman on Apr 30, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    Better start looking for ammo now, it’s been kind of scarce lately. These guys are pretty good:

    http://www.ammunitiontogo.com/catalog1/index.php

    Don’t know if they will ship to chimps, but chimps probably don’t have credit cards anyway…

  • 28 Remmie Barrow on Apr 30, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    Oh great…Now they are giving guns to chimps…WHEN WILL IT END!!!!

  • 29 Darth Chimay on Apr 30, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    So, wait… you a-may by getting shot at by the guy from the B-52s?

  • 30 MonkeyCheezPants on Apr 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    You know, I used to use that last image as the masthead for my now-defunct website, MonkeyWithAGun.org …

    Meeeeemmmories….

  • 31 clarimoto on Apr 30, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    maybe it’s just my lack of connection with the gun toting community, but I am seriously curious about why may would be a better time to go out shooting (with a chimp) than any other time of the year. Is it the beginning of hunting season? Is it just that it’s warmer and you don’t have to chisel the ice off of your gun (in California)? Is it that it’s best to shoot them brand new furry creatures in the spring? Or is it just when the chimps come out for their shooting and you have to adjust to their schedules?

  • 32 chrismartindeed on Apr 30, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Corbett and Murphy have been curiously silent about their plans for May.

  • 33 BEMaven on Apr 30, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Defunct website? So we have you to thank for an embittered, unemployed chimpanzee running around with a loaded pistol?

  • 34 AJ on Apr 30, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    Isn’t if funny how people have a hatred for specific months?

  • 35 AJ on Apr 30, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    But not quite as good fashion sense than Lady Gaga’s.

  • 36 AJ on Apr 30, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    The monkey is now looking to shoot ALL of you!

  • 37 Erica on Apr 30, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    What? A monkey is shooting ducks?

  • 38 Erica on Apr 30, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Hey – who has?

  • 39 Erica on Apr 30, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    And days of the week! Stupid Sundays!

  • 40 Erica on Apr 30, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Patrick Swayze is on All My Children? Wow, I gotta start catching up…

  • 41 Erica on Apr 30, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    With the chimps in charge and us as their b*tches.

  • 42 CrowTeeRobot on Apr 30, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Well, what do you think he’s been a-maying at?

  • 43 jfe on Apr 30, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    I suspect Mr. Corbett will be A-Maying with wax figures. Maybe a wax chimp with a gun?

  • 44 jfe on Apr 30, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    And maybe Mr. Murphy does a-juning for all we know.

  • 45 Katrina on Apr 30, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    May is a long month. Plenty of time for prancing with ribbons AND gunplay.

  • 46 Ryan on Apr 30, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    “While traditionally, a-maying involves amorous adventures with fair maidens, that’s not how I celebrate it.”
    Why the heck not?! Bridgett is still gorgeous!

  • 47 chrismartindeed on Apr 30, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    I strongly suggest you don’t combine prancing with ribbons and gunplay during hunting season.

    It’s the leading cause of injuries among hunters in Wisconsin.

  • 48 randommanthefirst on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Blasphemer!

  • 49 AJ on Apr 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm

    Oh…ACK! Sundays! I hate Sundays too. Sundays can go to hell!

  • 50 Joyless Prole on May 1, 2009 at 12:48 am

    Monkey antiterror squads. My cell brothers will not be pleased.

  • 51 MonkeyCheezPants on May 1, 2009 at 1:30 am

    It was the dot-com bubble – we all went a little crazy. Sure, the business model behind arming a simian looks silly now, but at the time we were sure we could pay for it with banner ads.

    On the bright side, he ran out of bullets years ago, and now just pistol-whips people.

  • 52 MonkeyCheezPants on May 1, 2009 at 1:31 am

    It’s only been eight weeks since Bacon Stupidity month… he still has that salty smell.

    Give it another fortnight or two.

  • 53 MonkeyCheezPants on May 1, 2009 at 1:32 am

    That, and beer.

    Which is also the leading cause of prancing with ribbons and gunplay.

  • 54 BEMaven on May 1, 2009 at 3:05 am

    Out of bullets? I wish you shared that news a lot earlier.

    Last year, that damned chimp car-jacked my uncle’s smoothie truck.

  • 55 chrismartindeed on May 1, 2009 at 3:15 am

    Quite true.

    But you might want to add lax state regulations to the causes.

    Here in Michigan, they finally passed a law that forbids the sale of beer and ribbons to gun-toting chimpanzees.

    And only after several well-publicized tragedies.

  • 56 Earl Fando on May 1, 2009 at 5:18 am

    Seems Nagisa Oshima is working the comments section today.

  • 57 Earl Fando on May 1, 2009 at 5:23 am

    For what it’s worth, I love that chimp packing heat photo at the end. We used it on the following post, as well, just over two years ago:

    http://unfortunateideas.blogspot.com/2006/04/ungawa-this-tarzan.html

    It’s the kind of pic that should reappear once a week on a blog somewhere.

  • 58 Earl Fando on May 1, 2009 at 5:24 am

    That’s the old Soviet version.

  • 59 Erica on May 1, 2009 at 11:46 am

    Hear hear! Or here here, or whatever it is.

  • 60 Jeffrey Thames [King of Grief] on May 1, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    May I recommend a semi-always-on-topic shirt to go a-Maying in?:

    http://www.zazzle.com/stop_swine_flu_tshirt-235930359516971033

  • 61 Anthony on May 2, 2009 at 2:28 am

    So a-Maying is something done every weekend with my father and uncle while utterly shitfaced on Scotch, plus a monkey.

    …I see no conceivable flaws in this plan.

  • 62 Kip on May 2, 2009 at 9:11 am

    I can’t entirely say why, but I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!

  • 63 Kip on May 2, 2009 at 9:22 am

    I think it hinges on the word “No” underneath the first picture.

  • 64 Ginny Crandall on Jan 13, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    Mike, I would just like to say that I really appreciate the way you go a-maying. I haven’t ever done it that way (I haven’t really ever been a-maying, to tell you the truth), but your way looks pretty fun. It’s time to break out the bulk ammo!