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Next up: pantsless pants!

May 4th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 44 Comments

The only obstacle to jumping rope: the rope.


Tags: RiffTrax

44 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Erica on May 4, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Is this real, or just funny? I think I invented the mill-less treadmill, so if this is real maybe I’ll hit the jackpot.

  • 2 melman on May 4, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    I’ve always said jumping rope is too hard! You can’t expect people to be as co-ordinated as the average 9 year old girl.

  • 3 Nerf on May 4, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    Rocky is such a dupe.

  • 4 chrismartindeed on May 4, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    If I order just one handle instead of the pair, can I use it as a whip-less whip?

  • 5 jerk on May 4, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    They should fire that computer animator. The 3D image of the person jumping rope looks like they are spazzing out

  • 6 Racerâ„¢ on May 4, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    Did anyone else have The Last Man on Earth experience, just now?

    I did.

  • 7 Ejiehi on May 4, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    Do they have a streamlined version without the bulky handles?

  • 8 BEMaven on May 4, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    A mill-less treadmill?

    By any chance, is your invention called “carpet?”

  • 9 randommanthefirst on May 4, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Bah, what’s next hamless ham radio? Insanity I say. Where else will I get my emergency updates on the swine flu?

  • 10 R.A. Roth on May 4, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    The difference between this and jumping up and down with hands empty is that your pockets (and head) are empty, too.


  • 11 jenifersf on May 4, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    Sure it’s stupid, but man, you should see my double dutch.

  • 12 Ronin Fox on May 4, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    I’m not sure I can afford this complex equipment, perhaps I’ll just rent the license to jumping for a month or so.

  • 13 Invisible NanoGhost on May 4, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    Seems to me we hand this when I was a kid. Only we called it “Jumping Jacks”.

  • 14 Krepta on May 4, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    Why is this not part of Wii Fit?

  • 15 Erica on May 4, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    No actually it’s called “feet” but I like yours better.

  • 16 Erica on May 4, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Wow I never thought of that – a way to master double dutch!

  • 17 Queen Bee on May 4, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    It will be, as soon as they can get the Madden-sponsored form of it.

  • 18 chrismartindeed on May 4, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    But don’t you run the risk of crossing the streams?

  • 19 CrowTeeRobot on May 4, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    So they’re trying to sell me two unattached handlebars that go “swish”?

  • 20 Quilted Porcupine on May 4, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Who wouldn’t pay $49.95 for such a fantastic product?

  • 21 clarimoto on May 4, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    Wow, something i totally forgot about when Bill Corbit was looking for a new obsession…THE INFOMERCIAL…and because I have to share the amazingness with the world, my personal favorite:

  • 22 Scarlett on May 4, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    Do they take creditless credit cards?

  • 23 C.G. on May 4, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    I think I’ll wait until the new-improved version comes out that has the built-in MP3 player. Then I can program it with music and classic lines of dialogue from the the ROCKY saga.

  • 24 The Fury (album) » Blog Archive » Killers from Space on May 5, 2009 at 12:50 am

    [...] Next up: pantsless pants! [...]

  • 25 Tork_110 on May 5, 2009 at 3:36 am

    So where is the pantsless pants? Rip off!

    When I was a kid I had a jump rope but I just used it to pretend I was Simon Belmont.

  • 26 awfulgoodmovies on May 5, 2009 at 5:08 am

    Speaking of pants-less……

    You guys should try their other product: ‘HumpSnap’

  • 27 Casey on May 5, 2009 at 5:42 am

    My parents were the sort that did not get me a jump rope because it was a choking hazard… if only the jumpsnap were available then. *sigh*

  • 28 Earl Fando on May 5, 2009 at 5:44 am

    “A mill-less treadmill?”

    Ice works well, if you don’t mind the bruising and freeze-burns.

  • 29 Earl Fando on May 5, 2009 at 5:49 am

    I couldn’t see the page (perhaps for the best) but the idea reminds me of “The Body Pump.”

  • 30 BEMaven on May 5, 2009 at 6:06 am

    The concept of John Madden skipping rope is too terrible to contemplate. Each impact could shift Earth’s orbit until the planet spins right into the Sun.

    Better to use the Tom Clancy brand. You could shoot at the ground with an AK-47 as an incentive to keep the trainee skipping.

  • 31 awfulgoodmovies on May 5, 2009 at 7:19 am

    hmmm…odd about the website being down….

    A word of *warning* about the ‘HumpSnap’, you have to supply your own feral goat.

  • 32 Erica on May 5, 2009 at 9:09 am

    It’s actually just called “walking.” It was invented millions of years ago.

  • 33 jfe on May 5, 2009 at 9:46 am

    The best part of the ad is not here, when they tell you the price and say….but wait if you order now you get……….although I did like the frustrated woman.

  • 34 Margoo on May 5, 2009 at 11:57 am

    The creepiest part to me was that it talked to you to “keep you motivated,” but only sounded like a personal trainer if you’re used to your personal trainer sounding like Stephen Hawking.

    Not THE most useless thing I’ve ever seen in an infomercial, but it’s up there.

  • 35 Kyle S on May 5, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    Sure bouncing a basketball is a great way to burn off calories, but it’s just TOO HARD! However, with my new Invisible Basketball, you’ll feel like Kobe Bryant in no time. Just slip the patented five-fingered, wool knit Invisible Basketball onto your hand and wave it up and down. It’s that easy!

  • 36 Rubicon on May 6, 2009 at 2:18 am

    I was impressed by Mr. T’s ability to work “I pity the fool” into the conversation in less than a minute, including the time he needed to break down the door of the set.

  • 37 Katie on May 6, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Good idea, but I’m personally rooting for the farting televangelist for Bill’s next obsession. Not much material to work with, but hilarious nonetheless.

  • 38 Lexie on May 6, 2009 at 11:05 am

    I would be incredibly motivated if my personal trainer were Stephen Hawking! I wouldn’t just be letting myself down, I’d be letting Stephen Hawking down. And Stephen Hawking has better things to do than watch me sweat. I’d best hurry up and burn those calories.

  • 39 NRRork on May 6, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    My favorite part about these kind of commercials is where they show the person trying to get the desired outcome the conventional way, and totally screwing it up!

    “slicing onions with a knife can be so difficult and dangerous…” Yeah, if you’re the type of imbecile they show in the commercial. Incidentally, the people who buy these products probably ARE. I guess the commercials are geared perfectly toward their target demographic.

  • 40 Jherico on May 6, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    Does it not occur to anyone that the reason jump rope is such an intensive exercise is because you have to make you entire body leave the ground, even if just a little, to clear the rope. Up to several times a second. On the other hand, the jump snap works even if you use it sitting down in a la-z-boy.

  • 41 Awesome Robot on May 11, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Let’s examine the false premises of that commercial
    1. The biggest obstacle to weight loss is burning calories
    *False, the biggest obstacle to weight loss for most people is not eating too many delicious delicious calories. Exercise is easy compared to refusing pizza.
    2. Jumping rope is hard.
    *Come on. Really?
    3.Jumping rope without the jumprope will burn as many calories as jumping rope for realz
    *As jherico pointed out, probably not
    4.You need to buy this thing to jump rope without the jumprope.
    *If you want to burn calories, jump up and down for 20 minutes and wave your arms like an idiot. There is probably a stop-watch built in to one of the electronic devices you already own.

  • 42 Mark D on Aug 26, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    “Mom always said, ‘Don’t jump rope in the house’ !!” – BOBBY BRADY