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Getting Back Down to Business

May 19th, 2009 by Kevin Murphy · 61 Comments

Sure we had a tough weekend, but that’s not gonna slow us down.  We have lots of fun stuff in the hopper – some great Guest Riffers, including Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm.  We have some titles that are guaranteed to surprise you.  More shorts, more old moldy movies, more bleeding edge new movies, Rifftones music, Comic-Con, outdoor screenings at the Stone Brewery.  Oh, we’re busy.

But never too busy to take care of what’s vitally important:  delivering you fresh images of bad wax figures.


So cheers from Bad Wax Bogie, Bad Wax… David Caruso, I think; Bad Wax… Nicole Kidman?  And Bad Wax I Have No Clue.  Help me out here, friends, we must identify these Bad Wax Celebrities!  Send your guesses right away!

Tags: Bad Wax Figures · RiffTrax

61 responses so far ↓

  • 1 doggans on May 19, 2009 at 7:58 am

    The one on the right is CLEARLY the guy who played Sgt. Zale on M*A*S*H.

  • 2 Anomalous on May 19, 2009 at 8:00 am

    I’m thinking Anna Nicole-Smith…maybe…and yeah, David Caruso for some reason with the vacant stare of Keanu Reeves.

  • 3 Heather on May 19, 2009 at 8:02 am

    I think that’s Bad Wax Courtney Hole back there. And Bad Wax… Jimmy Dean? The sausage guy and Country Singer. Not to be confused with Bad Wax James Dean:

  • 4 Rob III on May 19, 2009 at 8:12 am

    The blond (Drew Barrymore) is his conscionce, and the shifty guy (al pacino) is the devil.

    The red-head (Eric Roberts) is trying to decide whether to get another scoop of ice cream, or punch Norm Macdonald in the face.

  • 5 Wesley Stamper on May 19, 2009 at 8:15 am

    My guesses: Bad Wax Dyan Cannon and Bad Wax Josh Brolin whose Bad Wax Moustache fell off and landed in the Bad Wax Pink Bubblegum Ice Cream.

  • 6 wbwolf on May 19, 2009 at 8:16 am

    I would’ve sworn the fellow the right is Bad Wax Andy Kaufman.

  • 7 Ninjew on May 19, 2009 at 8:42 am

    I actually think it Bad Wax Elvis Presley (based on the bad wax “E. P.” on his bad wax robe).

  • 8 Ted on May 19, 2009 at 8:57 am

    [singing] One of these things is not like the others. One of these things doesn’t belong [end singing].

    … Rick Astley?

  • 9 Ryan on May 19, 2009 at 9:06 am

    People! People! We are overlooking the important point here! Kevin said they had Guest Riffers! Trace? Pleeeeeeease!

  • 10 Mystok on May 19, 2009 at 9:12 am

    You know that song “Rock n’ Roll Heaven”, well this is the other place at the level Dante never made it to.

  • 11 Barry on May 19, 2009 at 9:32 am

    Actually, none of these are just wax figures of famous people. They’re actually wax figures of famous people *playing* other famous people.

    For example, we have:

    At left, Lindsay Lohan as Madonna.

    Next, the double David, with David Caruso as David Duchovny.

    Third, in back, the triple-threat of President Andrew Jackson as Al Pacino as Humphrey Bogart.

    And finally, at right, Norm MacDonald as Elvis.

  • 12 rebisaz on May 19, 2009 at 9:38 am

    I think it looks like Wax Norm McDonald too but I can’t figure out why he’d be scooping ice cream and wearing Wax Elvis’ robe, as Ninjew pointed out. And the blonde is definitely Wax Drew Barrymore. I think. And Wax Caruso and Wax Bogie. Wax Bogie should get the hell out of there at his first opportunity.

  • 13 rebisaz on May 19, 2009 at 9:45 am

    A ha! I’ll buy that.

  • 14 AJ on May 19, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Yay! Comic Con. I can’t wait.

  • 15 pjwaldron on May 19, 2009 at 10:05 am

    Theory: the guy’s robe on the right actually reads “ER” not “EP,” which means he’s wearing the queen’s robe, which means he’s some sort of British personage. It is my theory and it is mine.
    Plus Caruso, Bogie, really bad Monroe/Barrymore.

  • 16 Ryan on May 19, 2009 at 10:19 am

    Disco Inferno?

  • 17 Ryan on May 19, 2009 at 10:22 am

    This is your theory. There are many others like it, but this is yours.

  • 18 karen on May 19, 2009 at 10:41 am

    EP=Elvis Presley, then its James Dean(don’t ask), then Marilyn Monroe and then of course Humphrey Bogart.

    I had a wee bit of help.

  • 19 karen on May 19, 2009 at 10:41 am

    er meant to post:

  • 20 Arucard on May 19, 2009 at 11:30 am

    OMG Jonathan Coulton guest riffing! That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time! Almost awesome enough to make me forget about Terminator:TSCC getting canceled. Almost.

  • 21 David on May 19, 2009 at 11:37 am

    From Mike’s twitter: “Jonathon Coulton, Paul and Storm will be presenting the estimable Tron.”
    It looks like it’s a RT Presents without Mike.

  • 22 Jana on May 19, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Horatio is missing his sunglasses. I really need to get around to riffing that CSI: Miami episode…

  • 23 BEMaven on May 19, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    I think I saw Elvis on the right.

    But why does the bad wax David Caruso have a Lady Gaga-shaped growth sticking out of his back?

  • 24 chrismartindeed on May 19, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Joe Dante?

    Hey, cut the man some slack. He’s less of a jerk than John Landis.

  • 25 chrismartindeed on May 19, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    James Dean?

    Was that his likeness after the crash?

  • 26 jfe on May 19, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Upon first sight I thought the guy was Nicholas Cage but then I thought, no. Maybe he’s a hybrid of a couple of people. Are they in some kind of 50’s diner? Or ice cream shop? maybe he’s just a soda jerk and he and the rest just look like celebrities

  • 27 Timm on May 19, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    It’s the king….Elvis.

  • 28 rb on May 19, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    Call me crazy, but I see (from left to right):

    Nicole Kidman
    Rick Astley
    Humphrey Bogart
    and… Mike Nelson?

  • 29 Stacia on May 19, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    You’re right, and I am horrified.

  • 30 Erica on May 19, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    My guesses:

    1. Anna Nicole?? Or Drew Barrymore with bad hair.
    2. David Caruso, or William H. Macy: The Early Years
    3. Bruce Weitz of Hill Street Blues fame, or That Guy Who Plays “Monk.”
    4. Jim Carrey and Charlie Gibson’s femmy lovechild

  • 31 Erica on May 19, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Me too. I suppose that’s supposed to be peanut butter and banana ice cream?

  • 32 Erica on May 19, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    Maybe it started out as James Dean, then the artist became inspired with the scary hair of David Caruso, and then just, you know, gave up.

  • 33 Mike Finley on May 19, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    The A-Team 2.0

  • 34 Tim on May 19, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    Is it even a question?

    Obviously the figure on the far right is Bad Wax k.d.lang.


  • 35 Erica on May 19, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    OH it’s supposed to be that stupid tacky picture that I hate! Highway to Heaven or something? I just got that.

    So, to sum up what we are looking at: awful likenesses of same likenesses in a presumably well-intentioned portrait, wax likenesses which started with heads that had been decapitated in olden times.

    Is that right?

  • 36 Scooter on May 19, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    JoCo AND Paul & Storm!?
    Guaranteed Surprises!?

    count me in. Looks like I’ll be saving up that refund for the live show to get the new stuff instead of continuing on the back-catalog.

  • 37 jopageri on May 19, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    is the guy in the “poofta” smock kyle mclaughlin?

    oh, and the bogie’s hair is way too thick, the nic looks she has a face full ‘o’ botox (oh wait, she DOES), and the caruso looks even CREEPIER in wax than in real-life (if such a thing is possible). i am definitely getting “the willies” just looking at it.

    regards, jo.

  • 38 Stacia on May 19, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    I just realized the blonde looks like Nicole Sullivan, who was on MADtv and guested on “Scrubs” a few times.

  • 39 Stacia on May 19, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    I went to search for that painting, and discovered there is more than one painting featuring Elvis, Marilyn, Bogey, and James Dean. No joke. And I didn’t even find the one I remembered seeing before, just a bunch of other ones. Scary!

  • 40 Lynne on May 19, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    I did a search and it’s called Boulevard of Broken Dreams (

    I think you’re right about it being the inspiration of the wax people, though I think it looks more like Barry’s Norm MacDonald/Elvis and Andrew Jackson/Bogart suggestion.

  • 41 Invisible NanoGhost on May 19, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    If Karen and (later) Erica are right, then it’s probably a wax interpretation of “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” painting, which you can see at:

    Although I do think that the “James Dean character” does look more like David Caruso, and the “Elvis character” doesn’t look like much of anyone famous.

  • 42 CS on May 20, 2009 at 4:26 am

    Here’s the one . . .

  • 43 Ben on May 20, 2009 at 4:39 am

    It’s a Presley extended family reunion, with (from left to right), Priscilla, young Elvis with red hair, Nicolas Cage as he is now and younger Nicolas Cage (demented ice cream server model w/borrowed Elvis Presley robe). Photo taken by Lisa Marie Presley.

  • 44 karen on May 20, 2009 at 5:33 am

    I googled their ass and look what came up? Google is King!

  • 45 Earl Fando on May 20, 2009 at 6:12 am

    Carol Channing with longer hair, a red-headed Tom Laughlin, Eraserhead, and a brown-haried Danny Kaye with a bad botox job.

    You gotta admit, the Laughlin figure is spot on. It captures that brooding intensity he brought to all his films whenever he was struggling to remember his lines.

  • 46 Earl Fando on May 20, 2009 at 6:14 am

    I don’t see it. Why would Elvis serve ice cream? Surely he’d be hawking the fired peanut-butter and banana sandwiches.

  • 47 Earl Fando on May 20, 2009 at 6:16 am

    I think you meant Mr. Tom Laughlin, the redhead. Seriously, the recessed cranium is a perfect match.

  • 48 chrismartindeed on May 20, 2009 at 6:18 am

    Wait a tick.

    How do we know these aren’t wax stunt doubles for the wax stars?

  • 49 Joshua on May 20, 2009 at 6:34 am

    I think the one on the right is FOX News’ Bill Hemmer.

  • 50 Invisible NanoGhost on May 20, 2009 at 10:50 am

    The “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” picture is based on an earlier picture of various nondescript people in a late-night diner of some sort. The guy who did “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” replaced the nondescript people with famous stars from the 1950’s, and

    The web page that Lynne refers to includes a fairly large version of the “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” picture, as well as the original picture (called “Nighthawks”).

    Presumably the diner shown is on Sunset Boulevard, since the wikipedia article points out the connection between Sunset Boulevard and the phrase “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”.

    Rifftrax blog: Not just wax, but educational too!

  • 51 Invisible NanoGhost on May 20, 2009 at 10:51 am

    The dangling “and” was supposed to be “and changed the location of the diner”.

  • 52 karen on May 20, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    do we win anything if we is righto? :D

  • 53 Chinese Porkman on May 20, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    Yeahyeahyeah, what he said!

    Both Crows together. That would be friggin awesome.

  • 54 Erica on May 20, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    The wax figures make the quality of the real painting look like the Mona Lisa.

  • 55 Scott on May 20, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    I see an optimistic Bad Wax Jim Carey thinking “this Ace Ventura thing will never get old”; Bad Wax Steve Buscemi dressed as Richard Nixon; Bad Wax Richard Nixon dressed as David Caruso; and…fifteen cent hamburgers?! I’ll be right there.

  • 56 Earl Fando on May 25, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    I’m hoping for an autographed picture of a red-headed Mr. Tom Laughlin.

  • 57 Margoo on May 25, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    I might be way to late for this one, but the guy wearing Elvis’ karate gi while serving ice cream looks to me like John Carradine in “Red Zone Cuba,” only a bit more chipper.

  • 58 Ed P on Aug 23, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    WOW………could you all BE any more WRONG ?????

    I’m related to the ‘wax man’ (i.e., wax artiste) who created all these figures, so here’s the scoop on who they REALLY are:

    The blonde (Marilyn Monroe look-alike) is my semi-attractive, alcoholic Aunt Mayzie, who’s kind of ‘loose’, and owns only one dress, the red one you see her in here.

    The red-haired, James Dean/David Caruso/Tom Cruise look-alike, is my stewed Aunt’s good-for-nothing husband, Ralph, who’s into little boys.

    The old guy with the bow tie was a nice, though suicidal, friend of our family (Dexter “Bogie” Riley, by name), who worked as a plastic surgeon’s accountant.

    Unfortunately, he died in 1957 as a result of complications from a botched stitch removal (by an unlicensed Veterinarian), the result of a bad cut on a broken bottle, received while feeding his life-long cough syrup addiction.

    And yes, the Elvis look-alike on the right is actually me, Colonel Edward Thomas Parker (Retired). As a young man I worked as a soda jerk back before the war, which is the way Andrew “Andy” Anderson (who, by the way, never married) chose to depict me. He felt that this was me at my most handsome, which is a theme (handsome, fit young men)
    that his ‘art’ (for some reason) tends to dwell on……..

    And now you know……….he-he……….The Rest Of The Story……..

  • 59 アニメ販売 on Jun 13, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    Unfortunately, he died in 1957 as a result of complications from a botched stitch removal (by an unlicensed Veterinarian), the result of a bad cut on a broken bottle, received while feeding his life-long cough syrup addiction.