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Important Hygiene News!

May 28th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 31 Comments

1) Clean yourself occasionally.

2) Instructions:

3) Becoming a Danish pixie-type is optional, but recommended.


(h/t: Michael Kupperman)

Tags: RiffTrax

31 responses so far ↓

  • 1 taters on May 28, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    wow ‘clean yourself occasionally’ no wonder people run gagging from me that must be where ive been going wrong. i’m off to find a giant plant pot and a sieve

  • 2 Nerf on May 28, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Can Schnappi translate this for us??

  • 3 Racer™ on May 28, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    Oh f*ck… how the hell did you stumble upon a crappy Danish christmas TV series on youtube?

    Seriously, HOW?

    And don’t you dare asking ME any questions about the clip!!!

  • 4 SIRHAMHAT on May 28, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    Actually, I think that the… wait… what?

  • 5 Wesley Stamper on May 28, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    This is actually a loop tape that plays continuously by the shower-room/exit of the Danish branch of Neverland Ranch.

    The lyrics, roughly translated, are something along the lines of:

    DNA evidence is admissible in court
    DNA must be scrubbed away
    DNA can hide anywhere
    So make sure you scrub thoroughly
    A clean body is a lawsuit avoided
    The disinfectant is complimentary
    So don’t be stingy

    My Danish is a bit out of practice, but that’s the gist of it anyway.

  • 6 yislash on May 28, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    All I can say is thank the Maker the gents are never-nudes.

  • 7 karen on May 28, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    Joey Pants was on WTMX (101.9) in chicago. I think the boys are off Joey Pants just thought I’d throw that out there. :)

  • 8 Wook on May 28, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    GAH! She spits venom! Who recorded my last fever dream?

  • 9 Racer™ on May 28, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    I, on behalf of every sane Dane, am sorry for any trauma this may have caused.

    I would hang myself in shame, if I had any rope.

  • 10 randommanthefirst on May 28, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    So that’s what geriatric porn looks like.

    I guess I always figured it would be wild west themed.

  • 11 randommanthefirst on May 28, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Yes, those outfits effectively hide their thunder.

  • 12 Nick Fechter on May 28, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    Proof that Scrooge does shrooms.

  • 13 AJ on May 28, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    I refuse to click the play button………

  • 14 BDiamond on May 28, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    So this is Danish foreplay before a three-way?

    Too much.

  • 15 CrowTeeRobot on May 28, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    All I can think is that this is some awful “The Borrowers” adaptation that went horribly wrong, as if Hollywood hadn’t gotten it wrong enough already. Thank you for destroying my childhood literature Denmark!

  • 16 PulchraPuella on May 28, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    Great, now I’ll have this song stuck in my head. The incredibly catchy lyrics are impossible to shake off, let alone the mental image of fetching, scantily clad, foreign men. Gee, thanks.

  • 17 jg on May 28, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    Something is … stupid in the state of Denmark.

  • 18 Michael ("Kruge") Briel on May 29, 2009 at 12:05 am

    Weird… Usually when I watch Danish movies where a woman takes a shower with two men *singing* isn’t involved… oO

  • 19 jason on May 29, 2009 at 2:04 am

    Wow- those Danes sound just like the Swedish Chef (from The Muppet Show, of course)!

  • 20 Montagthemagician on May 29, 2009 at 4:50 am

    Great, more nightmares tonight.

  • 21 Wook on May 29, 2009 at 5:17 am

    “Glad I Bad?” Danish gnomes have a strange concept of bad. Are cartoonish hygiene antics considered naughty in Denmark?

    They don’t seem particularly stoic or pasty, so I’m betting this was snuck under the wire from Germany, where they know from cruelty. I still can’t get past the part where she flares her frilled wattle and spits poisonous bile. Brrrr.

    Why does Corbett treat us this way? Does he bear some grudge? Still smarting from the infamous Giant Swab Debacle of 1968?

  • 22 Dale on May 29, 2009 at 7:50 am

    Yikes. Surveys rank Denmark as one of the happiest countries (#3 for optimism) and that’s in spite of THIS. Is that optimism or are they just unfazeable? Either way, color me impressed.

  • 23 Wesley Stamper on May 29, 2009 at 8:26 am

    “I’m betting this was snuck under the wire from Germany, where they know from cruelty”

    If I’m not mistaken, that’s the new slogan developed by the Deutschland Tourism Bureau:

    Germany. We Know From Cruelty.

  • 24 TheWonkey on May 29, 2009 at 9:20 am

    I shudder to think what a q-tip that size is meant for.

  • 25 Earl Fando on May 29, 2009 at 11:50 am

    I thought it was a Danish stag film from the splash clip. A woman in a towel with a giant toothbrush? HBO are probably bidding for the rights, right now.

  • 26 Erica on May 29, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    Um… well… I guess… sorry, apparently I’m speechless.

  • 27 Ryan on May 29, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Denmark’s own adaptation of Harry Potter just doesn’t seem to ‘get’ the premise.

  • 28 CrowTeeRobot on May 31, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Although I did enjoy this version more than the Hollywood one.

  • 29 RedQueen on Jun 14, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    If you go to youtube and search the phrase “fart in the duck” (so help me) you will see another clip of these guys that will make the pain of this one feel like Santa Claus bringing you a chocolate-covered pony.

    (Be warned in advance that while the audio is in innocuous Danish, the subtitles contain several -extremely- rude words as well as some concepts that would probably be viciously obscene if only we could figure out exactly what they are, possibly with the use of a series of 8X10 glossy photographs with circles and arrows and numbers on the back.)

    By sharing this, I hope to lessen my pain. Thank you.

  • 30 Rich on Jul 30, 2009 at 11:20 am

    I think the chick is holding back in a big way, sort of cloaking her hotness behind some strange clothing and a foreign tongue. But the various geriatric little people more than cancel any appeal she might have in this video.