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CONTEST: Movie Genre Switcheroo

June 9th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 132 Comments


THE CHALLENGE: Make an existing comedy into a drama, or vice-versa.

DETAILS: Pick an actual movie, from any era. Re-pitch it as a comedy if it’s considered a drama, OR if you’ve chosen a drama, re-pitch it as a comedy. Stick as closely as possible to the actual characters and plot of the real movie, but completely change the tone…. and do it in 150 words maximum (down below in comments).

DEADLINE: Friday June 12, 11:59 PM.

PRIZE: A free Rifftrax of your choice.



[UPDATE: Please do me a solid and include the title of the movie somewhere in your comment, artfully or otherwise, even if you think it's clear. You must never underestimate my thick-headedness.

It won't even count as part of your 150 word limit. So those of you who were planning to use THIS MOVIE or even, God help us, THIS MOVIE need not worry.]

Tags: RiffTrax

132 responses so far ↓

  • 1 jenifersf on Jun 9, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    What if it’s a dramedy? Should we pitch it as a comma?

  • 2 Joel B. on Jun 9, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    Oskar was just your average, ordinary German… until one day, when he got put in charge of the nuttiest munitions factory this side of Berlin! Now he and his ragtag band of workers have to stay one step ahead of those nutty Nazis, and manufacture one thousand shells before the war ends! Can they do it, and help Oskar win back the love of his wife in the process? Or will that rotten jerk Amon and his buddies have the last laugh? Liam Neeson (Satisfaction) and Ben Kingsley (Dave) star in… Schindler’s List!

  • 3 randommanthefirst on Jun 10, 2009 at 1:41 am

    “Music and Lyrics” becomes “,”

    What an improvement; I could actually look at that for 2 hours.

  • 4 randommanthefirst on Jun 10, 2009 at 2:35 am

    Eleven friends embark on a journey across the world that tests the limits of their endurance, friendship and even their sanity; a journey of comradery and hardship to discover their dreams and aspirations. Will little Johnny ever achieve boxing glory? Will the enthusiastic Chris ever become the dancer he so wishes to be? The group descends into the very depths of what it means to be human, whether exploiting themselves in dare devil stunts and insane feats is ever worth the cheap buck or a cheap laugh on their way to the big time. Will they get there? Will they even survive? Johnny Knoxville (Lords of Dogtown) and Brandon Cole Margera (Grind) star in… Jackass.

  • 5 Setsuled on Jun 10, 2009 at 2:46 am

    Having witnessed the brutality of the Saint Valentine’s Day massacre, a pair of struggling musicians find themselves plunged into a world where nothing seems safe, where everything seems precarious as the psychological turmoil turns them into aimless wanderers of both the land and their own sexual identities. Booze and unbridled, demonic jazz fuel Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in an orgiastic train journey to Florida with an impoverished and desperate group of female musicians. As the men must deal with the violence of their past catching up with them in the form of a relentless and bloodthirsty crime lord (George Raft), they find at the same time a fragile hope for redemption in the form of a guileless and beautiful young woman (Marilyn Monroe). But can salvation be attained in a world like this, or is hope lost like a fool on a bicycle?

  • 6 fanofhomer on Jun 10, 2009 at 3:01 am

    One man brought them together. One quest made them a legend. In the tradition of Lord of the Rings and 300. Join this group of brave adventurers as they confront danger at every turn. Monsters, magicians and armies stand between them and their prize. Graham Chapman is King Arthur in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

  • 7 Ben on Jun 10, 2009 at 3:50 am

    In the tradition of “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” comes the story of a wacky group of Uruguayan rugby players, who crash their plane into the Andes Mountains in 1972. Ah, the 70s! While rescue teams search for their plane, the survivors engage in a hilarious quest of survival in the snow. Hey, he’s eating the dead guy! It’s ok, he actually started eating him before he died! Ah, those crazy kids! Yuk Yuk Yuk.

  • 8 Ben on Jun 10, 2009 at 3:51 am

    Add: You’ll laugh your legs off at…”Alive”

  • 9 Olcas on Jun 10, 2009 at 4:02 am

    The planet Nil is dying. Suffering from an energy crisis that they cannot solve, the decision is made to save themselves by killing another world. A covert operation is sent to the planet Earth, who’s inhabitants are presumed to be large, unintelligent and unworthy of the precious energy crystals of Salt that is so abundant on their world. Using their spacecraft to blend in and move undetected the crew of the spaceship ‘Dave’, must drain Earth’s oceans to obtain the fuel their planet needs to survive. But when the inhabitants of Earth are revealed to be intelligent, and start to emotionally change the crew, inciting mutiny and out of control desires, the inhabitants of the starship Dave must weigh the fate of themselves and that of two worlds…

    (So I’m a kissass, so what?)

  • 10 Mystok on Jun 10, 2009 at 5:19 am

    Earth is being threatened by a ruthless invader named Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson) who will stop at nothing for total domination, not even destroying his own world. It is up to a clandestine team of mutants – a love-spurned giant woman (Reese Witherspoon), a terrorizing fish man (Will Arnett), a mad genius man-cockroach (Hugh Laurie), a lab experiment gone horribly wrong (Seth Rogen), and a giant caterpillar – brought together by General W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) to stop the evil alien from creating a clone army and wiping out all life in the universe. Will the Earth survive “Monsters Vs. Aliens”.

  • 11 Scooter on Jun 10, 2009 at 5:35 am

    You know that clapping hands emoticon thing? Well if that were available here, I would be using it right now.

  • 12 Mr. Alexander on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:06 am

    I had that exact idea, Joel, but having not actually ever seen Schindler’s List, I would have done a much worse job than you. Good work, my lad!

  • 13 Mr. Alexander on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:14 am

    In the year 3000, humanity is an endangered species. Ruled over by the oppressive alien Psychlos, mankind is reduced to farmed slave laborers and isolated pockets of barbarian scavengers. Until one slave rises as humanity’s last chance at freedom, and the invaders learn that all their advanced technology cannot stand before the power of hope.

    Barry Pepper and John Travolta in… BATTLEFIELD EARTH.

    (I think I’ve got this one in the bag, having made such a ridiculous comedy actually sound like an action-packed drama!)

  • 14 Greg on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:28 am

    Milo is a humble family cat and parent to 14, living meagerly in a small home in Kitakyushu. Otis is a Japanese gangster who was turned on by the human he supposedly served. Soon their fates will be irreversibly entwined. Left for dead in a raging river, they must fight for their survival. Their journey is far, and death lurks around every bend. But they journey on: for family, and for redemption.

  • 15 @_ykv on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:30 am

    In a world of unflagging allegiance to tradition, one man dared to go against the flow. In an age when following the leader meant submitting to the tyranny of dictatorship, one man reached deeper, and took a risk that would shake the foundations of the world. From the people who gave us “The Holy Grail” comes a solemn challenge to always look on the bright side of life. Graham Chapman and Monty Python in … The Life of Brian.

  • 16 Clarence on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:40 am


    Tagline: He just wanted a little HELP, but what he *got*…was AIDS!

    Everything was going great for lawyer Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks). But after he has a fling in a theater, he learns that “happy endings” only happen in the movies! When he learns that he contracted HIV, everything changes.

    Ostracized by his coworkers (Note: We can have a lot of sight gags with him breaking out in lesions while in a meeting, or having physical comedy bits where coworkers try to avoid touching him!) and finally getting fired by his big law firm bosses, Andrew enlists the aid of curmudgeonly lawyer Joe Miller (Denzel Washington)…who’s a HOMOPHOBE! Oh, no!

    Can this odd couple get along long enough to take on the law firm fat cats? Will Andrew live long enough to see the outcome? Will Joe discover that gay people aren’t so bad after all? And most of all, will the audience be able to stop laughing at Andrew’s hilarious, swarthy, mincing boyfriend Miguel, played to the hilt by Antonio Banderas!

    Philadelphia! Our founding fathers never imagined this!

  • 17 Mike on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:40 am

    In a world overrun by bad movies, one man, trapped in orbit, stands as mankind’s last hope. This summer, Mike Nelson and his robot companions embark on a quest to fight back against the overwhelming army of B movies with only their wits, their courage and their unbreakable will in… MST3K: The Movie.

  • 18 Megan on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:41 am

    Six strangers are lured to a New England mansion on a dark and stormy night with threats of blackmail, but the simple dinner party turns sour when their host is murdered in the dark. The desperate hunt for the killer becomes a fight for survival, and in the end, only one man is left standing. Or is he? Tim Curry stars in “Clue.”

  • 19 Art on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:42 am

    It’s 1876. A racist, conniving bureaucrat wants to illegally seize a plot of land to build a railroad. He needs to remove the people from their homes, but with no evident eminent domain powers, he tries to manipulate their deep-seeded hatred of recently freed slaves. He fast-talks an inept governor who is in over his head to appoint a freed slave named Bart as sheriff.

    The sheriff arrives to multiple threats against his life, but is able to strong-arm his way to respect. When the bureaucrat realizes the freed slave is no longer inspiring such disgust as to make the townsfolk flee, he sends in deputies to evict the townsfolk. However, the sheriff goes rogue and coerces the townsfolk into murdering the deputies. The sheriff then flees into the desert, never to be seen again.

  • 20 Kelly on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:54 am


  • 21 Mr. Alexander on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:57 am

    The Big Apple is an easy place to get lost, and sometimes you can’t even find yourself. After a savage head injury renders him an amnesiac, one man desperately searches for the clues to his past, while simultaneously conquering the cut-throat game of international advertising using skills he didn’t know he had. But when a dangerous woman claims to be his fiance, will his forgotten past turn out to be best left unremembered?

    This summer, forget everything you thought you knew before…


  • 22 Kyle S on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:01 am

    They’re young and in love, and their lives are about to be turned upside down!

    He needed something to kick-start his career. She needed something to brighten up their apartment. Now they’re on the hilarious, heartwarming journey known as pregnancy, and this once normal woman has turned into a bumbling, paranoid mother-to-be. To make matters worse, her husband and crazy neighbors are trying their best to help… in the worst ways possible!

    Laugh yourself silly at: Rosemary’s Baby!

  • 23 Jon on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:01 am

    Tom Robinson, a fast-talking, self-proclaimed “playa,” has a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time – like Maycomb, Alabama in the 1930s. After a hilarious eyewitness mix-up, he’s falsely accused of raping a white woman! With the help of Atticus Finch, his court-ordered lawyer, this odd-couple must convince an all-white jury (through a series of gut-busting court sessions) of Tom’s innocence. Back at home, Atticus (a recent widower and single-father) works on his case while trying to juggle the responsibilities of Mr. Mom. Scout and Jem are his adorably precocious children who find themselves in shocking situations with their mentally handicapped friend “Boo” Radley, which will make you laugh your ass off!

    With superb physical comedy by Oscar-winner Gregory Peck and a laugh-out-loud ending you’ll never see coming, “To Kill A Mockingbird” is the breakout comedy of 1962!

  • 24 Mr. Alexander on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:24 am

    With a hilarious cameo by THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW’s Hope Summers!

  • 25 Bookworm on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:28 am

    In the tradition of “M*A*S*H”

    and “Hogan’s Heroes”

    comes another lighthearted look

    at war!

    Join Tom Hanks and his band of nutty funsters as they try to take the beaches of Normandy by storm! Giggle at their slapstick antics on D-Day! Howl with laughter as they stumble across war-torn France, getting into one wacky scrape after another! Cheer them on in their search for one man lost among hundreds of thousands–and laugh at one mistake after another!

    Yes, “Saving Private Ryan” is the laugh-a-minute, slapstick comedy you’ll want to see again and again!

  • 26 Clarence on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:37 am

    Oops, I exceeded the word limit! Lemme try again…

  • 27 Clarence on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:38 am

    (Here’s the one that’s under the word limit.)


    He just wanted a little HELP, but what he *got*…was AIDS!

    Everything was going great for lawyer Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks). But after he has a fling in a theater, he learns that “happy endings” only happen in the movies! When he learns that he contracted HIV, everything changes.

    After getting fired by his big law firm bosses, Andrew enlists the aid of curmudgeonly lawyer Joe Miller (Denzel Washington)…who’s a HOMOPHOBE! Oh, no!

    Can this odd couple get along long enough to take on the law firm fat cats? Will Andrew live long enough to see the outcome? Will Joe discover that gay people aren’t so bad after all? And most of all, will the audience be able to stop laughing at Andrew’s hilarious, swarthy, mincing boyfriend Miguel, played to the hilt by Antonio Banderas!

    Philadelphia! Our founding fathers never imagined this!

  • 28 Steven Marsh on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:57 am

    It’s the 13th of October, in 2002. You’re a typical young woman, spending a typical day with your father and brother. Your whole life is ahead of you.

    But all is not as it seems. A mysterious man arrives at your door, his eyes twinkling with truths unknown to you. He claims to love you, and says you’ve shared a life together.

    What do you do when you discover that everything you’ve known is a lie? It’s no longer October. It’s not 2002. The car accident from that fateful day should have left you dead. Maybe you =are= dead? What else can explain your nightmare world, when flashes of memories tied to the unknown stranger flood your mind? How do you react when you awaken in bed a man you don’t know? When you feel his child squirming within your womb?

    Can Drew Barrymore [Scream] survive… 50 FIRST DATES?

  • 29 Col_Shaggy on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:57 am

    Wow, I would have pitched it more as an Odd Couple type film.

  • 30 Erica on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:06 am

    I’m gonna help you out here and put in the title – “Some Like it Hot” – and let’s not forget the stellar performance of one Mr. Joe E. Brown! Bravo!

  • 31 Col_Shaggy on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:06 am

    Four friends set out on a wacky raft ride expecting good times on the wild Cahulawassee River river before a greedy land developer dams it up. Instead they find forbidden love, and laughs, with two hillbillies. Can they make it down the river in time to beat the evil developer at the Duelling Banjoes competition, or will their love Hexagon tear them apart first.
    Before there was Brokeback Mountain there was DELIVERANCE!

  • 32 Erica on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:08 am

    What a great movie!

    “To make a long story short…”

    “Too Late!”

    And Madeline Kahn: “I hate her so much… flames! Flames!”

  • 33 Michael ("Kruge") Briel on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:10 am

    Once Upon a Time, in a Galaxy far far away…

    It is a time of peace. After millennia of religious suppression the age of the Jedi is finally over! Never again will children be abducted from their parents to become mindless fighting machines again!

    In a remote corner of the galaxy GrandMoff Tarkin is doing his best to uphold the law while dealing with his recent divorce. Things are looking up in his sector, with the new Deathstar children’s hospital and schooling spacestation finally online.

    All seems well, but the hate still lives! A leftover sleeper cell of Terrorists, led by the fanatic Kenobi, joins forces with the sleazy smuggler Solo, a man who walks over bodies for money, and his hideous hairy mutant slave, the horrible Chewbacca!

    When they cross the path of Tarkin Kenobi hatches a satanic plan: Blow up the Deathstar!

    Things look bleak but out of nowhere appears a mysterious warrior – Darth Vader! Behind his mask he hides more than just mental scars to remind him of his childhood in a Jedi training camp! And he still has a bone to pick with Kenobi!

  • 34 Erica on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:27 am

    Before Steel Magnolias, before Beaches, before Titanic… there was a story so compelling, so dramatic, so powerful, it could only be told in a country music song that started it all. It is a heartrending tale of three women and their struggle to survive. Violet (Lily Tomlin) is a widow who is consistently passed up for promotion by less-experienced men. Judy (Jane Fonda) is a vulnerable divorcee struggling to come into her own. Doralee (Dolly Parton) is hated for her large chest and sex appeal and victimized by her boss, Franklin Hart (Dabney Coleman), a man they would all vow to make pay. This is a tale of three women, sex, drugs, corpse-stealing, blackmail, and the Sexist Egotistical Lying Hypocritical Bigot they would unite to take down – ” 9 to 5.” Note – for a real tragedy, see the Broadway play.

  • 35 OnanRulz on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:36 am

    When Army Captain Willard (Martin Sheen) is sent on a super-secret mission to find a lost colonel, he goes on the boat trip of his life!

    Stuck with a ragtag crew (an uptight boat commander, his sassy African-American gunner, a laid-back surfer, and a crazy cook!), they bond together as their amazing journey up river leads them to Playboy Playmates, drug trips, and a run-in with a hungry tiger!

    And when they find the missing Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando), will he be able to teach Willard about life, poetry, and grocery delivery?

    With an all-star supporting cast (Harrison Ford, Laurence Fishburne, Robert Duvall, and Dennis Hopper) and music by pop-group The Doors, you wouldn’t want to miss the end, my friends!

    Apocalypse Now!

    This summer, Charlie DOES surf!

  • 36 Michael ("Kruge") Briel on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:42 am

    I like this one, I really do! :) “You don’t want to miss the end, my friends!” – heeeheeeheee!

  • 37 Fnord on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:50 am

    Seven Samurai:

    Feudal Japan is the setting in the latest buddy comedy!

    Kanbei was just a normal samurai, looking for a job and a meal, when he met up with a group of wacky villagers trying to defend themselves from a group of inept bandits. Through a series of wacky hijinks, he agrees to help them, and to recruit the strangest group of samurai ever!

    Spoiled little rich kid Katsushiro, grumpy old man Kato, brainy Gorobei, cutup Heihachi, and stoic Kyuzo all join in. Along the way they meet up with the wild and wacky Kikuchiyo, who is totally radical, and really connects with the kids.

    The samurai help the village, and learn about themselves. It all ends with an epic rap-off between Kikuchiyo and the bandit leader, with the leader agreeing never to bother the village again.

    This summer, Seven Samurai will have you splitting your belly open, WITH LAUGHTER!

  • 38 jenifersf on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Wait, are you saying Rosemary’s Baby WASN’T a comedy?

  • 39 Kyle S on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:11 am

    Now that I think about it, it might have been a comedy after all. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it, so my memory’s a little fuzzy. In fact, I have a feeling I left out a minor plot point… Oh well, I’m sure it’s not important.

  • 40 Mr. Alexander on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:27 am

    All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

  • 41 Bill Corbett on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:33 am

    Now THAT, I might actually see a second time.

  • 42 Speedy on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:43 am


  • 43 Dean on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:49 am

    Arnold Schwarzeneggar is a man whose time is running out. His family…his world…are on the verge of crumbling. In the tradition of the Maltese Falcon and The 6th Day comes an edge-of-your-seat thrill ride. In a world consumed with greed the dead of winter is alive with chaos. Only one thing can restore the balance: Turboman.

    In this season of turmoil Turboman is nowhere to be found. Thousands have sought him before to no avail. Arnold has one day to turn things around…One day to complete his quest. He has to fight the mob. He has to fight the elements. And he must overcome the one man who can keep him from his destiny: the legendary warrior Sinbad.

    Arnold is going to have to run. He’s going to have to pray. If he wants to find Turboman and save his family he’s going to have to JINGLE.


    THE WAY.

  • 44 Troyce on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Take a madcap anarchrist determined to bring laughter to the masses, add a coterie of merry pranksters as his devoted followers, and see what happens when they clash with inept authority figures. It’s THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST to bring laughter to everyone. See the Romans flail (literally) against the rib-tickling teaching of Jesus, as comedy is his cross to bear. You will laugh in tongues at the hilarity that abounds. Filmed in 70mm Saviorama.

  • 45 AP on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Meet Leonidas. He’s a monarch with a temper!


    Meet Xerxes. He’s an emperor looking for love!

    XERXES: I will ERASE even the MEMORY of Sparta!

    They can’t stand each other…

    Cut to:
    LEONIDAS kicking PERSIAN down a well.

    Respect each other…

    LEONIDAS: Persian cowards!

    Or like each other.

    Cut to:
    LEONIDAS throws spear, nicking XERXES’ ear.

    Until they realize…

    Cut to:
    XERXES stepping behind LEONIDAS.

    XERXES: Leonidas…

    They’re perfect for each other.

    XERXES: I only require that you kneel.

    LEONIDAS: It would take more than the words than a drunken adolescent girl to rob me of my desire of you.

    This holiday season, Warner Brothers invites you to see “300” and fall in love…

    Cut to:
    XERXES standing on hilltop, smiling.

    …with your worst enemy.

    LEONIDAS: Unless I miss my guess, we’re in for one wild night.

  • 46 AP on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:03 am

    Well, in retrospect I see that this is more like a trailer script than an actual “pitch,” but what the heck… It’s worth a shot.

  • 47 T.U.M. on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:17 am

    Vincent Price (Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein) and John Kerr (South Pacific) are an unlikely pair of brothers-in-law in this wacky costumed caper of mistaken identity, kooky gadgets, and one surprise after another! These men in tights get plenty of swinging action. Sexy Barbara will “Steele” your heart in her “out of the box” performance as the mistress of a groovy resort on the hot Spanish seaside. Those servants can’t keep ANYBODY straight in this crazy castle! Uh-oh, I think Vincent’s got some Daddy issues! Catch “The Pit and the Pendulum,” swinging by your cinema this summer!

  • 48 Ben on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:30 am

    I’ll throw some ideas at some enterprising soul (because I already submitted an idea and am too lazy for more attempts): Try 1984 and Brian’s Song as comedies.

  • 49 Krud on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:50 am

    Mr. Phil Connors (William Murray of “Rushmore”) was only trying to do his job as a meteorologist when he entered the innocuous town within the snowy bowels of Pennsylvania.

    A simple mission: Head in, cover the seasonal event, and leave. Stay ahead of the weather.

    But as Phil would soon discover, the land of the mystical ground-dwelling beast had far bigger plans for him.

    His future uncertain, Connors found himself trapped in an endless loop of mundanity, reliving moments that gnawed at his psyche with each reiteration.

    Refusing to cave in to the seeming futility of his fate, Phil struggles to break free of the cycle, learning something about life, death, and even himself in the process.

    But the question on everyone’s lips:

    Will Phil see his shadow?

    Or will he be forever trapped in…


    (This film has not yet been rated.)

  • 50 Dale on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Maybe so, but it captures the true meaning of this “film” (film in the sense that it exists on film). Not that I’d see it again mind you ;-)

  • 51 pjwaldron on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Rick was fed up with the rat race, so he dropped out, bought the bar of his dreams, and started spending time with his feet in the sand and a drink in his hand. Life was great… (*sound of needle scratching across record*) until his ex walked in! With a hunky new boyfriend! Who’s on the lam from a bumbling band of Hitler’s hitmen! Two’s company, but three will make you laugh out loud in CASABLANCA!

    Ingrid Bergman wants what only Humphrey Bogart can give her…a one-way ticket out of town. But Sydney Greenstreet–the funny fat man who split your sides in THE MALTESE FALCON–and Claude Rains–the kookiest collaborator since Benedict Arnold–have plans of their own.

    Of all the gin joints in all the world, this one is the most full of laughs! Get the Dooley Wilson single, “As Time Goes By” on Warner Bros. Records.

  • 52 Dale on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Paul Blart is the law in this mall. One day he snaps and begins terrorizing the denizens and visitors, wrecking horrible bloody vengeance on all who he believes slighted him during the long dull days and empty nights he stood watch in this soulless temple of consumerism. Who lives and who dies?

    In other words, it’s “Mall Cop” as Stephen King’s “Desperation.” Sure to keep movie goers riveted to their seats this summer.

  • 53 Krud on Jun 10, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Tom Cruise (”Goldmember”) stars in this wacky sci-fi flick about mental cops! When three meddling kid geniuses are discovered to have the amazing ability to create mental YouTubes of things that haven’t happened yet while they’re stoned, the bigwigs in D.C. create a zany elaborate ball-and-tube device that would make Rube Goldberg proud! Thinking about committing a crime? Think again! Cruise plays a hot-shot who arrest people before they do anything. Talk about pre-emptive strike! But what happens when the tables are turned, and the Brainiacs say he’s thinking of something he doesn’t know about? Utter chaos, that’s what! Join Cruise on a madcap chase through the colorful streets of future D.C., where everything is like out of the Jetsons, and every machine knows your name! From the director who brought you “Animaniacs”, it’s Minority Report!

  • 54 Phelps on Jun 10, 2009 at 11:19 am

    Eight year old Kevin was enjoying his nice suburban life when his parents callously abandon him a week before Christmas in the middle of Chicago. Now, he is forced to fend for himself, navigating a world world made for adults in a desperate attempt to survive on his own in a world of orphanages and abusive foster homes.

    When things are just looking up, Kevin finds himself to be the target of two maniacal home invaders (Joe Pesci of Goodfellas and Casino and Daniel Stern of Very Bad Things) hell bent on taking everything Kevin has left… and threatening to murder him in the process. What will you do when you are… Home Alone?

    Critics rave, “It’s David Copperfield meets Panic Room!”

  • 55 Splunge on Jun 10, 2009 at 11:32 am

    The dark ages in England was a time of suffering, poverty, disease and death. The black plague ravaged the countryside–innocents were burned at the stake as witches–horrific murders were commonplace. In this unforgiving world, it’s up to King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table to recover the Holy Grail. Watch as they battle terrifying magicians and hideous monsters to try to complete their quest. Who will live and who will die? Can anyone survive…

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail?!

  • 56 Josh on Jun 10, 2009 at 11:34 am

    Two words:



  • 57 Krud on Jun 10, 2009 at 11:38 am

    (Grr, I had edited this version, but I apparently didn’t re-copy before pasting. Oh well.)

  • 58 Cerulean on Jun 10, 2009 at 11:46 am

    A humorous coming of age story about a nerdy Soviet submarine commander who takes a thrilling roadtrip with a Russian missile carrying nuclear submarine. . . . with a plan to live out his life in America as a 7-11 employee. His trusty band of rag tag soviet misfits are the only ones in on his zany plan. Hilarity ensues as the stolen sub approaches the coast of the United States. How is the nerdy commander to avoid the party crashing American “The Man” navy? Only one hip cat realizes what the Russian’s plans are. . . .But how can he convince “The Man”? Or will the persuing Soviet Navy totally rain on his parade? Sean Connery & Alex Baldwin Star In…Hunt For Red October

  • 59 Wook on Jun 10, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    A man-child out of time has lost all that he loves and reels adrift in a world not of his making. Befriended by a ragtag pair of outcasts, he conquers his trials to win the adulation of his peers but for one, who knows his terrible secret. Will the SHOOSH be his undoing? Will he learn to weeze the juice? Will Robyn find Dave crusty? And will Link ever know the love of his cave nug again? Brendan Fraser. Encino Man.

  • 60 kt on Jun 10, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    I laugh every time that the little old lady at Ruth Gordon’s party holds up her wine glass and yells, “Hail Satan!”. That will never stop being funny.

  • 61 Laura on Jun 10, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    South Park- Bigger, Longer And Uncut:
    In the town of South Park, Colorado, a group of elementary boys sneak into an R rated movie from Canada. The movie dramatically changes their lives, and soon the town of South Park is under the affliction of a terrible plague. British theater great, Eric Idle, and others star in this masterpiece of love, passion and pride for the American way of life.

  • 62 kt on Jun 10, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    I wouldn’t use the term “mental cops” when you pitch this to Tom Cruise; “cops who have not learned to control the dead alien souls that dwell within all of us”, that might tickle his fancy.

  • 63 BEMaven on Jun 10, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    The irrepressible J.J. Abrams, whose ‘Fringe’ always leaves us in stitches with weekly abominations of science, aims to reanimate the Star Trek legend… and he has phasers set on guffaws.

    Those party-hearty animals, the Romulans, pop back in time through a gaping plot hole, with their faces painted and their heads shaved, intent on drilling the planet Vulcan until it pops. And Earth is next on the list for some alien probing.

    Who could possibly stop these pointy-eared badasses? Only the wackiest bunch of misfits to ever pile out of Star Fleet Academy… led by the outrageous Jim “Tibby” Kirk, who can only get command of a starship after sneaking on board… twice!

    Set your course for auto theft, barroom brawling, blatant cheating, gross insubordination, animal abuse, and a ship’s bridge where no one stays in charge for very long.

    In space, no one can hear you scream… with laughter.

  • 64 Setsuled on Jun 10, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    Yes, thank you, Erica.

  • 65 John Scott Lewinski on Jun 10, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    You asked for it…

    When a day trip goes horribly wrong, several families go on a day-trip they’ll never forget in “The Train Kept A’Rollin’.” From the director who brought you “Shoah” comes a nine-hour comedic romp stretching from the bustling streets of the Warsaw Ghetto to the endless wackiness of the Polish wilderness. “The Train Kept A’Rollin” stars Adam Sandler as the patriarch of a zany, yet orthodox family that sets out on the rails to nowhere. Dane Cook co-stars as Commandant Pretzelbrecht — their sardonic tour guide waiting for their arrival. When the two meet up, everything goes up in smoke.


  • 66 COUNT BAVA on Jun 10, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Ich lachte so stark, dass ich mein lederhosen beschmutzte.

  • 67 COUNT BAVA on Jun 10, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Wenn nur wir mehr geabschafft haben könnten…, eine welche wundervolle Welt es sein würde

  • 68 John Scott Lewinski on Jun 10, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    I…uh…kind of wish I’d watched the news BEFORE I…uh…Hm.

  • 69 Patrick Kerr on Jun 10, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    Because I’m more of a visual person (and because I already did this ages ago and – most importantly – am lazy), I humbly submit:

    Airplane –

  • 70 pjwaldron on Jun 10, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    re beschmutzed leather shorts: EEWWWW.

  • 71 Kouban on Jun 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    AKA “Zero Hour” :)

  • 72 Jim McD on Jun 10, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    Two brothers with a troubled past go on a spiritual journey to save the only home they’ve ever known. As they travel, they will not only reclaim the scattered pieces of their shattered youth, but overcome the bigotry and hatred of society using the language of their hearts: song. Set against the landscape of America’s Second City, this story of the road is one of the near misses in life, and how friends and family help us see our dreams through to the finish. In the end, you too will put your hands together and cheer for…


  • 73 randommanthefirst on Jun 10, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Das ist wirklich widerlich.

  • 74 randommanthefirst on Jun 10, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    Ah, but will Kareem Abdul-Jabbar reprise his role? I feel this movies success hinges on it.

  • 75 Meltha on Jun 10, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    In the ancient Roman Empire, only one man had the sense of humor to turn the whole known world upside down! Working his way up from a bit performer slogging away in the trenches to the top of the show, spunky Sparty decides that his goal is to take the act on the road and become his own boss, bringing most of the Roman version of vaudeville with him as a back-up chorus, pulling shenanigans and raising trouble everywhere he goes. Meanwhile, Antoninus doesn’t figure out that Crassus is interested in a little more than friendship until things get a bit too hot in the Jacuzzi. Keep your eye on the pirate gang for a memorable about face that’ll leave you howling in laughter. Eat your heart out, Captain Sparrow! Finally, don’t miss the fantasticly hilarious “I’m Spartacus!” “No, I’m Spartacus!” scene, the funniest verbal gag since “Who’s on First!”

  • 76 jenifersf on Jun 10, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Pretty sure the comedy was unintentional. ;)

  • 77 GMaupin on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    In this screwball classic from the 40’s, henpecked hubby Orson Welles is drunk, sleepy, and has an accent that’s the bastard child of Shrek and Clouseau. He’d kill for his demanding wife . . . but can he do it and get off Scot-free? Enjoy as this bungling, highly impressionable, would-be murderer gets what’s coming to him. Howl at the classic “three witches” routine. Laugh out loud at this age-old tale – told by and idiot! “Macbeth” is MacLarious!

    Also featuring Alan (”Batman”) Napier and Roddy (”The Cat from Outer Space”) McDowell.

  • 78 Jeff Henderson on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    Get ready to go bananas for Planet of the Apes!

    Astronaut George Taylor (Charlton Heston) expected some unusual things when his spaceship crash-landed on a strange planet…but he never expected anything this wild! A wacky world where apes talk and dress like people, and humans are treated like apes. But Taylor is sure that he is not going to let them make a monkey out of him in this uproarious fish-out-of-water story that will have you going ape with laughter.
    “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape! And don’t you dare fling THAT at me!”

  • 79 Nick Fechter on Jun 10, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    In space, they say the cold void can drown out any plea for help, and none can be truer than the horros that Micheal J. Nelson faces in this feature film. Kidnapped and abonded on a desolate space station in the far reaches of Earth’s orbit with criminally insane robots, Nelson goes through unimaginable torture as he is forced to watch terrible and cheap movies by a mad-man who has aspirations for cinematic genocide. Will Nelson be able to survive the likes of “Future War” and ‘Invasion of the Neptune Men”? And how long does he have before the robots finally develope the desire to kill him? Find out M. Night Shamalan’s latest intake on horror in “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie!”

    Micheal J. Nelson as himself
    Crow T. Robot as Bill Corbett
    Tom Servo as Randy Bachman

  • 80 Michael ("Kruge") Briel on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    Don’t mention ze var!

  • 81 Michael ("Kruge") Briel on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    Damn, I like this one! Deserves to be turned into a fake trailer. :D

  • 82 pjwaldron on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    “Nazis! I hate these guys.”

  • 83 YoohooRiffer on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    “Amnesia. I didn’t even think it was real. Who in hell actually gets amnesia? People didn’t believe me when I told them. The last thing I remember is stepping off a curb in New York City. I never even saw the car. But when I awoke my life had been changed forever. My mind became a puzzle. I didn’t who I was or where I’d come from. Little did I know that as I was examining the dark depths of my own psyche, ‘friends’ were looking for me. But part of me knew these ‘friends’ were merely puppets. I knew I had to look past these Dogs, these Rats, these Pigs, and find the real Animal. I walk about the city unable to Bear not knowing who or what I am. It ain’t easy being seen. But until I know otherwise, I’ll do Whatever it takes to survive.”
    ~Kermit the Frog from The Muppets Take Manhattan

  • 84 YoohooRiffer on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    Damn it!
    (See post 52)

    That’s what I get for posting without looking at anyone else’s first. Sorry Mr. Alexander, I swear I didn’t rip off your idea. Great minds think alike I guess.

  • 85 Wook on Jun 11, 2009 at 4:45 am


  • 86 Mr. Alexander on Jun 11, 2009 at 4:52 am

    I’m amazed that we BOTH focused on Kermit’s amnesia as the major plot point. You’d think with two overblown dramatic synopses of THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN being written by two different people, one of us would have focused on them writing their play, or Kermit and Piggy and the waitresses’ love triangle, or Fozzie’s inability to hibernate, or something….

  • 87 Mr. Alexander on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:06 am

    Anyone want to earn extra credit by turning this into a YouTube video? AP’s written a perfect script for it!

  • 88 Mr. Alexander on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:09 am

    That sounds hysterical! If only there was some way that I really could experience CASABLANCA as a comedy… I don’t know, like a funny MP3 that syncs up with the movie or something… Bah, forget it, it’s a fool’s hope.

  • 89 Mr. Alexander on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:15 am

    You know, that was one of my favorite movies as a little kid. Until I learned that it’s a Japanese movie with pretty strong evidence of animal cruelty used in the production. Like, when Milo rides the box down the waterfall, they just sent a real kitten over a waterfall. I don’t know how many stunt Milos died during the filming… Makes you wonder if Fat Man and Little Boy need some more family members, you know?

  • 90 awfulgoodmovies on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:30 am

    ‘Dunston Checks In’


    Meryl Streep plays Dunston the orangutan.

    Al Pacino plays Fredrico Gambo the down on his luck ex-con who won’t play by the rules.


    Fredrico meets Dunston at the zoo….She has a heart of gold and a hairy back to match……Fredrico falls for her….they get married….later they find she has cancer and must ‘Check In’ to the hospital…..They are unable to cure her and she dies…Fredrico spends the next 2 hours of the movie in a Cop-Killing rage…….it’s only later we find out Dunston was only sleeping and she didn’t have cancer at all! They meet again….but he’s remarried to a chimpanzee(played by Sissy Spacek)..heartbroken….she leaps to her death.

    The End.

  • 91 awfulgoodmovies on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:46 am

    Woody Allen would be perfect to cast as Kermit.

  • 92 Meryl Streep on Jun 11, 2009 at 7:18 am

    Powerful stuff.

    Please get in touch with my agent asap.


  • 93 Michael on Jun 11, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Michael Corleone was a man that just wanted his family to leave him alone. He had a great girlfriend, a great job, and a great uniform. But when his father has an “accident” Michael’s forced to takeover the family business. Hilarity ensues as Michael’s forced to deal with his brother’s famous hot-temper, over eager business rivals, and baptism mishaps. From the people that brought you My Big Fat Greek Wedding comes another tale of immigrant family fun and frustration. For the best in family entertainment, it’s The Godfather this summer.

  • 94 randommanthefirst on Jun 11, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Oh man, this was almost painful to read.

    Nicely done.

  • 95 Mike Bay Director on Jun 11, 2009 at 12:46 pm


    But I’m seeing more a Shia Labeouf, Megan Fox kinda thing..

    Let’s do lunch.

    Michael Bay

  • 96 Kyle S on Jun 11, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    The Godfather movies are totally like the mafia version of the Police Academy franchise.

    Plus, the second film in both series is way funnier.

  • 97 Derrek J. Thompson on Jun 11, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Ray Ferrier was down on his luck. With two kids with additoode and an angry ex-wife, he just didn’t know what to do. But when a group of alien visitors from afar came to visit, evrything changed. Starring Tom Cruise, (Tropic Thunder), and Dakota Fanning, (The Cat in The Hat), it’s The War of The Worlds. Don’t miss this uproarious remake of the sci-fi comedy classic.

  • 98 Jim McD on Jun 11, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    Greed and ambition abound in this tale of crime and class. Rodolfo Lassparri is a singer just starting out in New York. However, it isn’t long before he finds his steps haunted by three foreign gentlemen with their own ideas about Lassparri’s career. WIth the police unable to help him and his love undoubtedly in league with this sinister cabal, who, if anyone, can Lassparri trust? And just who is this mysterious Mr. Driftwood? It’s a race against time as Lassparri evades extortion and kidnapping to survive…


  • 99 Michael on Jun 11, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    Are we allowed to submit more than one entry?

  • 100 Kyle K on Jun 11, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    (not really playing by the rules, but I’m throwing it out there anyway)

    Two lovers, brought together by love but torn by the desires of their mad families, needed to flee the city, seeking refuge from his callous rival and her dangerously jealous friend, both willing to follow them to Hell itself.

    Seven actors, desperately poor, put all their hopes in the production of one last play, seeking a secluded place to perfect the art and please their ravenous king.

    They all found… the woods.

    But if you go out in the woods today…

    You’re sure of a big surprise.

    Because when the night falls on the forest, no one is safe from… them.

    From the spine-tingling author of Titus Andronicus and Richard III, comes a story of the things that go bump in the night, of minds taken hostage, passions ensnared and diverted, and of men reduced to beasts, made slaves of the lustful beings from beyond the veil.

    They are powerful.

    They are uncaring.

    They are coming for us.

    Lord what fools we mortals be.

    William Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”

  • 101 Frank J. on Jun 11, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    In the spirit of TRAINSPOTTING, a tragic look at the effects of drug addiction. Two friends, Jesse Montgomery and Chester Greenburg, finally hit rock bottom, waking up one morning unable to remember the night before. They try to piece together what had happened, but their drug-addled minds are no longer able to discern reality from hallucination. They find themselves attacked by transsexuals and imprisoned by a sexually perverted farmer, but it’s never clear how much of it is simply in their confused heads. They descend into madness, eventually believing aliens are among them and that a Rubik’s cube they possess is the key to stopping them. Tying all their delusions together is the search for Jesse’s vehicle, symbolic of the elusive hope of an escape from the nightmare they’ve made themselves.

    DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR? stars Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott in their most tragic and terrifying rolls yet.

  • 102 Mr. Slick on Jun 11, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    What happens when you get a mentally challenged meat packer, a cranky has-been ex-athlete and an unassuming mousey virgin? A recipe for hilarity! This summer join America’s favorite funny man Sylvester Stallone as he tells the story of a likeable thug thrown into the wacky world of professional boxing in “Rocky” You to will believe that watching a mentally slow person get beaten up is funny!

  • 103 Prof. Numbers on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    I vote for this.

  • 104 Prof. Numbers on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    I laughed at ‘forbidden love’.

  • 105 BDiamond on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    Before Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, there were the real “Men in Black”: Moses, Lawrence, and Jerome. In a world facing rampant disease, trauma and a looming health care crisis, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine and Dr. Howard spread out and flout the rules to turn a hospital administration upside down for the sake of their patients.

    Rules are meant for ordinary doctors. Rules are meant for those who don’t care. But these medical mavericks care . . . sometimes too much.

    They are The Three Surgeons in “Men in Black.”

    No one will be seated during surgery. Rated PG-13 for scenes of intense anakanapuner, seenophran and cotton.

  • 106 Jim McD on Jun 11, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    This one doesn’t have to count for the contest. I just did it for fun.

  • 107 chrismartindeed on Jun 11, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    The certifiably madcap James Cameron has struck again, punching out the biggest comedy spectacle since ‘Airplane’.

    Modern-day dude Bill Paxton searches for a fabled gem that supposedly went down with the Titanic. What he gets instead is a feisty old biddy… and the most expensive flashback in cinema history.

    Suddenly it’s the 1912 prequel to ‘Love Boat’, as toothsome Kate Winslet sails to America for a dreary marriage to stuffed shirt Billy Zane (Wait till you see him with a full head of hair). But she falls hard for slacker Leonardo DiCaprio, who helps her find true joy in spitting, smoking, boozing, and nude posing. The two of them wind up inside an early Renault (Trust the French to dream up the funniest cars) for the first backseat rumble in human history.

    Meanwhile, passengers who want ice for their drinks are about to get more than they bargained for.

  • 108 BEMaven on Jun 11, 2009 at 11:50 pm

    Any movie starring Pauley Shore.

    It’s the very essence of tragedy.

  • 109 Jason Wilkinson on Jun 12, 2009 at 3:09 am

    Four friends set out for what is supposed to be a fun filled night in Las Vegas for Doug’s bachelor party. But their joyous celebration soon turns into a night they’ll never remember, and a disaster they’ll never forget. They awake to the realization that they have been drugged, and Doug has gone missing.
    The aftermath of the night before thrusts them into a dangerous deal with ruthless Chinese gangsters to raise $80,000 in one night in order to rescue their friend who has allegedly been kidnapped by the thugs. With no memory of the events of the night, they begin a frantic race against the clock. They quickly discover that they’re on the run from the police, and are in posession of a lethal object belonging to a prized boxer with a grudge.

    Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, and Justin Bartha star in: THE HANGOVER.

  • 110 IMAO » Blog Archive » Genre Switcheroo on Jun 12, 2009 at 6:33 am

    [...] The RiffTrax blog is having a contest to take a comedy and re-pitch it as a drama or vice versa. Here’s my entry: In the spirit of TRAINSPOTTING, a tragic look at the effects of drug addiction. Two friends, Jesse Montgomery and Chester Greenburg, finally hit rock bottom, waking up one morning unable to remember the night before. They try to piece together what had happened, but their drug-addled minds are no longer able to discern reality from hallucination. They find themselves attacked by transsexuals and imprisoned by a sexually perverted farmer, but it’s never clear how much of it is simply in their confused heads. They descend into madness, eventually believing aliens are among them and that a Rubik’s cube they possess is the key to stopping them. Tying all their delusions together is the search for Jesse’s vehicle, symbolic of the elusive hope of an escape from the nightmare they’ve made themselves. [...]

  • 111 Moe Lane » This Rifftrax contest is harder than it looks. on Jun 12, 2009 at 6:49 am

    [...] Via IMAO: CONTEST: Movie Genre Switcheroo [...]

  • 112 Gina on Jun 12, 2009 at 6:55 am

    Awesome. I like you how you worked in the “Whatever” along with the Dogs, Rats, Pigs, Animal, etc. :-)

  • 113 Gina on Jun 12, 2009 at 7:44 am

    She’s just a simple girl who loves cacti. He’s a bloodthirsty stalker who sparkles. Can two oddball misfits find true love . . . or will they just be left battling over the custody of the Golden Onion? Find out in “Twilight,” the wacky romantic comedy with a heart — a dead, frozen, bloodless heart!

  • 114 Gina on Jun 12, 2009 at 7:45 am

    Love it!

  • 115 Bobby Phillips on Jun 12, 2009 at 8:39 am

    A shiny red bike was the last birthday present that little Pee Wee ever received from his old man before he went off to die in ‘Nam. As a grown man, Pee Wee inadvertently crosses a shady corporation that is involved in the bike trade, and suddenly the only material link to Pee Wee’s dead father is missing. Now Pee Wee uses all his connections and skills as a child magician to turn the entire American southwest upside down in his determined quest to recover his father’s bicycle. Brian Seagers of the Washington Times writes, “Pee Wee is a relentless attack machine who mercilessly pursues his enemies.” This contemporary action thriller from acclaimed director Tim Burton has been called by Ebert and Roeper “pedal to the medal… Jack Bauer on steroids.” You won’t want to miss the biggest motion picture event of the summer: PEE WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE.

  • 116 Joey on Jun 12, 2009 at 9:02 am

    In a world where sports have gone commercial, stadiums are named after failing banks, and teams move from one city to the next with no regard for their fans, people are losing interest in athletics. There are no more heroes for children to look up to. No inspiration to be great. But two men have not given up on their childhood dreams.

    In a story of poverty, tragedy, grand dreams, and a speedy rise to fame, Joe Cooper (Trey Parker) and Doug Reemer (Matt Stone) overcome all odds and a strained friendship to create a new pastime for a country in turmoil. A game where men with bad backs and bad knees can compete with guys that are all goosed up on ‘roids. A game for the everyday man. A game…of hope.


  • 117 pjwaldron on Jun 12, 2009 at 9:54 am

    OK, one more:
    Edwina’s a no-nonsense cop with a promising future; H.I. is the three-time loser and petty crook who has stolen her heart. But their newfound happiness together is shattered when they discover that her womb is a rocky place, where his seed can find no purchase. Yearning to build the family that nature has denied them, they make a desperate decision that will CHANGE THEIR LIVES FOREVER (cue pounding drums). Now they’re on the run—from the law, from a ruthless pair of escaped convicts, and from a dark and unrelenting agent of vengeance, a warthog from hell that may be of H.I.’s own creating. With the greatest chase sequence since THE FRENCH CONNECTION, Ed and H.I. are raising hell, raising the stakes, and RAISING ARIZONA. All they have is each other, an empty gun, and a box of Huggies.
    (cut to Nic Cage) “Well, it ain’t Ozzie and Harriet.”

  • 118 Stephen on Jun 12, 2009 at 10:15 am

    This is the tragic story of three men in their thirties, already in the midst of a mid-life crisis. Mitch, a lawyer, just left his sexually obsessive girlfriend. Frank is a newlywed with a troubled marriage from the start, one exasperated by his rekindled alcoholism. Bernard, appearing to “have it all,” including a wife, child, and his own stereo franchise, is likewise in a rut. Instead of confronting their problems, they seek to bury their troubles in alcohol, younger women, and a fraternity of college-age boys. Mitch, after a sexual relationship with a high school girl, seeks the comfort of a single mother dealing with her own emotionally abusive relationship. The group’s attempts to cope with their suburbanite lifestyles lead to the expulsion of several college boys, to Frank’s divorce, and to the tragic death of a war veteran. Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn, and Will Ferrell star in “Old School.”

  • 119 awfulgoodmovies on Jun 12, 2009 at 10:40 am

    ‘Alien’ (Comedy 1967)


    Jim “Shazam!” Nabors as Dallas
    Elke Sommer as Ripley
    Don Rickles as Kane
    Frankie “Frankie” Avalon as Lambert
    Don Ho as Ash
    Earnest Borgnine as the Alien


    Not much of a plot I’m afraid…..Some stuff happens, like finding the alien ship….I’ve written a Avalon/ Sommer romance part and a great scene with Rickles and a goat, but I really don’t have the budget for writers…….honestly, I’m hoping with the ‘all-star’ cast, it’ll kinda write itself?….. and if we show Elke in her underwear…. it should do well at the box office…..

  • 120 Gates on Jun 12, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Mst3k (Drama)

    A young man named Mike Nelson is abducted by a mad scientist during his stint as a temp worker. Unable to contact his struggling family, Mike is stuck up in the satellite of love with two traumatized robots. Can he answers their questions about why they were created to suffer with their master? Why did their loving creator/master leave them behind to suffer the same fate he was desperate to escape?

    Will Mike Nelson and the robots be able to retain their sanity during the mind shatteringly awful movies they are forced to watch on pain of death? Find out by watching mst3k, a heartwarming and tragic story about family and accepting ones situation.

  • 121 awfulgoodmovies on Jun 12, 2009 at 10:57 am

    Oh…. and I ‘acquired’ some interesting photos of Nabors……So he’s basically working for free! ;-)

  • 122 Dr. Mayhem on Jun 12, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    An immature billionaire with insomnia issues and an unfunny clown pair off in this this brilliant moral satire. Bruce Wayne is the eccentric womanizer who can’t have the one woman he wants. He struggles to reconcile her to his alter ego, but after frustration he eventually chooses a dashing city attorney named Harvey Dent instead. His clown compatriot–whose career was inspired by Bruce in the first place–tries a number of what can only be described as insane stunts to get Bruce’s attention, but is ultimately left hanging out in the cold. Meanwhile, Bruce’s friend Lucius Fox complicates things by threatening to leave after Bruce upgrades his calling plan. Despite their dramatic falling out, we are left with a feeling that we will be seeing all these whacky characters together again sometime soon. Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, and Aaron Eckhart star in “The Dark Knight.”

  • 123 chrismartindeed on Jun 12, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Adam Sandler, who earns a living as (insert unlikely profession) and desperately seeks the love of (insert name of sexy actress) and the respect of his peers resorts to (insert outrageous ploy). After many twists and turns, he attains all his cherished goals in a climax that will bring tears to the eyes of film critics.

  • 124 Son of Bob on Jun 12, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    They were three friends on a journey…together. But they weren’t alone. Following several mysterious deaths, they were now stalked by the bearded cameraman who followed them everywhere. Enlisting the aid of a bat-toting manager, they crisscrossed the countryside, battling unpredictable obstacles in a journey of self-discovery that would lead them from Stonehenge to space pods, in an attempt to climb from the depths of their own personal Hell hole. But, what do you do when you finally discover it’s your own company that won’t allow your release? If you’re David, Nigel and Derek, when the question is “How much more black could it be?” it’s time to turn it up to 11. Michael McKean, Christopher Guest and Harry Shearer star in the Rob Reiner thriller, This Is Spinal Tap

  • 125 Sherri on Jun 12, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.

  • 126 Wesley Stamper on Jun 12, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    Inside the heart of every one of us there dwells a remnant of the primitive sun worshipper, trudging through Autumn, Winter, and Spring, awaiting the return of Ra and the freedom he offers from the dreary toils of school or work. The sunshine sends down its clarion call to man, woman, and child, imploring them to cast off the shackles of their responsibilities and engage in some well deserved recreational activities.
    Five far out teenagers heed this call, hop into the van, and take a trip to the country for a dip in the ol’ swimmin’ hole. Well, the swimmin’ hole is dry, but no matter, their tedium is soon remedied once they make the acquaintance of the neighbours. The teens find themselves captivated by the rural charm of their new found friends and partake of a slice of the simple life.
    Enjoy the best barbecue this side of the Brazos in:
    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

  • 127 Beaneater on Jun 13, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    Abandoned to a soul-crushing eternity of solitude… his very self wracked by meaningless toil, each day a dusty copy of the day before… desperately clinging to a fantasy world of memory… Feel his bewilderment and shock when the outside world drives itself into his life again with laser-like fierceness. Will the possibility of love revive him or simply drive him insane? Don’t miss the poignant struggles of…


  • 128 SageGaspar on Jun 14, 2009 at 10:50 am

    The Superbowl. Heroes are forged on this field of battle… and lives can be shattered in a moment, by just one… errant… snap.

    Thus began the saga of Dolphins’ kicker Ray Finkle: scapegoated by the team he loved, ostracized by his friends and family, and ultimately condemned to a mental institution for the crime of being different.

    In a uniquely human triumph, Finkle came to grips with his transsexuality and clawed his way to the top of the elite Florida PD. But then came a case that hit a little too close to home, and a psychopathic “pet detective” whose obsessive search for the truth could ruin everything.

    Ace Ventura.

    Laces out.

  • 129 ChiliKing20 on Jun 15, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    Better late than never…. or not

    Mark Warren (Wesley Snipes) is arrested after a routine traffic accident and the police think he is a wanted federal fugitive. In this madcap comedy, Warren (Snipes) shares the flight to prison with Deputy U.S. Marshal Sam Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones) Then the inmates take over the plane causing it crash. Warren (Snipes) is missing and the chase is on. Join Tommy Lee Jones and his ragtag bunch of idiots as they attempt to find Warren (Snipes). Also starring Robert Downey Jr. as a drunk cop who just wants to cover up all his mistakes.

  • 130 Earl Fando on Jun 16, 2009 at 5:29 am

    It’s way after the deadline, but just for fun…

    It’s a zany tale about the wacky exploits of a drop out knight during the feel good plague years of the Middle Ages. Who is the mysterious figure in black who is obsessed with chess and extreme dancing? Can the knight win the game of chess? Is the dark figure in black Johnny Cash? Will the young couple travelling with the knight drop dead from insinuating giggling or just get a room?

    It’s the real deal of comedy… The Seventh Seal

  • 131 Donald on Jun 16, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    I thought from the first line: “This is the tragic story of three men in their thirties, already in the midst of a mid-life crisis. ” that you were doing three men and a baby…

  • 132 online stock trading guru on Jan 10, 2010 at 4:08 pm

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