The RiffTrax Blog header image 1

Kevin’s New Look

July 22nd, 2009 by Kevin Murphy · 35 Comments

As Comic-Con looms, we’re packing our bags and heading out to San Diego with ENTIRELY NEW LOOKS!*  We’ve already made Bill and Mike over, now to the real trouble spot- Mr. K.W. Murphy.  Kevin’s owned a single pair of jeans for eleven years, and has watched his yellowing Munsingwear golf shirt go in and out of style six times.  Something must be done.

jozin z bazin.jpg

Now here’s Kevin (right, with Bill Corbett) sporting his dreary old look.  His dogged refusal to surrender his facial hair is problematic, but we’ve come up with an elegant, sophisticated solution - the face mitten.

0014h 1

The beard is no longer a problem.  The loosely vested top accentuates Kevin’s broad shoulders and draws attention from his kidney fat and pit ham.  Sure it’s a bold statement, but is it bold enough?

We asked our readers to contribute their vision, and boy, was that ever the right idea! Daisyj worked the face mitten with something more leggy:

2.jpg

Wook, among other more adventurous combinations,  urges Kevin to adopt a more youthful line in his couture:

kevinshinyandnew.jpg

But it took BEMaven to put the whole thing together, and it hits you like a bolt out of the blue: OF COURSE!  THE BRIAN BLESSED LOOK!!!

kevin fashion angel.jpg

Here the beard is in balance with the wings, there’s a helmet (Kevin loves helmets) and he gets to show a little leg.  Okay a lot of leg.  All right, way too much leg.  But on an ursine fellow like Kevin, I believe we have assembled a comfortable, versatile look that’s absolutely perfect for Comic-Con.

Thank you all!  Hope none of this haunts your dreams!  It’ll certainly haunt mine!  On to the Con!

(*Looks may not be entirely new.)

Tags: Comic Con · Events · Fashion · In the Media · Joey Pants · RiffTrax · RiffTrax Live!

35 responses so far ↓

  • 1 ShutterBun on Jul 22, 2009 at 7:55 am

    Blessed art thou. See you Friday!

  • 2 jenifersf on Jul 22, 2009 at 8:34 am

    Pit ham? PIT HAM??

    Now I want ham. As a consolation prize for not being able to go to Comic Con.

  • 3 Krud on Jul 22, 2009 at 8:56 am

    When a warthog’s severed head is the most eye-pleasing thing on a page, something’s amiss. o_O

    Well done, Nightmare-Bringer.

  • 4 Erica on Jul 22, 2009 at 10:33 am

    Well I still don’t see what was wrong with the Raggedy Andy look.

  • 5 Fantagor on Jul 22, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    The oddest thing about the wings is that they don’t distract one from staring at those GORGEOUS meaty legs. Not very aerodynamic, but certain to wow them at the PTA’s next pool party mixer.

    Randy

  • 6 John Smith on Jul 22, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    LOL!!!

    All of these are great but the brian blessed one is perfection.

  • 7 Barry on Jul 22, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    Dyyyyiiiiiiiiiivvveeee!!

  • 8 pjwaldron on Jul 22, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Glad to see that Kevin has finally reached that level of fame where he can refer to himself in the third person. That’s Terrell Owens-level celebrity. Pay attention, Bill and Mike, you could learn from this guy.

  • 9 BEMaven on Jul 22, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Thank you all.

    This recognition helps to lessen the pain of my old war wound, inflicted by a hostile sewing machine during the Grenada operation.

    And to think I was worried about going over the top with the clothing budget.

    My back-up design would have placed Kevin inside a black rectangle… to conceal all his naughty bits… which I suspect extend all the way from the collar done down to the shins.

    Just one thing: who the hell is Brian Blessed?

  • 10 chrismartindeed on Jul 22, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    But how can you be sure the head is actually severed?

    He could be a fashion spy from Maxim magazine.

  • 11 Katie Jane on Jul 23, 2009 at 4:28 am

    Perfect solution – you won’t have to wax your legs like you would have with the face mitten outfit, but you can still show them off.

  • 12 jason on Jul 23, 2009 at 6:12 am

    Hahaha- I can remember seeing Flash Gordon when I was very young, and it horrifying me- that kind of acid-tinged 70s sci-fi feel mixed with beefy leather bearded flying men. Just fabulous.

    I wonder if Kevin will visit the silent movie theater that he wrote about having such a wonderful time at in his book. It made me want to go there and hear Bob Mitchell play, but I imagine he has passed away by now (or at least retired)…

  • 13 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Jul 23, 2009 at 8:01 am

    While Kevin sees himself as a modern day ursus horriblus I envision this true Renaiissance Man in stockings and doublet (or maybe triplet) carrying a freshly hand-written copy of Hamlet in his delicately gloved hands. Either that or a lime green leisure suit.

  • 14 jfe on Jul 23, 2009 at 10:15 am

    Well the wings are a bit much, but Mr. Murphy can pull it off with his matching physique. I do want to see the threesome in their new garb.

  • 15 Houndstooth Mind on Jul 23, 2009 at 11:35 am

    I heartily endorse any “new look” that shows off the legendary Murphy gams! Also the before shot seems to accentuate the fact that Kevin has no visible neck. The final ensemble draws the eye up and away from the unfortunate head-attached-directly-to-shoulders look!

  • 16 Wook on Jul 23, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Pit ham. The horror.

    Prince Vult-Ham?

  • 17 Wook on Jul 23, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    In the plus column, the no-visible-neck thing does help when photoshopping his head onto tiny pudgy babies or Hoyt Axton. Or steamy sexy lunch ladies.

    I’ve said too much.

  • 18 Houndstooth Mind on Jul 23, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    I believe pit ham and kidney fat are both flavors of UK meat pies.

  • 19 Wook on Jul 24, 2009 at 5:44 am

    They should be a pro wrestling duo.

  • 20 Wook on Jul 24, 2009 at 5:53 am

    Judging from this, you’re spot on sir. I think it’s about the armor.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaDibW_BTvg

  • 21 jason on Jul 24, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    I also wonder if he attended this:

    http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/comic-con/new-moon-panel/story/feature/?GT1=28140

    Noooo! Not a Minor Threat shirt!

  • 22 euphoriafish on Jul 24, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    Ok, so the Comic Con fashions are settled. But what about next month’s Nashville shindig?

    Will we see Bill Corbett in a ten gallon hat? Mike dressed for the Grand Ol Opry?? Kevin in chaps??? O.o Oh dear, my mind is going places I don’t like again…

  • 23 jack the autumn on Jul 25, 2009 at 1:00 am

    Whoa! That picture of Brian Blessed caught me off guard.. You really need to tag this post as NSFW due to that photo alone.

  • 24 BEMaven on Jul 25, 2009 at 4:20 am

    Not Suitable For Work?

    Nonsense.

    At my last contract job, the guy in the cubicle next to me dressed like Pygar the Blind Angel from Barberella.

  • 25 starfighter on Jul 25, 2009 at 9:05 am

    Brian Blessed is to play Odin in Branagh’s Thor movie. Any chance he might be at Comi-Con in a couple years so Kevin could compare outfits?

  • 26 rebisaz on Jul 25, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    AHEM. I have been at Comic-Con the past two days, and I have not seen *any* of the aforementioned new looks on any of you. Did these new looks never get out of committee?

  • 27 rebisaz on Jul 25, 2009 at 10:31 pm

    ..though I should say that Bill did wear the green plaid coat and red bow time from the first picture above, and it was stunning.

  • 28 chrismartindeed on Jul 26, 2009 at 7:47 am

    Perhaps you saw their stunt doubles.

    A stunt double is always advisable when visiting San Diego.

  • 29 valdisfox on Jul 26, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    You mean… Kevin Murphy and Brian Blessed are /two/ different people? I’m in denial now, much like when my friends had the intervention to prove to me that Joan Collins was not Elizabeth Taylor, Eminem is not Moby on crack after being rolled over a landfill for several miles, and Marlon Brando was not, in fact, the Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man. I need to go lie down. This means that Kevin, not Brian, signed my ‘Blackadder’ Series One DVDs. Oh well, they’re more valuable that way. ^.^

  • 30 Steve R. on Jul 28, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    Why don’t u guys update the blog anymore? it makes me sad. I guess you guys just don’t like us…

  • 31 防犯カメラ on Apr 19, 2011 at 12:07 am

    防犯カメラ:http://www.joinspy.com/
    スパイカメラ:http://www.joinspy.com/category-238-b0.html
    ペン型 ビデオカメラ:http://www.joinspy.com/category-253-b0.html

  • 32 巨人倍増 on Jun 20, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    Why don’t u guys update the blog anymore? it makes me sad. I guess you guys just don’t like us…

  • 33 蟻力神 on Jul 5, 2011 at 1:27 am

    精力剤:http://www.hellokanpo.com/JingLiJi
    早漏防止:http://www.hellokanpo.com/JingLiJi/zaoxie.html
    漢方薬:http://www.hellokanpo.com/hanfang
    女性用媚薬:http://www.hellokanpo.com/meiyao

  • 34 ブランド 腕時計 on Aug 23, 2011 at 2:12 am

    http://www.brandwatchjp.com/ へようこそ。当社は2004年に設立され、2006年にインターネットマーケティング事業にコミットされました。 の大きな需要が常にあり、よく販売している。最近、我々はいくつかの新しいsac à mainして、当社のウェブサイト上でそれらを更新。ここでは見つけることができるいくつかの稀少ある、他のウェブサイトから見つけることは困難れた。NBAジャージはhotsaleで常にもです。
    私たちは、お客様から多くの偉大なコメントを得て、外国のmakertsで良い評判を獲得している、90%以上のお客様は今すぐオンラインメンバーが80,000を超えてブランド激安通販店まで、当社の製品およびサービスに満足しています。今の時点で、我々は現在、18カ国以上から顧客にサービスを提供し、そして我々はまだ成長している。私たちは本当に世界中から個人や企業との協力を通じて事業拡大を願っています。