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Rifftrax August Appetizer: Diesel Fumes

August 5th, 2009 by Kevin Murphy · 14 Comments

Can’t wait for our nationwide RIFFTRAX LIVE show on August 20th?  Whet your appetite with this fresh summer riff:  Fast & Furious!  It’s just like The Fast and the Furious but without all those annoying articles in the title.  You can think of Vin Diesel as a leaner, slightly less successful version of Plan 9’s Tor Johnson.

tor diesel

See what I mean?  By the way, Tor’s on the left. Tor’s a bit easier to understand than Vin, even with the former’s thick Scandinavian accent.  Whereas Tor’s blunt tenor dialogue delivery puts me in mind of a slab of aluminum pig, the deep mumbly register of Vin’s voice has been known to set off car alarms.  As for raw acting ability, it’s a toss-up for me.  But there’s enough of Tor in Vin to get your cinematic taste buds primed for August 20th.

In the meantime, here’s a  quick and easy summer recipe inspired by the plot of Fast and Furious.

FAST AND FURIOUS POTATO SALAD
Serves 8-10 as a side dish

6 lbs. large russet potatoes, skin on
1- Mossberg 590 Mariner 8+1 12 gauge shotgun
6 – shells 00 buckshot
1 – 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS LS6 454 (preferably red)
Salt and pepper to taste

- BEAT potatoes one by one with your bare fists until soft.
-FIRE one round of buckshot into each shell, distributing shot evenly as possible
-PULVERIZE potatoes by driving over them with Chevelle until well mixed
-Season with salt and pepper.

Tags: Events · Monsters · RiffTrax · RiffTrax Live! · movies

14 responses so far ↓

  • 1 James Shearhart on Aug 5, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Double-ought? Really? I find it mucks with the Chevelle a bit, and tends to offer an aftertaste of Corvair in the final dish….

  • 2 rebisaz on Aug 5, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Damn it. I knew when I sold my dad’s ‘70 Chevelle that I’d be sorry one day. “I’m going to need this for potato salad, I just know it”, I thought to myself. And sure enough.

  • 3 bullwinkle on Aug 5, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Vat, no mustard? Not even a nice pickle on the side? Oy.

  • 4 Erica on Aug 5, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    No mayo? What the hell?

  • 5 Kevin Murphy on Aug 5, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    Yeah well it’s German potato salad. You know how THEY are.
    -kwm

  • 6 jfe on Aug 5, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    Iff its German potato salad, are you sure that is enough ammunition?

  • 7 Erica on Aug 5, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    Ahh…my thought was this was sort of an international potato salad… A potato salad “Epcot,” if you will.

    I do demand that you add vinegar, however. Where are the Germans on vinegar?

  • 8 JackTheRiffer on Aug 5, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    You’re right. I find the sheer mass of the 12 gauge slug to be much more pleasing to the tastebuds!

  • 9 Libby on Aug 5, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    While I won’t be there in person, I have my ticket ready for the showing in my city, so I’ll be watching you guys!!

  • 10 Jim Treacher on Aug 5, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    The next 3 sequels:

    Fast-n-Fyur
    Fahfr
    Fffff

    No Vin Diesel movie should have a title he can’t say in one grunt.

  • 11 Earl Fando on Aug 7, 2009 at 7:49 am

    And the tire tracks make for a conversation-starting presentation of the dish.

    “Did you use Goodyears or Michelins?”
    “Why, Michelins of course! Bobby Flay says Michelins are the only tires for potato salad.”

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