Can’t wait for our nationwide RIFFTRAX LIVE show on August 20th? Whet your appetite with this fresh summer riff: Fast & Furious! It’s just like The Fast and the Furious but without all those annoying articles in the title. You can think of Vin Diesel as a leaner, slightly less successful version of Plan 9’s Tor Johnson.
See what I mean? By the way, Tor’s on the left. Tor’s a bit easier to understand than Vin, even with the former’s thick Scandinavian accent. Whereas Tor’s blunt tenor dialogue delivery puts me in mind of a slab of aluminum pig, the deep mumbly register of Vin’s voice has been known to set off car alarms. As for raw acting ability, it’s a toss-up for me. But there’s enough of Tor in Vin to get your cinematic taste buds primed for August 20th.
In the meantime, here’s a quick and easy summer recipe inspired by the plot of Fast and Furious.
FAST AND FURIOUS POTATO SALAD
Serves 8-10 as a side dish
6 lbs. large russet potatoes, skin on
1- Mossberg 590 Mariner 8+1 12 gauge shotgun
6 – shells 00 buckshot
1 – 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS LS6 454 (preferably red)
Salt and pepper to taste
- BEAT potatoes one by one with your bare fists until soft.
-FIRE one round of buckshot into each shell, distributing shot evenly as possible
-PULVERIZE potatoes by driving over them with Chevelle until well mixed
-Season with salt and pepper.