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What To Do When Twitter Tanks

August 6th, 2009 by Kevin Murphy · 49 Comments

164522 no twitter originalSo Twitter is down, big time.  Last word is that they’re defending themselves against a “denial-of-service attack”  Not sure what that is, or if it involves orcs, but it sounds bad. And now Facebook is groaning under the strain of people needing to send each other brief messages and read those of others.

It’s mercurial, this internets of ours, unpredictable and volatile.  The tubes get clogged, people wail and weep, but the sun rises and sets and the local bakery still has crullers on special.  Here at Rifftrax we’ve had the hard crashes that come from being swamped with attention.  It’s not fun, but it’s oddly comforting  to know that we’re not the only ones.

So here’s a suggestion: Today, use the time you’d normally waste on Twitter here.  Maybe download and enjoy one of our shorts.  Or order tickets to our August 20th nationwide live show in theaters everywhere.  Drop in on the forum and discuss movies, social networking, breakfast meats, whatever strikes your fancy.  Then maybe take a walk.  it’s a nice day here; if you have rain, bring an umbrella, or get a little wet.  You could even head down to the local bakery and get yourself a cruller.

Why hell, you could have a nice conversation!  For instance: This is what we in the Midwest call a cruller, particularly in Wisconsin:


Whereas many of you in other parts of the country call this a cruller:


We call that a French donut, which makes it no less delicious.  There, see?  we’re having a conversation, learning about each other without any social networking. In fact, why don’t you folks give us and each other some ideas on what to do when your favorite social networking service is offline.  And enjoy a potentially Twit-free day.


Tags: Events · In the Media · Memes · RiffTrax · RiffTrax Live! · food

49 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Mike on Aug 6, 2009 at 7:25 am

    And up here in western Canada we call that a French Cruller. You know, I want to follow that up with something witty but I just can’t.

  • 2 doggans on Aug 6, 2009 at 7:50 am

    Twitter seems to be back. I suspect its downtime was political backlash for the #emmysfail controversy. DAMN YOU, HOLLYWOOD!

  • 3 Erica on Aug 6, 2009 at 8:21 am

    I think its my fault – I finally decided to get a twitter account this morning and the Internet froze over. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

  • 4 Adam on Aug 6, 2009 at 8:59 am

    We call it a French Cruller here in Pittsburgh too…

    Perhaps we aren’t too different, we here in the ‘burgh, and you, our neighbors in the great white north. Perhaps with the power of donuts, we can mend this long standing rift that has separated us.

  • 5 Kruge on Aug 6, 2009 at 9:12 am

    Looks like a Krapfen to me – at least that’s what we Germans call Donuts and stuff like that if we don’t call them Donuts. :)

    *“denial-of-service attack” Not sure what that is*

    Well, to (over)simplify it: A DOS-attack is pretty much the same as rifftrax crashing because of being swamped with attention, with the difference that all the attention isn’t created by loads of ppl coming here at once but by one person running some software that *pretends* to be thousands of people coming here at once.

  • 6 John Smith on Aug 6, 2009 at 9:37 am

    Am I think only one who’s dying to tweet about thinking a cruller was a kind of fishing lure and finding out it’s a type of krapfen instead?

  • 7 John Smith on Aug 6, 2009 at 9:38 am

    Come with us, Ms. Anderson.

  • 8 Mars on Aug 6, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Doug: “Okay, one pineapple-filled donut, and a six pack of cruellers.”

    Bob: “A six?!”

    Doug: “Yeah, for me eh, I didn’t have any dinner.”

    Bob: “And you’re not gonna have any breakfast either.”

  • 9 blablover5 on Aug 6, 2009 at 10:09 am

    I find the juxtaposition of the widget displaying all the guys twitter feeds next to a post about how one should take a break from the little hyperactive bird almost as delicious as that first cruller.

  • 10 Shawn on Aug 6, 2009 at 10:18 am

    In New England, we call stick-like donuts “crullers” as well, even at Dunkin’ Donuts. The longish pastry on the far left of the photo is what I identify as a cruller:

    Of course, my mother, coming from particularly traditional stock, wouldn’t drink that with soda, pop or coke, but *tonic*. Which’d be gross either way, but hell – regional terms!

  • 11 chrismartindeed on Aug 6, 2009 at 10:27 am

    In Michigan, we refer to the Cruller/French Donut as Twitter.

    Only because it’s really flaky and devoid of healthy content.

  • 12 Meltha on Aug 6, 2009 at 11:26 am

    See, I’d call that bottom one “the weird swirly-looking donut.” A crueller is more torpedo-shaped, but not so dark as the pic on top, and it contains wonderous pastry cream.

    On the other hand, you’ve got paczkis. Pronounced poonch-keys (or various other ways that result in much chest thumping and declarations of superior national identity). Now THOSE are the food of the gods, man, especially with raspberry filling.

  • 13 jason on Aug 6, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    “Reading cruller vs. French donut discussion on riffblog.”

  • 14 jason on Aug 6, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    “Just left comment about reading cruller vs. French donut discussion on riffblog”

  • 15 jason on Aug 6, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    “Scratching underarm while thinking about putting on my shoes and leaving for work (kinda late)”

  • 16 jason on Aug 6, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    Oops- I should have left “my” out of the last post, right? (I don’t actually have a Twitter account, so I’m kind of new to it)

  • 17 Erica on Aug 6, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Oh 18th century: How I’ll miss you! I still maintain my staunch anti-facebook platform, however.

  • 18 JackTheRiffer on Aug 6, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    Hey Kevin! Heads up! You’re twitter like is labeled wrong! It says “Follow Bill” Get with the times man! (OK, so I just joined twitter today… so sue me!)

  • 19 Erica on Aug 6, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    Me too – and apparently broke it. But I used my magic to fix it so, all better now!

  • 20 Erica on Aug 6, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    Like Reality TV!!

  • 21 jfe on Aug 6, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    Neither one looks like a crueller to me, but its been so long I’ve forgotton what they look like.

  • 22 jfe on Aug 6, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Oh and I’ve never tweeted so I guess I didn’t miss anything.

  • 23 Billy O'Connor on Aug 6, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    French donut?!

    I will bring all of my DDoS Orcs to bear on the blasphemers!

  • 24 DoughyGuy on Aug 6, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Well, see, the French Donut/Cruller, whatever you may call it, is mostly air. This allows you to shove the entire thing in your mouth in one bite and impress your date.


  • 25 BDiamond on Aug 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    Would a Cadillac Deville donut spare tire be known as….

    (all together now)

    a Cruller Deville?

    (now now, don’t dog me out for a spotty pun)

  • 26 Erica on Aug 6, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    I broke twitter again. I’m trying to reply to Bill’s post about The Jeffersons theme but it won’t let me. Either twitter hates me or the God of Sitcom Themes does.

  • 27 Erica on Aug 6, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    OK, since I can do magic things, I fixed twitter again. You’re welcome.

  • 28 euphoriafish on Aug 6, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    Yup, that’s a DOS-attack alright!

    Wonder if the Iranian government finally figured out how those work…

  • 29 euphoriafish on Aug 6, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    Oh, to be back in Michigan and have access to paczkis…

  • 30 euphoriafish on Aug 6, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    In the excitement of welcoming home a new hedgehog today, I completely forgot that the Twittersphere existed.

  • 31 Wook on Aug 7, 2009 at 5:57 am

    That Dunkin Donuts thing is actually the fifth input gear from a Wonkavator transfer case.

  • 32 Houndstooth Mind on Aug 7, 2009 at 6:57 am

    I was stuck at work in a windowless cubicle with no opportunity have a cruller, long john or a bismark. I just stared at gray tweed half walls. I didn’t even have the comfort of a fail whale! Poor me!

  • 33 Of Doughnuts and Denial of Service Attacks « The Heavy Table on Aug 7, 2009 at 7:07 am

    [...] are intent upon providing shelter from the Twitter- and Facebook-disrupting hack attacks… by sparking a discussion on the venerable French doughnut vs. Cruller debate, framed from a Wisconsin perspective. var [...]

  • 34 Earl Fando on Aug 7, 2009 at 7:46 am

    I always thought a “cruller” was someone who was meaner to you than someone else.

    Of course, some people use the term “french donut” to mean the same thing too, mostly Englishmen, I think.

  • 35 Michael ("Kruge") Briel on Aug 7, 2009 at 9:57 am

    @euphorafish – I was wondering if it was Iran related as well, after all both Twitter and Facebook were hit at the same time and those are pretty much the No1 forbidden pages for Iranians (filtered by the government there but made available for Iran’s citizens again via proxy by helping hands from all over the world)

  • 36 Michael ("Kruge") Briel on Aug 7, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Freddie Crueller – a Doughnut 0n Elm Street

  • 37 Michael ("Kruge") Briel on Aug 7, 2009 at 10:10 am

    PS: What they don’t want you to know about Ahmathingiejabbawabba’s inauguration:

    and: How Ahmathingiejabbawabba tries to win back the hearts of his people:


  • 38 John Smith on Aug 7, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    I’m sure his lack of knowedge is for comedic purposes considering many of his comments such as ‘just in time railroad repair’.

  • 39 JackTheRiffer on Aug 7, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    Wow!! Magic!! Awesome. Can you make a nickel disappear behind your ear?

  • 40 JackTheRiffer on Aug 7, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    That is either a great Joke… Or the worst attempt at a movie reference I’ve ever heard. I can’t decide.

  • 41 Erica on Aug 8, 2009 at 6:41 am

    Wait – it’s pronounced poonchkeys? Not judging, just asking…

  • 42 Erica on Aug 8, 2009 at 6:41 am

    what nickel? (get it? what nickel? disappear??)

  • 43 BDiamond on Aug 8, 2009 at 9:38 am

    And Cruller Deville didn’t get any love? Harrumph.

  • 44 Carol on Oct 10, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    I grew up in New Hampshire, and that fluffy doughnut shaped thing is no cruller. A cruller is oblong and twisted, and made from cake-doughnut batter, not yeast-doughnut batter.

    Notice the picture of the Rhode Island cruller in the blog cited below. Oblong and twisted. So obviously not all “Easterners” think that abomination is a cruller.

  • 45 防犯カメラ on Apr 19, 2011 at 12:13 am

    ペン型 ビデオカメラ:

  • 46 威哥王 on Jun 20, 2011 at 6:06 pm


  • 47 蟻力神 on Jul 4, 2011 at 1:08 am


  • 48 ブランド 腕時計 on Aug 23, 2011 at 2:08 am へようこそ。当社は2004年に設立され、2006年にインターネットマーケティング事業にコミットされました。 の大きな需要が常にあり、よく販売している。最近、我々はいくつかの新しいsac à mainして、当社のウェブサイト上でそれらを更新。ここでは見つけることができるいくつかの稀少ある、他のウェブサイトから見つけることは困難れた。NBAジャージはhotsaleで常にもです。