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For Kevin:

May 29th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 40 Comments

The rest of you can feel free to ignore it. Go back to Conor’s delightful post, if you must.
But with God as my witness, I will not let Kevin escape this.

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Important Hygiene News!

May 28th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 31 Comments

1) Clean yourself occasionally.
2) Instructions:

3) Becoming a Danish pixie-type is optional, but recommended.
*****
(h/t: Michael Kupperman)

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When stars aligned, oh so briefly…

May 27th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 32 Comments

…there was a shining moment when Greatness met Greatness.
William Shatner and Adam West in ALEXANDER THE GREAT:

…And as quickly as it began, the dream vanished.

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It’s all connected, man!

May 20th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 27 Comments

Photographic proof! The Powers That Be are all in cahoots, and all corrupt!
Right out of camera range: big Hollywood producers, scions of the Corn industry, and Lord Voldemort (who works part-time for Corn as well! SO CONNECTED!!).

Picture courtesy of THIS IS PHOTOBOMB. Very funny site, though often NSFW. [...]

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Bueller, don’t go in there….NNOOOOO!!!!!!!

May 10th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 22 Comments

Nicely done reimagining of FBDO as a horror movie:

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This… is… SPARTA!!

May 6th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 33 Comments

Sparta, Wisconsin, that is!

Sparta, the “Bicycling Capital of America!”

Sparta, where the 32-foot statue of Gay 90s (shut up) cyclist “Ben Bikin” greets you!

Sparta, where Ben Bikin’s tiny human counterpart “Little Ben” is happy to welcome you!
But stand warned: gently mock of any of the above, and you WILL get your ass kicked down a bottomless [...]

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Next up: pantsless pants!

May 4th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 44 Comments

The only obstacle to jumping rope: the rope.
Solved!

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Until today, I was very prone to bitchin’

May 4th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 32 Comments

…until this cop from COP ROCK rocked, and told me to quit it. Lesson learned!

Thanks to blablover5 for bringing COP ROCK back into our lives… and our hearts. Blablovers 1 through 4 never did anything that wonderful for us!

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The impromptu Rifftrax Live show…

April 28th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 47 Comments

…now belongs to history, as do buddies Wax President John Tyler and Wax President Gerald R. Ford.

Two points:
1) We’ll do more live online shows, and give more notice when so. The one we did today was an impromptu beta test.
2) The above picture has been posted because you DEMANDED more wax [...]

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NOT made of wax.

April 26th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 59 Comments

There. Happy now?

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Wax Hitler

April 25th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 76 Comments

…is fighting mad. After seeing my last blog post yesterday, he’s sworn to stay online day and night for the sole purpose of comparing me to his non-wax counterpart. You see, at the end of that piece I made an offhand, perhaps-unkind reference to one Bea Arthur.
Today she died. [...]

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Wax Dracula

April 24th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 66 Comments

…or “Waxula,” to his pals, is undoubtedly made of wax. He’ll admit that upfront. He’s not trying to fool anyone!

But don’t get him started on TWILIGHT. Wax Dracula insists that while he is indeed made of wax, he is roughly 7000 times scarier / more interesting than all that series’ vampires put [...]

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The Zodiac Cabaret is Over!

April 19th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 45 Comments

Wax J. Edgar Hoover says break it up and go home, everyone.

****
UPDATE: Though the figure above really is supposed to be J. Edgar, it’s possible they accidentally used latter-day Stooge “Curly” (ha!) Joe DeRita as model:

**Update by Mike**
Turns out it’s NOT a wax figure, simply a candid shot of the late Rodney Dangerfield.

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Saturday Night Zodiac Cabaret!

April 18th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 55 Comments

I know it’s a bold move to post this here… but I was born on March 30th, which makes me an Aries. Therefore I am, I am, I am the ram. I am, I am, I am the ram. I am, I am, I am the ram. I am, I am [...]

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Today is NOT National High Five Day

April 17th, 2009 by Bill Corbett · 71 Comments

…That’s what Wax Laurel and Hardy first thought when they awoke this morning, but then they were quickly distracted by a more urgent question:
“Why are we surrounded by chicken wire?”

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