Gary is in a huggin’ mood today.
***ADDED BY KEVIN***
But keep in mind, at any moment, without provocation, Gary can unhinge his powerful lower jaw and swallow you. Whole.

Twitter This

Username:
Password:

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

 Because it’s Friday, that’s why:

None of the things he describes, including leaving after his ministrations with “your mattress on your back” seems the least bit appealing to me. But then I’m not a lady.
Twitter This

Username:
Password:

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

Over on the RiffTrax front page we’re hosting a little poll to settle an issue raised by some wag who dared to suggest that my bobble head is not an exact likeness.

I don’t want to influence you in any way, but I will point out that as I type this, Chuck Woolery is leading.

Now, I’ll […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

…Was hoping that you’d at least make the effort to notice his hair.

It was bad enough that you said nothing - not a word - about his glasses.

And this coming after your slight concerning his scarf.

So come on, give Liam a little love.*
*Here “love” equals “beer”.
***UPDATE***
I thought I’d balance the above with a Gallagher who […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

RiffTrax own Josh Gemma is a beard/hairstyle chameleon, an artist working constantly in an underutilized medium (that is, hair.) In fact, though he seems resistant, but we are softening his resolve, hoping we can send him as our delegate to the World Beard and Mustache Championships in Anchorage. The competition is stiff, but he’s made […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

Well, it’s Friday, which means it’s time for another Battle of the Kyries, the liturgical “Lord have Mercy”. In this corner, Wolfgang Mozart and the Kyrie from his magisterial, almost miraculous Mass in C-minor:

And in this corner, the band Jonathon William Everingtonham Mister (you can just call them “Mr. Mister”) with their mid-80’s take on […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

Brought to my attention by RiffTrax own David D. Martin, this horror:

This is on the everyday menu at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub, meaning I guess that people regularly drop in after a racquetball game and order up a 100 pound hamburger.
I’m going to request that they fry me inside of one and I’ll see if […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

We now own - OWN - the ringtone market.

Bill as Bonesaw; Kevin calling you names; Mike exhorting you to remember the most important thing about pain you’ll ever learn - all emanating from your pocket! And unless and until you’ve heard Disembaudio croak out his own special paint-peelingly wonderful take on “Carol of the Bells”, […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

I try to put aside time every day to eat bacon, but some days, what with my having to occasionally speak without bacon slurry in my mouth, and having to be around people who, God forbid, don’t find the sight of me munching down slice after slice to be charming or even desirable to watch […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

The European Organization for Nuclear Research (a.k.a. CERN - the Europeans are no better at acronyms than they are at, say, playing baseball or designing electrical outlets) is getting closer to their goal of tampering with the very structure of the universe using their shiny new Large Hadron Collider (no acronym as of yet, so […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

Well, I’m getting one:

Can’t be that expensive. It’ll make getting to work a breeze (only me, some eagles and Jet-Man competing for the space). Only downside is having to cozy up to someone who owns his own airplane and is fine with giving me a lift every morning.
Twitter This

Username:
Password:

[…]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

RiffTrax World Headquarters remain entirely teen-free thanks to the hundreds of “mosquito noise” teen repellers that I ordered my 2nd day on the job here.

I love them almost unconditionally. What stops me just short is that because I am now and have always been fastidious about protecting my hearing, the noise they put out is […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

I’ve always known that actor Charles Durning was a veteran, but now that he is being honored by France, and I see some of the details, I stand in awe:
Actor Charles Durning landed on Normandy’s Omaha Beach as a 17-year-old Army Ranger in June 1944. Before leaving Europe, he was wounded three times and awarded […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

There being no clear winner, I was forced, and it was a difficult decision, to choose as our daily mascot not Palpatine…

But rather Palpatine’s chin-ass:

(Please see original post, below, if you’re coming to this cold and want to know what in the name of Hector P. Valente is going on.)
It’s that time of morning here […]

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]

Finally, someone had the courage to prove with mathematical certainty that to be in a Sci-Fi soap opera while wearing a red shirt is essentially a death sentence.
Twitter This

Username:
Password:

Twitter This

Username: Password:

[Read more →]