Say, it’s been a while, whaddya say we check
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Entries Tagged as 'Creepitometry'
October 29th, 2009 by Kevin Murphy · 31 Comments
Say, it’s been a while, whaddya say we check
April 3rd, 2009 by Kevin Murphy · 120 Comments
Folks, I need your advice. it concerns this phone. It just showed up in the mail one day, no box, no wrapper of any kind, but with a note taped to it that said “You’ll know what to do.” What in God’s name is it for? What’s it connected to? That naked front panel is [...]
March 7th, 2009 by Kevin Murphy · 38 Comments
…Hopes you have a good weekend. He also wants you to know that he loves you all. He loves you very, very much. I mean, wow, he loves you so much, it’s almost indecent. Strike that, it is indecent. But if loving you is wrong, Skeletor doesn’t wanna be right.
Ah. you laugh. See, if you’d [...]
January 9th, 2009 by Conor Lastowka · 26 Comments
Kids these days! Playing the damn xbox instead of enjoying the classics! How can we get them more interested in the arts, especially Poetry, the Urkel of the arts?
Was your suggestion TAKING PHOTOS OF DEAD POETS AND ANIMATING THEM TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY ARE READING THEIR POEMS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE?!?!
Example: Here is [...]
December 31st, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 75 Comments
it’s a daunting task, chasing down a song that will plainly and commonly be considered bad by peoples of all cultures, ages, races, sexes and nationalities. I find I must leave my own eclecticisms behind – e.g. my affection for the assless be-underpanted idiocy of Devendra Banhart – but I must also keep my bile [...]
November 26th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 99 Comments
I’m preparing this weekend to see the latest Bond film, Quantum of Solace, at my local googleplex.* And I’m a little concerned that I may not take away from it any measurable quantity of comfort which would aid me in a time of duress. However, I’m certain that there are other Quantities of other Entities [...]
October 7th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 34 Comments
Occasionally my dog Boomer feels compelled to review a movie, generally when that movie includes a dog or dogs, and this fall’s releases promise to keep him busy.
BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA: No Paws (out of four)
Okay, let’s get this straight: Chihuahuas are not dogs. They’re long-legged mutant rats developed by Nazi scientists in the 1930s and [...]
August 6th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 61 Comments
It was easy to focus on Devendra Banhart as bad artist of the week; his songs could fill out an entire calendar. But to pick one single song as our week’s portion of yuck was excruciating. Witness for example one of his signature songs, performed here on Jools Holland’s show. Enjoy the [...]
June 2nd, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 42 Comments
Recently I commissioned my niece Laurel to comb the airwaves for the very worst in popular song, what Lucille Ball might call “poopular.” Laurel is exceedingly qualified for her task, being a young college student who commutes to school and work and listens to local radio stations offering Solid Rock, Real Country, and [...]
June 2nd, 2008 by Conor Lastowka · 17 Comments
Back in the days before television devolved into the Love Cruise-taking, maggot-eating, Tanner-householding mess than it is now, families used to gather around the tube to watch wholesome entertainment such as James Earl Jones reciting the alphabet. Yes it’s true: James Earl Jones once was a young man. This clip comes from his [...]
May 13th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 20 Comments
…Wanted to let you know he’s been having a great day, and his fully merged form only makes him more powerful.
March 4th, 2008 by Conor Lastowka · 33 Comments
I have played quite a bit of “Ladder Golf” since the weather turned permanently nice here a week or so ago. Ladder Golf belongs to the horseshoes, bocce ball, beanbag toss family of games, which all have in common the fact that they are easily played, and some said only made tolerable, with a [...]
January 15th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 19 Comments
Man. I step away for two minutes and I find yet another conspiracy simmering away right under our very noses.
This is Dame Edith Sitwell, Woman of Letters, esteemed poet, critic, novelist, droll defender of literary modernism. She died in 1964 at the age of 77….Or did she?
This is “Trent Reznor,” as [...]
January 3rd, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 28 Comments
I’m concerned about our Master Riffer Michael J. Nelson. He’s been issuing a torrent of inter-office memos recently, and they seem to be getting more worrisome by the day. Well here, take a look at this example:
DATE: January 3, 2008
TO: All Rifftrax Employees
FROM: Master Riffer Michael J. “Mike” Nelson
RE: Simple Human Gratitude
I hope [...]
December 27th, 2007 by Kevin Murphy · 23 Comments
Drop everything you’re doing and help me out here! This kind of sinister conspiracy can’t go on if whistleblowers like us keep vigilant!
First, take a look at this. It’s the most recent version of the Fifty Dollar bill…
Now take a look at the most recent version of Ed Asner, and…